Being a woman in any industry is a challenge, but when you add being a Black woman, it feels like we're at the bottom of the totem pole sometimes; especially if you're one of the youngest people in the office.
My work environment went from a very urban culture to a very traditional one, where I found myself to be the minority. It didn't take me long to realize that I had to up my game for my peers to take me seriously. But once you recognize that you have to make moves for your coworkers to see you as a deserving colleague, you already have the tough part out of the way.
Here are a few of the approaches I took:
1.Be Early
When I first started at this new job, it wasn't unusual to see people strolling in 5, 10, and even 15 minutes late. So of course, when I saw that, I thought it was okay to finish my face or hair, even if that meant being a few minutes late.
I quickly realized that those rules didn't necessarily apply to me because I got the side eye. I was almost offended when they seemed surprised that I was on time, and even early. The petty part of me didn't want to give them the satisfaction of saying I did anything wrong, but God is still working on me.
When you show up early, as difficult as it might be, it proves that you not only wanted the job, but that you're dedicated to it and deserve to be there just like everyone else.
2.Dress The Part
I pretty much live in t-shirts and jeans, so I'm all for a casual work environment. This is why I was so happy to know that everyone dressed casually at my job, and some people didn't even iron their clothes.
While I was tempted to toe the line and rock my distressed jeans, especially on Fridays when hardly anyone was there, I realized that there was no way I would be taken seriously if I dressed like I was going to the mall. If you work in a casual environment, don't be afraid of jeans, just make sure they're appropriate and think about pairing them with a blazer and heels.
On the other hand, you don't always have to dress casually just because you can. In fact, not doing so could help you stand out in an even better way. Either way, go above and beyond and dress for what you want, not for where you are currently. If your boss or the VP is rocking suits every day, you might want to think about doing the same.
3.Get To Know Your Coworkers
Small talk with coworkers can help build working relationships. Try asking about their kids and family life, or even how their day is going. Getting to know the people you work with allows them get to know you, and ultimately take you more seriously. Something about realizing that your coworkers have a life outside of the building is ike when you're little and you see your teacher outside of school.
If you can, invite some of them to lunch or to hang out after work. When you get back into the office, you might notice how the demeanor and interactions completely change for the better.
4.Stand Up For Yourself
There were so many times when my colleagues didn't think I knew what I was doing or what I was talking about. This was even the case when it came to tasks that I specifically was hired to do, and it made me wonder why they brought me on board to begin with.
If you also have moments like that at work, it's imperative that you don't hull over and just let it pass by. You have to prove that you're knowledgeable about what you're doing, even if there are those who question why you're there in the first place. Not standing up for yourself indicates that they're right about you and your alleged lack of skills.
For someone like me who is typically soft spoken, this is a tough lesson to learn. But it's also a very necessary one. Whether it's your first job out of college, your first job in a new career, or one that you've been doing for years, there's a reason that they chose you. You just can't be afraid to keep proving it and showing it (in a respectful way of course).
5.Keep It Professional
If you have a lot of friends at work, it's really important to make sure that you're still taken seriously. That's a really tough balance to achieve, but once you do, it's actually a pretty great work experience. If you don't have a lot of friends at work, you might be taken seriously but you might not be respected. Both of these extremes can be resolved with how you conduct yourself.
It's really all about setting boundaries and letting your colleagues know, whether they're friends, frenemies, or just associates, that you take your work seriously. There are some amazing work environments that are really fun and give you permission to let loose. Even in those situations, you just have to remember to draw the line somewhere.
Having fun at work definitely means you love what you do, but at the end of the day, make it understood that you want to be taken seriously.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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The Libra woman is looking for her equal in love, someone who is willing to put in the same effort she is, and the Aries man sees Libra as someone he is willing to do that with.
The Love Compatibility Of A Libra Woman And An Aries Man
What attracts a Libra woman and an Aries man to each other?
