

Why Fall Is The Perfect Time To Prep For The New Year
Man, is autumn my favorite time of the year. Aside from when global warming decides to completely show out, the temperature is mild and the leaves turn into vibrant hues. When it comes to clothes, layering is always fun. I adore all of the signature scents of autumn (like cinnamon apple and pumpkin). On the emotional tip, my late father and fiancé both had birthdays in October, plus, my father used to love to bug me to death about the Cowboys on Sundays—so I have fond memories around all of that. And, because I am a Rosh Hashanah person (Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish new year) and it always falls during the autumn season, for me, the fall also marks a fresh start too.
Yet, whether autumn is your favorite time of year or not, I still encourage you to look at this season from a truly beneficial perspective in the sense that, with roughly 12 weeks left in the calendar year, what better time to get your life in order for the year that is to come? Just think about it—rather than waiting until New Year's Eve and then stressing yourself out by coming up with a New Year's resolution that probably isn't going to hold up anyway (because a whopping 80 percent of them don't), why not ease into January by preparing for it now? It's a lot easier, so much more realistic and, you might be surprised by how good you feel about stepping into a brand new year, if you put, at least a few of the following 10 suggestions, into practice.
1. Decide What Kind of Life You Want in the New Year
Let's begin here. A broadcaster by the name of Germany Kent once said, "Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction." She's exactly right. And here's one reason why now is a great time to prepare for the new year—if you are a procrastinator, you can quit telling yourself that you'll change your life on January 1; instead, you can change it right at this very moment. Listen, as a marriage life coach, something that truly tickles me is how so many engaged couples, whenever we discuss red flags that already exist in their relationship prior to marriage, shrug them off as if to say that strolling down the aisle—or in our culture, jumping a broom—will miraculously change those things.
Chile, please. Marriage amplifies what already exists. And you know what else?
There is absolutely nothing supernatural about January 1. It's just another day that happens to fall on another calendar year. So, if you want your personal or professional life to be different, try to avoid saying to yourself, "I'll get to it in the new year."
Cop yourself a fresh journal and figure out what you want your world to be like, three months from now. It'll give you time to really think long and hard and come up with a strategy to make your desires a reality—well before the stroke of midnight on New Year's Day.
2. Create A New Savings Goal
Yeeeeeah, this isn't good. Did you know that, reportedly, 69 percent of Americans have less than $1,000 in their savings account? Shoot, for a lot of us, that reality means that if we lost our job today, we could barely pay one month's mortgage/rent, let alone anything else. So, while I know this is actually the time of year when a lot of us spend more money than we should (you know, due to the holiday season 'n all), try and put aside enough money to where you can go into the new year with at least $1,500 saved up. If you saved $125 a week, starting the first week of October, it would get you there. I know that might sound steep, but I'm just giving you an angle to work from.
If you already are a pretty good saver (and if that is indeed the case, Mazel Tov!), come up with something that you want to save up money for. A new car. Some money to do some investing. Maybe a travel account. If this is something you're interested in, there are cool savings apps that can help you to keep track of your coins or, if you're married, I'm all about couples having a sex jar. You can read more about that by checking out, "5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar".
3. Do a Health Detox
Detoxing your system is beneficial on a lot of different levels. Since it's literally about removing toxins from your body, it can give you more energy; reduce breakouts; boost your immune system; put you in a better mood; decrease body inflammation; help you to lose weight; improve your digestion, and help your liver to function better. Personally, I think that the early side of autumn is a good time to do some sort of a detox because one, you can cleanse out your system before the holiday season of food approaches and two, you can figure out what type of detox you like best.
On a semi-surface level, if you're not doing it already, it's a really good idea to detox your scalp and armpits. But when it comes to fully flushing out your system, spend a couple of weeks researching the approach that you wanna take. Articles like Gaiam's "10 Ways to Detox Your Body" and Max Living's "10 Natural Detox Strategies to Cleanse Your Body & Lose Weight With Your Diet" are both helpful when it comes to helping you to learn about different approaches to detoxing your system and which one will prove to be most beneficial to you in the long run.
