

This is a women's lifestyle site. This means that, automatically, we are Team Vagina. But since all of us got here with the help of a penis and many of us enjoy the company and pleasure of them as adults, I thought it would only be fair (and necessary) that since I wrote "15 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Own Vagina" that I circle back around and share some interesting facts about men's genitalia too.
Something tells me that if you take five or so minutes to, at least skim this, there will be a couple of times when your eyes get big. Shoot, I write about sex for a living and about four of these points tripped me right on out. Are you ready for a little bit of semi-NSFW reading that will make you well-versed in the lane of male genitalia?
1. Baby Boys Have Erections Within the Womb
I've got an ex who used to get erections whenever he ate something that he really liked. It was the first time when I saw actual proof that men can get hard for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with sex. Another solid example? Baby boys are able to get erections while they are developing in their mother's womb (check out "It Starts in the Womb: Helping Parents Understand Infant Sexuality"). Oh, and speaking of development, a man's penis officially stops growing once he hits his early 20s.
2. There Are “Growers” and Then There Are “Showers”
Here's a great PSA for why you should never assume that grey sweatpants are telling you all that you need to know about a guy's genitalia. The reality is that some men are "growers" while others are "showers". What's the difference?
A shower is someone whose penis is basically the same size whether he is flaccid or erect while a grower is someone whose penis grows significantly in size whenever he experiences an erection. Factors like tissue elasticity, collagen and a man's overall health can determine what category he falls into.
Also, interestingly enough, it's not uncommon for some fellas to start off in one category and then move over into another as he ages. One more thing. Whatever is visible to the naked eye is only half of what a man has goin' on. The other part of his penis is housed inside of his body.
3. Smoking Can Shorten a Man’s Penis
If you're currently with a smoker, here's another motivation for him to quit. Something that smoking does is restrict blood flow to his penis. When that happens, it can prevent him from getting—or maintaining—a maximum erection; this, in turn, can result in a smaller penis. How small? Only about a centimeter. But still, since smoking is unhealthy anyway, why not convince him to get that centimeter back by stopping?
4. Erectile Dysfunction Is Not Nearly As Common As Erectile Dissatisfaction
When a man struggles with getting or maintaining an erection, the proper term for it is erectile dysfunction. While it affects approximately 30 million American men, something that I found to be fascinating is the fact that a far greater culprit is erectile dissatisfaction. No, it's not when a man is no longer interested in his partner. Erectile dissatisfaction is what happens when, as a man ages, he starts to compare his younger sexual self to his current way of being. This tends to happen to many men when they are between the ages of 40-50. Oftentimes, it's because it takes them a longer time to become erect in between sexual escapades. The remedies? Less stress and more patience from their partner are a great place to start.
5. Going by a Man’s Shoe Size Is a Total Myth
Unfortunately, I still hear people reference this myth enough to where it has to be mentioned. The size of a man's shoe has NOTHING to do with the size of his member. Matter of fact, one of my past partners had a huge foot and one of the smallest penises that I had ever been with. On the flip side, according to theInternational Journal of Impotence Research, a man's age, height and index finger length does have something to do with how much is going on down below. But still, you really won't know until…you know.
6. Semen Is a Low-Calorie “Snack”
I say it often because it's true. Sperm (the cells that actually fertilize eggs) and semen (the fluid that carries the cells) are like the ultimate multi-vitamin (check out "Do You Swallow? The Unexpected Health Benefits Of Sperm" to learn why). If you are a partaker and any part of you is curious as to how many calories you're taking in whenever you throw a shot back, you're getting somewhere between 5-25 calories. At least that's what the word on Google street says.
7. The Average Man Has Many Erections a Day
How many erections do most men have on a daily basis? The average clocks somewhere around 11 with 3-5 of them happening at night. How long do nighttime erections last? Usually somewhere between 25-35 minutes.
So, if your man happens to be all about tapping your shoulder in the middle of the night or being totally down for morning sex, this is probably why.
8. Ejaculate Moves Pretty Fast
Ever wonder how fast ejaculate comes out? It's not slow, by any means. While it does kind of vary per guy, the average is somewhere around 28 miles per hour. When you think about how that's double the amount of a lot of school zones, it reminds us why Samantha (from Sex & the City) once said, "They don't call [a blow job] a job for nothin'."
