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The "Working Twice As Hard" Mentality Doesn't Work
I have worked at some of the largest corporations in America. I have also worked at some of the best law firms in this country. By most accounts, I would be considered "successful".
For the most part, I felt prepared to work in corporate America, but I must say, I was not prepared to feel some of the inadequacies, loneliness, and - if I'm keeping it all the way 100 - anger that I felt while working in predominantly White corporate environments. I mean, after all, I was basically told my entire life that as long as I worked twice as hard as everyone else, I would do well and climb the corporate ladder. But what I have concluded is that working twice as hard doesn't work and we should stop giving out that advice.
Growing up, I was told, "You have to work twice as hard to get half," or "You need to make sure you don't make mistakes," or better yet, "Never let them see you sweat, cry, or look weak." But after looking at the abysmal numbers of Blacks in the C-Suite, I have concluded that although working twice as hard might help select individuals gain success, bearing the burden of the "twice as hard" mentality has not helped increase the numbers of Blacks at the top of the corporate ladder. So, I think it's time that we start giving out different advice -- work hard and if your company doesn't appreciate you, learn all you can, and then strategically position yourself to own your own company or at a minimum, leave that company.
Plan for success instead of just dreaming about itGetty Images
Numbers don't lie, and we are still underrepresented in almost every major professional field, but the numbers of Black professionals are particularly dismal in the STEM, legal, and medical professions.
Why? Simple. Many of the organizations in which we work were never built with us in mind – not us as Black professionals anyways. Many of us work in corporations, firms, and organizations that started at a time when Blacks and Whites couldn't share a bathroom - let alone an office space. So, it is no wonder that no matter how hard you work as a Black professional, it is possible that you may still be undervalued, underpaid, and overlooked.
Could this be fixed? Here's the thing, if organizations really wanted true diversity, where racially diverse professionals felt valued and free to be themselves, they could obtain that. But in order to effectuate the change companies need to put in place systems by which individual bad behavior could be policed; real systems that punish things like implicit bias, racist remarks from superiors, and inequitable reviews across professionals of different races. But, until organizations put these systems in place and punish those that perpetuate inequality within these organizations, there will never be true racial diversity.
So what's our takeaway? We will never have power if we are seeking it from organizations that were never built with us in mind. Our power is found in knowing who we are absent the approval of unjust systems.
Instead of teaching our kids to work twice as hard to seek the approval of people and companies that simply don't know how to appreciate and respect Black brilliance, let's start teaching our kids that racist systems will never be able to fully value them because many were never built with them in mind, but they are exceptional whether it's recognized or not.
Consider this, if I built my house for people that are three feet tall, could a man that was five feet tall enter my house? Maybe, but it would be uncomfortable and after a while, he would have to leave. Why? Because he would start experiencing pain from being in an environment that was not built for him. Where would he go? Well, probably back to his own home.
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We need to find our own homes.
So, are we helpless? Absolutely not. Find your voice. Believe in yourself. Get centered and ask for wisdom in navigating systems that were never truly built for you in the first place. And, if you want to dominate those systems and organizations, you can, but there's a cost that you have to be willing to pay. Nothing's free.
Here's what I don't think some people understand: when you are Black and every single day you walk into a company where the only other Blacks you see are working in service positions, and not as your professional peers, it weighs on you in a way that is often not discussed. It tells you that you are an anomaly, but overall your people aren't "good enough" to do this job, and, if I am being all the way real, the implication is really that maybe you aren't good enough either.
Before owning my own firm, I remember making a conscious effort, daily, not to internalize the subliminal messages that a predominately White workspace spews out, but it was not easy. And to work in that type of an environment for a certain amount of time requires you to sacrifice a piece of yourself that I am not sure many are willing to sacrifice. What piece? Your voice.
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You are expected to be grateful for a seat at the table, but you are often not invited to talk.
God forbid you want to call out racism or inequality – it can impair your chances of rising to the top. We need to prepare Black professionals early for the very real battles they will face when working in systems that were built at a time when Blacks were only expected to do one thing: serve and service White folks.
At some point, we have to expect greater and not entrust our worth to unjust systems. I learned this the hard way, but in 2018, I left my close to $300,000 a year cushy corporate law firm job to open my own law firm, Mobile General Counsel, which helps entrepreneurs to legally protect their businesses with trademarks and contracts. I also provide gender, generational, and racial diversity trainings to corporations and colleges across the country. The fact that I've been able to help dozens of minority-owned companies is a major plus of my new path, especially since while working for large Chicago-based law firms, none of my corporate clients were Black-owned.