4. Break A Bad Habit
Remember how it used to be a common saying that it takes around 21 days to break a habit? And so, we would try, but usually fail after a couple of weeks, all the while wondering what the hell was wrong with us? Well, more research has gone into this very topic and, come to find out, it actually takes more like—you ready for this?—18 to 254 days. Yep. In the time that it roughly takes to conceive and birth a child, that could be how long it takes to break a bad habit too.
While on one hand, that might seem self-defeating AF, I choose to look at it from a different perspective. Since some things really do require months to get past, you can actually offer yourself a little more mercy and grace by taking a more logical approach to habit breaking. Since it's not realistic to get over certain things in three weeks or less, try and take your journey one day at a time—and consider starting that journey now. That way, come January 1, you'll be at least three months in and…who knows? You might actually be stronger in your areas of weakness while everyone else is trying to figure out how to go a week without breaking their own resolution(s).
5. Get Clarity/Closure in Your “Questionable” Relationships
There's a quote from the movie The Life of Pi that says, "It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise, you are left with words you should have said but never did and your heart is left with remorse." What this quote is basically speaking on is closure and yes, I am a fan of it; mostly because, to me, closure is a sign of profound respect. The thing that two people started together should be the thing that both people end, together, as well. While I know that sometimes we're not given the closure that we deserve, a Scripture in the Bible that I really like is, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Romans 12:18—NIV) In the context of this particular point, to me, it means that we should be as proactive as possible about getting clarity or closure in a relationship so that, if things do end, they can at least end…peacefully.
So, whether it's personal or professional, if there is a relationship that either isn't serving you well or you're super unclear about, why bring it into a new year?
Why not use these last several weeks to get the answers and/or do the grieving that needs to be done now, so that you can step into January from a more healed and positive space? I've shared, several times before, that one of my favorite quotes from the movie Love Jones is when Nina said to her ex-fiancé, "All we have or all these years." Life is too short and purposeful to be in relationships or situationships—again, whether they be personal or professional—that aren't really benefitting you. Figure that out now so that your heart can be open to something better once the new year rolls around.
6. Put Yourself on a Schedule
An author by the name of Matt Fox once said, "Time and effort can get you anything you want in the world. But nothing in the world can get you more time." On the time tip, he's exactly right. That's why, I'm a firm believer that, one of the worst things that someone could ever do (or we could ever do to someone), is waste our (or their) time. And yes, waste is exactly what can happen because waste means "to consume, spend, or employ uselessly or without adequate return". So yeah, this is definitely a good time to pause, ponder and reflect over if you feel like someone has you out here giving when you're not receiving anything adequate in return (Lawd!). It could be your employer. It could be the guy you're currently seeing. It could even be a friend.
And then, once you've got that figured out, ask yourself if YOU are the one who is wasting your own time. Maybe you spend too much time on social media. Maybe you let your emotions rule you when it should be the other way around, so that you can discipline your feelings and get stuff done. Maybe you're someone who puts things off until the last minute which prevents you from doing them in excellence. Maybe you complain too often. Maybe you gossip too much. Maybe you worry about things that are out of your control. Maybe you let things trigger you to the point where they leave you stagnant.
For all of these things, you know what can help? Putting together a schedule. Think about it. If you only have a certain amount of time set aside for Twitter, maybe less people will piss you off and you'll have less celebrity gossip to talk about. If you make sure to leave work when you're officially off, maybe you can put more time into building your own company so that you can leave that crazy boss of yours in six months or less. If you aren't watching so much television, you can read more. Or, if you're not always on the phone with your bestie who is always caught up in a cycle of toxicity, you can soak in the tub longer and get to bed earlier.
Oftentimes, when the topic of scheduling comes up, it's from the angle of figuring out what goes where on our to-do list. Yet I'm encouraging you to look at it from a bit of a broader perspective. A wise person once said, "The difference between success and failure depends on what we decide to do with the 24 hours in our day." Whether it's a calendar on your desk or a scheduling app on your phone, try and get into the habit of scheduling your time better as we get ready for another calendar year. By the way, please make sure that on your schedule, 6-8 hours of rest and quality time with yourself are on it. This one tip alone is a total game-changer if you take it seriously and literally.