9. Some Men Can Climax Without Erections
Never assume that just because a man doesn't ejaculate during sex that he didn't have a really good time. When a guy climaxes without releasing any semen, it's called a dry orgasm. Matter of fact, it's not uncommon for guys to "reach the peak" without ever having an orgasm at all.
10. Broken Penises Are A Real Thing
A man who says his penis is "broke" is someone who is basically expressing that the blood vessels that are inside of his penis ended up bursting which resulted in some pretty painful swelling. And what causes a broken penis (or penile fracture) to happen most often? Rigorous masturbation, his partner being on top (and moving too vigorously at an awkward angle) or him bumping into something—pardon the pun—hard (like a door) while his penis is erect. If it does happen, ice packs and ibuprofen can help with the healing process.
11. Some Men Can Give Themselves Fellatio
This might just be the most random (and fascinating) penis point on this entire list. While some call it "auto-fellatio" and others refer to it as being "self-fellatio", there are men who are actually limber enough to give themselves head. I read somewhere that approximately 1 in 400 men are able to do it. Does the same go for women and cunnilingus? Maybe if you're a contortionist, but since we don't have anything that "sticks out" when we're aroused, it's a lot more difficult. (I don't know if you consider that to be good or bad news. Report back.)
12. Blue Balls Are Also Real (and Have a Scientific Name)
Whenever you hear a man talk about having blue balls, it's best not to roll your eyes. Yes, it's a very real thing and the scientific name for it is prostatic congestion (or epididymal hypertension, depending on who you ask). It's basically what happens when blood gets trapped inside of his testicles, resulting in some pretty extreme achiness and discomfort. Now here's what guys may not tell you.
Blue balls don't only transpire when a man is horny and unable to get a release. It can also come as the result of having too much sex, masturbating too often, having a cold, drinking excessively or even eating too much spicy food. That's why an orgasm isn't the only remedy for prostatic congestion. Taking a warm shower or an aspirin can oftentimes bring relatively quick relief too.
13. Very Few Men Actually Need Magnum Condoms. XL, That Is.
I don't know about you but, back in my sexually active days, it always used to tickle me that almost every man I was with had a pack of Magnums, even though every man I was with wasn't in need of one—if you know what I mean.
From what I've read, only six percent of men should actually purchase that brand, if it's the "XL variety" that they are after (which is exactly what they typically choose to buy). The reason why is because Magnums measure at a little over eight inches long and a little over two inches wide. While the average size of most penises (erect) is 5.16 inches.
That's why it really is best, for all parties involved, for men to ditch the ego boost of a Magnum and utilize an actual condom chart before actually purchasing this kind of prophylactic. Condoms are most effective (and feel best) when they actually…fit correctly.
14. Stress DEFINITELY Affects a Man’s Erections and Orgasms
When a man has a difficult time maintaining an erection or having an orgasm, more times than not, stress is the root cause. In some instances, this is referred to as "orgasmic dysfunction" which can be brought on by age and medications but also shyness, low self-esteem, relationship problems, sexual guilt (that's sometimes brought on by religious beliefs and upbringing) or even—get this—nagging. The reason why this is a good thing to keep in mind is because, a lot of times, we think that only women need to be "mentally in tune" in order to enjoy coitus. But, as you can see, if men aren't in a place of peace and calm, it can wreak havoc on their sex lives too.
15. Black Men Do Lead the “Pack”. But Only Slightly.
I believe it's a man by the name of Roberto Esquivel Cabrera who currently holds the record for having the largest penis in the world. How large is it? You ain't ready—it's a whopping 18.9"! He's not a Black man which makes him the perfect lead in for my final penis fact. While it has been stereotyped since, forever, that Black men have the biggest penises out of all ethnicities, that is only "a little bit true". What I mean is, according to another study conducted by the International Journal of Impotence Research, "We have shown that the man's mean penis length who identifies himself as black is just a little bit bigger than the one who identifies himself as white. However, there were no significant differences between groups regarding self-assessment of genital body image." This is a nice way of saying that you shouldn't assume our Black kings are always "large and in charge" or that Karen's brothers are teeny-tiny. It's kind of a crap shoot, so require more than penis size when selecting a partner; even when it comes to sex.