Even though I left corporate America to be an entrepreneur, I don't think we should have to choose between a hostile corporate work environment or entrepreneurship. Companies should work harder to make all employees feel valued, but until they do, don't you worry, know this:
Your brilliance is beyond measure. Your swag stays on one million and despite what your colleagues, superiors, and peers may tell you, you can do anything that you put your mind to.
In case no one has told you today, you are valuable. You are doing a great job. You matter. The world needs your voice. Your ideas are earth shattering and your presence is felt.
If no one else has said this to you, hear it from me, I respect you and I hope that you keep your head up and eyes on the big picture when working while black.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissions@xonecole.com.
Featured image by Getty Images
Originally published March 8, 2019
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Ashley Kirkwood, the self-proclaimed "lit lawyer," is a Northwestern University School of Law graduate, TEDx speaker, and founder of Mobile General Counsel, the trademark focused law firm for entrepreneurs and growing businesses. She also hosts The Currency of Confidence - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to level up your confidence so you can demand what you want out of life. Even though she's a lawyer, she teaches entrepreneurs how to do their own legal work through her fun classes, such as Clapback With Contracts and Get The Tea On Trademarks. Connect with her on Instagram @theashleynicoleshow or @mobilgeneralcounsel. If you want some free legal tips for your business, text 66866 to join Ashley's mailing list!
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Mariee Revere On Her History-Making Million-Dollar Sales And The Future Of MoonXCosmetics
If the name Mariee Revere sounds familiar, it's probably because you heard of her beauty and skincare brand, MoonXCosmetics, or you may have heard about her history-making achievement of making $1.8 million in less than eight minutes. But before starting her million-dollar brand, Mariee was just a teenager trying to cure her acne.
While she grew up in the skincare capital of the world, South Korea, Mariee didn't really experience breakouts until her senior year of high school. Like many people who get their first breakout, she didn't know what to do, and there weren't many products out there at that time. So she decided to experiment. What she didn't know was that what she came up with would ultimately be her ticket to success.
"When I graduated high school, I moved back to America, Georgia, and I ended up making, like, the oil, the Rose Galore oil, which is like the staple product of my brand. I don't know what made me make it, but I did, and it literally cleared my face up," she tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview.
"I end up selling it as a body oil first because, obviously, I'm 17, [and] don't have any background as an esthetician or anything like that. I just made a product that worked for me, but people bought it and was using it, and I reformulated it, and then it just stuck like with me."
While MoonXCosmetics is known for its facial products, it wants to expand to body care and home. It just released its new product, Moon-Gel body wash, and it's only up from there. As Mariee continues to grow the brand, it's more than likely that she will see more history-making moments. And so far she has.
Photo courtesy
When asked if she feels pressure to obtain more of those milestones, she says yes and no. "I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more," she says.
"I want to say more reach than more like fast-paced sales. I do want that. Obviously, every girl wants that, but I do want to have a better overall reach for my brand because I did take two years off so I was able to learn, [and] study a lot of different things. See how things have changed from 2020 to now."
"I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more."
Another part of expanding for any company is hiring people. Finding the right person to help you can be a hassle, especially for business owners who are used to doing all the work themselves. Mariee can relate to this, and she touched on this topic in her documentaryThe Million Dollar Story. She recommends having someone be your "right-hand man" who you trust to handle the ins and outs of the company.
"I could say, definitely get, like a right-hand man to help you within the process because that really was what helped me. I never had a job. I literally was 18 now, being like, you know, the boss of over 30+ employees at one point in time, and I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about no W-2s, no taxes, no clock in, clock out because all I [have] ever known was my brand," she explains.
"So I definitely partner with people who are very skewed and versed in those areas, and they helped me get through it. Even to this day, I still have my same person helping me with hiring, firing, [and] doing everything that I can right now because I'm still learning. But obviously people get jobs young, so they have way more experience than me, but still learning."
And though she is still learning, one thing she makes sure to stay on top of is being consistent. Consistency is what trips many people up when it comes to achieving goals, but Mariee says it's all about scheduling. Whether it's when to post on social media or email marketing, scheduling it out can make a world of difference. That same practice also works when planning out her future goals for the company.
"Right now, future goals would be to drop at least five more products before the end of the year. We always do outreach, where we do drives and all that, but definitely do way more this year, she says. "Then really dive into body [care], and then hopefully open up MoonXBody underneath MoonXCosmetics to let that branch out and be open and definitely get back consistent."
For more information, visit moonxco.com.
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