This Is How To Eat Your Way To A Wetter (Yes, Wetter) Vagina
There’s a reason why foreplay is so important. Aside from the fact that it helps people to get more into the mood, that type of sexual stimulation helps to activate a woman’s system so that she’s able to naturally produce vaginal lubrication. This is crucial to pleasurable and satisfying sex because, without “extra wetness,” penetration and the friction that comes along with it can be uncomfortable, if not outright painful.
The issue is that even if you are blessed with a partner who is a foreplay master, things like hormonal shifts, a poor diet, and even certain types of medications can make getting wet a bit of a challenge.
10 Foods That Make You Wetter
Good thing there are certain foods that you can eat that come with nutrients and properties that can make natural lubrication easier for you. If you’re curious to know what some of those happen to be, I’ve got 10 foods (along with some recipes), four supplements, and a diet tip that will get — or keep — your vagina right where it should be in the bedroom. Let’s do this.
1. Sweet Potatoes
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If you know you’re low on the nutrient intake tip and you wanna ramp things up immediately, treat yourself to a sweet potato. It’s loaded with fiber, the antioxidant beta-carotene, vitamins A, B, C, and E, and potassium, and it’s a solid source of protein (if you happen to be vegan or a vegetarian). Health-wise, sweet potatoes are good for you because they help to regulate your blood sugar levels as well as lower your cancer risks. Some medical professionals say that they support eye health and can keep inflammation down as well.
The reason why they make the “wetter va-jay-jay” list is that vitamin A is a nutrient that helps to increase vaginal lubrication, and reportedly just one sweet potato can give you a whopping 400 percent of the daily vitamin A that your system needs. So, when do you plan on eating one, sis?
Sweet Potato Recipe: Chili Cheese Sweet Potato Casserole
2. Apples
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Coming in as the most convenient snack on this list is the apple. It’s small. It’s portable. And it’s really good for you. Not only is an apple another food that’s full of fiber, but it also contains vitamin C and antioxidants that help to fight off free radicals. Plus, if you’re wanting to keep heart disease and diabetes at bay while also doing something to keep your gut health in check, an apple is definitely what you’re looking for. Oh, and if you’re curious about which ones are healthier (green or red), reportedly, green ones have less calories, carbs, and sugar in them.
And yes, apples are great for vaginal lubrication, too. One study revealed that one a day can keep things flowing well, and since they’re also made up of 86 percent water — you’ve got every reason in the world to make sure there are plenty in your house.
Apple Recipe: Apple Cobbler
3. Spinach
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Something that I just can’t seem to get enough of these days is sauteed spinach. I think it’s because it’s so quick and easy to make — just a bit of olive oil, butter, a dash, and salt and pepper in a skillet for a couple of minutes, and you’re all set. It’s a bonus that spinach is such a superfood too. After all, it has fiber, protein, vitamins A, C, and K, iron, calcium, and folic acid in it. Not only that, but it’s got a load of plant compounds that do everything from protect your vision and heart to help with reducing your blood pressure and oxidative stress levels as well.
Spinach is an ally for your vagina and how well it lubricates due to the nitrates that are in it. They help to increase blood flow, including to your vaginal region — and the more that helps, the wetter things tend to be.
Spinach Recipe: Crustless Quiche
4. Peanut Butter
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If you want to get some zinc, magnesium, vitamin B, and definitely some protein into your system, treat yourself to a teaspoon (or tablespoon) of peanut butter. The combination will help you with your workout regimen (especially if you want to build some muscle), manage your blood sugar levels, and it can even help you to maintain your weight (when consumed in moderation, do keep in mind that it’s got some fat up in it).
What makes peanut butter so helpful when it comes to your vagina is vitamin E has had a longstanding reputation for being an all-natural lubrication alternative, especially for women who are going through menopause. And since it’s a nutrient that works so well at moisturizing from the outside in, it would make sense that it would also be beneficial from the inside out, too, wouldn’t you say?
I’m such a fan that I shouted Vitamin E out in the article, “Here Are 12 Of The Supplements That Your Vagina Totally Needs.”
