I traveled to Mexico for three days to explore a 5-star hotel in the heart of Cancun and ended up consumed in my thoughts pertaining to what luxury means to me as a Black woman.
What I thought would be a simple trip close to home to discover a new property turned into days of intense reflection on my end.
Stepping into an environment known for relaxation and refined experiences, I embarked on a journey that transcended lavish accommodations and exquisite amenities.
Photo by Kempinski Hotel Cancún
The Epitome of Elegance at Kempinski Cancun Hotel
Cancun, a vibrant city in Mexico known for its all-inclusive offerings at its many resorts and hotels, now has the Kempinski Cancun that is introducing a different model to the city.
A short flight from Florida, I found myself immersed in an embracive aura of opulence at the hotel.
Formerly known as the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, which operated for 30+ years, the property has been transformed under the Kempinski brand and has spent the last year intentionally incorporating European-centric features infused with a Mexican flair to display on the property.
Upon arrival, I was met with a convivial spirit from the staff that carried through my time. As I walked into the hotel's lobby, an undeniable work of royal elegance charm, it was clear that each piece of art held a story.
Photo by Kempinski Hotel Cancún
Intricate works of art were displayed throughout the hotel, like bureaus that were crafted by the historical artisans who did Maximilian I of Mexico and Charlotte of Belgium's master chamber's bedroom furniture at Chapultepec Palace and the carpet covering the lobby's staircase that was designed by Hermès in Paris 30 years ago.
My favorite area of the hotel lies in the center on the fourth level. Here, I found a garden-like sanctuary. Each railing bristled with sprawls of green vines hanging from the awnings of each floor, encompassed by green pillars providing stability for the masterpiece that lay in front of me.
In the middle laid a sculpture engraved with symbols representing the hotel owner's family trajectory. Overlooking the sculpture overhead, mosaic-tiled art pieces displayed through a stained glass ceiling allowed for casts of natural sunlight to the hotel, adding to the area's beauty.
Unparalleled Views from the Club Seafront King Room
I stayed in the Club Seafront King Room at the hotel, which granted me views of the turquoise expanse of the Caribbean Sea from my private balcony. Waking up to the sound of the rhythmic collision of waves against the shores, I felt like a queen awakening in paradise.
The interior exuded a blend of modern sophistication, with a plush king-sized bed dressed in fine linens as the centerpiece. Expansive windows allowed natural light to cast a warm and inviting glow into my room daily, positively impacting my mood.
With amenities like a marble bathroom with a rain shower, separate bathtub, minibar, coffee station, flatscreen TV, embroidered plush robe, desk, and more, being a guest in this room allowed me to indulge in a world of luxury that strayed from my conventional travel approach.
The Club Seatfront King Room granted me access to the hotel's Club Lounge, where personalized service and an array of amenities awaited me. From this private enclave that the hotel offers guests on the floors booked in the respective club rooms, guests can indulge in complimentary gourmet lunches, afternoon tea, desserts, evening cocktails, or just a time of relaxation from the comfort of the lounge.
Photo by Christina Jane
Memorable Dining Experiences at Kempinski Hotel
Home to both of the only 5-Diamond restaurants in Cancun, dining at the Kempinski Hotel allowed me to delight in fine dining that presented an innovative expression of modern gastronomy.
5-diamond restaurants are prestigious ratings assigned by the American Automobile Association to hotels and restaurants around the world.
Fantino, an award-winning Mediterranean fine-dining restaurant holding one of the property’s high ratings, allowed me to immerse myself into a two-hour dining experience with stellar customer service and soothing melodies of a live piano, adding another layer of elegance that enhanced every bite.
I still reminisce about the bites of filet mignon soused with Port wine sauce and my introduction to the taste of carajillo, a coffee cocktail popularly enjoyed after dinner.
When not fine dining, I had the option of opting into other dining experiences around the property, like savoring fresh seafood from the casitas placed in front of the ocean or locally-inspired dishes at the El Café Mexicano.