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I Asked 10 Men What Turned Them On. This Is What They Said.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your February 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Self-Love & Soulful Alignment
Explore your sign’s 2025 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
February is a coming together, as a culmination of community and abundance is evident. Some significant planets go direct this month after being retrograde since this past year, and we can finally take a deep breath. We walk into the month in Aquarius season, and the focus during this time is on coming together with the people you resonate with on a soul level, opening your heart to love, and gaining perspective in the process. When the Sun is in Aquarius, everything feels more electrified and inspiring, and this is one of the best months of the year to manifest and set your intentions.On Feb. 4, Venus enters Aries, Jupiter goes direct in Gemini, and the energy and passion return. Venus in Aries is fiery, dynamic, and puts self-love first. While Venus is in Aries for the entire month, February is all about going after the things you want in love, and trusting that you will be supported here. Jupiter goes direct on the same day after being retrograde since Oct. 9, and we can see our blessings manifest more effortlessly now, especially regarding communication matters, networking, short travels, education, and the mind. Jupiter finishes its Gemini transit on Jun. 9, so over the next few months, this is a good time to expand your mind and your vision, get creative, and meet new people.
What February 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
The Full Moon of February occurs in Leo on the 12th, and this is the Snow Moon of the year. This Full Moon brings emotions to the surface and creates self-clarity and honesty in the process. This Full Moon is a time to let go of old versions or ideas of yourself that don’t align with who you are today and to focus on what feels authentic and empowering for you right now.
On Valentine's Day, Mercury enters Pisces until Mar. 3, and the mind is on love right now.
While Mercury is in Pisces, we speak in words of poetry and spirituality, and mental connections turn into romantic ones. This is a beautiful energy to walk into on the day of love, signifying an urge to be around people who truly understand you right now.
Pisces season begins on Feb. 18, and we move into a time of closure, healing, creativity, and introspection. On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in Cancer after being retrograde here since Jan. 6, and being retrograde in general since Dec. 6. With Mars now direct, there is more energy and direction at our disposal, and less confusion on where to go from here. Mars will be direct in Cancer until Apr. 18, and there is a lot of love, support, and intuition to be felt right now. Mars in Cancer supports others while also cherishing boundaries, and this is a good time to feel more stability in matters of the home and heart.
We end the month with a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is a time of magic, dreams coming to fruition, and romance in the air.
A New Moon in Pisces reminds us that what has been lost always comes back around in a new form, and helps us see what our heart is grateful for right now. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for the future and to dream the dream. Overall, February is an inspiring and enlightening month, and your heart is the one leading the way right now.
Read for your Sun and Rising Sign below to see what February has in store for you.
ARIES
February is all about love for you, Aries. You are thriving within relationship matters as Venus is in your sign for most of this month. Venus moves into Aries on Feb. 4 and will be here until Mar. 27, however, Venus will be going retrograde in your sign on Mar. 1. So, use February to walk into some new beginnings in love, but remember to take your time with things here as well. You are overall feeling more reciprocity, support, and positive recognition now, and self-love is key this month.
On Feb. 12, we have a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this Full Moon occurs in your 5th house of romance.
This is a beautiful Full Moon for seeing love bloom and for experiencing a sense of fulfillment that brings you closer to another. Before the month ends, Mars goes direct after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with the home, family, close loved ones, and emotional stability. With Mars now direct here, new foundations can be built in your world, and you feel more supported and secure as you end the month.
TAURUS
This month is a time to reflect, accept, and move into your new beginning, Taurus. There is a lot to process this month, and with the Sun in your 10th house for most of February, a lot of your focus right now is on your goals, purpose, and life path. The Full Moon happening mid-month is an opportunity for you to see things clearer in the home, and to create space for more support and nourishment here. You are letting go of what is weighing you down or making your emotional world feel more difficult to process this month.
Mercury enters your 11th house of hope, community, friendship, and manifestation on Valentine’s Day this year, and you move into a time of inspiration. You are thinking of all the things that make you feel empowered, loved, and in tune, and it’s time to create more of this energy around yourself. We have a New Moon in this same area of your chart before the month ends on Feb. 27, and you are ready to look forward in life rather than at the past of what could have been.
Overall, this month is about listening to your heart and spending more time taking care of yourself.
GEMINI
February is a chance to take a break, Gemini. You need more time to process and prepare for what’s ahead of you, and you are taking the time to do so this month. February begins with Jupiter going direct in your sign after being retrograde here since Oct. 9. Jupiter, the planet of blessings, will be direct in your sign until Jun. 9, and won’t be here again for another decade. This is your opportunity to set intentions, focus on your dreams, and make some important achievements happen.
Extra good luck and support from the universe are with you now, and the key for you is to let things come to you naturally through patience and dedication.
