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So, What If You Don't Observe Holidays?
When it comes to certain things in life, I'm personally more interested in the origin than the motive. I'll explain:
Take the holiday Thanksgiving, for example. Although Boston Celtics baller Kyrie Irving caught some heat for not having great things to say, publicly, about Thanksgiving this year, I get why. Reportedly, his late mother is a descendant of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe and the origin of Thanksgiving? I'll put it to you this way—an interesting and informative read is "The Truth About Thanksgiving: What They Never Taught You in School".
And Christmas? I know a lot of Christians say that Jesus is the reason for the season; however, while that might be their motive for observing it, that's certainly not Christmas's origin. It's more about "the holiday of Saturnalia," a week-long period of lawlessness celebrated between December 17-25, and Christians back in the day wanting to get in on the festivities so badly that they "tacked" Christ's birthday on the end of it in order to justify becoming a part of Saturnalia. Christ's birthday is actually more around late spring, or early summer because (Hello!) that's when it's wintertime in the Middle East/Africa (Matthew 2, Luke 2).
Why is the New Year celebrated on January 1? Basically, Julius Caesar decided to switch up the calendar (you can read more about that here). I could go on, but I think you get where I'm going with this.
For me, it's knowing this kind of information that has brought me to a place of no longer observing/celebrating the holiday season. Now that doesn't mean I'm a low key Grinch who's plotting to take your Christmas trees in the middle of the night. It just means that when someone says, "So, what are you doing for the holidays?" with their faces beaming, my answer is simply, "I don't observe them," with the still-useful Kanye shrug. Then I go about the holiday season like I would any other day. And honestly, since I've been doing that, life has been less stressful, more peaceful, and yes, financially stable. I have no regrets. Not one.
While I know there are dozens of reasons why others may not observe the holiday season; maybe it's for religious reasons, maybe something else, the reason I'm penning this is because of the thing we have in common, which is we tend to be the exception and not the rule. Because of that, there's not nearly enough info out in cyberspace about how to get through this time of year—or all year if you're someone who doesn't celebrate any holiday at all.
If you can relate to where I'm coming from because, for whatever the reason, you don't do holidays either, here are some tips that get me through every time this time of year rolls around.
Decide What You Will—And Will Not—Do Beforehand.
I don't have any children, but I do have a goddaughter. I don't buy her Christmas gifts. She knows why, plus she gets enough stuff from me throughout the year that she's fine with it. One of my closest friends takes Christmas décor to a disturbing level, but I'm not gonna go over to her house and roll my eyes the entire time.
I usually swing by before she puts everything up or after Christmas is over, just so my lack of enthusiasm doesn't rain on her parade. My immediate family lives overseas, so that's not an issue and relatives who are close by respect that I'm not feeling lonely if I don't wanna swing by.
My point? Things only get "weird" when you're not clear. Once you are firm in your decisions and express to others what you want to do and don't want to do well before Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve, even if the first couple of years are uncomfortable or odd for them, eventually they will catch on. And usually, it becomes not that big of a deal—both ways.
Share Because They Ask, Not Because You’re Being An Anti-Holiday Bully.
Before I got to the personal place of not observing holidays (although I do have a thing for Valentine's Day, but not for the reasons you think; St. Valentine was pretty gangster), I always admired how Jewish and Muslim people I knew handled Christmas. They didn't observe it, but they didn't berate me with their reasons why either.
At the same time, whenever I asked them for their take on the day, they were more than happy to share; they were also really well-versed in what they were talking about. I'm grateful for those kinds of convos because they taught me to be knowledgeable about my stance while still being respectful of other people's positions. If someone asks what my deal is, I share. If they don't, a simple "I don't observe" will suffice.
Be Gracious.
There's a couple I know who have the greatest Christmas hustle around. They don't observe/celebrate Christmas, so they don't bring gifts to their family members' homes. Cool. Do you. Oh, but guess what they will do—accept presents. Is it just me or does that sound more selfish than anything else?
I'm not saying you should turn down grandma's $5 in her annual Christmas card just because you chose not to get her anything. But if you do decide to spend the actual holiday DAY with others, be gracious and bring a bottle of wine or a dessert or something. You would do that for Sunday dinner on a "regular" day, right? (Right?!?)
Create Your Own Traditions.
