Big Sean On Experiencing Depression After Turning 30 & Prioritizing Therapy
We stan an emotionally aware king and in a recent interview on Joe Budden's web show Pull Up, Big Sean proved that taking a one-year hiatus from work to focus on his mental health has made him exactly that.
In their chat, the rapper revealed that although he has battled depression since high school, it wasn't until after his 30th birthday when he started to question if his problems required professional help:
"When I turned 30 that was when it all like hit the wall. That's when everything just like… I woke up every day and I just was like, over life."
Although he had recently bought his dream home and felt accomplished in his career, Big Sean says that he soon noticed that his failing emotional health eventually extended over to his creative process:
"It just felt like I was blocked from everything creatively, physically, mentally, emotionally. I was just done. I was just ready to be done and it was scary cause I had just got a gun too. So it's the worst combination to be feeling like this."
Along with bearing the burden of creative and emotional blockages, the symptoms of his depression also took a toll on his personal life.
"My relationship at the time with my family was completely disconnected. Like a lot of people see me with my mom. I be taking my family a lot of places, but at that time in my life, for those couple of years, I remember vividly telling her like, 'I don't want you to be a part of my life. I don't want you to come around.' And when I was saying stuff like that. It didn't sound like me, so I knew something was just off. I got off my path."
The rapper, who will turn 32 later this month, explained that it was at this point when he realized that it was time to seek therapy outside of his inner circle. Big Sean explained that although venting to your friends is a normal part of life, there are some issues you have to take to a professional.
"Even though I feel like I can talk to my circle, the people around me, it's kinda like I wanted to talk to somebody where I can just like leave it there with them. I'm a firm believer of communication too and talking to the ones around you, but sometimes you want to talk about stuff and have that relationship just with that person and leave it there. Because once you leave it there, you bring a whole new energy back to you and your circle. You know what I mean? And once I started that, I just realized that I was just off. But I feel like the first step to overcoming that is just really recognizing."
Mental health isn't a topic that was foreign to the rapper before his 30th birthday, but it's one that he says he hasn't taken seriously until now. Big Sean explained that while he felt he had to live up to the pressures of being the successful one in the family, he later found that most of that pressure was self-inflicted:
"People were like, your mental health, you have to take care of your mental health. And that's something I didn't even ever consider. That was like the last thing I used to think about. I used to think about, I gotta take care of my mom, I gotta take care of everybody. Well really if I just talk to them, they probably could have been like, 'Oh, it's cool. I can pay for this.' One of the things I always wanted to do, I was going to take care of my family. I always wanted to do that. But on one side, once I just opened up, everybody was just so accepting around me, you know?"
To watch the full clip, click below.
Featured image by Getty Images
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images
