
4 Tips To Help Navigate The Holidays Alone While Serving In The Military

It's called the most wonderful time of the year for a reason, right? The holidays are usually a joyous occasion. Depending on where you live, there may be fresh snow on the ground, the beautiful scenery of the leaves changing, homes decorated with wreaths, some may have already put lights up on their houses. It is a time to bring people together, share wonderful memories, and of course, get in some good old fashioned holiday eating. But for someone serving in the military, this may be one of the most difficult times of the year.
When I arrived at my first duty station, it was three months before the holidays. I didn't know that I had to put in my leave request so far in advance, so when I did two weeks prior, my request was denied. I was heartbroken.
It also meant that I would be spending my first holiday alone away from my family. What was usually a season I looked forward to quickly became one that I dreaded as the time became closer. When the day came, I immediately felt my anxiety rising and as a result, I isolated myself, didn't take any calls, and turned what should have been a happy occasion for my family, into one filled with worry and despair. Over the years, I learned how to navigate being away from my family during the holidays. What was once a season I dreaded turned into a season that I found myself loving again.
Here are a few tips for navigating the holidays while serving in the military.
Make Friends With Your Coworkers
Gone are the days of going into work and leaving without establishing a relationship with your coworkers. They know exactly what you're going through and how you are feeling. If they aren't active duty themselves, usually they are the spouses of someone serving and are going through the exact same thing. When I established these relationships, not only did I have amazing people to spend the holidays with, I created lifelong friendships with people I still keep in touch with to this day.
Reach Out To Your Family
It's hard enough spending the holidays alone, but you shouldn't make your family suffer your pain as well. Express your concerns, but don't drown them with your "woe is me" stories. When I began to communicate with my family during the holidays, it made the transition a lot easier. I was able to let them know they didn't have to worry. In hindsight, they didn't. I had my extended military family and let's be honest, I did not have to hear about the latest family drama.
Get Into The Holiday Spirit By Helping Others
It can be daunting to spend the holidays alone, but that doesn't mean you can't get into the holiday spirit. Do the things that bring you joy during the holidays. Do you have an amazing egg nog recipe? Make it for your job's holiday potluck! Does everyone always seem marvel at your holiday decor? Offer to help someone decorate. Volunteer your services to make someone's holiday brighter and in return, you'll find that it will make yours brighter as well.
Seek Help When Needed
If you are really struggling during this holiday season, don't be afraid to ask for help. The military offers plenty of resources such as Military One Source, The Military Crisis Line, and you can always speak to someone in your Mental Health unit at your base. You don't have to go through these feelings alone. Reach out and to someone and let them know what you are going through. Remember there is always someone who is willing to help you if you let them.
Going through the holiday season as a service member can be tough, but it doesn't have to be. These tips are a great start to help you have the best holiday season you can. They have helped me through some of my toughest times as a military member and I hope they can help you too.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How To Get Through The Holidays If You Don't Observe Them
8 Tips For Meeting Bae's Family During The Holidays
5 Subtle But Major Ways to Give Back This Holiday Season
Five Ways To Combat Seasonal Depression
Featured image by Shutterstock.
Did you know that xoNecole has a podcast? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to join us for weekly convos over cocktails (without the early morning hangover.)
- How To Navigate Holidays When You Don't Celebrate Them - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Estranged From Family During Holidays - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Military Holiday Etiquette | AHRN.com ›
- Military OneSource – Support for Military Personnel & Families ›
- Military Mom Parenting 101 Guide ›
- How To Navigate The Holidays When You're Estranged From Your ... ›
- How to Handle Holiday Separations | Military.com ›
- Mental Health & Wellness — Military Spouse Advocacy Network ›
- Light up your Holidays: Helpful Survival Tips for the Holiday Season ... ›
Shan Britton is a veteran of the United States Air Force. She is a mother who enjoys writing, traveling, and loves all things 90's R&B. She currently resides in Houston, TX.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
After Decades-Long Career, Terri J. Vaughn Is Finally The Main Character: Exclusive
Terri J. Vaughn first captured our attention in the late ‘90s as Lovita Alizay Jenkins on The Steve Harvey Show. Decades later, she is starring in her very own series, She The People, which is now available to stream on Netflix.
The political sitcom, which she co-created with Niya Palmer and later teamed up with Tyler Perry Studios, is about a Black woman named Antoinette Dunkerson who runs for lieutenant governor of Mississippi. She wins and becomes the state’s first Black lieutenant governor. Now, she’s forced to balance working with a racist and sexist governor while also trying to keep her family from running amok.
According to the beloved actress, this project was a long time coming. “I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff,” she says in an exclusive interview with xoNecole.
“But just keep going, because this is what I do. This is what I love, and I know how important it is for us to continue to show up and make sure that we are seen, make sure that our voices are heard. For several reasons. I just never give up. So here I am, 20 years later, finally sold my show.”
She The People is inspired by the true story of London Breed, who became the first Black female mayor of San Francisco, Terri’s hometown. And to help make the show more authentic, the Cherish the Day actress tapped former Atlanta mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms to come on as a producer.'“I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff."
After bringing the former mayor aboard, it was time to pitch again. And this time, the companies were pitching them. Ultimately, Terri decided to work with Tyler Perry on the series.
“We decided to do it with Tyler for several reasons. I love that. Well, most of the companies we met with were Black-owned companies, but he was the only studio,” she explains. “Tyler is like Walt Disney. That's literally what he is. He has the studio, he has the content. He operates just like Walt Disney.”
And thanks to the cast, the show is nothing short of laughs. The series also stars social media creator Jade Novah as Antoinette’s crazy cousin/ assistant, Shamika, Family Mattersstar Jo Marie Payton as Anotinette’s mom, Cleo, and Terri’s husband, Karon Riley, who plays Michael, her driver and love interest.
While we’ve watched Terri’s career blossom in various ways. From directing to producing, and playing diverse characters, the mom of two says her The Steve Harvey Show character will always be her favorite.
“Well, Lovita was definitely my favorite, especially for my time, the age and everything that I was. Now as a grown ass woman over 50, Antoinette Dunkerson is everything that I've wanted to play. She's everything. She's a mother of two teenagers. She's divorced, so she's co-parenting with her ex-husband. She has to wrangle in a very eclectic family,” she says.
“So I like playing characters that are really flawed and trying to figure it out and doing their best to try to figure it. And she's very flawed and she is trying to figure it out, and she fucks up sometimes. But her heart and what she's trying to do and what her vision is and purpose, it's all for the people. I mean, she the people. She’s for the people, she is the people.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Jamie Lamor Thompson/ Shutterstock