Beauty & The Black Dollar: Why Our Collective Power Is Key To The Survival Of Black-Owned Businesses
For months we've been adjusting to a new way of working, living, and connecting as COVID-19 and its effects actualize themselves in our lives. And while I've personally forgone my hopes of a traditional #HotGirlSummer, some states have announced plans to re-open despite warnings from officials that the pandemic is "far from over." This, paired with weeks of global unrest in response to yet another wrongful murder of a Black person, has left the most vulnerable communities in a season of constant change.
Black and woman-owned small businesses are among them.
From Madam C.J. Walker to Honeypot's Beatrice Dixon, Black women entrepreneurs have played a vital role in our country's business landscape, spreading their magic across industries and color lines. And although these have proven to be trying times, a renewed focus on these contributions has resulted in a swell of support and heightened interest in seeing Black women-owned entities succeed.
Founders like Yelitsa Jean-Charles of Healthy Roots Dolls can attest to this after a now-viral Tweet translated into sales typically seen over the course of months, in just two days.
The Founder: The Product: pic.twitter.com/o5SNHB368q
— Yelitsa Jean-Charles (@TheYelitsa) June 6, 2020
People are looking for ways to support and reinvest in Black communities to honor their contributions and combat racial inequities that have been hindering their economic and social progression for generations.
I spoke with Black women beauty entrepreneurs who shared more about how they've faced these challenges head-on, and how this surge of support can impact the future of the beauty industry and Black businesses at-large.
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In late March, millions of Americans began awaiting their $1,200 cut from the CARES Act as a means to withstand rising unemployment and the residual economic onslaught. Similar programs were also put in place to protect small businesses, but not without their own set of hurdles.
The Paycheck Protection Program (PPP), one of the more popular aid programs, provides low-interest loans to small businesses. But with a lack of concrete guidelines and the exhaustion of initial funds after just 13 days, countless small and minority-owned businesses were left helpless while larger companies received million-dollar bailouts.
"If you target your aid toward a certain type of business, we will come out of this pandemic and we will only have that type of business,'' said Amaya Smith, co-founder of the Brown Beauty Co-op. Smith and fellow beauty entrepreneur Kimberly Smith (no relation) co-founded the Sephora-esque beauty hub in 2018. The boutique celebrates women of color by fostering an inclusive community through its featured products, events, and beauty services.
Even in normal circumstances, Black women disproportionately lack investment capital and other resources needed to maintain their businesses and are often sole proprietorships. Despite being the fastest-growing segment of entrepreneurs in the country, they receive less than 1% in venture funding, leaving many without the emergency cash reserves sufficient for said survival.
Early numbers also show a record plummet in the number of active business owners from February to April 2020 as a result of the pandemic.
Of those, Black and female-owned small businesses have been impacted the most, experiencing a 41% and 25% decrease in activity, respectively.
"So, how do we help and support businesses who already had challenges with funding and didn't have as much access before?" Amaya continued. "I actually hope that this period of time highlights the disparity in funding and capital between businesses."
For nail salon-owner Jhavon Kashif, the pandemic has presented the second largest threat to the Nailbed & Bar in its young two-year history.
"The first was the federal government shutdown [of 2019] and here we are with COVID-19, so we've been able to weather those storms but it has been a challenge," Jhavon shared.
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Beauty and the Black Dollar
We're seeing a global outcry against racism and the structural injustices experienced by Black Americans now more than ever. In addition to the impact of coronavirus, Black entrepreneurs find themselves managing their businesses in the crossfire of backlash many brands are receiving in their not-so-genuine support of Black Lives Matter.
Once taboo, corporate leaders across industries have also announced their support for anti-racist efforts and Black Lives.
Campaigns and calls for action like #PullUpOrShutUp, created by Uoma Beauty founder Sharon Chuter, are highlighting the beauty industry's lack of Black representation and pushing for organizational change to address it.
The Brown Beauty Co-op penned an open letter to Sephora in support of the campaign, expressing their disappointment in the brand's lack of accountability for minimal diversity among executives and mistreatment of customers of color.
Image: Kimberly Smith and Amaya Smith, Co-founders, The Brown Beauty Co-op
Up until this pivotal point, many industries have neglected Black consumers, their spending power, and the importance of inclusive marketing and business practices, all while profiting from their influence.
According to a 2018 Nielson report, Black shoppers aren't only spending on products created to appeal to them, but spend considerably more money in the general beauty marketplace in comparison to their counterparts. "Our research shows that Black consumer choices have a 'cool factor' that has created a halo effect, influencing not just consumers of color but the mainstream as well," said Cheryl Grace, Senior Vice President of U.S. Strategic Community Alliances and Consumer Engagement at Nielsen on the report's findings.
The current state of affairs also reveals the economic and racial inequities that have accumulated and hindered the Black community over time. In fact, studies show us that the Black-white wealth gap remains as wide as it was in 1968.
Our dollar matters, and choosing to spend it at Black businesses is an act of economic activism, one that will have implications for generations to come.
The renewed attention of the protests has amplified the harsh duality of Black experiences to the masses, resulting in an outpour of support and celebration of Black art, beauty, history, and of course, Black business.
"My hope that the support of Black business will continue beyond the protest," said Jhavon on the recent wave of support.
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Black Women Keep it Pushing in Times of Trouble
The beauty industry relies heavily on personal interactions and physical experiences. Shoppers love to try and test before purchasing and entrepreneurs have had to get crafty about everything from marketing to providing its normal services.
"[During the shutdown] foot traffic was impacted, appointments and walk-ins, but it wasn't anything like this," said Jhavon of the pandemic. "Our doors are closed. We cannot accept anyone in our space to render any kind of service, so we really had to focus on marketing in a different way. One thing that we do that has been helpful is that we produce a lot of our products in-house."
In addition to adapting its luxury salon offerings into a Happy Healthy Nails at-Home kit, the salon expanded the promotion of other original nail care products to drive sales through its e-commerce platform.
As with most devastating events, opportunities remain for Black beauty entrepreneurs to be nimble and personally connect with communities in a way that other large retailers, like those called out in the #PullUpOrShutUp campaign, often cannot.
"Although this is a tough period, it's through these tough periods that a lot of businesses are able to come out better on the other side," said Amaya of the Brown Beauty Co-op. The boutique has kept their community of beauty enthusiasts and founders engaged with a series of virtual shopping parties, entrepreneurship social hours, and Shop Brown Saturdays in addition to its fundraising efforts.
"We're really taking advantage of social media [and] different types of virtual meetings so that we can keep our current customer base engaged but also so we can gain new customers through this," she continued. "I think being transparent is the most important."
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The harnessing of our collective power will play a key role in the survival of Black and women-owned small businesses. While we collectively work toward a more inclusive society, buying Black ensures our voices are heard and communities are supported.
Learn more about the Black beauty brands and Black businesses, you can support here.
Featured image courtesy of The Brown Beauty Co-op
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
Mavocado/ Getty Images
According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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Feature image by fizkes/ Getty Images