

Kelly Rowland Reveals How She Uses Powerful Affirmations To Overcome Self-Doubt
Over the years, Kelly Rowland has been open about her insecurities and lack of self-confidence in her skin, but now she’s sharing how affirmations helped her overcome self-doubt. The “Motivation” singer spoke with Hello Beautiful about the many challenges women face when looking in the mirror. “My biggest insecurity would probably be, one of the many, I usually challenge how smart I am,” she said.
When that happens, Kelly likes to send herself flowers and little notes that remind her of how smart she actually is. A technique I think we all can benefit from. But that’s not all. The singer also speaks positive affirmations to herself, which can also be a helpful tool.
“I counter it immediately, by telling myself, you are capable. You make great decisions. You are very smart. You make great decisions. Look at all the decisions you’ve made in the past,” she said. Speaking of the past, Kelly has talked about how as a dark skin woman, she struggled with her beauty.
In 2013, she did a red carpet interview where she revealed how Tina Knowles Lawson helped her love her “chocolatiness.” “You know what I had great women in my life to help me overcome that. I remember I went through a period where I didn’t embrace my ‘chocolatiness,’” she said. “I don’t know if that’s a word, but I didn’t embrace my chocolate lifestyle. Just being a chocolate, lovely brown skin girl and being proud of that.”
“I remember Tina Knowles, Bey’s mom and I remember being out in the sun and I was trying to shield myself from the sun and she said, ‘Are you crazy?’ She said ‘You are absolutely gorgeous,’ and she just told me how beautiful I was and how rare chocolate is and how gorgeous the skin is, all of this stuff. And I was just like ‘Yeah!’ Like a light went off.”
She added, “So between her and my mother and then me sitting out in the sun a little more, just to be a little more chocolate. You just embrace it. You embrace everything that you are as a woman, even your flaws too.”
That is the reason why the mother of two was moved by the February 2022 British Vogue issue that featured all dark skin, African women.
“I lost my mind and posted it immediately,” she said. “I’ll never forget looking at a Vogue cover years ago and I saw three white women — all blonde — and they said this is what beauty looks like.”
She continued, “This cover literally made my eyes well up because it’s like the moment did the complete opposite and he [Edward Enninful] has no idea what he did to my soul. It erased that memory out of my head. I want to genuinely write him a letter and thank him — it meant so much to me as a brown girl.”
Featured image by Rich Fury/Getty Images
Exclusive: KJ Smith Talks Viral Wedding With Skyh Black: ‘We Did What We Wanted To Do’
Whether it was your group chat, social media feed, or your favorite media outlet covering the spectacle, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across the viral Black wedding between actress KJ Smith (Sistas, Raising Kanan) and actor Skyh Black (All the Queen’s Men, Sistas). From their grand entrance to Jay-Z, Kayne West, and Beyoncé’s song “Lift Off” to KJ’s standout dance routine and the endless celebrity appearances, it’s an addictive TikTok scroll you can’t help but delve into.
But what many people would be surprised to know is that the couple’s original wedding plan was nothing like what it grew to be. What started as her simply scrolling through posts to get ideas eventually transformed into what the internet knows now as #TheBlackExperience. In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, KJ walked us through her planning process, the morning of her wedding, and what she thinks of the online response.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Want To Add Retinol To Your Skincare Routine? Here’s Where To Start.
Magic products. Secret serums. Glass skin in a bottle. We’ve all heard the claims of skincare brands that promise to solve all of our skin’s needs with just one product added to our rotation. And while it’s easy to veer into “product junkie” territory when trying to find the right creams or serums to correct your skin’s needs, over time, it can become frustrating when you still don’t see results.
But if there’s one skincare ingredient that can deliver an all-in-one solution to most skincare concerns, it’s retinol.
What Is Retinol?
As the darling of the skincare space, retinol is a vitamin-A derivative that is used to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improve skin texture, increase collagen production, and enhance cell turnover, leading to smoother and more youthful-looking skin.
How Does Retinol Work?
Retinol, which is commonly found in creams, serums, and other skincare formulations, works in several ways that benefit the skin. It promotes cellular turnover by encouraging the removal of old skin cells and the production of new, healthier ones, improving skin texture and reducing fine lines. Additionally, retinol stimulates collagen production, which combats wrinkled skin and helps to unclog pores, making it an effective ingredient to use against acne and enlarged pores.
Because the body can not produce vitamin A on its own, it needs to be provided through dietary intake and topical application to the skin via skincare products.
How To Start Using Retinol
Because retinol is an active skincare ingredient, it’s important to start adding it into your skincare routine gradually and taking note of your skin’s sensitivity and how your skin responds to it. If you're new to retinol, it's advised to begin with a lower concentration (at least 0.25% retinol) and allow your skin to acclimate by starting once a week or every other night.
As your skin becomes more accustomed to retinol over time, you can then gradually increase the frequency. After a few weeks, you may be able to use it every night, but some people may find that using it every other night or a few times a week is sufficient.
Always listen to your skin and pay close attention to how your skin reacts to the usage of retinol. Experiencing dryness, redness, flaking, or irritation while using retinol is normal, but it could be a sign that you may be using retinol too often or at too high a concentration. While it can be frustrating to go through the trial-and-error phase of using retinol, adjusting the frequency of use or switching to a milder formulation can yield the best results while minimizing potential side effects.
And, of course, always use sunscreen.
To get you started on your retinol journey, here are some of the best beginner-friendly retinol serums and creams to try out for yourself:
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Featured image by Renata Angerami/Getty Images