

I've had weed in my lifetime. Smoked it. Tried a couple of edibles. One time, I underestimated the power of medicinal weed and lawd—that is another article for another day! But I'm not even close to what quite a few folks in my world are. I mean, I've got some real, top-notch, bona fide weed connoisseur in my space. And if there's one thing that they all unanimously agree on, it's the fact that if you want to take your sexual experience to another level, adding a little Mary Jane, brown sugar, cannabis into your life will definitely help you to do it.
If you're someone who is skeptical about that, I totally wrote this with you in mind. Not so much as a "commercial" for you to try cannabis yourself (to each their own, chile), but so you will consider having a more open mind about weed, in general and those who do enjoy it—whether they do so in the bedroom, out of it or both. By the way, I also wrote it for the weed-curious who are wondering if they really should believe the hype. So, are you ready to learn some of the sexual benefits that can directly come from a puff-puff-pass?
1. Weed Reduces Anxiety
If you're someone who struggles with feelings of anxiety, weed is something that could very well help you out. I once read a study that stated, out of the 9,000 people surveyed, half of them said that weed helped them to cope with anxiety, stress and depression-related symptoms more. That's because weed is capable of bringing calm and even improving one's quality of rest; especially if you're someone who is particularly sensitive to phobias, social anxiety, PTSD or sleep disorders.
How this ties into sex is, pretty much any reputable physician or sex therapist will vouch for the fact that, the reason why a lot of women struggle with climaxing is because they are overly anxious. If weed is brought into the mix, it can move your stress and tension out of the way, making it easier for you to orgasm. Sounds good to me.
2. Weed Can Give You an Energy Boost
If you're someone who is the living and breathing definition of the mind wanting to do what the body just can't seem to muster up, this is one more reason to give weed a try. There are certain strains that can legitimately give you quite the energy charge, so that you can have sex—or have it longer—than you usually do. A real popular weed pick-me-up strain is sativa. That's because it has a high THC (the compound in cannabis that gives you the "high feeling" effect) count (it sits somewhere around 22 percent). You can read more about this particular kind of strain here.
3. Weed Relieves Physical Discomfort
If you don't enjoy sex as much as you'd like to and it's strictly because you're in some type of physical pain or discomfort, weed can help here too. Not only is it able to help to modulate pain and elevate your serotonin (the natural chemical that calms your nerves and makes you feel happier) receptors but, the reality is, when you're feeling good, you tend to focus on pain less. Just one more reason to give weed a try, huh?
4. Weed Relaxes You
I'm thinking that it's a given that sex is always better when you're in a chilled out and relaxed kind of headspace. Well, something else that weed is really great at doing is taking some of the edge off, so that you are able to feel more peaceful. When it comes to this particular perk, the key is to take the "less is more approach" because, too much of a good thing, can actually trigger hyperactivity in some individuals. It's also a good idea to opt for a strain that is either indica-dominant or sativa-dominant; both of those have been proven to give the best woo-sah results.
5. Weed Can Make You Hornier
When it comes to what causes a low libido in women, the reasons run the gamut—hormonal imbalances; medical issues like diabetes, high blood pressure and arthritis; drinking too much alcohol; sleep deprivation; pain during sex and straight-up fatigue. For the record, if you're someone who normally has a fairly high drive and just recently, it has tanked, it's always a good idea to make an appointment with your doctor to see if there are any underlying health issues going on. If there's not, weed is something that can crank up your sex drive too. A strain known as limonene is one that comes with citrus scent varieties and can produce a strong euphoric feeling that can totally put you in the mood for coitus.
6. Weed Intensifies Orgasms
Can sex be good without an orgasm? Yep. Is sex a billion times more rewarding when you're able to have one? Also, yes. And guess what? There are many studies out here to support that another benefit that comes from incorporating weed into your sex life is it's able to intensify orgasms; especially our orgasms. I actually recently read an article that cited a study at Stanford Medical Heart's urology division. It said that, because weed definitely makes us less anxious and more relaxed, we don't overthink and less overthinking leads to 1) more orgasms and 2) better ones.
