Put Your Vagina On A 'Summer Diet' This Year
While in an interview that dealt with preparing for the summer from a health and beauty standpoint, I was asked what is a totally underrated thing that more women should do. My response? “Ladies should put their vagina on a summer diet.”
Although it might sound odd, here’s what I mean by that. This is the time of year when it’s hot and humid. It’s also when we tend to do more traveling and sometimes have extra time off. Not to mention the fact that our swimsuits and shorts may be on the snugger side. Factor all of these things in, and it equals out to the importance of being hypervigilant about keeping vaginal infections at bay while also doing our best to keep our sex drives going strong (for those romantic vacations and days when we can sleep in).
Well, something that can help to accomplish these goals is consuming a vagina-friendly diet that consists of several foods that happen to be in season during the summertime.
So, if you want both you and “her” feeling really good over the next couple of months, here are the following 15 foods (along with some recipes that feature them) that get — and keep — you both tight ‘n right in the best ways possible…all summer long.
1. Blackberries
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Whenever I’m looking to enjoy a light summer snack, some blackberries and whipped cream will oftentimes hit the spot. Blackberries are good for you because they are high in fiber, and they have vitamins C and K and manganese in them. Believe it or not, if you’re looking for a fruit that will help to keep your oral health on-point, blackberries have your back in that department too.
The reason why your vagina will appreciate you upping your blackberry intake is the vitamin C in them can help to heal and even prevent bacterial vaginosis. Also, since vitamin C is awesome at boosting your immunity, blackberries can help to keep bad bacteria from leading to a yeast infection.
Blackberries Recipe: Blackberry White Chocolate S’mores
2. Limes
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I like sour stuff, so nothing brings me more joy than a tall glass of Simply Limeade or even a limeade from Sonic (their ice is still king!). Shoot, even when I drink simple lime water, I’m looking out for my health in a delicious way because it’s got vitamins A, B, C, and D, magnesium, potassium, and even calcium in it — and all of these things work together to improve my digestion, keep my skin clear and even help me to shed a few pounds.
Since limes are also full of antioxidants, they can help stabilize your pH balance so that vaginitis isn't an issue for you. And since an unbalanced pH can cause things like vaginal odor, itchiness, and irritation, that’s something that you definitely should care about. Where are your limes at?
Limes Recipe: Lime Sorbet
3. Corn
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I don’t know what it is about fresh corn on the cob on a summer evening, but I can totally dig it. As a healthy grain, corn is chock full of water (over 70 percent), protein, and fiber. It’s also a good source of carbs, zinc, phosphorus, magnesium, and copper. Since corn also contains vitamin C, it’s great when it comes to maintaining eye health and helping to keep cancer and heart disease at bay.
Your vagina will appreciate corn because the zinc and copper that’s in it will help keep your vaginal tissues nice and healthy. Some studies reveal that zinc is beneficial to women’s sex drive once they’ve become menopausal too.
Corn Recipe: Mexican Street Corn
4. Summer Squash
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Probably the best way to define summer squash is it’s the kind of squash that has rinds that can be consumed. When folks think of summer squash, what usually comes to mind is zucchini and yellow squash, although there are technically several others.
One of the best things about squash (at least in my opinion) is there are so many ways to prepare it: you can grill it, bake it, fry it, sautée it, roast it — and that’s just for starters. And every time you consume it, you can feel good about yourself because squash contains vitamins B6, C, and beta-carotene that can improve the health of your eyes and skin. Summer squash, specifically, also has vitamin A, along with phosphorus, magnesium, potassium, and fiber.
All of this is beneficial to your vaginal health, indirectly, because things like low B6 lead to mood swings and a weakened immune system; low magnesium leads to weakness, body stiffness, and changes in personality; and low potassium leads to things like weakness and muscle cramping. Does any of this sound like the makings of a good time when it comes to sex? Exactly. Get some squash in. Your vagina will thank you for it.
Summer Squash Recipe: Sautéed Yellow Squash
5. Plums
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Something that is related to peaches and nectarines is plums. Plums are good for you because they’re a great source of fiber and a solid source of vitamin C. They also contain a fair amount of just about any other nutrient that you can imagine. Health benefits-wise, plums are also filled with antioxidants, are good for your health, and help keep your bones in great shape.
Plums make the “vagina summer diet” list because they also contain properties that help to reduce anxiety and stress. This is good to know because those types of feelings can cause irregular periods, vaginal dryness, and a low sex drive too.