There is a magnet of attraction pulling these two together, and things tend to move pretty fast in this relationship. The Libra woman is always open to love and her charming nature rarely has any challenges here. The Aries man fights for his independence and doesn’t sacrifice that unless he is completely enamored with someone.
Once the Aries man catches the eye of the Libra woman, he is typically the one to make the first move and this instantly wins the approval of Libra.
These two feel like they have known each other forever when they meet, and this spark between them doesn’t die down easily.
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What is the relationship like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The relationship between the Libra woman and the Aries man is one of balance and excitement. The Aries man tends to take on the more dominant role in this relationship and the Libra woman tends to be the more receptive one. Aries is ruled by masculine Mars, and Libra is ruled by feminine Venus. They understand they are coming from two completely different worlds, yet they also instinctively feel this underlying connection to each other and like they could be something each other needs in their lives.
The Libra woman can rely on the Aries man, and the Aries man never has to ask for the love that Libra already knows he needs.
This is a couple that is often reading each other’s minds and wanting to do a lot of the same things. However, not everything is rainbow in this relationship as well, and there are some major differences they have to overcome to make things work. One argument can lead to an explosion between these two, and addressing things when they come up rather than sweeping them under the rug, will be needed to make this relationship long-term.
What is the sex like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The sex between a Libra woman and an Aries man is adventurous. These are two cardinal signs with plenty of energy and stamina to keep things exciting in the bedroom. There tends to be a good give and take in this relationship, and their yin and yang energy benefits them when it comes to their sex life.
There is electricity felt between the two of them in this area of their life, and their power of attraction to each other is strong. These are two people who will want to do a lot of things together, including exploring sexually together.
The Aries man will have to be careful with being overly aggressive, however, as the soft Libra woman may not like this energy- it will completely depend on the two individuals at hand. The Libra woman wants to ease into things, the Aries man wants to get going right away. Learning about each other's bodies, and energy, and reading each other’s cues will help with this.
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What makes a relationship between a Libra woman and an Aries man work?
These two genuinely like each other, and that basis is a key factor for success in any relationship. The Aries man is straight to the point, direct, and inspired. The Libra woman admires these characteristics in others, as she is often herself finding her balance in this type of energy as well. Neither sign is overly emotional in a way that turns them off, and they both require a lot of the same things in a committed relationship. They want honesty, fun, good communication, passion, and to be moving towards a common goal together.
The Libra woman and Aries man don’t have a problem being real with each other and this is something they really value within the relationship. They are both very charming, and there is plenty of flirtation and attraction to keep this relationship going. Aries being the protector they are, Libra finds a sense of safety and ease in this energy, and like they have found their match. Overall, this is a well-balanced relationship and one where they don’t have a problem when it comes to compatibility or chemistry in the relationship.
What may cause a Libra woman and an Aries man to break up?
Libra is the lover, Aries is the fighter, and this energy may be tiring for the both of them after time. The Libra woman can be passive to a fault, and the Aries man who is not evolved, may take advantage of that. She will need to be careful with putting Aries’ needs above her own, creating resentment later down the road. The Aries man loves a challenge, and the Libra woman would be up for that game for a little bit, but if she is not being met in the middle, she will begin to look for other places. These two can have a difficult time keeping the peace in the relationship, and there could be a lot of arguments and disagreements here if they both aren’t willing to put their egos or self-pleasing attitudes to the side.
The Libra woman and Aries man are both more sensitive than they appear or come off as. They are also not necessarily the type to dive deep into their emotions and express them to others, even in their relationships. However, this energy can keep the relationship to a surface level than what is needed to progress and grow the relationship, and a sense of openness is required for this couple to work. Libra needs romance, she wants to be wowed. Aries needs to remember this and to always consider her love language.
Summary
Overall, this is a successful pairing. They will have their fair share of challenges in the relationship, but nothing they can’t overcome if they are willing to. The trouble will come in when it comes to the longevity of the relationship, keeping Aries excited and Libra in love. However, all in all, there is more power, attraction, and love to keep this relationship together rather than apart. No relationship is perfect, but this one is a little more blessed than most.
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