So, Here Are The Carrier Oils That Will Take Your Sex Life To A Whole 'Nother Level
I already know. Some of y’all read the title of this piece and already decided that you’re gonna just go ahead and skip it. Yet, hear me out — if you’ve made it even this far, I’m gonna ask that you don’t. While on the surface, carrier oils may seem like a bit of a ho-hum topic, I’m confident that by the end of this, you’ll see them in a completely different light.
Why? Because although the basic definition of carrier oils is they are oils that are derived from plants that are used to dilute essential oils so that your skin is better able to absorb them (yawn), this actually means that they can do a helluva lot for you — including in the bedroom department.
Behold, the sexual benefits of 12 different carrier oils. Ready?
1. Coconut Oil for Lube
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Coconut oil is made up of mostly fatty acids. This is great to know because they help to hydrate your skin, serve as a skin barrier (to protect it from environmental elements), and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
What makes it bomb when it comes to sexual activity is it can serve as a great all-natural lubricant (so long as you don’t use latex condoms; oil can break down their effectiveness); especially if you’re experiencing vaginal dryness or you tend to experience more friction during intercourse and you’re looking for an oil that can provide some much-needed relief.
2. Carrot Seed Oil for Better Sperm Count & Quality
If you like earthy and woodsy scents, you might like carrot seed oil. A cool thing about this oil is it contains antibacterial, antifungal, anti-inflammatory, and antioxidant properties which makes it awesome at fighting and even helping to prevent fungal and bacterial growth. It’s also a great skin exfoliant if you’re looking for a gentle way to remove dead skin cells and even out your skin tone.
Since carrot seed oil is also rich in antioxidants, beta-carotene, and vitamin E, men can benefit from this oil because it helps prevent sperm damage and even increases a man’s sperm count over time. Since it can also help to reduce stress, applying it and/or diffusing it can actually increase your chances of having an orgasm — or more intense ones.
3. Neem Oil for Spermicide
Another name for neem oil is margosa oil. Interestingly enough, it’s most popular for being a natural kind of pesticide although the fatty acids, vitamin E, and calcium in it make it good for the skin too. In fact, if you’re looking for an oil that will naturally help boost collagen production in your skin, look no further.
So, what makes neem oil great when it comes to what we’re talking about today? Some science-based reports from homeopaths say that it’s quite effective when acting as an all-natural spermicidal agent. Yep — you can put some of it into your va-jay-jay and it will help to prevent pregnancy.
Now, you should probably do some additional digging on your own when it comes to this one and definitely discuss it with your physician. But the ever-evolving data is pretty solid if you’re someone who’s not yet ready for a baby, but you don’t want to put any birth control that’s full of hormones into your system either.
4. Sweet Almond Oil for Lube & Yeast Infections
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Hands down, two of my favorite oils for my face are rosemary oil and sweet almond oil. I’m so into both of them that it’s rare that I won’t turn in without washing my face with some sulfur soap (it’s great for acne and keeping my complexion even) and then applying a thin layer of one of these oils afterward.
As far as sweet almond oil goes, specifically, the fatty acids in it help your skin to retain moisture, the vitamin E helps to protect your skin from UV damage and the vitamin A is awesome at fighting acne.
Sweet almond oil can benefit your sex life because it’s also a solid lubricant for unprotected sex and it contains properties that can help to fight a yeast infection if you’re someone who is prone to it due to condoms or experiencing a new partner.
5. Jojoba Oil for Lube
There are fatty acids galore in jojoba oil. If you add to that the fact that it’s a good source of vitamins B-complex and E along with anti-inflammatory properties, you definitely need this in your arsenal if you want to get or keep clear skin or you’re looking for an all-natural way to soothe the symptoms that are associated with eczema or psoriasis.
Sexually, if you want to use something with no chemicals in it that will make anal action easier, this oil tops the list. The slip is pretty amazing and it’s fairly long-lasting. Just remember that again, as with all oils, latex condoms aren’t a reliable complement. On the other hand, polyurethane and nitrile condoms typically are.