On Feb. 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and some important culminations are coming through in matters of the mind. You are coming to some conclusions about something, and it’s changing your perspective overall. Before the month ends we have a New Moon in an area of your life having to do with your career, professional world, and reputation, and this is a good time to set your intentions for what goals you want to see through right now.
CANCER
February is a month of enlightenment, Cancer. You are aligned with the path you are walking on right now, and everything is starting to make a little more sense to your heart. This month we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving away from an emotionally heavy space. You are letting go of a lot of what has kept you conflicted, and there is a sense of peace that is being obtained in the process. This is your month of inspiring others through your resilience and gift of forgiveness.
Mars goes direct in your sign on Feb. 23 after being retrograde here since Jan. 6. With Mars retrograde in your sign since we began the year, there has been a lot for you to reflect on and emotionally process, and you are seeing yourself and your life with a new perspective and passion. Mars will be in Cancer until Apr. 18, and this is the time to take action on the things that you haven’t been ready to move forward with these past few months. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces, and you are leaving the month in the mood for an adventure.
This is the time to get out of your comfort zone, travel, or do something fun.
LEO
February is about protecting your energy and what you are bringing to fruition in your life, Leo. With a Full Moon in your sign mid-month, you are moving through a time of culmination, release, and inner clarity, and there is a lot to reflect on right now. You are recognizing your need to create boundaries from those who don’t serve you or your life path and are focusing on the things that feel good for you.
With the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month as well, you are gaining clarity on the relationships you want to move forward with, and where you need to create more space.
Venus is in Aries and in your 5th house of romance, self-expression, creativity, and joy for most of the month, and your heart is yearning for some excitement. When it comes to love in February, opportunities are coming to the surface for you to get out of your head and into your heart, heed the call. At the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving into a breakthrough. You end February with less weight on your shoulders and more energy to just be.
VIRGO
Trust your intuition this month, Virgo. February is a month of getting organized, gaining clarity, and feeling purposeful. With Jupiter going direct in your 10th house at the start of the month, blessings follow through regarding your career and professional world. The intentions you have been setting and going over these past few months, are coming to fruition for you now, and you are being recognized and supported for your efforts here. This is a month of feeling a level up in your life, and like you are where you want to be.
Mars goes direct on Feb. 23, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with friendship, community, and your hopes and dreams over the past month or so. With Mars now direct in Cancer, it’s easier for you to feel hopeful and to see and experience the magic in life. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your sister sign Pisces on Feb. 27, and love takes on a new beginning. This New Moon is one of the best of the year for you to set your intentions for love, and trust where your heart is being called to right now.
LIBRA
February is all about perspective and the intentions you are setting in your life through the thoughts you are thinking, Libra. The Sun is in your house of romance and Venus is in your house of partnership for most of the month, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. New developments are coming to fruition within your relationships, and you are reaping what you have sown, feeling grateful for what has come to fruition for you.
This is a beautiful month for travel, moving forward in your partnerships, and feeling more commitment and support in doing so.
With Jupiter also going direct this month, your home life and foundations see improvements and expansion. Anywhere you have been feeling limited here is being lifted for you now, and you are able to breathe and think bigger about what is possible for you and your sense of stability in life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is a chance for you to connect with the people who inspire you, and to let go of anything that doesn’t feel authentic to who you are today or how you feel about things.
SCORPIO
February is a month of feeling loved, Scorpio. Everything's coming together for you exactly how you have envisioned it, and with the Sun in your house of family, support, and foundations, you are feeling closer to your loved ones in the process. We have a Full Moon in your 10th house of career in mid-February, and culminations are coming through in your professional world, as recognition for your efforts and hard work are here for you now. This Full Moon is about taking the time to congratulate yourself for how far you have come and to feel gratitude for your progress in life.
On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in fellow water sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with travel, adventure, spirituality, and education over the past month or so. With Mars now direct, travel plans follow through and it’s easier for you to see the bigger picture. The New Moon of the month takes place on Feb. 27, and this is a beautiful time for you to experience joy and pleasure. You are ending the month by making your inner child happy, showing up, and connecting with the love that surrounds you now.
SAGITTARIUS
This month is a transition month for you, Sagittarius. You are moving on from what has been, and a few of you may even be moving physically or traveling during this time. This is a month of getting into new energy and letting things go where it is needed. February begins with your ruling planet Jupiter going direct after being retrograde since last fall, and you are able to experience more of the blessings in love that you have been looking for.