7. CBD Lube Is the Ultimate Weed Complement
This platform is such a fan of CBD lube that we actually did an article on it. Please make sure to read "Why Cannabis Lube Is The Best Thing To Get Yourself For V-Day" when you get a chance. In the meantime, if you want the Reader's Digest version of why you should, at the very least, add some of this kind of lubricant into your sex collection, I'll share a couple of solid reasons.
For one thing, lubricant always makes sex better, especially for us, because the wetter we are, the more pleasurable sex can be. As far as CBD specifically, it is the non-psychoactive compound in weed that comes with many medicinal benefits. Sexually, it's great because it's able to heighten sensitivity in your genital region and also help to decrease any discomfort if you happen to have a partner who is "blessed" in the packing department (if you know what I mean).
BONUS: Make Sure to Consider the Strain
Something that you might've noticed is, when it came to a few of these points, I also made sure to mention a particular kind of strain of cannabis as well. The reality is, not all weed is created equal; different kinds come with a different backstory and set of benefits. So, if there's a specific type of "effect" that you're looking for, it's a good idea to do some research on the strains that exist out in these streets. A site that can help you out is Leafly and an article that can help you out on the site is "The best strains of all time: 100 popular cannabis strains to try before you die". As far as where to cop various strains, this link here will help you to know if your state has legalized medicinal and/or recreational weed and this link here is just one place where you can order from dispensaries online.
Oh, and if you decide to go the edible route, just keep in mind that it can be hard to know how much weed—and therefore, how much THC—is in a brownie or cookie. If there's too much, you can easily go from swinging off of chandeliers to literally climbing the walls. So, on that tip, proceed with caution.
Welp. There you have it. Seven solid reasons why sex and weed do mix. In a really big, hot, erotic and euphoric kind of way. Wheeeeew.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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More Than A Meal: How Bryant & Daniella Found Love In The Kitchen
How We Metis a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
They say the best relationships start off as friendships, and Bryant aka Chef Baul, and Daniella Williams are living proof of that. The couple met on the job and from there, their relationship organically blossomed into something much more.
Now married for almost three years, the couple has grown their family and businesses, opening a brunch restaurant, Betty Sue’s, in Atlanta.
From the day they met, food has always played a role in their relationship, and working together in the food industry is what we call a full circle moment. Learn more about Bryant and Daniella’s story of finding love with one another.
How they met.
Bryant: We met at a mutual clients’ house. She was doing the lady hair, and I was cooking for the lady. The client sent her downstairs to record me while I was cooking to, I guess, see what I was cooking, and I caught her recording, but we didn't talk. I caught her recording, we laughed it off, and she went about her day.
So I guess that was the first thing that made us interact with each other. A few months down the line, I think she posted something [on social media]. I hopped in her DM and responded to it, and then we decided to just meet up and hang out. I looked at her as an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. She don’t need nothing. I don’t need nothing. It's good to hang with people who don't need nothing from you.
When we linked up, our chemistry was just so soft and just so nice. She is a great person, but after meeting up with her [for the] first time, she went back to Miami. She came back [to Atlanta], and we just kicked it off that next weekend, and ever since then, we've been locked in.
Daniella: That same client had flew me back in so I knew I had to come up here for work. But I told him that we'll meet up and [go] on a date and see each other again. When that happened, everything else was history. It just happened organically. It wasn’t forced or anything.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
First impressions.
Bryant: I knew for a fact for her to come downstairs and try to record me, I knew that she was brave, and that said a lot about her, because I barely even talk when I'm cooking for my clients. So you have to talk to somebody for them to feel comfortable to play with you, or do certain things. I feel like the client sent her downstairs because she knew that she's an outspoken, bubbly type of person who don't mind laughing it off if she gets caught doing it.
When she came back to Atlanta, she booked me to cook for her family. So while I was cooking for her in the kitchen, the whole time she was in there talking to me. It was like a date in the kitchen, and I cooked her food. Once the food was laid out, I just left. We had a great conversation when I was cooking for her, and also when she came downstairs and tried to record me.