6. Vitamin E Oil for Stronger Erections & Libidos
If there was any oil on this list that you probably knew was a lifesaver when it comes to skincare, this was probably the one. It helps your skin to retain moisture. It protects your skin from cellular damage. It speeds up the healing of scars. It reduces skin itchiness. It makes eczema and psoriasis easier to deal with. The list goes on and on.
And why is it so bomb as far as sex is concerned? For men, it helps to increase blood flow to their penis so that their erections are stronger (although it must be consumed in moderation; some studies say that super high doses over a long period of time can increase a man’s risk of being diagnosed with prostate cancer). For men and women, it’s also a powerful antioxidant that helps to boost the libido.
7. Hemp Seed Oil for Reduced Stress & Enhanced Sexual Pleasure
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When you press hemp seeds, (seeds that come from the cannabis plant) what you’re going to get is hemp seed oil. An important thing that it contains is Gamma-linoleic acid (GLA); it’s great at reducing inflammation. That component is so effective that it’s not uncommon for professional skincare experts to recommend this particular oil for acne, psoriasis, eczema, and atopic dermatitis.
And honestly, if you don’t invest in any other carrier oil for sexual purposes, you can’t go wrong with making this your choice. It reduces stress. It puts you in a better mood. It can even help to enhance the pleasure of physical touch. By the way, when it comes to increasing vaginal sensations, a hemp oil worth checking out is Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD. It ain’t cheap yet word on the street is that it’s pretty damn effective.
8. Rosehip Seed Oil for Tighter Vulvar Skin
Rosehips literally come from the fruit of the rosebush. They are filled with vitamins A, C, and F as well as antioxidants and fatty acids. One of the reasons why we as Black women should take special note of it is it contains properties that help to get rid of hyperpigmentation. It can also help to firm up the skin which makes it an ideal oil for sagging skin after childbirth and/or breastfeeding.
You know what this means, right? Rosehip seed oil can also help to tighten up your vulvar skin if you sense that it is aging too. Plus, the lycopene and beta-carotene that it contains will lighten up your vulvar skin (if you wish) and its potent anti-inflammatory properties can help to soothe your vagina if you and yours really got it in one night.
9. Grapeseed Oil for DIY Massage Oil
Grapeseed oil is literally what it sounds like. It’s an oil that is derived from pressed grapes and is high in vitamin E and antioxidants. I personally use it for my hair because it’s a light oil that seals my ends and soothes my scalp. However, it’s also great when it comes to increasing skin elasticity, protecting skin from sun damage and even helping to heal acne and acne marks (in part because it works to even out your skin tone).
Because it is so good for the skin, use it as a base for a sexy DIY massage oil (it’s totally tasteless if you want to use it as an ingredient for an edible oil, by the way). Although, it should go on record that because it dries rather quickly, you might not want to rely on it as a vaginal lubricant…unless you want to keep applying it.
10. Wheat Germ Oil for PMS Relief
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Another kind of oil that’s packed with vitamin E is wheat germ oil. Not only does it encourage skin cell formation, but it also softens the appearance of scars and stretch marks and deeply hydrates your skin as it promotes greater flexibility which can help to keep you looking younger longer.
The vitamins B6 and E along with zinc and magnesium all play a role in helping to lessen the symptoms that are associated with PMS (premenstrual syndrome) as well as balancing out sex-based hormones. Since period sex is something that can actually help to bring relief to PMS and period-related symptoms, adding wheat germ oil to your diet could prove to be beneficial in a myriad of ways.
11. Evening Primrose Oil for Balanced Progesterone & Estrogen Levels
I’m a huge fan of evening primrose oil for a ton of reasons. One is because it’s great at keeping my skin clear and preventing those damn period pimples that I can’t seem to avoid. It’s able to do this because the properties in the oil help to improve your skin’s elasticity and texture while also making it feel more supple. This particular oil also has anti-inflammatory benefits which are what make it an all-natural way to treat acne.
As far as your sex life goes, evening primrose oil not only helps to balance out your progesterone and estrogen levels (the more balanced they are, the easier it is for you to enjoy sex), but it helps to increase your dopamine (which helps you to feel good) while also expanding your blood vessels; the more blood that flows, the easier it is to orgasm.
