
This article is in partnership with You Need A Budget.
As the luster of the new year kicks in and we begin checking off our goals and resolutions, it should come as no surprise that getting our finances together is at the top of our lists. Last year was marked with a lot of uncertainty, especially the financial kind, making it necessary to get our houses in order. If you were to ask anyone how to take control of their finances, they'd recommend starting a budget. For those of us unfamiliar with being on a budget, the idea of having one can feel daunting.
In addition to adjusting to checking in with your checking account to track expenses, knowing how to start a budget is foundationally a task in and of itself. There's no reason this year can't be everything you dreamed of when it comes to financial stability. Coming through with the skills to pay the bills (literally) is the personal budgeting software company, You Need A Budget. Below are some YNAB-approved tried and true tips on how to start a budget.
1. Know the Rules for Successful Budgeting.
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Before even beginning to create your budget, You Need A Budget is a firm believer in knowing the rules. More specifically, the "Four Rules for Successful Budgeting". Though YNAB provides you with a plethora of tools to get you started with a finely-crafted budget that speaks to you, your life, and your budget, they pack more of a punch in conjunction with these simple but transformative rules to budgeting.
- Give Every Dollar a Job: Allocate the money that you earn to specific needs, wants, and nice-to-haves in accordance with your personal budget. It's the difference between seeing an extra $100 in your account and blowing it immediately on food or clothes, and redirecting that "extra" cash someplace that will add more value to your financial goals overall.
- Embrace Your True Expenses: Instead of feeling overwhelmed by infrequent expenses, plan for them and treat them like a monthly "bill". This means your car breaking down, your annual birthday trip, and/or Christmas presents for everyone at the end of the year won't feel like such a blow to your finances. Instead, they are funds that you have added to in increments to fund throughout your year.
- Roll with the Punches: Don't feel pressured to stick to your budget to the T, instead be flexible and make adjustments where needed. For example, if you had a grocery budget of $200 for the month, but it ended up being $300, it isn't the end of the world or your budget. Instead, it just means being creative about making a necessary adjustment in another category to accommodate the overspending in one.
- Age Your Money: Perhaps one of the most important rules in the rule of four, this rule refers to being more intentional about the way you spend money through the goal of getting a month ahead. By doing the other three rules that were mentioned and spending less money than you earn, over time you are setting yourself up to be able to use your paycheck from the month before to cover expenses for the current month. The beauty in this is that by allowing your money to "age" and stay in your account longer, you are lessening the financial burden of feeling like you are living paycheck-to-paycheck.
2. Choose a Tool to Create Your Budget
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Perhaps just as important as implementing YNAB's aforementioned budgeting rules is choosing the right tool to create your budget. Do you want to go old school and track your expenses manually on pen and paper through bullet journaling? Do you want to crunch numbers through an Excel spreadsheet or a Google Sheet? Additionally, there are online methods that allow you to create your budget like Mint.com as well as banking institutions that typically have a "free" option built into your accounts.
Another favored option for creating your budget is the ease and use of apps as a budgeting tool. Apps like You Need A Budget allow users to create and customize a personal budget at their fingertips while allowing you to stay up-to-date with your expenses in realtime, no additional legwork or calculations needed. Once you figure out the framework you wish to utilize in order to meet your budgeting needs, you can officially start filling the blanks in creating your budget.
3. Note Your Monthly Income.
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You can't begin to track or allocate what goes out of your account month to month without having a clear understanding of what you bring in each month. You can figure out how much you make each month by reviewing your bank statements or pay stubs and calculating what's been deposited. For people with a traditional employer, this should be relatively easy. Also make note of anything you earn from side jobs or passive income streams you might have.
4. Write out Your Monthly Expenses.
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Keep stock of your monthly expenses by writing them down. Truthfully, a lot of us go through each month, and spend what we have until we're back at 0 without much knowledge or understanding of what our expenses are and exactly how much we're spending each month. Use a personal budgeting app like You Need A Budget or analyze your bank statements for a span of three months to gain insight on your spending habits over a period of time. Your monthly expenses may include:
- Rent/Mortgage
- Cell phone
- Eating out
- Debt repayment/student loans
- Credit card
- Groceries
- Car note
- Car insurance
- Gas
- Utilities
- Streaming services
- Internet
- Savings
- Travel
- Clothes
- Pampering
- Personal grooming (hair, nails, wax, etc)
- Misc
5. Create Sub-sections for Fixed Expenses and Variable Expenses.
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Fixed expenses liked rent payments or mortgage payments, utilities, car payments, student loans/debt repayment, and/or childcare are expenses that don't change month-to-month, so you can write them down with confidence, knowing that the payment for these expenses are "fixed" each month. Examples of this include:
- Rent/mortgage
- Utilities
- Student loan/debt repayment
- Credit card
- Car insurance
- Health insurance
- Car payment
- Emergency fund
In contrast, variable expenses vary each month, and though you might be spending money on the same kind of expenses monthly (i.e. food, shopping, entertainment), the amount you spend changes each month. For example, you might go from spending $200 on eating out one month, $150 the next, and jump to $400 another month. That being said, expenses like groceries, eating out, entertainment, shopping, and gas tend to fall in this category.
In your budget, assign a dollar amount that you want to act as your threshold for how much you will allow yourself to spend for the month.
6. Adjust the Budget Based on Your Needs.
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Based on the numbers you've spent in all of these areas over a span of three months, acknowledge what you're spending on each category and, based on your monthly income, adjust where needed. You might find that after all of your wants and needs are written down in front of you, you actually have a surplus of money left over which actually invites you to reallocate those funds elsewhere (like putting more money onto your debt repayment or your emergency fund, for example). This will help better provide you with a baseline and a foundation for tracking your expenses.
However, if you discover that you're spending way too much money, it might mean adjusting your variable expenses to better accommodate your fixed expenses without leaving you in the red or your bank account overdrawn. Likewise, you might also consider finding ways to increase your income.
7. Add in Your Wants.
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Now that we've more than covered your needs, it is important to make room for your wants. We are not machines and it does not make sense to create a budget that focuses so much on needs that you forget to give yourself some wiggle room to use the money you earn on yourself here and there. Most importantly, where it makes sense.
Adding in your wants looks like including room for "treating yourself", budgeting for those shoes you've been eyeing even if it means putting a little money away for four months until you have enough to buy it, or a monthly facial or massage. Whatever it is, make sure you budget for it, so that when whims pop up, it doesn't obliterate your bank account in the process.
For more information on how to make your financial dreams a reality or how to create your own personalized budget, visit You Need A Budget today.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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