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This Is How To Eat Your Way To A Wetter (Yes, Wetter) Vagina
There’s a reason why foreplay is so important. Aside from the fact that it helps people to get more into the mood, that type of sexual stimulation helps to activate a woman’s system so that she’s able to naturally produce vaginal lubrication. This is crucial to pleasurable and satisfying sex because, without “extra wetness,” penetration and the friction that comes along with it can be uncomfortable, if not outright painful.
The issue is that even if you are blessed with a partner who is a foreplay master, things like hormonal shifts, a poor diet, and even certain types of medications can make getting wet a bit of a challenge.
10 Foods That Make You Wetter
Good thing there are certain foods that you can eat that come with nutrients and properties that can make natural lubrication easier for you. If you’re curious to know what some of those happen to be, I’ve got 10 foods (along with some recipes), four supplements, and a diet tip that will get — or keep — your vagina right where it should be in the bedroom. Let’s do this.
1. Sweet Potatoes
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If you know you’re low on the nutrient intake tip and you wanna ramp things up immediately, treat yourself to a sweet potato. It’s loaded with fiber, the antioxidant beta-carotene, vitamins A, B, C, and E, and potassium, and it’s a solid source of protein (if you happen to be vegan or a vegetarian). Health-wise, sweet potatoes are good for you because they help to regulate your blood sugar levels as well as lower your cancer risks. Some medical professionals say that they support eye health and can keep inflammation down as well.
The reason why they make the “wetter va-jay-jay” list is that vitamin A is a nutrient that helps to increase vaginal lubrication, and reportedly just one sweet potato can give you a whopping 400 percent of the daily vitamin A that your system needs. So, when do you plan on eating one, sis?
Sweet Potato Recipe: Chili Cheese Sweet Potato Casserole
2. Apples
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Coming in as the most convenient snack on this list is the apple. It’s small. It’s portable. And it’s really good for you. Not only is an apple another food that’s full of fiber, but it also contains vitamin C and antioxidants that help to fight off free radicals. Plus, if you’re wanting to keep heart disease and diabetes at bay while also doing something to keep your gut health in check, an apple is definitely what you’re looking for. Oh, and if you’re curious about which ones are healthier (green or red), reportedly, green ones have less calories, carbs, and sugar in them.
And yes, apples are great for vaginal lubrication, too. One study revealed that one a day can keep things flowing well, and since they’re also made up of 86 percent water — you’ve got every reason in the world to make sure there are plenty in your house.
Apple Recipe: Apple Cobbler
3. Spinach
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Something that I just can’t seem to get enough of these days is sauteed spinach. I think it’s because it’s so quick and easy to make — just a bit of olive oil, butter, a dash, and salt and pepper in a skillet for a couple of minutes, and you’re all set. It’s a bonus that spinach is such a superfood too. After all, it has fiber, protein, vitamins A, C, and K, iron, calcium, and folic acid in it. Not only that, but it’s got a load of plant compounds that do everything from protect your vision and heart to help with reducing your blood pressure and oxidative stress levels as well.
Spinach is an ally for your vagina and how well it lubricates due to the nitrates that are in it. They help to increase blood flow, including to your vaginal region — and the more that helps, the wetter things tend to be.
Spinach Recipe: Crustless Quiche
4. Peanut Butter
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If you want to get some zinc, magnesium, vitamin B, and definitely some protein into your system, treat yourself to a teaspoon (or tablespoon) of peanut butter. The combination will help you with your workout regimen (especially if you want to build some muscle), manage your blood sugar levels, and it can even help you to maintain your weight (when consumed in moderation, do keep in mind that it’s got some fat up in it).
What makes peanut butter so helpful when it comes to your vagina is vitamin E has had a longstanding reputation for being an all-natural lubrication alternative, especially for women who are going through menopause. And since it’s a nutrient that works so well at moisturizing from the outside in, it would make sense that it would also be beneficial from the inside out, too, wouldn’t you say?
I’m such a fan that I shouted Vitamin E out in the article, “Here Are 12 Of The Supplements That Your Vagina Totally Needs.”