Plums Recipe: Plum Tarts with Honey and Black Pepper
6. Watermelon
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Although I enjoy watermelon, something that irks the entire mess outta me about it is, it’s such a hit-or-miss type of fruit. Meaning, it’s either gonna be extremely sweet or basically some trash. If you share my sentiment and that’s why you don’t partake in it as much as you would like, from what I’ve read and researched, the rounder a watermelon is, the better. Not only that but the bolder and more consistent the stripes are on the melon indicate how ripe it is. Also, avoid green stems; those mean that the watermelon isn’t as sweet as you probably want it to be (you’re welcome, sis).
On to the health benefits. Since watermelon is made up of 92 percent water, it’s definitely a fruit that will help to keep you hydrated. It’s also a pretty good source of fiber, protein, and vitamin C, along with antioxidants and citrulline, which is an amino acid that helps to improve athletic performance. Citrulline is also dope because it can help men who deal with erectile dysfunction (which is why watermelon also has the nickname “natural Viagra”). Also, some studies say that it can help to decrease the discomfort that’s associated with sickle cell disease.
Why will your vagina adore watermelon? Well, I actually read a doctor’s interview that said that a consistent dose of citrulline can help to strengthen the pelvic floor of both men and women. The stronger your walls are, the easier it is to orgasm.
Watermelon Recipe: Watermelon Lemonade
7. Cucumber
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Another food that is made up of mostly water (96 percent, to be exact) is the cucumber. Nutrient-wise, it also can give you a fair amount of fiber, protein, and vitamin K along with antioxidants, potassium, and vitamin C. Health-wise, not only will cucumbers keep you hydrated, but they will also manage your blood sugar and help to keep you regular.
Cucumbers can be awesome as far as your vaginal health goes, mostly because vitamin K is linked to decreasing the chances of being diagnosed with an HPV infection. And since there’s also a connection between vitamin K and estrogen levels staying where they belong, eating cucumbers is always a win/win.
Cucumber Recipe: Cucumber Salsa
8. Cherries
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If you want to enjoy a big bowl of cherries while they are at their peak, make sure to cop you some before August 1; apparently, this is the window when they taste the absolute sweetest. And y’all, I’m not sure if too many things top how good cherries taste on a summer afternoon. As far as specific health benefits go, you’re gonna get some fiber, protein, vitamin C, and potassium. Cherries are also beneficial when it comes to the antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties that they carry, along with their ability to help with arthritic pain and improve your quality of sleep, thanks to the melatonin that is also in them.
Something else that’s great about cherries is, thanks to the magnesium that they contain, they can help to keep your cortisol (stress) hormone levels from spiking; as a direct result, your hormones are able to remain stabilized — this includes your sex hormones and the ones that help sex to feel good like oxytocin and dopamine. And yes, all of this is a shout-out to the health and well-being of your vagina in a semi-roundabout way.
Cherries Recipe: Cherry Slushie
9. Eggplant
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Don’t ask me to make you some eggplant parmesan because I promise you that I’m gonna hurt your feelings. I don’t know what inspired me to master that dish but chile…I have. Good thing, too, because eggplant is a fruit (yes, fruit) that is loaded with fiber and protein; it’s also got some vitamin A and vitamin C in it too. If you happen to be diabetic, polyphenols can keep your blood sugar in a good place. Also, eggplant contains cancer-fighting properties, and it can help to reduce the risk of heart disease.
Now get this: eggplant also has antioxidants in it, and one of them is called anthocyanins. Not only are they responsible for the fruit’s pigment, some studies say that it helps to reduce inflammation and oxidative stress and improve menopause-related symptoms. Now how cool is that?
Eggplant Recipe: Best-Ever Eggplant Meatballs
10. Honeydew
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So, when was the last time that you cut into a honeydew melon? Not only is it a good source of fiber, protein, and potassium, honeydew also contains properties that help to reduce blood pressure levels, keep your blood sugar in a healthy place, and it’s filled with electrolytes as well. If you’ve ever been curious about what electrolytes do, they strengthen muscles, make exercising easier, improve cognitive function, strengthen immunity, and even enhance your quality of sleep at night.
Since studies reveal that people who are low in electrolytes tend to be fatigued, moody, and irritable, recommending honeydew for your vagina is more about your va-jay-jay getting some (more) action than anything — because when you feel refreshed and happy, how can that not translate, beautifully, in the bedroom…right?
