
Awarding Purity & Preserving Patriarchy: Why I Don't Agree With Scholarships For Virgins

If you thought we were moving away from the topic of purity and premarital sex, guess again.
Brelyn Bowman’s Certificate of Purity set off a national conversation about publicizing and celebrating the status of your hymen last year and months later, the world is revisiting the subject with news of what South Africa is doing for their students.
The mayor in Uthukela, South Africa is awarding young women enrolled in schools with scholarships, not for excelling academically, but for remaining virgins during their time in school. Yep, there are scholarships for virgins. While the road and process to being granted a scholarship is competitive in most countries, students with exceptional academics are awarded grants to further support their education. But is it right to encourage higher education to women by solely making virginity the qualifier for the grant?
According to Mayor Dudu Mazibuko, awarding the college scholarships to female virgins helps students focus on school, while remaining pure–sort of like a rare two-for-one deal in the country. The mayor is said to award 100 scholarships annually to high school and college students in the area due entirety to recent, alarming statistics on pregnancy in the country. TheAssociated Pressreports that SA’s Department of Basic Education “recorded 20,000 pregnancies among girls and young women in schools in 2014, with 223 pregnant girls still in primary (elementary) school.” The recipients voluntarily keep their virginities and consent to regular checks to keep their annual funding.
“Those children who have been award busaries will be checked whenever they come back for holidays. The bursary will be taken away if they lose their virginity,” said spokesman Jabulani Mkhonza.
If you think South Africa is trippin’, it should be noted that virginity testing isn’t something new that spawned from Bowman’s controversy.
Those who advocate for the testing in the country–particularly those of the Zulu tribe, where it’s simply a part of their culture–believe it “promotes abstinence and therefore, reduces the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS or getting pregnant.” In what seems like a public spectacle, the young woman is to have her genitals checked to ensure virginal status. If your hymen isn’t intact, repercussions include isolation from family and the community, financial penalties, and the likelihood that marriage won’t happen for you. Remaining pure is revered and deputy president, Jacob Zuma, believes that more young women should take part in the testing, as a girl’s virginity is her family’s greatest treasure. But why not boys?
Although boys do undergo testing, affirming his virginity is dubious and it doesn’t occur as often as it does for young women, with many believing the testing of young men are to merely create an illusion of equality between the sexes. There is an intense emphasis placed on the woman to keep her legs closed so that she doesn’t contribute to the growing rate of unwed pregnancies, and to keep herself for her future husband so that there will be a higher bride price when she gets married, but it takes two to tango, am I right? Women of all ages are subjected to examinations or revert to presenting certificates from medical doctors, jumping through hoops and over hurdles to prove an intact hymen, while it boils down to accepting words for what it is from men.
It seems no matter where you live, the policing of women’s bodies is normative, sexist behavior, rooted and preserved in patriarchy. While I understand these examinations are cultural in South Africa and presenting purity certificates stem from religious backgrounds, I do believe it is a direct violation of our human rights. It is in these epidemic testings that women are stamped with labels, dividing the pure and holy from the ungodly and rebellious, and indicating the notion that young women are responsible for sexual activity alone.
While Mazibuko just wants to “say thank you for keeping yourself,” it is my belief that by defending the testing, the mayor isn’t aware of how many women seeking higher education are victims of sexual assault and incest. It’s unfortunate that those women, many of whom cannot afford tuition, won’t be afforded the opportunity because of their bodies. If they want to make a change and combat HIV/AIDS, why not offer sex education curriculums in places other than secondary school? It is unfortunate that girls as young as eight and nine are victims to sexual abuse at home or at school and become children raising children.
But not everyone feels like the scholarships are a violation of their human rights, especially after tuition hikes last year. It has helped one second-year pharmacy student enrolled at Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University who takes pride in being a virgin at her age. She spoke with All Africa about her experience and why she chooses to abstain from sex.
“The day I went there, they were awarding bursaries. The next day I received a phone call to bring my results and they told me to come to the municipality. I was surprised when I got a call from the municipality saying that they would pay for my school fees. They asked me if I was a virgin and if I tested regularly and I said yes. I am proud to be a virgin, I did not know it could open so many doors for me. I did not know I could get something out of it...I do get tempted to have sex, but I have seen things happening in this world and I don't trust men.My father has two wives and he is already struggling to cope. There are three of us at home. This motivates me to do well and give back at home. When I finish my studies I am going to give back by helping other pupils in my hometown.”
Where do you stand on the topic? Should you be awarded for your virginity or should your academic background do all the talking when it comes to scholarships?
Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Soul Brother/Soul B Photos/Shutterstock