7. Set Pampering Appointments
While I'm more an advocate of bucket lists or goal-setting instead of resolutions, if you are a resolutions kind of woman, please make sure that pampering is on the top of your list for the new year. While it took me getting well into my 30s before I embraced how essential pampering is, it's extremely important to do, just what the definition says—"to treat or gratify with extreme or excessive indulgence, kindness, or care". For the record, pampering IS NOT maintenance. What I mean by that is, if you're gonna pamper yourself in the bath, make sure there are rose petals, champagne and some milk in your water. If you're gonna get a pedicure, pay for the higher end kind. If you like wine, get it from somewhere other than the grocery store. If it's time for new panties, make sure a couple of pair are lace and in your favorite color.
Remember that the key words of pamper are "extreme" and "excessive". It's not about if it "makes sense" so much as it makes you feel very special and extremely adored. Every woman needs to feel that way, so every woman needs 1) a pampering budget and 2) to make pampering a monthly priority.
There's no time like the present to set aside some cash and to make some hair, nail and massage appointments for January. Get to it, sis.
8. Upgrade Each Room
OK. When it comes to this particular point, I'm not saying that you have to completely remodel each room because I'm pretty sure we all know that, in order to do that right, you've gotta have more than a couple of bucks in your bank account. But since the new year is all about being out with the old and in with the new, you can use the next couple of months to bring in some new and affordable additions. Maybe some new bedding in your bedroom. New throw pillows in your living room. A new set of dishes for your kitchen. A new shower curtain in your bathroom. Or, how about some new window treatments, some different art prints or a different chair in your office? Not too long ago, I purchased some of the coziest looking throw pillows for a corner of one of my rooms and it's amazing how that one upgrade has made my space look completely different. Hey, no one is saying you gotta be Bob Villa over there…but why not give yourself a little something new to look at? You've got time. Use it.
9. Nix Resolutions. Cultivate Goals Instead.
Resolutions typically don't bring forth the best results. But you know what does? Setting goals. The key to this particular recommendation is first that you create long- and short-term goals. Then, follow that up with prioritizing each goal, organizing how to execute them, setting aside time either every day or each week to work on your goal, and then celebrate your accomplishment once you actually reach it.
Say that one of your goals is to do more networking in the new year. This can be the time to research who you want to connect with and how to get in touch with them. Or perhaps your goal is to write your first book. If you want to have a publisher, this is a good time to find a reputable literary agent. If you'd prefer to publish it yourself, find out now how to go about that and get to working on/completing your manuscript. Maybe one of your goals is to become a more positive person. No time like the present to figure out what your "negative triggers" are so that you can remove them from your life.
The thing about waiting until January 1 to put some goals into place is you're basically setting yourself up to be overwhelmed. Planning your goals out now gives you the time and freedom to look at each one from a practical headspace so that you're able to increase your chances of actually reaching them.
10. Get Your Sleep Patterns Together
If you don't make any other plans for the year that is to come, please at least consider getting more rest. The reality that 1 in 3 Americans are walking around here moody, irritable, unable to concentrate, worn out and/or with a weak immune system and low libido and it's because they don't make getting 6-8 hours of sleep a top priority. If you know you could stand to get more zzzs in, use these last few weeks of the year to study your sleep patterns; to get the electronic devices out of your bedroom; to consume less stimulants (like sugar and caffeine) two hours before bedtime; to create a sleep ritual (like a soak in the tub and/or reading a book) and, if need be, to see your doctor so they can see if your lack of rest is tied into a hormonal imbalance or some underlying health concern.
Autumn has been the season when I've been super intentional about getting my world in order for several years now and it's been the absolute best decision. Go into the new year less worried, less preoccupied and less stressed by using this season to prepare for January. Then watch how much easier next year is for you. For real, for real.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
The Libra woman and Aries man are the divine feminine and divine masculine, coming together as one. The love compatibility between these two is one for the books. These two are opposite signs, however, their differences tend to complement each other well. This is a dynamic relationship where they know how to have a lot of fun together, but also aren’t afraid to deal with the more serious stuff that comes with a relationship.
The Libra woman is looking for her equal in love, someone who is willing to put in the same effort she is, and the Aries man sees Libra as someone he is willing to do that with.