Peanut Butter Recipe: Homemade Peanut Butter (With Variations)
5. Kiwi
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Back when I penned the article, “Who Knew? 15 Foods You've Been Eating (Or Preparing) The "Wrong" Way.” for the site, one of the foods that I mentioned was kiwi. Basically, if you want to get the most out of it, you need to keep the skin on. If you do, you’ll be doing your body a world of good because kiwi boosts your collagen levels, contains magnesium (which makes your periods easier to handle), has depression-fighting properties, fiber, and vitamin C, and can help to lower your risk of having a stroke.
What will it do for your vagina exactly? Aside from the fact that the vitamin C in it can help to inhibit the bacteria that lead to vaginitis. Since kiwi is made up of 90 percent water, it’s a delicious way to avoid dehydration — from head to vagina to toe.
Kiwi Recipe: Kiwi Avocado Salsa Verde
6. Cucumber Juice
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It’s weird, but even though they don’t really taste like much of anything (cucumbers are made up of somewhere around 96 percent water which is probably why), I like snacking on cucumbers (especially with a bit of lime juice and some white pepper and salt). If you do as well, pat yourself on the back because they have protein, fiber, a ton of vitamin K, antioxidants, and other nutrients in them. And again, since there is so much water in cucumbers, you’re going to get a ton of hydration from such a low-calorie FRUIT (yep, you heard me right; cucumber is a fruit!).
Vaginally, when it comes to cucumbers, although you should ABSOLUTELY AVOID that “vaginal facial” mess that was all the rage several years back (you can read more about that here), some studies link vitamin K deficiency to a drop in estrogen. When that happens, it can definitely take a toll on vaginal lubrication, which is why munching on a cucumber or drinking a tall glass of fresh cucumber juice could be one of the best things to do as far as genital juiciness is concerned.
Cucumber Juice Recipe: Cucumber Juice
7. Mangoes
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I don’t know about y’all, but one of my favorite fruits of all time is the mango. Aside from the “stringiness,” the taste and texture are top-tier. Health-wise, the American Heart Association praises mango as being a “superhero of fruit” — and with good reason. Mangoes contain fiber, lots of vitamin C, protein, copper, folate, and lots of other nutrients. As far as health benefits go, it’s a fruit that is low in calories, fights diabetes, and is full of plant compounds that will keep free radicals from attacking your system while boosting your immunity at the same time.
Since there is also some vitamin A and E in this particular fruit, mango is another food that helps with vaginal dryness, especially since both nutrients are beneficial when it comes to treating vaginal atrophy (which can hinder natural lubrication).
Mango Recipe: Mango Kulfi
8. Fortified Orange Juice
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I actually find it interesting that just like the diamond ring started as a campaign for when De Beers was going broke (true story), the reason why orange juice is so much of a staple for breakfast is due to a similar reason. Apparently, a company by the name of Lord & Thomas used an ad back in the early 1900s to convince people that drinking OJ in the morning was a healthy way to start the day. Clearly, it worked because folks continue to rely on a glass of orange juice to give them a blood sugar rush (when they are low on energy), to strengthen their immunity (thanks to all of the vitamin C and antioxidants that it contains) and to get a good amount of vitamin D and calcium into their system.
Your vagina? The bottom line here is antioxidants, and organic acids help to keep bacteria out — the healthier your vaginal region is, the easier it is for lubrication to stay good and consistent. And why is it best that the juice be fortified? At the end of the day, that just means that it has extra nutrients in it, so try and look for orange juice that is fortified with vitamin D (it should say so on the label). Since we, as Black women, tend to be more deficient in that nutrient than other ethnicities, it’s a wise move all the way around.
Orange Juice Recipe(s): 25 Best Recipes with Orange Juice to Try Today
9. Eggs
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I don’t think it’s happenstance at all that right around the time that I’m about to (le sigh) PMS, I crave an omelet — or three. The high amounts of protein, B vitamins, and selenium (which help to keep female hormones in balance) all work with other nutrients in eggs to make them a world-class superfood. Eggs help to maintain eye health, lower your risk of heart disease and keep your cholesterol in a healthy state.
