Man, is autumn my favorite time of the year. Aside from when global warming decides to completely show out, the temperature is mild and the leaves turn into vibrant hues. When it comes to clothes, layering is always fun. I adore all of the signature scents of autumn (like cinnamon apple and pumpkin). On the emotional tip, my late father and fiancé both had birthdays in October, plus, my father used to love to bug me to death about the Cowboys on Sundays—so I have fond memories around all of that. And, because I am a Rosh Hashanah person (Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish new year) and it always falls during the autumn season, for me, the fall also marks a fresh start too.
Yet, whether autumn is your favorite time of year or not, I still encourage you to look at this season from a truly beneficial perspective in the sense that, with roughly 12 weeks left in the calendar year, what better time to get your life in order for the year that is to come? Just think about it—rather than waiting until New Year's Eve and then stressing yourself out by coming up with a New Year's resolution that probably isn't going to hold up anyway (because a whopping 80 percent of them don't), why not ease into January by preparing for it now? It's a lot easier, so much more realistic and, you might be surprised by how good you feel about stepping into a brand new year, if you put, at least a few of the following 10 suggestions, into practice.
1. Decide What Kind of Life You Want in the New Year
Let's begin here. A broadcaster by the name of Germany Kent once said, "Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction." She's exactly right. And here's one reason why now is a great time to prepare for the new year—if you are a procrastinator, you can quit telling yourself that you'll change your life on January 1; instead, you can change it right at this very moment. Listen, as a marriage life coach, something that truly tickles me is how so many engaged couples, whenever we discuss red flags that already exist in their relationship prior to marriage, shrug them off as if to say that strolling down the aisle—or in our culture, jumping a broom—will miraculously change those things.
Chile, please. Marriage amplifies what already exists. And you know what else?
There is absolutely nothing supernatural about January 1. It's just another day that happens to fall on another calendar year. So, if you want your personal or professional life to be different, try to avoid saying to yourself, "I'll get to it in the new year."
Cop yourself a fresh journal and figure out what you want your world to be like, three months from now. It'll give you time to really think long and hard and come up with a strategy to make your desires a reality—well before the stroke of midnight on New Year's Day.
2. Create A New Savings Goal
Yeeeeeah, this isn't good. Did you know that, reportedly, 69 percent of Americans have less than $1,000 in their savings account? Shoot, for a lot of us, that reality means that if we lost our job today, we could barely pay one month's mortgage/rent, let alone anything else. So, while I know this is actually the time of year when a lot of us spend more money than we should (you know, due to the holiday season 'n all), try and put aside enough money to where you can go into the new year with at least $1,500 saved up. If you saved $125 a week, starting the first week of October, it would get you there. I know that might sound steep, but I'm just giving you an angle to work from.
If you already are a pretty good saver (and if that is indeed the case, Mazel Tov!), come up with something that you want to save up money for. A new car. Some money to do some investing. Maybe a travel account. If this is something you're interested in, there are cool savings apps that can help you to keep track of your coins or, if you're married, I'm all about couples having a sex jar. You can read more about that by checking out, "5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar".
3. Do a Health Detox
Detoxing your system is beneficial on a lot of different levels. Since it's literally about removing toxins from your body, it can give you more energy; reduce breakouts; boost your immune system; put you in a better mood; decrease body inflammation; help you to lose weight; improve your digestion, and help your liver to function better. Personally, I think that the early side of autumn is a good time to do some sort of a detox because one, you can cleanse out your system before the holiday season of food approaches and two, you can figure out what type of detox you like best.
On a semi-surface level, if you're not doing it already, it's a really good idea to detox your scalp and armpits. But when it comes to fully flushing out your system, spend a couple of weeks researching the approach that you wanna take. Articles like Gaiam's "10 Ways to Detox Your Body" and Max Living's "10 Natural Detox Strategies to Cleanse Your Body & Lose Weight With Your Diet" are both helpful when it comes to helping you to learn about different approaches to detoxing your system and which one will prove to be most beneficial to you in the long run.
