Being a woman in any industry is a challenge, but when you add being a Black woman, it feels like we're at the bottom of the totem pole sometimes; especially if you're one of the youngest people in the office.
My work environment went from a very urban culture to a very traditional one, where I found myself to be the minority. It didn't take me long to realize that I had to up my game for my peers to take me seriously. But once you recognize that you have to make moves for your coworkers to see you as a deserving colleague, you already have the tough part out of the way.
Here are a few of the approaches I took:
1.Be Early
When I first started at this new job, it wasn't unusual to see people strolling in 5, 10, and even 15 minutes late. So of course, when I saw that, I thought it was okay to finish my face or hair, even if that meant being a few minutes late.
I quickly realized that those rules didn't necessarily apply to me because I got the side eye. I was almost offended when they seemed surprised that I was on time, and even early. The petty part of me didn't want to give them the satisfaction of saying I did anything wrong, but God was still working on me.
When you show up early, as difficult as it might be, it proves that you not only want the job but that you're dedicated to it and deserve to be there just like everyone else.
2.Dress The Part
I pretty much live in t-shirts and jeans, so I'm all for a casual work environment. This is why I was so happy to know that everyone dressed casually at my job, and some people didn't even iron their clothes.
While I was tempted to toe the line and rock my distressed jeans, especially on Fridays when hardly anyone was there, I realized that there was no way I would be taken seriously if I dressed like I was going to the mall. If you work in a casual environment, don't be afraid of jeans, just make sure they're appropriate and think about pairing them with a blazer and heels.
On the other hand, you don't always have to dress casually just because you can. In fact, not doing so could help you stand out in an even better way. Either way, go above and beyond and dress for what you want, not for where you are currently. If your boss or the VP is rocking suits every day, you might want to think about doing the same.
3.Get To Know Your Coworkers
Small talk with coworkers can help build working relationships. Try asking about their kids and family life, or even how their day is going. Getting to know the people you work with allows them to get to know you, and ultimately take you more seriously. Something about realizing that your coworkers have a life outside of the building is like when you're little and you see your teacher outside of school.
If you can, invite some of them to lunch or to hang out after work. When you get back into the office, you might notice how the demeanor and interactions completely change for the better.
4.Stand Up For Yourself
There were so many times when my colleagues didn't think I knew what I was doing or what I was talking about. This was even the case when it came to tasks that I specifically was hired to do, and it made me wonder why they brought me on board to begin with.
If you also have moments like that at work, it's imperative that you don't hull over and just let it pass by. You have to prove that you're knowledgeable about what you're doing, even if there are those who question why you're there in the first place. Not standing up for yourself indicates that they're right about you and your alleged lack of skills.
For someone like me who is typically soft-spoken, this is a tough lesson to learn. But it's also a very necessary one. Whether it's your first job out of college, your first job in a new career, or one that you've been doing for years, there's a reason that they chose you. You just can't be afraid to keep proving it and showing it (in a respectful way of course).
5.Keep It Professional
If you have a lot of friends at work, it's really important to make sure that you're still taken seriously. That's a really tough balance to achieve, but once you do, it's actually a pretty great work experience. If you don't have a lot of friends at work, you might be taken seriously but you might not be respected. Both of these extremes can be resolved with how you conduct yourself.
It's really all about setting boundaries and letting your colleagues know, whether they're friends, frenemies, or just associates, that you take your work seriously. There are some amazing work environments that are really fun and give you permission to let loose. Even in those situations, you just have to remember to draw the line somewhere.
Having fun at work definitely means you love what you do, but at the end of the day, make it understood that you want to be taken seriously.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Okay, but is that actually true — or is the thrill of a honey packet in folk’s heads more than anything? And if it does actually work, is there anything that you should be concerned about before giving a honey packet a shot? These are the questions that I am going to try and answer for you today, my friend. Because, although I truly am an ally of you having the best time possible in your bedroom, I also want it to come with as few side effects or unexpected surprises as possible.
Honey packets. Let’s get into it.
Why Are Everybody and Their Grandma Raving About Honey Packets, Chile?
Video credit: @blackcircuitmedia via TikTok
Okay, so the video that you just watched? Oh, believe you me, there is PLENTY where that came from. LOL, shoot, even offline, I’ve had people personally sing praises to me about certain honey sticks and honey packets. However, the one that, by far, seems to get the most standing ovations — umm, so to speak — is Royal Honey. If you’ve never tried it (or even heard of it) before, what makes Royal Honey such a big damn deal? Well, according to the website, it is designed to give men increased testosterone levels and longer erections.