Peanut Butter Recipe: Homemade Peanut Butter (With Variations)
5. Kiwi
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Back when I penned the article, “Who Knew? 15 Foods You've Been Eating (Or Preparing) The "Wrong" Way.” for the site, one of the foods that I mentioned was kiwi. Basically, if you want to get the most out of it, you need to keep the skin on. If you do, you’ll be doing your body a world of good because kiwi boosts your collagen levels, contains magnesium (which makes your periods easier to handle), has depression-fighting properties, fiber, and vitamin C, and can help to lower your risk of having a stroke.
What will it do for your vagina exactly? Aside from the fact that the vitamin C in it can help to inhibit the bacteria that lead to vaginitis. Since kiwi is made up of 90 percent water, it’s a delicious way to avoid dehydration — from head to vagina to toe.
Kiwi Recipe: Kiwi Avocado Salsa Verde
6. Cucumber Juice
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It’s weird, but even though they don’t really taste like much of anything (cucumbers are made up of somewhere around 96 percent water which is probably why), I like snacking on cucumbers (especially with a bit of lime juice and some white pepper and salt). If you do as well, pat yourself on the back because they have protein, fiber, a ton of vitamin K, antioxidants, and other nutrients in them. And again, since there is so much water in cucumbers, you’re going to get a ton of hydration from such a low-calorie FRUIT (yep, you heard me right; cucumber is a fruit!).
Vaginally, when it comes to cucumbers, although you should ABSOLUTELY AVOID that “vaginal facial” mess that was all the rage several years back (you can read more about that here), some studies link vitamin K deficiency to a drop in estrogen. When that happens, it can definitely take a toll on vaginal lubrication, which is why munching on a cucumber or drinking a tall glass of fresh cucumber juice could be one of the best things to do as far as genital juiciness is concerned.
Cucumber Juice Recipe: Cucumber Juice
7. Mangoes
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I don’t know about y’all, but one of my favorite fruits of all time is the mango. Aside from the “stringiness,” the taste and texture are top-tier. Health-wise, the American Heart Association praises mango as being a “superhero of fruit” — and with good reason. Mangoes contain fiber, lots of vitamin C, protein, copper, folate, and lots of other nutrients. As far as health benefits go, it’s a fruit that is low in calories, fights diabetes, and is full of plant compounds that will keep free radicals from attacking your system while boosting your immunity at the same time.
Since there is also some vitamin A and E in this particular fruit, mango is another food that helps with vaginal dryness, especially since both nutrients are beneficial when it comes to treating vaginal atrophy (which can hinder natural lubrication).
Mango Recipe: Mango Kulfi
8. Fortified Orange Juice
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I actually find it interesting that just like the diamond ring started as a campaign for when De Beers was going broke (true story), the reason why orange juice is so much of a staple for breakfast is due to a similar reason. Apparently, a company by the name of Lord & Thomas used an ad back in the early 1900s to convince people that drinking OJ in the morning was a healthy way to start the day. Clearly, it worked because folks continue to rely on a glass of orange juice to give them a blood sugar rush (when they are low on energy), to strengthen their immunity (thanks to all of the vitamin C and antioxidants that it contains) and to get a good amount of vitamin D and calcium into their system.
Your vagina? The bottom line here is antioxidants, and organic acids help to keep bacteria out — the healthier your vaginal region is, the easier it is for lubrication to stay good and consistent. And why is it best that the juice be fortified? At the end of the day, that just means that it has extra nutrients in it, so try and look for orange juice that is fortified with vitamin D (it should say so on the label). Since we, as Black women, tend to be more deficient in that nutrient than other ethnicities, it’s a wise move all the way around.
Orange Juice Recipe(s): 25 Best Recipes with Orange Juice to Try Today
9. Eggs
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I don’t think it’s happenstance at all that right around the time that I’m about to (le sigh) PMS, I crave an omelet — or three. The high amounts of protein, B vitamins, and selenium (which help to keep female hormones in balance) all work with other nutrients in eggs to make them a world-class superfood. Eggs help to maintain eye health, lower your risk of heart disease and keep your cholesterol in a healthy state.
