

Hmph. I was just telling a friend of mine last night that when it comes to periods, I don’t think that women get even one full week off from dealing with them. There’s the PMS week that comes before it. There’s the week that we’re on it. There’s the week that we’re recovering from it. There’s the week that we’re ovulating. DAMN.
And when you really sit and ponder the fact that a period is something that we have to deal with for several decades of our life — well, I don’t know about y’all but there is a conscious and constant pursuit on my part to find as many ways as possible to keep from totally losing it (due to being irritated by it) until my cycle passes.
Preferably, I like my remedies to be as natural as possible. If you’re on the same page, here are 10 all-natural things that you can do (that I can actually vouch for) that really can keep you sane whenever Aunt Flo (as grandma used to call her) comes to town.
1. Take Some Evening Primrose Oil
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If there’s one oil that I wished that I had gotten into my system a helluva lot sooner than I actually did, it’s evening primrose oil. Not only does it help to heal and prevent acne, ease up eczema-related symptoms and make skin super moist and supple from the inside out, but it’s also a beast when it comes to making PMS symptoms and cramping more endurable.
Thanks to the high amounts of the fatty acid gamma-linolenic acid (GLA), along with the vitamins B6 and E that’s in it, evening primrose oil helps to reduce bloating, minimize breast discomfort, alleviate headaches, and can help to make menstrual cramps less intense. As a bonus, it’s great for menopause-related symptoms like hot flashes, insomnia, and even hair loss.
The key is to not wait until your PMS symptoms arise to get into your body. If you want to see the best results, it’s best to take evening primrose oil all month long.
2. Put Some Fresh Roses in Your Room
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If there’s one time of the month when you certainly shouldn’t hesitate to pamper yourself, it’s when your period arrives. That’s why you should put a vase of fresh roses in your room (preferably red — no pun intended).
Aside from how the sight of them can help to calm you, did you know that the scent of roses is highly therapeutic too? Yep, aromatherapy is pretty powerful and there are studies to support the fact that taking in the scent of rose can actually help to reduce period pain. Dope.
3. Consume Less Foods…More Often
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The bigger the meal, the more energy it requires your body to break it all down in your system. Listen, your body is already taking quite a beating when you’re on your period, so give it a break by eating smaller meals. At the same time, try and consume smaller ones more often, so that you can get the fuel that you need to not just get through your cycle but function as normally as possible in the process too.
For the record, this doesn’t give you license to go to every drive-thru within a 10-mile radius of your house. Junk food can actually make your period worse. This brings me to the next point.
4. Eat Iron-Rich Foods (and Cook Them in a Cast Iron Skillet)
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Did you know that every time your period rolls around, you lose around 1 mg of iron? If you’re a heavy bleeder, it can be 5-6 times that much. That’s why it’s super essential that you consume iron-rich foods, in preparation for your cycle and while you’re on it. Dark leafy greens; red grape juice (the pure kind not the cocktail); dried fruit; lentils; oats; red meat; pumpkin seeds; quinoa; shellfish, and dark chocolate all fit the bill.
You know what else does? Cooking in a cast iron skillet. I own one and maybe it’s the Music City (i.e., southern) in me, but I don’t know anyone who takes cooking seriously who doesn’t. And just how does it help you to get iron into our system? Believe it or not, the iron in the skillet actually helps to transfer iron deposits into your food. Just one more solid reason to grocery shop before your period and why cooking more instead of eating out is best for you — all the way around.
5. Also, Consume More Anti-Inflammatory Foods
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Here’s something that makes a lot of sense (although I’m not sure how many of us actually give it as much thought as we should) — anti-inflammatory foods can help to make cycles easier as well. Long story short, prostaglandins mimic hormones. They are responsible for things like inflammation and uterine contractions. So, when you consume foods that fight against inflammation, that can make your menstrual cramps less severe. Foods that top the anti-inflammatory list include berries; salmon; green tea; peppers; grapes; tomatoes; olive oil; broccoli, and almonds.
6. Avoid Alcohol. Embrace Magnesium-Rich Smoothies.
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One more thing as far as your diet is concerned. To be frank, science is still doing quite a bit of research on whether or not alcohol should be an absolute no-no during your period. However, what we do know is alcohol dehydrates the system and dehydration undoubtedly makes cramps worse.
Aside from water and herbal teas, if you’re a fan of smoothies, this would be the time of the month to enjoy a few extra (preferably homemade) ones. Make sure they’re magnesium-rich while you’re at it. The reason why is that it’s a mineral that decreases the discomfort of cramps, increases blood flow, and helps you to sleep better.
Foods that are good sources of magnesium include bananas; spinach; avocados; yogurt; kiwi; raspberries; cantaloupe; papaya, and dark chocolate — all of which are beyond delicious when it comes to ingredients for smoothie recipes.
7. Rub Some Clove and Cinnamon Oils onto Your Abdomen
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Imma tell y’all what — if you ever have a toothache, get yourself some clove oil. It will knock that ish right on out! That’s thanks to its powerful anti-inflammatory properties that can also reduce puffiness, sagginess, and fine lines. Cinnamon oil is loaded with antioxidants and acts as an astringent which makes it an ideal ingredient for a DIY skin toner (just make sure to dilute both oils with water and/or a carrier oil because they are too strong to be applied alone).
Anyway, as far as periods go, the anti-inflammatories of the cloves and cinnamon are proven to reduce period-related discomfort when you apply a mixture of them directly to your abdominal region. If you blend 5-7 drops of each to one cup of olive oil (it’s an oil that also decreases period pain), warm it up and gently rub it in that area, you should feel relief within 30 minutes or less.
