Ever feel like you've been completely forgotten at work? You're working all these long hours, continuing to execute, but it seems like no one is taking notice. You've made it clear that you're ready for the next step (and you've got the outstanding work product to support it), but still it doesn't seem like your voice is being heard.
Particularly with coronavirus still dragging on and many of us still very disconnected from our work teams, it's easy to get lost in the shuffle and feel overlooked. But is there anything you can do about it? Absolutely! I've got five options you can explore to help you get back on the radar:
Option 1:
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Schedule a reconnect meeting with your immediate supervisor. Whether you're still working virtually or you're back in a physical office, get on your boss' calendar. In advance of the meeting, prepare your worklist, the status of outstanding items, and the results you've already delivered on your tasks or initiatives. This conversation will allow you to showcase the work you have done, but also make your boss aware of the areas where you need their support to be successful. It's on you to be proactive in engaging your supervisor if you're not receiving what you need.
Option 2:
If you don't feel like the reconnect meeting is sufficient, schedule an update meeting with your supervisor and THEIR boss on one of your prominent or most impactful work items. If you have a hierarchical structure at your workplace and you don't want your boss to feel like you're going around and/or above them, discuss it informally before scheduling to let them know what you would like to cover in the meeting and WHY you think it's important. Your suggestion to meet with their boss may spur some renewed interest from your supervisor and kickstart the collaboration or support you have been missing.
Option 3:
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Let's say you don't feel like the reconnect option with your supervisor or the update meeting with management are feasible to do alone. Another option is to partner with some of your other coworkers who may be working on similar or related projects to then create a joint review session with management. While the attention will not be solely on you, your work can be seen alongside others and can potentially spark separate conversations as management seeks to gain better insight into the results each of you have delivered.
Option 4:
But what if collaborating with your coworkers on a joint review session isn't practical? Block some time to speak with your sponsor (if you have one at your company) about your current position and the roadblocks you are facing. Leveraging your sponsor's expertise and guidance can help you to think through solutions that may not have initially come to you. Also, given your sponsor is typically someone with what I call "corporate clout", they can tap into their networks at their level and help facilitate some additional "motivation" for your direct management to better engage with you and become more involved in your progress. Remember, your sponsor wants to see you be successful, so don't be afraid to use that lifeline.
Option 5:
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"Julia! I don't have a mentor or a sponsor. What else can I do?" If you have a TRUSTED colleague at work (I repeat, trusted. You don't tell your business to just anybody), particularly someone who has been with the company a while and understands the management culture and unwritten rules, confide in them about how you're feeling. This person can help you to think through other contacts to meet with or ideas on how to better present your work product to ensure it gets the right attention from management. They can also share their network with you to help you find the sponsors and mentors you need, not just to resolve your immediate concerns, but also to provide support throughout your career at that organization.
I know it's frustrating to sit at your desk every day and feel like no one cares about the work you're putting in. But the fact is, YOU do. So use one of the above options to take ownership of your progress and proactively push for the attention and development you deserve. Even if you are planning to quit, you still owe it to yourself to get the recognition and resources you've earned while you're still at your current employer.
Never forget that you don't have to take things lying down. Stand up for your own career!
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Featured image by Shutterstock
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Today, that movement has turned into a wig uprising where Black women are able to experiment with colors, styles, and more without causing irreparable damage to our hair. It could even be said that we’ve arrived at a new level of acceptance: one that does not equate love of oneself to one’s willingness or lack thereof to wear her hair the way others deem acceptable. Not even other people who look like us.
However, as with Blackness itself, the issue of Black women’s hair is layered.
On the surface, it’s nothing more than a matter of personal preference. However, in a deeper dive, issues of texture, curl pattern, and of course, proximity to social acceptance, as well as other runoff streams from the waters of racism and patriarchy, rear their heads. The natural hair movement, though a wide-reaching and liberating community builder, also gave way to colorism and often upheld mainstream beauty standards.
Sometimes, favoring lighter-skinned influencers/creators with very specific hair textures, the white gaze leaked into our safe space and forced us to reckon with it. Accurate representations of natural hair in various states of being—undefined curls, kinks, and unlaid edges—are still absent from brand marketing. Protective styles, though intended to provide breaks from styling for our sensitive hair, have become a mask to help our hair be more palatable. A figurative straddle of the fence in order to appease the comfort of others in the face of our hair’s power.
And then there’s the issue of length.
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As a woman who has spent much of the last decade voluntarily wearing her hair in many variations of short hairstyles, from a pixie cut to a curly fro and a sleek bob, what I’ve gleaned throughout the years is that there is a glaring difference between how I am treated when wearing my hair short than when I opt for weaves, extensions or even grow it out slightly longer than my chin.
The differential treatment comes from women and men alike and spans professional and personal settings, including friends, coworkers, and industry peers.
What has become abundantly clear is that long hair is often conflated with beauty, softness, and any number of other words we relate to femininity in a way that short hair is not. That perceived marker of the essence of womanhood shows up in how I am received, communicated with, and complimented.
Even more so than texture, length has a way of deciding who among us is deserving of our attention, affection, and adoration. Whether naturally grown or proudly bought, the commentary around someone’s look or image greatly shifts when “inches” are present.
When it comes to long hair, we really, really do care.
In an effort to understand whether I had simply been misinterpreting the energy around my hair, I decided to take my findings to social media. I began with two side-by-side photos of myself. In both pictures, my hair is straightened; however, in one, I am wearing my signature pixie cut, and in the other, I am wearing extensions.
I posited that treatment based on hair length is a real thing, and what followed was confirmation that I was not alone in my feelings. “Long hair, like light skin, button noses, and being thin are all forms of social capital,” one user commented. “Some Black women enforce the status quo too, why wouldn’t we?”
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This also brought to mind the many times celebrity women (like most recently Beyoncé's Cécred hair tutorial) have done big reveals of their own natural tresses in an attempt to silence any doubt that Black women are able to grow their hair beyond a certain length. Of course, we all know that to be true, so why do we still feel the need to prove it so?
The responses continued to pour in from women of all skin tones, who felt that hair length played a role in people’s treatment of them. “When I have short hair I always feel like people don’t treat me like a woman, they treat me like a kid,” another user commented. “When my hair is long I get a lot more respect for some reason.”
From revelations about feeling invisible to admitted shifts in their own perceived beauty, Black woman after Black woman poured out her experience as it relates to hair length. Though affirmed by their shared realities, knowing that reactions to something so trivial have become yet another hair battle for Black women to fight was disheartening. Though we continue to defy gravity and push the bounds of imagination and creativity by way of our strands, will it always be in response to the idea that we are, somehow, falling short?
Unlike more obvious instances of hair discrimination, the glorification of longer length is sneakier in its connection to Eurocentric beauty standards. Hair commercials, beauty ads, and even hip-hop music have long celebrated the idea of gloriously long tresses while holding onto the ignorant notion that it is inaccessible for Black women.
Even as we continue to fight to prove our hair professional, elegant, and worthy in its natural state to the world at large, we’ve also adopted harmful value markers of our own as a community. It’s evident in how we talk about who has the right to start a haircare line and which influencers we easily platform. It’s evident in the language we use to identify those with long hair versus short hair. And it’s painfully obvious in how we treat one another.
It makes me wonder if India.Arie’s brave rallying cry, almost two decades old in its existence, will ever actually hold true for us. Or will we just continue to invent new ways to uphold the harmful status quo?
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Feature image by Willie B. Thomas/ Getty Images