And yes, eggs are good for your vagina, especially as far as producing lubrication is concerned. Aside from selenium, which strives to make sure that an imbalance of hormones doesn’t “dry you out,” the B vitamins will boost your immune system as well as keep your nervous system from affecting how everything flows down below.
Eggs Recipe: Quick and Cheesy Omelet Roll-Up
10. DHEA
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Dehydroepiandrosterone's nickname is DHEA. To make a long story short, it’s a natural hormone that your adrenal gland produces. You need it because it helps to produce sex hormones like androgen and estrogen. If you take it in supplement form, it can help with things like obesity and depression, which is already pretty awesome; however, it makes this list because DHEA can also balance out your hormone levels so that vaginal atrophy (and erectile dysfunction in men) is less of an issue. And again, since dryness is typically a symptom of vaginal atrophy…well…there ya go.
11. Evening Primrose Oil
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Something that I am always and forever gonna sing the high praises of is evening primrose oil (check out “The 7 Supplements That TOTALLY Changed My Life”). Since taking it, it’s made PMS-related symptoms, random breakouts, and period-related breast discomfort so much less of an issue. Something else that’s cool about this particular supplement is there are studies to support that taking it on a regular basis can actually make it easier to get aroused and have orgasms — and since vaginal lubrication comes with being sexually stimulated…you definitely can’t miss by adding this oil into your diet. TRUST ME.
12. Black Cohosh
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If there is an herbal supplement that has a huge reputation for being beneficial in the realm of women’s health, black cohosh would be the one. Due to the fact that it also helps with balancing hormones, many sing its praises when it comes to treating menopause, helping with fertility issues, regulating menstrual cycles, and even decreasing the size of uterine fibroids (pretty impressive, right?).
And since it is respected as an all-natural alternative to menopause, if you’re going through that stage of life, black cohosh very well could make vaginal dryness and sexual discomfort altogether less of an issue that you will have to deal with.
13. Hyaluronic Acid
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How many times have you seen a skincare commercial that brought up hyaluronic acid? Believe it or not, it’s actually a substance that your system naturally produces — and here’s the thing: its main purpose is to keep your tissues nice and moist. So, you can already see why it’s featured in this article because whether you want supple skin, lubricated joints, or a wetter vagina, hyaluronic acid can make it happen for you. And although it has relatively no side effects, the main heads up on this one is if you’ve had cancer before or you currently do run it by your doctor. There are some studies that indicate that it can play a role in speeding up the growth of cancer cells if you’re not careful.
14. Less White Stuff
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White ain’t right. What I mean by that is carbs that have been overprocessed, like white flour, white rice, white pasta, and white bread, play a significant role in why obesity continues to be a very real issue and health risk in our country. A part of the reason is not only do those kinds of foods leave us NOT feeling full, but they also spike blood sugar levels. As far as your sex life goes, white foods can suppress your hormones which makes having a high libido (that can keep you wet) more challenging and your partner keeping a full erection more difficult as well.
15. Infused Water
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It’s somewhat of a disturbing reality that 75 percent of Americans are not only dehydrated but severely dehydrated — especially when you take into account that 60 percent of our bodies are made up of water. That’s why there was absolutely no way that I could pen a piece like this and not shout out the absolute importance (and relevance) of drinking plenty of water on a daily basis.
If you happen to be like me and find water to, as I say it, be like drinking “wet air” (BORING), make some infused water. The fruit and/or veggies that you put into it will not only add some flavor to liven things up, but you’ll also gain some extra nutrients from them too. That way, your system will be hydrated, and your vagina will be well lubricated. Drink up!
Infused Water Recipe(s): 23 Infused Water Ideas That Will Make You Forget About Soda
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- 8 Teas That Are Really Good For Your Vaginal Health ›
- 10 Ways To Have An "Extra Sweet" Vagina ›
- The Foods Your Vagina's Been Craving ›
- Here's How To Increase Vaginal Lubrication. Naturally. ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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