The Love Compatibility Of A Libra Woman And An Aries Man
What attracts a Libra woman and an Aries man to each other?
There is a magnet of attraction pulling these two together, and things tend to move pretty fast in this relationship. The Libra woman is always open to love and her charming nature rarely has any challenges here. The Aries man fights for his independence and doesn’t sacrifice that unless he is completely enamored with someone.
Once the Aries man catches the eye of the Libra woman, he is typically the one to make the first move and this instantly wins the approval of Libra.
These two feel like they have known each other forever when they meet, and this spark between them doesn’t die down easily.
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What is the relationship like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The relationship between the Libra woman and the Aries man is one of balance and excitement. The Aries man tends to take on the more dominant role in this relationship and the Libra woman tends to be the more receptive one. Aries is ruled by masculine Mars, and Libra is ruled by feminine Venus. They understand they are coming from two completely different worlds, yet they also instinctively feel this underlying connection to each other and like they could be something each other needs in their lives.
The Libra woman can rely on the Aries man, and the Aries man never has to ask for the love that Libra already knows he needs.
This is a couple that is often reading each other’s minds and wanting to do a lot of the same things. However, not everything is rainbow in this relationship as well, and there are some major differences they have to overcome to make things work. One argument can lead to an explosion between these two, and addressing things when they come up rather than sweeping them under the rug, will be needed to make this relationship long-term.
What is the sex like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The sex between a Libra woman and an Aries man is adventurous. These are two cardinal signs with plenty of energy and stamina to keep things exciting in the bedroom. There tends to be a good give and take in this relationship, and their yin and yang energy benefits them when it comes to their sex life.
There is electricity felt between the two of them in this area of their life, and their power of attraction to each other is strong. These are two people who will want to do a lot of things together, including exploring sexually together.
The Aries man will have to be careful with being overly aggressive, however, as the soft Libra woman may not like this energy- it will completely depend on the two individuals at hand. The Libra woman wants to ease into things, the Aries man wants to get going right away. Learning about each other's bodies, and energy, and reading each other’s cues will help with this.
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What makes a relationship between a Libra woman and an Aries man work?
These two genuinely like each other, and that basis is a key factor for success in any relationship. The Aries man is straight to the point, direct, and inspired. The Libra woman admires these characteristics in others, as she is often herself finding her balance in this type of energy as well. Neither sign is overly emotional in a way that turns them off, and they both require a lot of the same things in a committed relationship. They want honesty, fun, good communication, passion, and to be moving towards a common goal together.
The Libra woman and Aries man don’t have a problem being real with each other and this is something they really value within the relationship. They are both very charming, and there is plenty of flirtation and attraction to keep this relationship going. Aries being the protector they are, Libra finds a sense of safety and ease in this energy, and like they have found their match. Overall, this is a well-balanced relationship and one where they don’t have a problem when it comes to compatibility or chemistry in the relationship.
What may cause a Libra woman and an Aries man to break up?
Libra is the lover, Aries is the fighter, and this energy may be tiring for the both of them after time. The Libra woman can be passive to a fault, and the Aries man who is not evolved, may take advantage of that. She will need to be careful with putting Aries’ needs above her own, creating resentment later down the road. The Aries man loves a challenge, and the Libra woman would be up for that game for a little bit, but if she is not being met in the middle, she will begin to look for other places. These two can have a difficult time keeping the peace in the relationship, and there could be a lot of arguments and disagreements here if they both aren’t willing to put their egos or self-pleasing attitudes to the side.
The Libra woman and Aries man are both more sensitive than they appear or come off as. They are also not necessarily the type to dive deep into their emotions and express them to others, even in their relationships. However, this energy can keep the relationship to a surface level than what is needed to progress and grow the relationship, and a sense of openness is required for this couple to work. Libra needs romance, she wants to be wowed. Aries needs to remember this and to always consider her love language.
Summary
Overall, this is a successful pairing. They will have their fair share of challenges in the relationship, but nothing they can’t overcome if they are willing to. The trouble will come in when it comes to the longevity of the relationship, keeping Aries excited and Libra in love. However, all in all, there is more power, attraction, and love to keep this relationship together rather than apart. No relationship is perfect, but this one is a little more blessed than most.
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