Love turns a new page this month, and it’s because you are no longer settling for things that don’t align with what you want for yourself or your future.
On Feb. 12, a Full Moon is happening in an area of your life that has to do with your passion, inspiration, travel ventures, and perspective, and you are getting the full picture right now. This Full Moon is about accepting the truths that have come to the surface and following through on plans that you have had for yourself. Mars goes direct in your 8th house of transformation on Feb. 23, and you end the month experiencing a personal breakthrough. A lot is changing for you in February, and you are the one leading these efforts forward because you are owning the life you deserve.
CAPRICORN
A new month is here, and you are looking forward to all of the new experiences you are about to get into, Capricorn. February is an inspiring, passionate, and eye-opening month for you and you are making a lot of progress. With the Sun in your 2nd house of finances, values, and self-confidence for most of the month, you are spending a lot of your time developing new plans and intentions for yourself, especially financially. Mid-month we have a Full Moon in your 8th house of shared resources, and the support that you need to thrive and expand financially right now is becoming clearer to you.
Towards the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your sister sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with love, partnership, and harmony over the past month or so. With Mars moving forward again, so are you in love, and your relationship dynamics feel a little more balanced and empowered for you. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces to close out the month, and this New Moon for you is all about setting your intentions regarding communication, networking, and the ideas you want to build off of right now.
AQUARIUS
Your season is here, and everything is falling into place for you now, Aquarius. This is a month of feeling a positive culmination of everything you have been working towards, and seeing the rewards for your efforts. With the Sun in your sign until the 18th, all eyes are on you and you are focused on your personal goals, investments, and self-courage. Jupiter goes direct as we begin the month, turning things around for you in love and helping you see things with a new perspective here.
Blessings and understanding within relationship matters bloom for you now, and you can finally take a break from the confusion here.
With Venus in your 11th house of friendship for most of February, this is the month for connecting with the people who you resonate with on a soul level and giving your heart more time to enjoy the company. The Full Moon happening mid-month occurs in your opposite sign, highlighting your romantic life and sense of partnership. Love comes full circle as you let go of the past here and see the gifts of the partnerships you have been building in your life.
PISCES
February is your month of abundance and opportunities, Pisces. There is a lot to tend to this month, but you have the empowerment and passion to do so. Jupiter goes direct in your 4th house as the month begins, and you are feeling stronger foundations emotionally and within the home right now. Progress is being made in the spaces that are close to the heart, and you are feeling the blessings of support and stability in your life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is about letting go of unhealthy daily routines or habits and giving yourself more space to figure out what feels right for you.
On Valentine's Day this year, Mercury enters your sign, and your mind is focused on love, understanding, and connection. The conversations you are having now are fulfilling your heart and inspiring you, and you are gaining clarity in relationship matters as well. Pisces season officially begins on Feb. 18, and it’s your time to shine, to love, and to be loved in return.
Before the month ends we have a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is one of the best times of the year for you to set your personal intentions, manifest, and reinvent yourself.
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20 Sweet & Fun Valentine's Day Ideas (Regardless Of Your Relational Status)
I’ve shared before, throughout the years that, although holidays aren’t exactly my thing, as a marriage life coach of over 20 years at this point, there is a theory about the origin of Valentine’s Day that I can low-key get down with. Legend has it that a priest from way back in the day ultimately became a martyr for marrying couples during a season of war (while Emperor Claudius II was ruling). Since it was believed that husbands didn’t make good soldiers, men weren’t allowed to marry during that time. St. Valentine didn’t care, though and he ultimately lost his life because of it.
Whether folks consciously realize it or not, that’s probably why, whenever the topic of Valentine’s Day comes up, couples immediately come to mind. That’s fair. However — and no, this is not to gaslight you — it can’t be said enough that Valentine’s Day really is (supposed to be) a holiday that celebrates love, in general…not just romantic love. And that’s why I thought that it would be a good idea to provide a quick list of 20 ways that EVERYONE, no matter what their current relational status may be, can embrace and enjoy February 14.
Because love is something that should be acknowledged and amplified whether you’re in a romantic relationship or not. Right? But of course.
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1. Book a spa day.
This year, since Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday, why not work half a day and then spend the other half at a local spa? A facial and massage are two great ways to decompress and pamper yourself as you prepare for whatever weekend plans that you may have — date or not.
