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4 Tips To Help Navigate The Holidays Alone While Serving In The Military
It's called the most wonderful time of the year for a reason, right? The holidays are usually a joyous occasion. Depending on where you live, there may be fresh snow on the ground, the beautiful scenery of the leaves changing, homes decorated with wreaths, some may have already put lights up on their houses. It is a time to bring people together, share wonderful memories, and of course, get in some good old fashioned holiday eating. But for someone serving in the military, this may be one of the most difficult times of the year.
When I arrived at my first duty station, it was three months before the holidays. I didn't know that I had to put in my leave request so far in advance, so when I did two weeks prior, my request was denied. I was heartbroken.
It also meant that I would be spending my first holiday alone away from my family. What was usually a season I looked forward to quickly became one that I dreaded as the time became closer. When the day came, I immediately felt my anxiety rising and as a result, I isolated myself, didn't take any calls, and turned what should have been a happy occasion for my family, into one filled with worry and despair. Over the years, I learned how to navigate being away from my family during the holidays. What was once a season I dreaded turned into a season that I found myself loving again.
Here are a few tips for navigating the holidays while serving in the military.
Make Friends With Your Coworkers
Gone are the days of going into work and leaving without establishing a relationship with your coworkers. They know exactly what you're going through and how you are feeling. If they aren't active duty themselves, usually they are the spouses of someone serving and are going through the exact same thing. When I established these relationships, not only did I have amazing people to spend the holidays with, I created lifelong friendships with people I still keep in touch with to this day.
Reach Out To Your Family
It's hard enough spending the holidays alone, but you shouldn't make your family suffer your pain as well. Express your concerns, but don't drown them with your "woe is me" stories. When I began to communicate with my family during the holidays, it made the transition a lot easier. I was able to let them know they didn't have to worry. In hindsight, they didn't. I had my extended military family and let's be honest, I did not have to hear about the latest family drama.
Get Into The Holiday Spirit By Helping Others
It can be daunting to spend the holidays alone, but that doesn't mean you can't get into the holiday spirit. Do the things that bring you joy during the holidays. Do you have an amazing egg nog recipe? Make it for your job's holiday potluck! Does everyone always seem marvel at your holiday decor? Offer to help someone decorate. Volunteer your services to make someone's holiday brighter and in return, you'll find that it will make yours brighter as well.
Seek Help When Needed
If you are really struggling during this holiday season, don't be afraid to ask for help. The military offers plenty of resources such as Military One Source, The Military Crisis Line, and you can always speak to someone in your Mental Health unit at your base. You don't have to go through these feelings alone. Reach out and to someone and let them know what you are going through. Remember there is always someone who is willing to help you if you let them.
Going through the holiday season as a service member can be tough, but it doesn't have to be. These tips are a great start to help you have the best holiday season you can. They have helped me through some of my toughest times as a military member and I hope they can help you too.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How To Get Through The Holidays If You Don't Observe Them
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Five Ways To Combat Seasonal Depression
Featured image by Shutterstock.
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Shan Britton is a veteran of the United States Air Force. She is a mother who enjoys writing, traveling, and loves all things 90's R&B. She currently resides in Houston, TX.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."