4. Break A Bad Habit
Remember how it used to be a common saying that it takes around 21 days to break a habit? And so, we would try, but usually fail after a couple of weeks, all the while wondering what the hell was wrong with us? Well, more research has gone into this very topic and, come to find out, it actually takes more like—you ready for this?—18 to 254 days. Yep. In the time that it roughly takes to conceive and birth a child, that could be how long it takes to break a bad habit too.
While on one hand, that might seem self-defeating AF, I choose to look at it from a different perspective. Since some things really do require months to get past, you can actually offer yourself a little more mercy and grace by taking a more logical approach to habit breaking. Since it's not realistic to get over certain things in three weeks or less, try and take your journey one day at a time—and consider starting that journey now. That way, come January 1, you'll be at least three months in and…who knows? You might actually be stronger in your areas of weakness while everyone else is trying to figure out how to go a week without breaking their own resolution(s).
5. Get Clarity/Closure in Your “Questionable” Relationships
There's a quote from the movie The Life of Pi that says, "It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise, you are left with words you should have said but never did and your heart is left with remorse." What this quote is basically speaking on is closure and yes, I am a fan of it; mostly because, to me, closure is a sign of profound respect. The thing that two people started together should be the thing that both people end, together, as well. While I know that sometimes we're not given the closure that we deserve, a Scripture in the Bible that I really like is, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Romans 12:18—NIV) In the context of this particular point, to me, it means that we should be as proactive as possible about getting clarity or closure in a relationship so that, if things do end, they can at least end…peacefully.
So, whether it's personal or professional, if there is a relationship that either isn't serving you well or you're super unclear about, why bring it into a new year?
Why not use these last several weeks to get the answers and/or do the grieving that needs to be done now, so that you can step into January from a more healed and positive space? I've shared, several times before, that one of my favorite quotes from the movie Love Jones is when Nina said to her ex-fiancé, "All we have or all these years." Life is too short and purposeful to be in relationships or situationships—again, whether they be personal or professional—that aren't really benefitting you. Figure that out now so that your heart can be open to something better once the new year rolls around.
6. Put Yourself on a Schedule
An author by the name of Matt Fox once said, "Time and effort can get you anything you want in the world. But nothing in the world can get you more time." On the time tip, he's exactly right. That's why, I'm a firm believer that, one of the worst things that someone could ever do (or we could ever do to someone), is waste our (or their) time. And yes, waste is exactly what can happen because waste means "to consume, spend, or employ uselessly or without adequate return". So yeah, this is definitely a good time to pause, ponder and reflect over if you feel like someone has you out here giving when you're not receiving anything adequate in return (Lawd!). It could be your employer. It could be the guy you're currently seeing. It could even be a friend.
And then, once you've got that figured out, ask yourself if YOU are the one who is wasting your own time. Maybe you spend too much time on social media. Maybe you let your emotions rule you when it should be the other way around, so that you can discipline your feelings and get stuff done. Maybe you're someone who puts things off until the last minute which prevents you from doing them in excellence. Maybe you complain too often. Maybe you gossip too much. Maybe you worry about things that are out of your control. Maybe you let things trigger you to the point where they leave you stagnant.
For all of these things, you know what can help? Putting together a schedule. Think about it. If you only have a certain amount of time set aside for Twitter, maybe less people will piss you off and you'll have less celebrity gossip to talk about. If you make sure to leave work when you're officially off, maybe you can put more time into building your own company so that you can leave that crazy boss of yours in six months or less. If you aren't watching so much television, you can read more. Or, if you're not always on the phone with your bestie who is always caught up in a cycle of toxicity, you can soak in the tub longer and get to bed earlier.
Oftentimes, when the topic of scheduling comes up, it's from the angle of figuring out what goes where on our to-do list. Yet I'm encouraging you to look at it from a bit of a broader perspective. A wise person once said, "The difference between success and failure depends on what we decide to do with the 24 hours in our day." Whether it's a calendar on your desk or a scheduling app on your phone, try and get into the habit of scheduling your time better as we get ready for another calendar year. By the way, please make sure that on your schedule, 6-8 hours of rest and quality time with yourself are on it. This one tip alone is a total game-changer if you take it seriously and literally.