2. Or cultivate a spa day at home.
Wanna hold on to those coins? Have a spa day at home. If a part of you is thinking, “That just sounds like a lot of work,” if you’re in a relationship, you and your bae can do it together or, if you’re single, invite a girlfriend over. From prepping to “doing” to clean-up, it’ll be a lot more fun if you’ve got some company around.
3. Get some new lingerie.
Personally, I think that Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to get some new lingerie (check out “Lingerie Hacks: How To Choose The Best Kind For Your Body Type”). Whether you plan on being in bed all weekend for the purpose of sex, rest, or both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”), you will feel so much more sensual and attractive in a new babydoll, romper or pair of sexy ass panties.
4. Invest in a new sexy scent.
Last week, while in a home improvement store, two women tried to guess what I was wearing. When one flat-out asked and I said, “I never tell,” she said to her associate, “Girl, she just doesn’t want us smelling like her.” EXACTLY. It’s an essential oil blend that I made up and yes, signature scents have a way of making you feel…beautifully distinctive. So, whether you want to seduce your bae or simply boost your own self-confidence, cop a new sexy scent.Since science says that fragrances also calm, soothe, and cultivate fond memories — you’ve got three more reasons why doing so is an absolute must.
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5. Book a photoshoot.
It’s kind of a shame that, unless I truly have to, I rarely get pictures (professionally) taken. It’s a wise thing to do, though: to see yourself all dolled up, with good lighting and in poses that commemorate where you are in different stages and seasons of your life. That said, in honor of love (including self-love), book a professional photoshoot for yourself, for you and your partner, or with some of your favorite people. Even if it happens later in the year, at least use Valentine’s Day weekend to get the ball to rolling.
6. Have a meal and/or flowers delivered to work.
If you are going to work on Friday, wouldn’t it be nice if someone else had your favorite meal or flowers delivered to your job? 1000 percent. You shouldn’t let that keep you from doing it, though. Or, if you are single, you and one of your friends can make the mutual decision to send each other a meal and/or a bouquet to each other. The “itch gets scratched” either way.
7. Purchase a stone/crystal that symbolizes (self) love.
I’m a fan of certain stones and crystals, mostly because of what they represent and symbolize. And so, whether you’ve got a man or not, treat yourself to some jewelry that represents self-love; ones like rose quartz, moonstone, rhodonite, amethyst, or citrine (for starters). After all, you can’t love others good, until/unless you love yourself…well. Etsy has some awesome customized pieces, by the way.
8. Recreate a favorite date.
If you do happen to be in a relationship, something that I think is very romantic is to recreate your first or favorite date with your partner. It has a way of bringing back butterflies and also creating really special new memories like nothing else will or can. On the flip side, if you’re someone who dates yourself, recreate a great moment from that. Or, if you’re like me and you and your friends go on dates, recreate a top five of one of those. Research says that nostalgia has a way of making our lives feel more meaningful. What better time to emphasize this fact than on a love celebration day?
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9. Or go on a date with friends.
Something that’s pretty awesome about Valentine’s Day is there are restaurant discounts all over the place! And even though a lot of the deals are for two people, if you’re not in a relationship, my advice would be to take some friends and y’all get the “two for” deal(s) that way. A list of some of 2025’s Valentine’s Day restaurant specials is locatedhere.
10. Plan a trip.
Another (potentially) unfortunate thing about Valentine’s Day is far too many people think that they should be “love on steroids” on that day and then it’s okay to half-step on expressing love the rest of the year. NOPE. If anything, Valentine’s Day should remind people to “amplify love” as much as possible. One way of doing that? If you’re in a relationship, plan a romantic vacation together. If you’re single, plan a trip or a girls’ trip. Make a promise that it will happen before the next Valentine’s Day rolls around; then plan (and save) accordingly.
11. Get creative with red wine.
Red is the signature color for Valentine’s Day, mostly because it symbolizes things like love and passion. Since red wine is considered to be an aphrodisiac and it’s great for your health due to all of the antioxidants that are in it, everyone should indulge in a glass while toasting to five things that they love about their partner and/or themselves. After you do that, check out “Why Wine Deserves A Spot In Your Natural Beauty Arsenal” for some other creative ways to implement this popular drink.