I really like going to the movies, so on Thanksgiving, it's bliss to be able to sit in a theatre and just binge-watch. Christmas? Since I work from home, it's amazing how much I can get done (online and off) since most people are focused on family stuff. New Years? I personally observe Rosh Hashanah so, it doesn't feel like I'm missing out on anything (I already had my new year). When you create your own traditions, it makes not observing the holidays in the way that others do basically a non-issue. They can do them while you do you and it's all good—both ways.
Acknowledge The Spirit Of The Season If Nothing Else.
A few years back, I interviewed a Jewish woman who is married to a Christian man. They celebrate "Christmahanukkah" at their house. Although she isn't big on Christmas, she said something about it that has stayed with me – "If this is the one time of year when everyone can act like they've got some sense and be loving to family, friends, and strangers alike, I can appreciate that." Yeah. Me too.
Pardon the pun, but we can wrap this up in a pretty red bow with that beautiful point. Whether you observe the holiday season or not, if every day is looked at as an opportunity to bring peace and goodwill to others, it shouldn't be an issue whether that day is a random Monday or a holiday. I think we all can get on the same page about that.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Mariee Revere On Her History-Making Million-Dollar Sales And The Future Of MoonXCosmetics
If the name Mariee Revere sounds familiar, it's probably because you heard of her beauty and skincare brand, MoonXCosmetics, or you may have heard about her history-making achievement of making $1.8 million in less than eight minutes. But before starting her million-dollar brand, Mariee was just a teenager trying to cure her acne.
While she grew up in the skincare capital of the world, South Korea, Mariee didn't really experience breakouts until her senior year of high school. Like many people who get their first breakout, she didn't know what to do, and there weren't many products out there at that time. So she decided to experiment. What she didn't know was that what she came up with would ultimately be her ticket to success.
"When I graduated high school, I moved back to America, Georgia, and I ended up making, like, the oil, the Rose Galore oil, which is like the staple product of my brand. I don't know what made me make it, but I did, and it literally cleared my face up," she tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview.
"I end up selling it as a body oil first because, obviously, I'm 17, [and] don't have any background as an esthetician or anything like that. I just made a product that worked for me, but people bought it and was using it, and I reformulated it, and then it just stuck like with me."
While MoonXCosmetics is known for its facial products, it wants to expand to body care and home. It just released its new product, Moon-Gel body wash, and it's only up from there. As Mariee continues to grow the brand, it's more than likely that she will see more history-making moments. And so far she has.
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When asked if she feels pressure to obtain more of those milestones, she says yes and no. "I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more," she says.
"I want to say more reach than more like fast-paced sales. I do want that. Obviously, every girl wants that, but I do want to have a better overall reach for my brand because I did take two years off so I was able to learn, [and] study a lot of different things. See how things have changed from 2020 to now."
"I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more."
Another part of expanding for any company is hiring people. Finding the right person to help you can be a hassle, especially for business owners who are used to doing all the work themselves. Mariee can relate to this, and she touched on this topic in her documentaryThe Million Dollar Story. She recommends having someone be your "right-hand man" who you trust to handle the ins and outs of the company.
"I could say, definitely get, like a right-hand man to help you within the process because that really was what helped me. I never had a job. I literally was 18 now, being like, you know, the boss of over 30+ employees at one point in time, and I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about no W-2s, no taxes, no clock in, clock out because all I [have] ever known was my brand," she explains.
"So I definitely partner with people who are very skewed and versed in those areas, and they helped me get through it. Even to this day, I still have my same person helping me with hiring, firing, [and] doing everything that I can right now because I'm still learning. But obviously people get jobs young, so they have way more experience than me, but still learning."
And though she is still learning, one thing she makes sure to stay on top of is being consistent. Consistency is what trips many people up when it comes to achieving goals, but Mariee says it's all about scheduling. Whether it's when to post on social media or email marketing, scheduling it out can make a world of difference. That same practice also works when planning out her future goals for the company.
"Right now, future goals would be to drop at least five more products before the end of the year. We always do outreach, where we do drives and all that, but definitely do way more this year, she says. "Then really dive into body [care], and then hopefully open up MoonXBody underneath MoonXCosmetics to let that branch out and be open and definitely get back consistent."
For more information, visit moonxco.com.
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