Daniella: I was impressed how he was multitasking because I was asking him deep, interesting questions, and he was cooking the food, and he was still answering my questions. But I was in a relationship at that time, so I wasn't really in tune. It was no emotions. But when I came back and flew in to work, we met with each other.
He came and picked me up from the hotel and we drove around Atlanta, sightseeing. We went to the African club. So when he came downstairs, I was like okay, you not gonna hug me, you not gonna say nothing? He was shocked and we stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
We stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
The one.
Daniella: When we first linked up, he took me around Atlanta. He was soft and gentle. He was a gentleman. He opened the door for me and I never had nobody open the door. He opened the door every single time I was going in and getting out the car, and when we went to that restaurant. I was like, [there’s] something about him, and he was just nice, calm and patient. So I knew he was a little different from what I'm used to.
Bryant: [I knew she was the one by] how she cared so much. She didn't really know me like that. She knew of me, but she cared so much about me. When we first met, she would lay on me and just relax. For someone who just wants to relax on you, that says a lot about them towards you. It wasn't like I had to prove myself and she didn’t have to prove herself with me either. It wasn't nothing like that. We were willing to take whatever came with it. But it just was really a break. It was like the best me meeting a woman because I didn't try.
Any other woman, I might be trying to dress up, take her to this place, I did not try at all. I picked her up and I actually thought that she wasn't gonna go on the date with me because of her status and my status. I'm such a laid back homey dude and she's from Miami. I thought she would be on the City Girls, you gotta do this, do that. But she wasn't. She was the total opposite. She was a homebody, chill, like me.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
Marriage advice for couples.
Bryant: Work together. Communication, put your mind together.
Daniella: And keep your family out your business.
Bryant: Keep it private please. Y'all work it out first. When y'all make sure it's solidified, then you tell them, or let them find out on their own. Privacy is the most valuable thing.
Daniella: And date each other because people get married and they stop doing the things that they did to get you, or stop doing the things that they did while they were in a relationship with you, before y'all got married. No, do the same thing. For me, I get bored easy, and I think he knows that. So just keep it spicy. Keep it interesting.
Bryant: We like spontaneous stuff like last-minute trips, trying different foods, going out the country just off a spur of a moment. You gotta make it fun. Don't just make it all business. And I think one person out of the relationship needs to take the initiative to make sure their partner is relaxing and at peace. A lot of people carry functional depression to where they’re functional, like we're doing this right now, but they can be going through something.
I don't think it's male or female. I think whichever one, the other partner should notice it and work with their partner to get through whatever they get through, like, for postpartum depression and stuff. That's something that most men don't even really know exist, but that's something when she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her.
She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much. So you got to be considerate of your mate's mental state and their mental well-being, because when it's gone, it's gone and it takes a lot to get it back, so I think that's important.
When she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her. She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much.
If you see something not right with your spouse, help them get help. It's okay for them to talk to a therapist by themselves, or it's okay for them to talk to somebody, but don't just sit there and let them go into this decline and self-destruction. I think that's the most important, because sometimes she be overwhelmed, and I have to be that person to hold her up. And then sometimes I'm overwhelmed. To her, baby, I don't want to do this no more. She's like, you gonna do this. We gonna do this. And she reminds me who I am. I remind her who she is, and we come back feeling more motivated.
Daniella: I think business owners should date business owners because they understand your hustle, your hunger. They understand when you can have a day where you make $0 and you have a day when you make $1,000. But I feel like if you dating someone who is in corporate America, and you a business owner, there's going to be a lot of friction, a lot of tension, and I just feel like I want to date someone that has the same drive as me.
Because I don't want to feel like I'm trying to build a bear, build a man, and I have to pull you and drag you, or just being with somebody who got they self together. For instance, my last relationship. I won't say I was the breadwinner, but I was kind of established, and I felt like I was sleeping with the enemy. I was growing fast and I wasn't stagnant. I was trying to get to the next level. He started to be jealous of me and I feel like a lot of women deal with men trying to be jealous of them. Men also have ego issues where they don't really want their woman making a certain amount of money or making more money than them.
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