12. Have a ball with some dark chocolate.
Speaking of signature stuff, the signature candy for Valentine’s Day? Chocolate. Hands down. That’s why you should get some Hershey’s kisses for yourself, if you do have a bae, get some (eh hem) chocolate paint and, whatever your relational status is, also read, “12 Ways Dark Chocolate Can Benefit Your Body From Head To Toe,” so that you don’t have to feel the least bit guilty for indulging.
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13. Design a love-themed vision board.
Vision boards may not be discussed as much as they used to be, oh, say, 10 years ago; however, they still deserve properly placed shout-outs. Because there is data to support that visualization can help people reach their goals, going through the creative process of putting together a vision board can help motivate you, bring forth a sense of clarity, and help to remain focused until your goals are achieved. Does this include when it comes to your love life (or the love life that you wish to have)? Absolutely. Check out “Before You Quit Dating Altogether: Have You Ever Tried 'Vision Board Dating' Before?” for more on that.
14. Make a love-themed playlist.
Something that YouTube does for me that I actually appreciate, is it automatically populates music playlists (based on songs that I select) that I can save and listen to whenever I want. One list, in particular, that I go to often, includes Troop’s “Still in Love;” Cherelle’s “Everything I Miss at Home;” Christopher Williams’s “All I See;” Brandy’s “When You Touch Me;” Force M.D.’s “Tender Love;” Lisa Fischer’s “How Can I Ease the Pain;” and Faith Evans’s “Soon As I Get Home” — and that’s just for starters!
Ain’t nothin’ like listening to an hour’s worth of some of your favorite love jams — either to copulate with (check out “Before You Pull Out Your Playlist, This Is How Music Affects Your Sex Life”) or to fall asleep to on Valentine’s Day. A listening experience that is truly unmatched.
15. Binge-watch romantic movies.
I’m telling y’all — knock Tubi if you want to, but it does have some gems on there from time to time. This past weekend, I checked outThe Number (Issa Rae and some of the Black & Sexy gang…if ya know, ya know) and I cracked up a few times. Anyway, whether you’re cozied up with your man on the couch, you and your long-distance boo or friends decide to throw something like a Hulu or Amazon Watch party (read more about how to here), or you and your cable-knit blanket want to snuggle alone, you can almost never go wrong with watching some rom-coms on Valentine’s Day.
16. Enjoy a (romantic dinner) (possibly at home).
If you’re single, you probably won’t care (at least too much) about waiting 30-60 minutes for a table on Valentine’s Day. If you are in a relationship, though, to avoid all of that nonsense, you might want to either have a romantic dinner delivered to you or make something together at home. When it comes to the second option, don’t knock it. Put on something sexy, listen to some seductive music, and then at least skim through “Here’s How To Make Cooking A Meal Together Sexy (When You Hate To Cook)”. There is something very sensual about preparing aphrodisiac-centered foods, scantily-clad, with your man. Always.
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17. Indulge in something sweet.
If you don’t partake in any of these other suggestions, at least get yourself a pint of your favorite ice cream, a slice of your favorite cake, a couple of donuts, some strawberries, and whipped topping — hell, SOMETHING that is sweet because it is almost criminal to go through an entire Valentine’s Day and your tastebuds didn’t get a little bit of sugar on them. C’mon now.
18. Soak in a rose petal-filled bathtub.
Most grocery stores have rose petals in their floral section, so get some to put into your bathtub. The scent reduces anxiety, the feel helps to soften your skin and if intimacy is on the agenda for the evening, it is a great way to “pregame” your erogenous zones. Just sayin’.
19. Spend the night at a hotel.
A change of scenery. If you’re in a relationship, it can make sex hotter. If you’re not, it’s a cool way to enjoy some time away from your home without spending the kind of cash that you would if you took an actual vacation. Either way, a (nice) hotel room is gonna be a wise Valentine’s Day investment and a major win.
20. Relax. Relate. Release.
Back when I wrote “What To Do When You Don't Know How To Chill Out” and “How To Stop Having A 'Knee-Jerk Reaction' To Everything,” something that I mentioned was the importance of learning how torelax, relate, and release. That said, as I close this out since Valentine’s Day is all about all things love, please make sure to get into that head and heart space by doing ONLY what will relax you, by entertaining ONLY what your mind, body, and spirit can relate to and by releasing whatever isn’t serving you, well, in the love department — choose to ONLY hold onto what is holding onto you.
Whether you’re in a (romantic) relationship or not, it’s the recipe for having a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Trust me, sis. You’ll adore everything about the day if you do.
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Featured image by Anastasiia Krivenok/Getty Images