I love a good beauty trend, but I was a little skeptical about the jade roller. Mainly because of the price point and when I started to see them everywhere, the idea felt gimmicky.
With a bit of research, I saw that jade has been used for wellness in China for centuries. So, like any true beauty connoisseur, I decided it was time to give one a try. I thought about ordering one from Herbivore Botanicals, since I love their products, but since I have two-day shipping with Amazon Prime, I ordered this $21 rose quartz roller, and I was excited to give it a try.
Before I tell you how my try went, I want to answer some of the questions I had about the new fad taking the beauty world by storm.
One of my biggest questions has been what do the rollers actually do?
Coveteur
Well, jade or rose quartz rollers are said to reduce puffiness because they increase lymphatic drainage in the face, which dermatologist back up. But, the claims that they reduce wrinkles, help face serums penetrate the skin, and remove toxins are still debated by skincare pros.
My next question was, how do you know a roller is authentic?
Allure
In this case, the "you get what you pay for" motto works. If a roller is priced under $10, this likely means it's made with glass or plastic, which means you won't get the benefits you're hoping for—so double-check to make sure you're picking up a 100% jade or rose quartz roller.
Now, that you’ve purchased a real one, how do you use it?
I was doing it all wrong by rolling it up and down my face. Rolling your new beauty tool in an upward motion is the what helps depuff the skin. There isn't a certain time limit that will make your skin better, but I roll it over my skin until all of my serums are penetrated, and then I wash the tool off with soapy water right after I finish. Like any skin tool you use, it's crucial to clean them to keep the germs at bay. If you want a little extra R&R, pop your roller into the fridge and use it in the morning to wake up your skin! It really does feel amazing.
I enjoyed taking the time to let my serum set in instead of rushing through my morning and nightly routine, and it just makes me feel beautiful watching the pale pink roller move in an upward motion on my skin. All and all, I don't think adding this to your routine is going to make any drastic changes to your skin, but hey, taking a little extra time to care for yourself and your skin is never a bad thing.
Featured image by Bianca Lambert for xoNecole
Originally published on April 25, 2019
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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