Photo by Christina Jane
Wellness and Leisure Activities That Enhance The Stay
The Kempinski Hotel includes an array of world-class activities and experiences, from its rejuvenating spa and fitness center to its intentionally curated activities calendar with engaging ventures like tequila tasting, a turtle conservation program, and salsa classes that celebrate the rich culture of the region.
You can awaken your mind with a complimentary sunrise yoga class or cruise through the waters on a jet ski. The property alone is designed to provide an escape with two outdoor pools, a wellness spa, and a 1,299 ft white-sand beach.
If beach life isn’t your thing, the hotel has two outdoor pools and a jacuzzi surrounded with blue chairs and umbrellas towering above that give a resort feel.
Photo by Kempinski Hotel Cancún
The on-site KAYANTÁ Spa encapsulates Mayan traditions and customs using indigenous ingredients from the Yucatán Peninsula. From the minute I entered the spa for a day of relaxation, the seamless blend of essential oils with the tranquil ambiance captured my attention.
I was given a heated blanket while I awaited my massage therapist in the lounge and prepared for a 60-minute massage that touched all the right places.
The outdoor component of the spa includes a jacuzzi, a cold plunge pool, and outdoor showers infused with a citrus mango scent that sealed the experience as I prepared for my departure.
Photo by Kempinski Hotel Cancún
Dissecting Black Girl Luxury
So, as I found myself indulging in what I call a surface-level version of luxury for a few days at this stunning hotel, I began to internally reflect on what luxury truly means to be as a young Black woman navigating a society that ultimately was not designed for me to thrive.
My personality and core values have never aligned with the common materialistic narrative of what luxury is thought to be, but I’ve always admired the way Black women have emulated the essence of lavish living.
It’s a lifestyle that has been heavily critiqued, as it’s clear that people don’t always digest Black women living lavishly well. A classic example: Our good sis Jackie Aina.Black women are not a monolith and do not have to cater to the stereotypes we have been confined to over time. That is a message that has been communicated when discussing the topic and one that I can resonate with.
For me, it was clear that no amount of physical items, collections of high-end commodities, or stays in fancy hotels would represent the deeper meaning I associate with the luxury movement.With all of this in mind, I was faced with trying to pinpoint what exactly luxury meant to me as a Black woman.
Photo by Christina Jane
So What is Luxury to Me As A Black Woman?
I associate the word luxury with freedom. The freedom to choose how I want to spend my days, but mostly the freedom to simply exist without the pressures of the external world caving in on my thoughts or influencing my actions.
As a Black woman who is often deemed “successful” in the eyes of others, I am in a place where I am truly okay with simply existing. The value of who I am as a person goes beyond my contributions to society, and I have been working on leaning into this affirmation.
I think it’s easy to get wrapped up in the accolades, roles, titles, awards, etc., and it can begin to cloud our authentic reflection of self.
Photo by Christina Jane
Lessons from Sunrise Yoga
As if I wasn’t already in my head this entire trip, a sunset yoga class and insightful conversation with the yoga instructor at the hotel, Petra Ver Eecke, reaffirmed all of my thoughts and feelings.
The class focused on the constraints we often place on ourselves due to imitation. We have all of these imitations in life that we carry with us daily about how we believe things should be and look when we should just jump into things imperfect and as we are.
Your life doesn’t have to look like the next person’s life, and it won’t. Sometimes it’s essential to go through the process and create your own blueprint.
Photo by Rachel Cook on Unsplash
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I am incredibly grateful for my time of reflection at the Kempinski Hotel in Cancun—a time that provided me with an escape from the hustle of my average day-to-day life and allowed me to embrace my identity, aspirations, and the moments that truly resonate with my heart and soul.
I look forward to continuing to honor myself in my journey of healing, growth, and intentionality as a Black woman, exploring how to continue living a life of luxury both on the inside and out.
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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