
Kelly Rowland On The Cons Of Being A Millionaire At 20: "I Didn't Know What To Do With It"

Destiny's Child exploded onto the scene in 1997 with the release of their hit single "No, No, No." But by the time the ladies were singing, "Can you pay my bills?" they had many of them awaiting them in their mailboxes. Three Grammy awards, numerous coordinated outfits, and a Super Bowl performance later, Kelly Rowland reflects on her experiences as a young millionaire. She recently spoke with InStyle Magazine about what she did with her first big paycheck, how she navigated being rich at an early age, and how success has taught her better spending habits and the importance of being financially independent.
One of the hardest things to do when you're young is to actually listen to sound advice. The 36-year-old singer was once a young woman eager to bask in her newfound fame and money bags. Like many of us, when you finally have your own money, you want to spend it on all the things you were once told were too expensive instead of using that first check as an investment. Rowland reveals that this is exactly what she did. She says:
"I remember so many people telling me that I needed to save my money and invest — but I didn't listen. When I got one of my first paychecks, I went to the grocery store and bought almost everything that my mom used to tell me was too expensive. I bought all of that shit, had a party at my house, and everybody ate up everything. I'll never forget it, because it was fun and it was something I was able to fund myself."
But the fun didn't outweigh the fact that at just 20 years old, she didn't have the financial knowledge and restraint that she does now. Rowland may have had a lot in the bank, but she didn't always know exactly what to do with it. When she inevitably bought a 5,000-square foot mansion, she quickly realized that it was more than she really needed.
She says:
"I was a millionaire by the age of 20...It's insane when you think about a 20-year-old having all this money and not knowing what the eff do do with it. When it was time for the big purchase, I bought myself a house that was way too big. I was, like, 21 years old with five bedrooms and 5,000-square feet to myself. I was way too young to buy a home like that."
The Writings on the Wall dropped 19 years ago, and was the catalyst for making Rowland richer than her wildest dreams. Now that she's older, however, she practices the same advice she was given when she was younger and says, "I've also learned that you need to save, but also to invest." But in the beginning, she was admittedly an overspender.
The Voice: Australia judge admits that before she put a spending limit on her AmEx, she would rack up charges that would have any financial advisor shaking their head. She says:
"I lost my mind—when it came to extra hair, fashion, I had to have everything. I remember just going completely nuts on trips to Paris and Italy, blowing like 30 grand in 30 minutes at Bergdorf Goodman. It was ridiculous. Eventually, I started to realize that my AmEx bill was really, really high and I needed to chill out."
Over the years, she has become much more frugal and conscious of how she is spending her coins. But financial freedom includes more than just more money and more problem. As women, our financial independence is increasingly crucial and necessary. Learning the ins and outs of money management, credit, and investment isn't always a simple process, but the resources are available if you want to ensure your independence remains intact. "Ladies, it ain't easy being independent," but it sure is empowering. Rowland says:
"As a woman, I think it's the most empowering thing when you're actually able to take care of yourself."
There's no better feeling than being able to provide for yourself and those around you without the help of a man. We are creating more businesses than any other demographic, are more educated, AND remain humble enough to share our success with a man, if we so choose. The songstress reminds us of all just how far we've come and, for that, we should be proud. She tells InStyle:
"In the past, women were made to feel like they could only make things work if they had a man. Now, we're CEOs and start our own companies. Some of the most successful entrepreneurs right now are women. You can put your hand over your chest with pride because we've come such a long way. To be able to take care of yourself and be proud of that is a reward for all the hard work you put in."
Since black women are still only earning $.79 per dollar compared to some of our counterparts, pay equality is still an uphill battle. The more we speak up about this inequality and demand our worth, the more likely the next generation of women will benefit.
This all starts with actually knowing what you're worth. Rowland says that you need to come to the negotiation table armed with facts, figures, and confidence in your market value. She says don't be shy about asking for more:
" Know your worth. When it comes down to it, if you have a number and you've done your research on whatever field that you're in, and you feel like you're worth this much, you very much so need to make your worth and your presence known—and then stick by it. Don't be shy about it, and stand firm and believe it. Stay true to who you are and your gift, and make sure it's something you're passionate about because that's when you're going to be absolutely amazing at it."
Many fall victim to the pitfalls of an extravagant lifestyle once them make a lot of money, especially if that windfall comes at a young age. We've seen it everywhere from lottery winners, to artists, entertainers and athletes alike: a financial education is the key to financial longevity.
That's why Kelly Rowland is a good example of someone who started early by emboldening herself with the proper tools to have more discernment with her spending and make sound investments while continuing to work and increase the bag. Good decisions can now lead to long-term financial comfort. Choose wisely.
Read her interview in full here.
Featured image via Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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