7. Set Pampering Appointments
While I'm more an advocate of bucket lists or goal-setting instead of resolutions, if you are a resolutions kind of woman, please make sure that pampering is on the top of your list for the new year. While it took me getting well into my 30s before I embraced how essential pampering is, it's extremely important to do, just what the definition says—"to treat or gratify with extreme or excessive indulgence, kindness, or care". For the record, pampering IS NOT maintenance. What I mean by that is, if you're gonna pamper yourself in the bath, make sure there are rose petals, champagne and some milk in your water. If you're gonna get a pedicure, pay for the higher end kind. If you like wine, get it from somewhere other than the grocery store. If it's time for new panties, make sure a couple of pair are lace and in your favorite color.
Remember that the key words of pamper are "extreme" and "excessive". It's not about if it "makes sense" so much as it makes you feel very special and extremely adored. Every woman needs to feel that way, so every woman needs 1) a pampering budget and 2) to make pampering a monthly priority.
There's no time like the present to set aside some cash and to make some hair, nail and massage appointments for January. Get to it, sis.
8. Upgrade Each Room
OK. When it comes to this particular point, I'm not saying that you have to completely remodel each room because I'm pretty sure we all know that, in order to do that right, you've gotta have more than a couple of bucks in your bank account. But since the new year is all about being out with the old and in with the new, you can use the next couple of months to bring in some new and affordable additions. Maybe some new bedding in your bedroom. New throw pillows in your living room. A new set of dishes for your kitchen. A new shower curtain in your bathroom. Or, how about some new window treatments, some different art prints or a different chair in your office? Not too long ago, I purchased some of the coziest looking throw pillows for a corner of one of my rooms and it's amazing how that one upgrade has made my space look completely different. Hey, no one is saying you gotta be Bob Villa over there…but why not give yourself a little something new to look at? You've got time. Use it.
9. Nix Resolutions. Cultivate Goals Instead.
Resolutions typically don't bring forth the best results. But you know what does? Setting goals. The key to this particular recommendation is first that you create long- and short-term goals. Then, follow that up with prioritizing each goal, organizing how to execute them, setting aside time either every day or each week to work on your goal, and then celebrate your accomplishment once you actually reach it.
Say that one of your goals is to do more networking in the new year. This can be the time to research who you want to connect with and how to get in touch with them. Or perhaps your goal is to write your first book. If you want to have a publisher, this is a good time to find a reputable literary agent. If you'd prefer to publish it yourself, find out now how to go about that and get to working on/completing your manuscript. Maybe one of your goals is to become a more positive person. No time like the present to figure out what your "negative triggers" are so that you can remove them from your life.
The thing about waiting until January 1 to put some goals into place is you're basically setting yourself up to be overwhelmed. Planning your goals out now gives you the time and freedom to look at each one from a practical headspace so that you're able to increase your chances of actually reaching them.
10. Get Your Sleep Patterns Together
If you don't make any other plans for the year that is to come, please at least consider getting more rest. The reality that 1 in 3 Americans are walking around here moody, irritable, unable to concentrate, worn out and/or with a weak immune system and low libido and it's because they don't make getting 6-8 hours of sleep a top priority. If you know you could stand to get more zzzs in, use these last few weeks of the year to study your sleep patterns; to get the electronic devices out of your bedroom; to consume less stimulants (like sugar and caffeine) two hours before bedtime; to create a sleep ritual (like a soak in the tub and/or reading a book) and, if need be, to see your doctor so they can see if your lack of rest is tied into a hormonal imbalance or some underlying health concern.
Autumn has been the season when I've been super intentional about getting my world in order for several years now and it's been the absolute best decision. Go into the new year less worried, less preoccupied and less stressed by using this season to prepare for January. Then watch how much easier next year is for you. For real, for real.
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