When it comes to the version that is made for us ladies (Royal Honey’s site also sells the Pinky P*ssy Gummies that some of you may have seen before), it’s supposed to help regulate our hormones, help to tighten vaginal muscles and enhance sexual pleasure.
As far as the reviews on the site go, there are consistent five stars on many of the product pages. That’s cool. Okay, but did you know something that I didn’t see listed? THE INGREDIENTS. At least on the main website that I checked out, if you look under the description and additional information tabs, nothing is said about what is actually in the Royal Honey brand that is helping everyone and their granny to climb all of the walls in their house.
And so, y’all, already out of the gate, as awesome as it is to have some of the best orgasms ever, thanks to a lil’ pack of honey, not knowing exactly what’s causing them? Yeah, you should be pretty concerned about that, especially since the FDA is.
So, Why Do Some Health Experts (Including the FDA) Frown Against Them?
GiphyAnd that brings me to the serious side of Royal Honey. Because social media had been raving so much about honey packets, apparently, it caused health experts — including the FDA — to wanna see what’s going on, and you know what? They weren’t exactly thrilled about what they discovered. For one thing, one article that I checked out said that it took a “lab analysis” to find out what was even in Royal Honey, to begin with (which pretty much confirmed the red flag that I shared about there being no listed ingredients on the site or packaging). What was discovered is there is a drug known as tadalafil in it.
And just what is that? Tadalafil is a type of medication that is used to treat erectile dysfunction (ED). It does this by increasing blood flow to a man’s penis. Okay, so a man takes something that will make his penis stay hard for a longer period of time. No problem, right? Chile, listen. Even with people who have ED, they are advised to alert their healthcare provider before consuming tadalafil if they have a history of blood, liver, heart, or kidney disease, if they struggle with high or low blood pressure, or if they have diabetes. Oh, and if a woman is trying it out, she should let her physician know if she’s pregnant, breastfeeding, or trying to conceive.
Beyond that, there are certain medications that shouldn’t be mixed with tadalafil, like (high) blood pressure meds, medications for prostate issues, treatments for HIV, and even grapefruit juice shouldn’t be mixed with it. And again, if you’re a woman, prescriptions like fluconazole (which treats yeast infections) should not be taken with the drug. Plus, tadalafil can potentially jack up your or your partner’s nitrates. This matters because nitrates are compounds that can increase blood flow, which makes them a good thing.
The flip side to the nitrate coin, though, is they can also cause your blood pressure to become dangerously low — and that can potentially lead to weakness, blurred vision, dizziness, heart damage, or strokes. Lawd, this is what’s in the beloved Royal Honey packets — and again, the manufacturers don’t appear to be very upfront about it. Shady boots that want y’all to knock boots. For shame, for shame.
Is Honey An Aphrodisiac, Though?
GiphyIn fact, all of this is a part of the reason why honey is mentioned in the article, “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious.”
Still, this doesn’t mean that if you suck on the tip of one of those honey teddy bear bottles that you see at the grocery store, you’re going to end up with the same close-to-immediate extreme results that Royal Honey is able to give you — again because there is a damn drug in it. So, you should be real with yourself about that.
Also, I should mention here that, of course, there are other honey packet brands on the market. For instance, Black Thai Honey seems to get a fair share of attention, and I’ll at least give it props for letting its customers know that it contains ingredients like maca, ginseng, and bueta superba (an herb that also treats ED) in it. Still, drugs are drugs, and herbs are herbs, and it’s always a good idea to alert your doctor if you’re about to add something new to your system — just to be on the safe side.
____
Aight y’all, if you were paying close attention, I’m sure you noticed that there is nothing “oddly spectacular” about honey packets. Apparently, the ones that seem to work the quickest and most intensely share the common thread of some sort of something that treats erectile dysfunction — and if you don’t have that issue, you should be careful about taking something that is used specifically for it.
That said, honey packets are so deeply ingrained in sex culture these days, that I already know that folks aren’t gonna stop using them, no matter what I (or the FDA) say. Hell, at this point, I’m just glad that you literally know what you’re getting yourself into.
And if Royal Honey is something that you use or want to try, at least give a little bit of side-eye to something that has a drug in it and yet prefers not to mention or discuss it with its customers. You know what they say — even when it comes to sexual enhancements…when something seems too good to be true, there can be some truth to that.
Bottom line: Have fun, yes. More importantly, BE SAFE.
Whew. Honey packets, included, please.
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