12. Pomegranate Seed Oil for Longer Erections & PCOS Relief
Whenever Rosh Hashanah (the new year that I personally observe) rolls around, something that I make sure to do is cop a few pomegranates (because that’s when they’re in season, plus, they are a symbolic fruit for that time of the year). Not only do they symbolize things like righteousness, fertility, beauty, power, and eternal life, but they also are loaded with antioxidants, antimicrobial properties, and other nutrients.
Skin-wise, pomegranate seed oil offers big boosts of collagen and elasticity while also unclogging pores and reversing the signs of skin damage.
Sex-wise, it rounds out the list of must-have carrier oils because it helps to give men a testosterone boost and longer erections as it helps both men and women to get — and stay — in better moods. As a serious bonus, there are several studies linked to its ability to bring relief to PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).
See…I told y’all that carrier oils were their own lil’ aphrodisiacs. So, the next time you’re at the grocery store or a health food store (even better), treat yourself, your partner, and your sex life to a few bottles — and watch your sex life improve and intensify in ways you never imagined!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your Guide To Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You Based On Astrology
Letting go is a gift we are given and a strength that we find throughout our lives. There are times when we want to grab ahold of what we are experiencing and sensing, and times when we need to let go of something that was once everything to us or what we wanted for ourselves. The moment you conclude that you need to let something go in your life is the moment that your brain fights to make that happen for you.
In Astrology, there is an area of your birth chart that is designed for you to understand where you will be letting go a lot in this lifetime, and exactly how to do so. We dive through the birth chart as we seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and let go of what no longer serves us, and there are tools available to help us do so. If you don't know where your South Node is in your birth chart, you can use a free calculator like this one here.
What Does Your South Node Represent in Astrology?
When it comes to what we are destined to let go of or move away from in this lifetime, we look to the South Node. The South Node is the area of your birth chart that has to do with your past lives, karma, lessons, old habits and traits, gifts, and energy you are moving away from in this lifetime.
Your South Node is opposite your North Node, which is your destiny and the energy you want to move towards.
We can learn a lot from our South Node and it’s an area of our life where we tend to gain the most wisdom. By understanding why some patterns in your life tend to play out in the same ways, you can be more conscious of the choices you make in the now and let go of who and what doesn’t serve you in the process.
South Node Insights: Letting Go
The South Node is our natural gifts and talents, but also where we don’t need to focus so much of our energy on, taking us away from where we need to be developing, which is the North Node. So when you are looking to let go of something, gain a new perspective, or feel more trusting in what you are doing right now, you can examine your South Node.
We learn from our South Node by not making the same mistakes over again, letting go of what needs to be let go of, and understanding what we need in order to create space for our new beginning.
Read below for your South Node on how to let go of what no longer serves you.
Aries South Node: Letting Go of Independence for Connection
You are used to being independent and figuring things out on your own. In this lifetime, however, you are being asked to lean on others for support when you need it. You are working on letting go of the ego and focusing more on the heart. By extending your compassion for others, you discover a part of yourself that leads you toward empowerment and allows you to let go of a false sense of safety.
You are meant to experience harmonious, fortunate, and compatible love in this lifetime, and you will do so by opening your heart to others and letting go of people who don’t support you or whom you can’t count on.
Taurus South Node: Releasing Overdependence and Superficiality
With your South Node in Taurus, you are letting go of the need to acquire by focusing on the depth and intention of what you are obtaining. Your relationships tend to have a lot to do with your financial world, and these things can get twisted and distorted if you are not being careful.
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of what doesn’t serve you by following your heart and your intuition more and focusing more on the feeling you want for yourself rather than the things themselves. You are also working on letting go of overdependence or superficiality in relationships, by connecting with the people whom you have a deep and spiritual bond with.
Gemini South Node: Finding Freedom in Authenticity
For you, letting go means following your freedom. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime, and the less you can focus on how you are going to be perceived, the more you can live the life of your dreams. With a South Node in Gemini, you are moving away from the commotion of life. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is traveling, getting out of your comfort zone, and being in new environments.
In past lives, you may have given too much of your focus on your social successes and business pursuits, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on the bigger picture. What helps you let go is understanding that once you do, better is available to you.
Cancer South Node: Trusting Yourself Beyond Emotional Impulses
With a South Node in Cancer, you are learning to trust yourself and your logic more than your emotional world in this lifetime. By letting go of feeling like you have to be the one to nurture and support everyone and allowing people to do that for you, you lead your destiny.
With your South Node in Cancer, you are letting go of emotional impulsiveness or making decisions irrationally before you have thought about them.
In past lives, you were led by your emotional world, and in this lifetime, you are meant to think more about your long-term goals and intentions. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is knowing that you are more than what you can give to others.
Leo South Node: Prioritizing Community Over Recognition
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of the need to be seen and recognized and focus more on your need for community and soul companionship. You are moving away from the “I” and moving closer to the “We.” What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is giving your focus to humanity, the progress you want to make in this lifetime, and who you want to make it with.
You are learning how to work with others and let go of the need to figure everything out yourself. The more you connect with the people who make you want to team up and form a relationship, rather than the people who make you want to be alone, the better for you.
Virgo South Node: Embracing Compassion Over Perfection
In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to do everything yourself and to have everything all together. You can let go of what no longer serves you by thinking more with your heart than you do with your mind and by trusting this gift of yours. By focusing more on your spirituality, emotional connections, and creativity, you let go of a timid side of you that can disrupt your relationships or the bonds you make.
In past lifetimes, you were focused on perfection. In this lifetime, you are meant to focus on compassion. By surrendering more to the flow of things, you can let go of what no longer serves you while remaining open for what does.
Libra South Node: Rediscovering Your Independence
With your South Node in Libra, you are meant to experience the gifts of independence, freedom, and inner clarity in this lifetime. In the past, you may have been more dependent on the people around you and made a lot of your focus on love. However, in this lifetime, you are being reminded to not lose your identity in others. You can let go of what no longer serves you by only moving towards the things that feel authentic to you.
You are meant to feel confident, inspired, and free in your relationships, and if you don’t feel this way, then that is a sign you are around energy that doesn’t serve you. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime.
Scorpio South Node: Letting Go of Struggles and Embracing Ease
With your South Node in Scorpio, you have lived many lives and have experienced a lot emotionally. In this lifetime, you are learning how to trust the process more and to understand that not everything has to be difficult or trying for you. You can experience great things with ease, and you’ll know you are in the right place when things are just falling into your lap.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is focusing more on the things and people who make you feel safe, stable, and comfortable. Instead of always seeking the rush or the thrill, bring your attention more towards the things that ground you.
Sagittarius South Node: Building Connection Through Learning
Your South Node in Sagittarius urges you towards connection with your community and your immediate environment. In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to be everywhere at once, rather than with the people who matter most to you. You are moving away from knowing everything and into learning everything.
By looking at life as a place where you will learn, grow, and connect, you can let go of the things that stretch you too thin or don’t serve your heart.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is expressing yourself more, meeting new people, and spending time on a cause or creative project that inspires you.
Capricorn South Node: Choosing Home and Foundations Over Status
In this lifetime, you are meant to put more value and effort into your personal life, home, family, and foundations in life. In past lifetimes, a lot of your focus was on your reputation, achievements, and successes, and in this lifetime, you are meant to bring your energy more to the home base, family, and stability in life.
You will know if something is right for you if you want it because it makes you feel safe and nurtured, rather than just something that looks pleasing to the eye. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is by focusing more on your personal life rather than your public, and what you truly see for yourself here.
Aquarius South Node: Shining in Your Individuality
With an Aquarius South Node, you are meant to shine, be seen, and express yourself in this lifetime. You are letting go of the lone wolf energy you are used to, and working on taking up space. You are able to let go of what no longer serves you by being confident in yourself and the decisions you are making.
If someone doesn’t make you feel like the best thing in the entire world, then they aren’t right for you. In past lifetimes, you gave a lot of your energy to your community and the people around you, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on yourself and your path more. It’s all about doing what makes you feel good and trusting that you deserve to.
Pisces South Node: Honoring Logic While Embracing Intuition
Your lesson in this lifetime is that your mind is your gift. In past lives, you were very intuitive, psychic, and spiritual, and in this lifetime, you are learning to trust and honor the logical part of yourself more. You may tend to put your all into your relationships and not get the same energy back, and you are working on taking care of yourself first before you can give to another.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is trusting your body and the signals it gives you when you are around certain people or energy that doesn’t serve. Get organized, figure out your needs, boundaries, and wants, and get clear on who you are and what you want for yourself.
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T-Boz & Daughter Chase Rolison On Their Mother-Daughter Dynamic & Giving Back To The LA Fire Department
Tionne "T-Boz" Wakins and her daughter Chase Rolison are your typical mother-daughter duo. They tell each other how it is, joke with one another, and, of course, support each other.
During our exclusive xoNecole interview, T-Boz, who shares her daughter with rapper Mack 10, reveals how Chase would help dress her for performances and do her and her TLC bandmate Chilli's makeup. Now, it's the Grammy award-winner's turn to support her daughter.
This Sunday, Chase is hosting a pop-up shop in Los Angeles for her new venture, Anela's Vintage, an online vintage fashion boutique. The proceeds will benefit the LA Fire Department, which has been working tirelessly to put out the wildfires ravaging the city.
Chase is an LA resident who wanted to use her platform to give back to firefighters in a big way. "I don't think that firefighters are paid anywhere near enough for what they do because I know I couldn't do something like that. I wouldn't even know where to start," Chase tells us.
"I admire them and how brave they are to even do the job that they do. And then also, LA just needs a better system in place to prevent things like this [from] happening, obviously. So it was just important to me, and I'm thankful that I have the platform to do so. So it was just important to me to give back in any way that I could and make a positive out of this really negative situation."
Anela's Vintage (Anela is Chase's middle name) is a vintage store that was influenced by the iconic Y2K era. While anyone can shop on the site, it's also a go-to spot for stylists who want to pull items for video shoots, award shows, and more.
The boutique is also a full-circle moment as T-Boz once had a children's fashion boutique named after Chase. The "No Scrubs" singer opens up about how proud she is of her daughter using her talents in a positive way.
"I think giving back to the fires is amazing because a lot of things that I do, I usually incorporate sickle cell," says T-Boz. "So the fact that she's giving back and it's coming through something that people love to do anyway, which is shop, you can't get better than that. And then you're helping people in the process, that's the perfect kind of event to me."
Since Chase followed in her mother's footsteps by getting into fashion, can we expect the same with music? "I mean, I can sing, but it's not the path I really chose," Chase says.
"Music is a huge part of my life. I love music a lot, and I'm honestly really good at things involving music. I don't know why I've never chose to do it as a career, to be honest, but at this very moment, no."
If Chase ever gets into music, T-Boz thinks she would make a great A&R executive because she has a good ear for music. When it comes to their mother-daughter dynamic, the "Girl Talk" artist jokingly says that Chase thinks she's the mother in their relationship and always tells her what to do. However, she admits that she has helped her embrace saying no to people who ask to borrow money.
Tron Austin, Rozonda Thomas, Chase Anela Rolison, and Tionne Watkins attend the CrazySexyCool Premiere Event at AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13 theater on October 15, 2013 in New York City.
Photo by Brad Barket/Getty Images for VH1
"I'm sucker free Sunday in the department of when people are sick, or say they sick, some of them be lying," T-Boz says. "But, you know, like, I have a soft spot there--"So I have said no all last year, at the end of the year, and all this year, even though we're in the beginning, I still said no."
The multi-platinum artist reveals she recently moved to Tennessee and is looking forward to writing with country artists. She also wants to get into producing films and is currently working on a TLC Broadway play. "It's not going to be typical, like behind the music and all that. It'll be more like the strength and triumph of three females and probably through the islands of the lyrics of our songs, if that makes sense," T-Boz explains.
"So I think it'll be done differently. It's time consuming. This is the third year we've been working on it, but it actually will hit Broadway next year, and I'm nervous about that. Like, she gets nervous. I get nervous."
The next steps for Chase include growing Anela Vintage and having a storefront. The pop-up shop will be held Sunday, January 26th, at 2520 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, CA, from 3- 9 PM.
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Feature images by David Livingston/Getty Images, @chaserolison/ Instagram