8. Take Naps
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According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a nap that lasts either between 15-30 minutes or 90 minutes (yep, that one…LOL) can help to reduce daytime fatigue, increase alertness and help you to be more productive (cat naps on lunch breaks anyone?). And you know what? All of this applies to you when you’re PMS’ing too. As a bonus, prioritizing naps during that time of the month can also help you to stay in a better mood — so don’t look at extra sleep when you’re PMS’ing and on your period as a luxury; science backs that it is absolutely a necessity.
9. Give Yourself a Lavender Foot Massage
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Something else that you shouldn’t sleep on (pun intended) is either getting a massage or giving your own self one during this time of the month. If you apply pressure to your inner ankle, it can ease pain just like massaging your abdomen area will. Not only that but a good 10-15 minute foot and ankle massage can help to increase blood circulation, release toxins and reduce your stress levels too.
If you really want to take things to another level, apply a blend of lavender oil to a carrier one like grapeseed or sweet almond oil, zap it in the microwave for about 10 seconds, and rub the oil on your feet as you’re massaging them. The scent of lavender provides a calming sensation. Plus, lavender oil helps to reduce anxiety, relieve depression and improve your quality of sleep.
10. Sleep in the Fetal Position
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Last one. A lot of us continue to sleep in the fetal position because when we were in our mother’s womb, we developed that way. If you’re not one of those individuals, you might want to consider trying to do so when you’re on your period. From what I’ve read and researched, it helps to reduce pressure in the abdominal area which makes cramps less intense.
The more you know, sis. The more you know.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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You Don’t Have To Choose: How Black Women Can Care For Others Without Self-Sacrifice
One of the primary instructions we receive before a flight takes off is to prioritize putting on your life vest first if there’s an emergency, even before assisting others. It’s funny how this rule rarely translates to the daily routine of women.
As women we are taught, directly and indirectly, to put others first. Whether it’s our romantic partners, kids, parents, friends, or even our jobs. Mental health survivor and founder of Sista Afya Community Care, Camesha Jones-Brandon is challenging that narrative by using her platform to advocate for Black women and their right to self-care.
Camesha created the organization after her struggles with mental health and the lack of community she experienced. The Chicago native explains how she created Sista Afya to be rooted in “culturally grounded care.”
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“So at my organization, Sista Afya Community Care, we focus on providing mental health care through a cultural and gender lens,” she tells xoNecole. “So when we think about the term intersectionality, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, we think about the multiple identities that lead to certain experiences and outcomes as it relates to Black women.
“So in the context of culturally grounded care, being aware of the cultural history, the cultural values, and then also the current issues that impact mental health outcomes.”
Words like “strong” and “independent” have long been associated with Black women for some time and many of us have begun to embrace the soft life and are using rest as a form of resistance. However, some of us still struggle with putting ourselves first and overall shedding the tainted image of the “strong, Black woman” that had been forced on us.
Camesha shares that while there’s more and more communities being created around empowerment and shared interests like running, she still questions, “are Black women really comfortable with being vulnerable about sharing their experiences?”
Being vulnerable with ourselves and others play an important role in healing the instinctive nature of always being “on” for everyone. “I'm currently facilitating a group on high functioning depression, and yesterday, we talked about how when Black women may be struggling or have shared their concerns with other people. They may be minimized, or they're told to just be strong, or it's not so bad, or I went through something worse back in Jim Crow era, so you should be thankful,” she explains.
“So I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people. So that is probably a very common theme. I think we've made a lot of progress when we talk about the superwoman syndrome, the mammy stereotype, the working hard stereotype, the nurturing stereotype. I think we're beginning to unpack those things, but I still see that we have definitely a long way to go in that area.”
I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people.
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While we’re unpacking those things, we know that we’re still women at the end of the day. So as we continue to serve in various roles like mothers, daughters, sisters, and caretakers, we have to make caring for ourselves a priority. Camesha reveals four ways we can still care for others without abandoning ourselves.
Trust
First things first, trust. Camesha explains, “Some of the burdens that Black women have can be linked to not feeling like you can trust people to carry the load with you.
“It's hard because people experience trauma or being let down or different experiences, but one of the things that I found personally is the more that I'm able to practice trust, the more I'm able to get my needs met. Then, to also show up as my best to care for other Black women.”
Know Your Limitations
Another thing Camesha highlighted is Black women knowing their limitations. “The other thing that I would like to bring up in terms of a way to care for yourself is to really know your limitations, or know how much you can give and what you need to receive,” she says.
“So often, what I see with Black women is giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to the point that you're not feeling well, and then not receiving what you need in return to be able to feel well and whole individually. So I really think it's important to know your limitations and know your capacity and to identify what it is that you need to be well.”
Don’t Take On A Lot Of Responsibilities
Next on the list is not taking on so many responsibilities, sharing herself as an example. “The other thing is taking on too much responsibility, especially in a time of vulnerability.
“One thing that I personally struggled with was being so passionate about community mental health for Black women, and saying yes to everything and taking on so much responsibility,” she reveals. “That affected me to do well in serving Black women and then also impacting my own well being.”
Practice Self-Care
Lastly, she notes the importance of practicing self-care. “The last thing is really practicing regular self care, regular community care, so that it's embedded into your daily life. So for me, having prepared meals, going to the gym, getting eight hours of sleep, spending time with friends and family, all of those things are part of my self care that keep me at my best,” she explains.
“Then community care, leaning into social networks or social groups, or spending time with other interests or hobbies. That's a part of my community care that keeps me going, so that I can take care of my needs, but also to be able to show up best in care for others.”
Find out more about Camesha and Sista Afya Community Care at communitycare.sistaafya.com.
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