Honeydew Recipe: Honeydew Blueberry Soup
11. Yogurt
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If you’re a vegetarian and you’re looking for a high-protein snack, look no further than yogurt. Since it also has calcium, magnesium and vitamin D in it, I’m sure you can see why it’s good for you on a few different levels — including the fact that it can help you to manage your weight, strengthen your heart and immunity and it could even reduce your chances of being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
Vagina-wise, yogurt is bomb because it also has a good amount of Vitamin B12 in it. And since studies show that a B12 deficiency is linked to things like vaginal dryness and even infertility, some frozen yogurt would be ideal in the heat in a myriad of different ways.
Yogurt Recipe: Grapefruit Yogurt Cake
12. TruFru
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When I tell you that I’ve been wondering where TruFru has been all of my life, ever since enjoying my first bag of some a couple of months ago — have mercy! If you’ve never had the pleasure, it’s frozen fruit pieces that are covered in white and dark chocolate. Although I can only comment on the raspberry and cherry ones, they also have bananas, pineapples, blueberries, and strawberries (and other dips, including dark chocolate and peanut butter, white chocolate and coconut, and ruby cacao).
We’ve already covered the benefits of berries and cherries, so let me focus on the dark chocolate part. Since dark chocolate is also full of antioxidants along with magnesium that helps to stimulate blood flow throughout your body — this means that your genital region can get a bit of a sexual stimulation kick which is always an excellent thing. (As a bonus, dark chocolate can protect your skin from damaging sun rays too!)
Anyway, if you want to read up more on TruFru, feel free to here. I’ve found mine at pretty much any local grocery store that I’ve been to, and, even though they aren’t the cheapest things on the planet, I’ve had no regrets, ever, when it comes to purchasing a bag (or three).
13. Mineral Water
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I make it no secret that “flat water” bores me to tears. So, the way that I get my water intake in is by drinking sparkling water; sometimes, it’s sparkling mineral water. Mineral water can be beneficial because it has magnesium, calcium, and fluoride (for starters) in it. These work together to promote bone health, lower your blood pressure, and even relieve constipation.
Consuming mineral water can help to maintain your vaginal health because the fewer toxins that are in your system, the less bad bacteria will affect your vagina. Plus, the more water that’s in your system, the more lubricated your vagina will naturally be. And that’s always a good thing…all the way around. Not to mention the fact that the magnesium in it can make PMS easier to bear.
Mineral Water Recipe: Ranch Water
14. Mezcal
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I’ve read enough comments from y’all to know that most of you have at least a few plans for yourself, some friends (or bae), and a couple of bottles of liquor. When it comes to selecting the best kind of alcohol, when was the last time you indulged in some mezcal? If you’ve never had any before, it’s a blend of agave and tequila and is considered to be one of the healthiest forms of alcohol around (check out bon appétit’s “Why Are All the ‘Healthy’ People Drinking Mezcal?”).
The combination of the agave and tequila can aid in weight loss, supporting bone health and reducing inflammation.
And since Mezcal can also help to boost the iron levels in your system and since iron deficiency can affect your metabolism and stress levels, and since stress can have a direct effect on your sex and feel-good hormones — why not enjoy a class or two of Mezcal this coming weekend? Get you and your vagina hype. Why not?
Mezcal Recipe: Mezcal Mango Smash
15. Red Wine
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As if you needed a reason or an excuse to drink a glass of wine tonight other than you want to, right? Still, doing so is helpful on a few levels. I say that because red wine is packed with antioxidants that work to balance your blood sugar levels, improve your memory, strengthen your heart, reduce your cancer risks, and fight off certain viruses too.
And looka here — science also says that if you consume a moderate amount of red wine on a fairly consistent basis, the properties in it will increase vaginal lubrication, sexual desire, and blood flow to your va-jay-jay, which makes climaxing easier and more intense.
So, do yourself and your vagina a favor and check out this list (here) of some of the best red wines for 2023. After you finish grocery shopping for the rest of these foods, there’s no better way to top off your meal — and the memories that you will be making this summer. Enjoy!
Red Wine Recipe: Red Wine Poached Pears
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Not too long ago, while in a session with one of my clients, they were talking to me about having strong sex cravings that seemed to have come out of nowhere. After asking some questions for clarity’s sake, I got that the reason why they used the word “craving” is because it’s not like they are hornier than usual all of the time. Nah, it’s more like the urge creeps up at some pretty random and/or unexpected moments. What they wanted to know from me was if I thought that it was normal.
The short answer is “yes.”
Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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