We stan an emotionally aware king and a recent interview on Joe Budden's web show Pull Up, Big Sean proved that taking a one-year hiatus from work to focus on his mental health has made him exactly that.
In their chat, the rapper revealed that although he has battled depression since high school, it wasn't until after his 30th birthday when he started to question if his problems required professional help:
"When I turned 30 that was when it all like hit the wall. That's when everything just like… I woke up every day and I just was like, over life."
Although he had recently bought his dream home and felt accomplished in his career, Big Sean says that he soon noticed that his failing emotional health eventually extended over to his creative process:
"It just felt like I was blocked from everything creatively, physically, mentally, emotionally. I was just done. I was just ready to be done and it was scary cause I had just got a gun too. So it's the worst combination to be feeling like this."
Along with bearing the burden of creative and emotional blockages, the symptoms of his depression also took a toll on his personal life.
"My relationship at the time with my family was completely disconnected. Like a lot of people see me with my mom. I be taking my family a lot of places, but at that time in my life, for those couple of years, I remember vividly telling her like, 'I don't want you to be a part of my life. I don't want you to come around.' And when I was saying stuff like that. It didn't sound like me, so I knew something was just off. I got off my path."
The rapper, who will turn 32 later this month, explained that it was at this point when he realized that it was time to seek therapy outside of his inner circle. Big Sean explained that although venting to your friends is a normal part of life, there are some issues you have to take to a professional.
"Even though I feel like I can talk to my circle, the people around me, it's kinda like I wanted to talk to somebody where I can just like leave it there with them. I'm a firm believer of communication too and talking to the ones around you, but sometimes you want to talk about stuff and have that relationship just with that person and leave it there. Because once you leave it there, you bring a whole new energy back to you and your circle. You know what I mean? And once I started that, I just realized that I was just off. But I feel like the first step to overcoming that is just really recognizing."
Mental health isn't a topic that was foreign to the rapper before his 30th birthday, but it's one he that he says he hasn't taken seriously until now. Big Sean explained that while he felt he had to live up to the pressures of being the successful one in the family, he later found that most of that pressure was self-inflicted:
"People were like, your mental health, you have to take care of your mental health. And that's something I didn't even ever consider. That was like the last thing I used to think about. I used to think about, I gotta take care of my mom, I gotta take care of everybody. Well really if I just talk to them, they probably could have been like, 'Oh, it's cool. I can pay for this.' One of the things I always wanted to do, I was going to take care of my family. I always wanted to do that. But on one side, once I just opened up, everybody was just so accepting around me, you know?"
Featured image via Pull Up/Joe Budden