Thick thighs save lives. #Facts. But we've also learned the hard way what happens when our thighs rub together for too long.
Chafing. That type of pain hits different. I've had times where I've literally had to ice my inner thighs because I wanted to show out in a pair of shorts. But chafing has been an issue for far too long. And we can't let it get in the way of our summer plans… whatever they are.
There are ways we can wear shorts and sundresses without having to suffer the aftermath of chafing. I might be late to the game, but I've found some solutions and wanted to share the wealth.
Anti-Chafing Thigh Bands
I was seriously missing out in life before I knew these babies even existed! This goes to show how major the chafing issue is and how much it needs to be overcome. The best part is that you could still rock your sundresses with no shame. But wait! There's more. There's also a variety of designs you can select like sheer and lace to the classic from Bandelettes and traditional nylon and/or spandex material. They can be found at most major department stores and of course on Amazon. Keep in mind this product isn't designed to work as a shaper, but rather a barrier that can prevent your skin from rubbing together.
Corn Starch + Coconut Oil = Win
From hairstyling to cooking, coconut oil is the multi-purpose ingredient that keeps on giving. And apparently, there's another way we can benefit from it. When paired with corn starch, it can prevent chafing and irritation, especially inside our upper thighs. The plus side is that it gets your thighs moisturized but not all greasy, because who wants to trade in chafing for sweaty and greasy? You can put some on before you head out for your summer festivities or keep the mix in a container to apply as you go throughout your day. Do you boo!
Get Monistat Stat
I will say, some of us have been ashamed to have Monistat in our bags. But between us ladies, we know that it can help us out… and not just for unexpected yeast infections that make us question our entire beings. Monistat actually has a chafing relief powder gel. Basically, it goes on as a gel but dries as a powder. You can put it between those thighs or really anywhere you experience chafing (which is unfortunately any space where your skin rubs together *insert eyeroll here*). It also serves as an extra dose of vitamin E for your skin, which is also a score.
Good Ol' Talcum Powder
Talcum powder can do wonders on its very own. And you might have already heard about the superpower it has to prevent chafing. Talcum powder allows your thighs to block out any extra moisture that causes chafing, like sweat. It keeps that part of your body nice and fresh, so you don't have to worry about itching and irritation when you should be enjoying your summer.
Anti-Chafe Lube
It only makes sense to lean on a product that's designed to prevent chafing. And we all know lube can help reduce uncomfortable friction in more ways than one. Body Glide for Her is one of the most popular products as it moisturizes the skin without leaving it wet or greasy. It's free of mineral oils, petroleum and lanolin but full of healthy vitamins like A, B, E, and F and keep your melanin nice and hydrated. It also features all-day protection, so you don't have to keep on applying it multiple times. Now you can get back to drinking your water, minding your business and flourishing.
All-Natural Products
As you might have guessed, chafing can be prevented with products and ingredients you probably already have in your own home. One mix is turmeric and water that you can apply between your thighs and wash off after 30 minutes. Another is essential oils like tea tree oil and of course coconut oil. And oatmeal isn't only used for the most important meal of the day. It can prevent chafing when you let it soak on your thighs for about 20 minutes. And there you have it!
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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