8 Strategies For Introverts To Excel In The Workplace
At 22, I received my first managerial position and struggled within the first few months.
I literally would get anxiety when I had to use my voice to speak with my team or when I was responsible for leading strategy meetings with internal and external partners.
If I had it my way back then, I would've definitely preferred to do all of my work from the comfort of my laptop instead of verbally and physically engaging with other people. I know it may sound crazy, but I used to be the introvert of all introverts. Over time, I had to learn how to crawl out of my shell and speak up because by not doing so, it wasn't serving my team or clients, and it definitely wasn't helping me in my career.
If the 22-year-old version of me is speaking to your ministry and you need some real tips on how to speak up at work so that your skills and value aren't ignored, keep reading.
Know that being a boss is in your DNA.
People often assume that extroverts make better leaders because they are more talkative and visibly energetic, but research shows that introverts are actually more effective leaders when placed in difficult and unexpected situations. So if you're an introvert, own that shit. You were born to lead.
Don’t sleep on your alone time.
As an introvert, you thrive when you're able to work alone. This not only makes you happy, but if you're like me, it gives you energy because there are no distractions or people to throw your vibes off. If you're getting ready to enter a meeting or a networking event with your team, make sure that you take advantage of your alone time so that you can recharge. When you're energized and have had time to take care of you, you're more likely to better engage with others.
Always be prepared.
Oftentimes in team meetings, if you're an introvert, you may opt-in for quietly taking notes instead of engaging in the conversation. If so, try getting the meeting agenda ahead of time and practicing what you want to contribute prior to the meeting. By being aware of what's going to be discussed and practicing what you're going to say, it'll make you more confident once the time to speak is here.
Take advantage of 1:1s.
As an introvert, you're probably more comfortable with speaking one-on-one with a colleague instead of talking with groups of people. If so, use this to your advantage to network within the company and share your expertise. For most managers, it's mandatory that they have one-on-ones with their employees, so use these opportunities to get to know your boss better, ask for tips on your professional growth, and of course, talk about the value that you've brought to the team. Like always, prepare what you're going to say ahead of time (write it down if needed) and you'll be on your way to making your next one-on-one meeting worthwhile.
Speak like the queen you are.
How you speak about yourself and whatever else you're talking about will showcase your confidence. It's important that when you communicate, you remove vocabulary that hints at self-doubt or uncertainty. When you talk, intentionally practice speaking affirmatively and with authority. Limit phrases and words like "I think," "probably", and "maybe", and try to remove filler words like "ummm".
The more you speak with authority, the more confidence will exude from you.
Watch your body language.
The way that you carry yourself sends an incredibly strong message about who you are and your confidence. When you're at work, be mindful of the way you stand or even sit at your desk. Hold your chin up, your back straight, and don't be scared to look at your team members in the eye when talking. I know from experience that it'll be awkward AF in the beginning, but if you do this regularly, you'll begin to feel relaxed and comfortable in your own skin.
Be unapologetic when you boss up.
I recently heard someone say, "If I don't root for me, who will?" People often miss out on opportunities because they're uncomfortable with tooting their own horn. Always remember queen, promoting yourself and sharing your wins isn't bragging. If you don't share what you do and your accomplishments, how will someone know that you're the best person for "X" opportunity? Find and/or create opportunities where you can update your boss and coworkers about your wins and your contribution to projects that have gone well. A few ways you can do this is by sharing it in a one-on-one, updating it on your LinkedIn profile, or self-nominating yourself for an award at work if the opportunity presents itself.
Get comfortable with reclaiming your time.
Because you're an introvert, people will probably cut you off when talking at a meeting. When that happens, don't fret, take it like a boss. Regain your chill and control of the conversation by throwing up the church finger and politely reclaim your time by saying, "Great feedback [insert name here]. I actually had a couple more thoughts to share with you on that." From there, finish speaking and then take control of the conversation by asking for feedback on what you just shared.
As you enter your workplace and start implementing these tips, keep in mind that you're doing both you and your company a disservice by not speaking up at work and being vocal about your value and expertise. You're a boss woman in your own unique way so never let being an introvert keep you from getting the opportunities that were created for you.
Featured image by Shutterstock.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How To Tap Into Your Inner Confidence As An Introvert
The Introverted Girl's Guide To Office Networking
What Exactly Is An Ambivert? How Can You Tell If You Are One?
The Millennial's Guide To Managing Up
- The Introvert's Guide to the Workplace | Book by Thea Orozco ... ›
- You don't need to yell to be heard | LinkedIn ›
- Struggling to be Heard in Meetings? Tips for Introverts ›
- How To Survive (And Even Thrive) As An Introvert At Work | HuffPost ... ›
- Rochelle Barrish: A quiet, shy introvert's guide to being seen & heard ›
- Are You An Introvert? 8 Ways To Make Introversion Your Superpower ›
- Nine Tips To Help Introverted Leaders Succeed In The Workplace ›
- How to Be Heard as an Introvert in the Workplace ›
- An Introvert's Guide to Surviving on the Job - Guides - The New York ... ›
Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images