

It can be so easy to get distracted or even discouraged; especially when the wins are few and far between.
Focus.
Know what you want to accomplish and figure out what needs to be done to do so. Set big goals, goals that may seem unattainable to someone else; then do what's necessary to get closer to achieving them. By taking small steps and making progress towards whatever it is that you're after, you get to win a little bit at a time. Celebrate that.
A win is a win. Acknowledging even the smallest wins and giving yourself a pat on the back will motivate you to keep going.
It's natural to want to stop when you don't see results because we feel as though what we're doing is not working. But it is.
When we congratulate ourselves for our achievements, the fire we need to keep going remains lit.
Nobody can dim your light except you.
You must know that you don't need anyone's validation regarding your win, because it's yours. Remember that success doesn't look the same for everyone because everyone doesn't have the same concept of it. What's a win for you may not be for someone else, and that's fine. Your vision isn't meant to be seen or understood by everyone, because it's your vision. Don't let that deter you from what you're after. You'll have some people that get it, and some that don't; then there are those that see the excellence in you but try to downplay it in an effort to deter you.
Celebrate consistency.
You know what you're capable of, and even if you're not sure, be strong enough to continue anyway. Things will happen the way they should. The saying "hard work beats talent" is such a true statement because there are so many people that have the talent but don't have the will. If you have the will to succeed, then you're going to do just that. Consistency in itself is an accomplishment, toot your own horn just because you've maintained consistency. Giving up is so easy, so if you have decided not to, that's a win. Celebrate that.
Allow progress to push you forward.
When you take notice to every win, attaining the bigger goal doesn't seem so farfetched. It's like when you have a to-do list, checking off the smallest things gives you a sense of accomplishment and even lightens the load. Counting the small wins has this very same affect. You're able to see the progress you've made and how that progress has pushed you a little further toward what you're trying to achieve.
Round of applause.
We cheat ourselves when we don't find some form of happiness in the progress we've made. Giving recognition to the things we accomplish is so necessary for us to keep going. We must learn to build ourselves up, and clap for ourselves even if there is no one else around. In a world where validation is at the forefront of everything that we do, self-validation is all that matters. This is necessary for us to be strong enough to keep going when there's no one around to tell us to.
Have the will to keep going, find happiness in how far you've came and celebrate every milestone along the way.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissions@xonecole.com.
Featured image by Plume Creative/Getty Images.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Swipe Right For Sisterhood: Reginae Carter Talks Teaming Up With BLK To Make Friendships Front & Center
You know the vibes: dating apps aren’t just for finding romance anymore—at least not for Gen Z! As young people continue to redefine connection, BLK, the leading dating app for Black singles, is shaking things up with the launch of Social Mode. The new feature allows users to toggle between dating and platonic connections. Yep, you read that right—friendship is now just as easy to find as love.
To kick off this game-changing launch, BLK teamed up with TV personality and socialite Reginae Carter for the ultimate Girls’ Night In, proving that sisterhood is just as important as romance. The exclusive event was a celebration of the new feature and the power of Black women coming together to uplift one another.
“Your circle is everything,” Reginae shares with a smile, and she’s not wrong. She’s all about creating spaces where we can come together, let our hair down, and vibe with like-minded women. “We deserve spaces to meet, uplift, and vibe with each other. BLK is making that happen,” she adds.
A New Era for Friendships—Social Mode Is Here!
Gen Z is all about building meaningful connections, whether it’s with a date or a new brunch buddy. That’s why Social Mode is such a big deal. Research shows that 65% of Gen Z values friendships just as much as romantic relationships. With BLK’s new feature, users can easily toggle between “Dating” and “Social,” opening up a world of platonic connections—no swiping right required.
Bahja Rodriguez, Reginae Carter, Breaunna Womack, Lourdes Rodriguez and Zonnique Pullins attend OMG Girlz "Make A Scene" Single Release & Video Viewing Party at Trap City Cafe on March 27, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia
Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage
Reginae Carter Hosts the Ultimate Girls’ Night In—Powered by BLK Social Mode
What better way to show Social Mode in action than with an exclusive Girls’ Night In, hosted by Reginae? The event brought together top influencers, tastemakers, and press for a night of luxury, self-care, and real talk about love, sex, and relationships. From tarot readings to perfume-making and signature cocktails, the evening embodied the “soft life” vibe that many Black women are embracing in 2025—peaceful, intentional, and full of joy.
Guests mingled, laughed, and bonded over the importance of finding a tribe that supports you. It wasn’t just about fun (although there was plenty of that!)—it was about creating a circle of inspiring, strong women. “We need to stick together. We need to be each other’s village,” Reginae says, emphasizing the power of community over competition.
Sisterhood: The Real MVP
For Reginae, it’s all about friendship—and not just the surface-level kind. “We need friends who keep it real with us. The ones who can tell us when we’re right, when we’re wrong, and when we need to calm down,” she says. As someone who navigates the spotlight, she’s got the best of both worlds: friends who understand the grind and those who can give her an honest, grounded perspective.
Her advice for building strong, intentional friendships? “Be confident in yourself and know your worth,” she explains. “Also, hurt people hurt people, so make sure you’re coming from a good place when you’re building relationships. It’s not always about being nice—sometimes it’s about being real.”
Reginae couldn’t have summed it up better: “When you have the right circle, the right tribe, everything just feels easier. And that’s exactly what BLK is giving us—space to connect, laugh, and grow with each other.”
To learn more about BLK’s Social Mode, download or update the BLK app in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Who knows? You might just find your new bestie or your next brunch crew.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage