It's almost like I can hear some of y'all coming right through the computer screen. "Shellie, I'm over here trying to make sure that I have an orgasm on the regular and here you come, talking about some multiple ones?" Yep. That's exactly what I'm doing because one, life is short and two, the only thing better than climaxing is climaxing as much as possible. Besides, having more than one orgasm really isn't as semi-impossible of a feat as it might seem. The main two things to keep in mind is 1) typically multiple orgasms are a string of weaker ones that come close together and 2) there are "hacks" that can definitely help you to make this all happen.
So, if tonight is the night that you want to take your sexual experience to another level, check these 9 hacks out, forward them on to your partner, and then get ready to become the woman who can say that you've successfully experienced each phase of an orgasm—excitement, plateau, orgasm, resolution—not just once but several times in one sex sitting. Ready?
1. Become an Edging Master
OK, here's a reading hack to keep in mind. If you want to know if an article on orgasms is worth your time, skim it real quick to see if edging is mentioned at all. The reason why is because, if you want to have an orgasm, intensify your orgasm or increase your chances of experiencing a multiple orgasm, the act of edging has to be factored into the equation.
If you're not familiar with what edging is, it's basically sexually stimulating yourself and/or your partner, to the point of climaxing—but then stopping before it actually happens. While edging can be achieved in a myriad of different ways, arousal via touching erogenous zones and/or oral sex are ideal. Just remember that this particular tip isn't about achieving an orgasm, let alone a multiple one; it's about getting you right to the brink, then pulling back, so that once you are ready to "go", it will be truly mind-blowing—and so much easier for you to repeat the action over and over again.
2. Learn As Much About Your Refractory Period As You Can
When it comes to orgasms, there's something known as the sexual response cycle. I pretty much touched on it in the intro. It's the cycle that includes the phases of excitement (or desire), plateau (or arousal), orgasm (or climax) and then resolution. Excitement is when you start to get sexually stimulated in the sense that your heart rate increases, your nipples become erect and your vagina increases with lubrication. Plateau is when blood flow increases to your genitalia, your clitoris becomes really sensitive and the muscles within your pelvis start to tense up. Orgasm is when your blood pressure and heart rate are at their highest (in the sexual cycle), the muscles in your pelvis begin to contract and you start to feel warm all over your body. Resolution is when your body starts to come down off of this "high" and you begin to feel more like "normal" again.
Now your refractory period is the time between resolution and excitement. That said, one of the main "hacks" to experiencing a multiple orgasm is learning what your refractory period actually is. For some women, it's literally a few seconds while, for others, it may take several minutes. Yet if you are intentional about not taking more than a 60-90 seconds to "calm down" from all of the sensitivity you may feel before being open to getting sexually stimulated all over again, there is a really good chance that you can experience orgasms back-to-back.
3. Appeal to ALL Senses (Simultaneously If You Can)
Back when I wrote the article, "Ever Wonder What The Sounds You Make During Sex Mean?", a part of the purpose was to remind us all that a great sex session should include all five of our senses being fully and thoroughly stimulated—sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste. Since I just broke down the importance of knowing what transpires during your refractory period, something that can help you to get back into the phases of an orgasm quicker is if some of your senses continue to be stimulated while you are in the phase of resolution.
For instance, if after you cum, consider having your partner talk dirty to you (hearing) or offer to give you a massage with a DIY aphrodisiac massage oil like sandalwood or jasmine (smell). Definitely, a mistake that people make, in the effort of having more intense or multiple orgasms is, after the first orgasm is achieved, they stop all activity altogether. While being super sensitive right after you cum is perfectly natural, remember that touch isn't the only sense you've got. Your partner doing a little strip tease (sight) or the two of you feeding each other some chocolate-covered strawberries (taste) can still keep you plenty interested—and get you to the first phase of an orgasm all over again: excitement.
4. Bring Weed into the Equation
One of the main reasons why a lot of us—and by "us", I mean women—have trouble climaxing us because—surprise, surprise—we tend to overthink it. Whether it's a doctor, a sex therapist or even your bestie who hangs off of chandeliers on the regular, something that all of them can agree on is a tensing up only makes getting to the Big O that much more difficult to reach. If you know this in theory but you still struggle with finding ways to relax either before or during sex, something that can help you out is weed. I actually wrote an article not too long ago for the platform that explains that weed can do things like make you feel less anxious and reduce feelings of discomfort. And, if you bring some weed lubricant into the equation, that can make stimulation even more intense and orgasms—including multiple orgasms—so much easier to have. (Check out "7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better" and "Why Cannabis Lube Is The Best Thing To Get Yourself For V-Day" for more info.)
5. Create a Safe Word
Listen, if there's one thing that you cannot be—if you want to experience as many orgasms as possible, that is—is inhibited. In other words, you're gonna have to chill out, completely let go and be open to trying some new things. So, in the effort to join the "multiple orgasms club", the next time you have sex, let your partner know that you're pretty much down for whatever; except with one caveat. You've got to be able to incorporate a safe word—like a color or something that is easy to remember—so that if something becomes uncomfortable or even painful, you can immediately alert your partner without the two of you needing to stop sex completely.
6. Get into Two Classic Sex Positions
It wouldn't be a thorough article on how to achieve multiple orgasms if I didn't share, at least a couple of positions that can help you to reach your goal. Remember that a key to experiencing orgasms, one right after the other, is to get into a place where you can close-to-guarantee that you will climax at all. Two sex positions that can get you pretty damn close to this goal is the reverse cowgirl and doggy style.
As far as the reverse cowgirl, the key is to straddle one of your partner's legs instead of both. That way, you can get more deeply penetrated while better controlling the movement of your own pelvis. As far as doggy style goes, doing a modification of it by laying on your stomach instead of being on your knees can make it easier for either your hands or his to stimulate your clitoris during intercourse. When you're able to maneuver more easily, you can apply as much pressure as you need to cum, then wait, and then cum all over again.
7. Stimulate More than One Erogenous Zone
When it comes to experiencing orgasms back-to-back, something that isn't brought up, nearly enough in my opinion, is the fact that focusing on achieving orgasms in multiple places should also be explored far more often. What do I mean by that?
Orgasms are able to happen in more than just our vaginal area. Some women are able to achieve nipplegasms or even be brought to the brink of an orgasm, simply by having their favorite erogenous zones touched. That's why it should never be ignored that another way to have an orgasm is by achieving one via the stimulation of your genitalia and then having a hot spot like your neck, ears, navel, inner thighs or even your lips caressed or kissed during your refractory period in order to get right back to the plateau and then orgasm mountaintop all over again.
8. Breathe Deeply
Something else that plays a direct role on how intensely and often you are able to climax is how deeply you breathe. As I've already shared, orgasms are a series of muscle contractions in your pelvic region. So, while that part of your body tenses up, breathing slowly and deeply helps to relax you and create a powerful sensation as you reach your peak. As far as what you need to do specifically in the breathing department, I actually found a cool article on The Sex Ed site that explains everything very well. Read "Orgasmic Breathing" and share it with your friends. They'll owe you. Trust me.
9. RELAXscared cookie lyon GIF by Empire FOX Giphy
It truly can't be said enough—in order to have multiple orgasms, you're gonna need to freakin' relax. This includes fully trusting your partner. This includes not being shy about your body. This also means not going into your next sexual experience with multiple orgasms being your "aim" so much as it's something that you're completely open to doing. If all three of these things come into play and you literally sit back and enjoy the ride—you might surprise your own self when it comes to how easily you can experience multiple orgasms. Have lots and loads of fun...over and over and over again, sis.
Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.
Featured image by GIFS