Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
As the co-owner and Marketing-Logistics Director of Atlanta's own Transformations Beauty Studio with her twin sister Derricka, Erricka Traylor is sure to know a thing or two about money management and financial wellness. After losing nearly everything after an engagement gone wrong, the Atlanta native had to learn the hard way through experience that having everything tied to someone you aren't bonded to by marriage is not always the ideal route to take.
Following financial hardship and the ultimate heartbreak, Transformations Beauty Studio was born and thus a monthly six-figure income followed. "I save 35 percent of my income each month. In order to save this, I set a weekly budget for spending. Use my calendar to view any travel and about my spending as needed so that I hit my goal," Traylor shared with xoNecole. Though she saves with a high-yield savings account, she told xoNecole that she opts to use CapitalOne. "They are known for taking care of their existing customers. Most banks give you a great rate coming in but it drops after six months."
Courtesy of UMGMT Strategic Communications & Public Relations
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with Traylor about purchasing a brand new car on a random Tuesday without consulting anyone, the simplicity of her savings goals and the importance of her multiple income streams.
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"Wealth, to me, is defined as having balance in my life. What I mean by that is having excellent health, freedom when it comes to spending, using my time wisely, and most importantly, leaving a legacy for my family. I define success as facing your biggest challenge or fear and overcoming it. Success is going after your goals and never giving up, no matter how hard things get. Success is also about making a better choice in life and leading by example."
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
"The lowest I ever felt about my finances was after a breakup. I was in a long-term relationship, and we had tied a lot of finances up together. After the breakup, I lost out on a lot of my savings and assets. I felt low because I didn't make sure that I would be financially OK if we decided to split. It made me feel low and upset with myself because I knew better. Unfortunately, at that time, I didn't do the right thing to secure myself. I overcame it by going back to the basics. Watching my spending, saving money and investing money in a business that will help me increase my revenue. The most critical component was I changed my mindset. I no longer felt upset and low. I felt empowered to do it right this time around for myself."
On her biggest splurge to date:
"My biggest splurge was purchasing a new car. It was the first car I purchased without anyone's money or input. I purchased my car on a random Tuesday. I was over my current car and just ready for a change. My previous car was goldfish tan and it wasn't a car that I really wanted. I was so determined to get me a new car that day. I literally pulled up to the dealership with no appointment two hours before they closed. I already knew which car I wanted and color. When I spent the $32,000 on my car, I was nervous but I also felt good at the same time. It was my mark of financial growth and independence. I was able to see that I can and will accomplish goals if I stay focused on the goal and plan. I was so happy."
Courtesy of Milan Mobley
"When I spent the $32,000 on my car, I was nervous but I also felt good at the same time. It was my mark of financial growth and independence. I was able to see that I can and will accomplish goals if I stay focused on the goal and plan. I was so happy."
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"I consider myself a saver nowadays. When I was younger, I was a spender! I trained my mind to start to think of my future, [to] think of my family and what I can provide them with. I gave myself small goals and advanced over time. Now it's just routine."
On the importance of investing:
"To me, investment is essential. I invest conservatively in stock. I have restricted stock, preferred stock, brokerage CD. I also invest in the business to help grow my income and savings. My business investments are hiring the right people. For each new person added, we spend money on training, payroll, marketing etc. Investing in my company marketing and advertising is also a strategic investment that I use to gain more revenue."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"My saving goal is simple. Save enough money to have financial freedom before and after retirement. Retirement for me is on track and closely watched."
On her budgeting must-haves:
"My must-haves are housing, utilities, entertainment, groceries, transportation, self-pampering. I use Mint to help guide me with my personal finances. The system is easy and it keeps me on track with my goals and budget. I also write things down the old fashioned way. The first thing I do is take my savings percentage and put it towards my savings. Then I write out my essential bills for the month and subtract it from my monthly income. I then write out my other finances like entertainment, etc and go from there. I also add to an emergency account for small emergencies. I do this every month to keep things right and tight."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"Some unhealthy mindsets that I had to let go of were shopping all the time for clothing [and] not sticking to my savings goal. Also cutting down on eating out so much. My mindset changed and then my bank account grew and my will power got healthy."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"The worst money-related decision I made was tying all my money and assets with someone just because I was in a relationship with them. This was a very bad decision that I made at the time. I didn't do the right thing with my money. It's like I just gave it away in a sense. I made costly business decisions and didn't think about the consequences that I may face. I learned a valuable lesson to read over every contract, review the pros and cons, and think about the what ifs. If I had done this, it would have saved my 10s of thousands of dollars."
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"My streams of revenue are product revenue, salon revenue, [and] spa revenue. I started each one at different times during my career. One reason why was because I had to build up my income. Each one of my new business revenue helps start the next one. It was important to me to start another stream because, number one, I wanted to grow my business as much as possible and, number two, I wanted to grow my income. Having these different streams of income taught me to be more flexible, organized and it gives me a sense of security In finances."
Courtesy of Milan Mobley
"My streams of revenue are product revenue, salon revenue, and spa revenue. Having these different streams of income taught me to be more flexible, organized and it gives me a sense of security In finances."
On her money mantra:
"I am worthy of all the richness I desire."
On her budget breakdown:
Rent/mortgage?
"$1,600 mortgage."
Eating out/ordering in?
"$200/month."
Gas/car note?
"No car note, but gas is probably $150 a month."
Personal expenses?
"Maybe $200 per month."
For more information on Erica, follow her on Instagram and The Body Transformer's Studio official Instagram account.
Featured photos courtesy of UMGMT Strategic Communications & Public Relations
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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