And yes, eggs are good for your vagina, especially as far as producing lubrication is concerned. Aside from selenium, which strives to make sure that an imbalance of hormones doesn’t “dry you out,” the B vitamins will boost your immune system as well as keep your nervous system from affecting how everything flows down below.
Eggs Recipe: Quick and Cheesy Omelet Roll-Up
10. DHEA
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Dehydroepiandrosterone's nickname is DHEA. To make a long story short, it’s a natural hormone that your adrenal gland produces. You need it because it helps to produce sex hormones like androgen and estrogen. If you take it in supplement form, it can help with things like obesity and depression, which is already pretty awesome; however, it makes this list because DHEA can also balance out your hormone levels so that vaginal atrophy (and erectile dysfunction in men) is less of an issue. And again, since dryness is typically a symptom of vaginal atrophy…well…there ya go.
11. Evening Primrose Oil
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Something that I am always and forever gonna sing the high praises of is evening primrose oil (check out “The 7 Supplements That TOTALLY Changed My Life”). Since taking it, it’s made PMS-related symptoms, random breakouts, and period-related breast discomfort so much less of an issue. Something else that’s cool about this particular supplement is there are studies to support that taking it on a regular basis can actually make it easier to get aroused and have orgasms — and since vaginal lubrication comes with being sexually stimulated…you definitely can’t miss by adding this oil into your diet. TRUST ME.
12. Black Cohosh
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If there is an herbal supplement that has a huge reputation for being beneficial in the realm of women’s health, black cohosh would be the one. Due to the fact that it also helps with balancing hormones, many sing its praises when it comes to treating menopause, helping with fertility issues, regulating menstrual cycles, and even decreasing the size of uterine fibroids (pretty impressive, right?).
And since it is respected as an all-natural alternative to menopause, if you’re going through that stage of life, black cohosh very well could make vaginal dryness and sexual discomfort altogether less of an issue that you will have to deal with.
13. Hyaluronic Acid
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How many times have you seen a skincare commercial that brought up hyaluronic acid? Believe it or not, it’s actually a substance that your system naturally produces — and here’s the thing: its main purpose is to keep your tissues nice and moist. So, you can already see why it’s featured in this article because whether you want supple skin, lubricated joints, or a wetter vagina, hyaluronic acid can make it happen for you. And although it has relatively no side effects, the main heads up on this one is if you’ve had cancer before or you currently do run it by your doctor. There are some studies that indicate that it can play a role in speeding up the growth of cancer cells if you’re not careful.
14. Less White Stuff
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White ain’t right. What I mean by that is carbs that have been overprocessed, like white flour, white rice, white pasta, and white bread, play a significant role in why obesity continues to be a very real issue and health risk in our country. A part of the reason is not only do those kinds of foods leave us NOT feeling full, but they also spike blood sugar levels. As far as your sex life goes, white foods can suppress your hormones which makes having a high libido (that can keep you wet) more challenging and your partner keeping a full erection more difficult as well.
15. Infused Water
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It’s somewhat of a disturbing reality that 75 percent of Americans are not only dehydrated but severely dehydrated — especially when you take into account that 60 percent of our bodies are made up of water. That’s why there was absolutely no way that I could pen a piece like this and not shout out the absolute importance (and relevance) of drinking plenty of water on a daily basis.
If you happen to be like me and find water to, as I say it, be like drinking “wet air” (BORING), make some infused water. The fruit and/or veggies that you put into it will not only add some flavor to liven things up, but you’ll also gain some extra nutrients from them too. That way, your system will be hydrated, and your vagina will be well lubricated. Drink up!
Infused Water Recipe(s): 23 Infused Water Ideas That Will Make You Forget About Soda
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Featured image by Chris Stein/Getty Images
- 8 Teas That Are Really Good For Your Vaginal Health ›
- 10 Ways To Have An "Extra Sweet" Vagina ›
- The Foods Your Vagina's Been Craving ›
- Here's How To Increase Vaginal Lubrication. Naturally. ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
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The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
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1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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