Thou Shall Be Broke: 10 Things That No One Told Me About Entrepreneurship
In the age of instant gratification, it seems people think that entrepreneurship and being an entrepreneur is just a matter of changing your bio on social media.
One might even “fancy it up" a bit and upload a photo or video of their “productivity," neither of which involve any real risks…and entrepreneurship is all about risks. The true definition of an entrepreneur is “a person who organizes and operates a business or businesses, taking on greater than normal financial risks in order to do so."
I told myself that once I successfully became a real entrepreneur and reached $10,000 positive in business capital, I would write a blog post to inspire others who wanted to embark on the journey of entrepreneurship. As I arrive at that benchmark, I'm not sure if this blog post will inspire or if it will send people running for the hills of job security. But as promised, here I am, telling you the 10 things that no one told me about being an entrepreneur. (Or maybe they did, but I was too hard-headed to listen.)
Let's call this, "Chantia's 10 Entrepreneurial Commandments."
1. Thou Will Be Broke
I invested over $8K to get Mantle Learning Center started, 8K that I had to pay back in order to advance my business credit limit. Even once the $8K was paid off, I was still broke because it's not your money, it's the business's money. Even being over $10,000 positive in business capital, the money belongs to the business and should be used to maintain the business and help it grow. Sure, you are out of the red once you are cash-positive but you, personally, are still broke and will be for a long time coming.
2. Thou Will Be Tired And Overworked
You are the business owner, the janitor, the financial advisor, the bookkeeper, the employee, the marketer, etc. It is chaos. There are barely any days off. You will be tired af. I'm talking 0-4 hours of sleep most nights, bags under your eyes, on the verge of tears tired. You will learn to operate in this state, hopefully.
3. Thou Shall Gain Weight
No, but seriously, even entrepreneurs who open fitness businesses fall off the wagon. You are literally not sleeping, overworking, and barely eating. That is a recipe for weight gain. Be mindful so that you can hopefully mitigate any damage done as a result of your circumstances.
4. Thou Will Be Taken Advantage Of And Taken For Granted
When you start your business, you are grateful. If you are lucky enough to have revenue coming in, you can begin to feel like your customers are doing you a favor. The issue with this is, you forget that you are providing a service or product that they want/need. Therefore, the gratefulness should be double-sided.
To the entrepreneur being taken advantage of or being taken for granted, remember: just because customers don't see your value, doesn't mean it's not there. Know your worth, then multiply it. If you're providing something that people want, your target audience will find and appreciate you.
5. Thou Will Have No Time For A Personal Life
This was a hard pill to swallow. My first year of being a true entrepreneur, I missed two friends' weddings, my Godson's christening, my best friend's baby shower, and numerous other things. My fiancee and I hang out on the weekends and say a handful of words to one another during the week. This year has brought about what it really means to be “too busy."
6. Thou Shall Keep A Precise Record Of Income And Expenses
Major Key Alert! I thought I was so organized! I just knew that my records were on point...until it was time to submit them to an accountant and I was scrambling to write stuff off in order to prove that my expenses outweighed my income. Research things that can be written off and I recommend, in your first year, trying to keep your expenses and income in one account. Write off any and everything possible because we all know not to mess with the IRS.
7. Thou Shall Start To Secure Their Future
Sometimes it frustrates me that I didn't come from a family that could teach me about investing, reinvesting, 401(k), stocks, ownership, etc. I am not an expert in the area and I won't pretend to be. I will tell you that a business or personal savings account isn't good enough. The interest rates are too low to matter or make a difference for your future. I will also tell you that entrepreneurs don't have money going into a 401(k). Therefore, it is wise to look into a Roth/Vanguard account. This will help secure a retirement savings account. Please click the underlined terms to learn more.
8. Thou Shall Doubt Themselves And Their Decisions Everyday
This is just a part of the package. It will feel like you're flying and liberated one moment, only to feel as though you are going to crash into something the next. My best advice would be to write down affirmations every morning to serve as a reminder of your purpose. The 5 Minute Journal is super useful in helping you keep your eyes on the prize and organize your thoughts. I would also try some form of meditation to ease your anxieties.
Finally, find a little time to read books that will help you work through doubting yourself. My favorite one as of late is Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill. Hill discusses how fear, doubt, and procrastination all serve as forces of “evil" that keep us from realizing and reaching our truest potential.
9. Thou Shall Know When To Walk Away
This is a major key alert too! Just because it's been a dream your whole life or you gave it too many years doesn't mean that you should spend your whole life trying to get it off the ground. The when, why, and how will ultimately be up to you. For me, when you're drowning financially, emotionally, or creatively, it's time to take what you've learned and pivotto a better idea.
10. Thou Shall Learn From Their Mistakes
Entrepreneurship is hard and exciting. The best part is that it provides you with lessons and experiences that no job can. You learn to budget for yourself, for a growing business, you learn balance, you learn the true meaning of customer service, you learn how not to give up at the first hint of failure, and so much more. You also learn whether or not entrepreneurship is for you or if you function better as an employee. You'll learn that it's not something you do just because all the “cool kids are doing it." You must be willing to risk it all.
I wish you well on your journey of entrepreneurship and hope that you find light, laughter, and inspiration in the 10 "commandments" detailed above. If you do, please recommend, drop a comment below, and share!
Chantia Singleton is a children's Author and an Educator. You can find her series, "The Little Girl With the Big Hair" at www.littlegirlbighair.com. Keep up with her on social @littlegirl.bighair.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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