Want To Lead A Fuller Life? Set These 10 Intentions
If you were to ask another person or even yourself what a full life means, you will probably get a million different answers. As for me, I used to think that a full life just consisted of a life with a lot of material things. You know the six-figure salary, designer bags, shoes, and cars. But as I grow and evolve, I realize that a full life to me is more than that. I think we all can agree that a life where we are happy, fulfilled, loved, and have no regrets is the ultimate goal. I recognize that if I am happy and live life with no regrets, those other things like my dream job, dream closet, and dream man will undoubtedly come too. For example, I'm shown time and time again that if I practice gratitude for what I already have, I am constantly blessed with more.
So, how do you lead a full life? Well, I've found that setting intentions for myself helped get me started on the path to fulfillment. Intentions can be set daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly. It's truly up to the individual. To get started, first think about who you are at this very moment. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made but, are we operating as such? Oftentimes we are not. Now, think about who you want to be and how you want to show up in this world. This is where intention-setting comes into play. Intentions are simply hopes and manifestations of who you know that you can be and who you truly are. By setting intentions and then operating as such, you open yourself up to a deep sense of inner fulfillment that cannot be touched.
So no matter what your definition of a full life may be, these 10 intentions are sure to be a great start on the path to the full life that you were destined to live.
1. "I intend to forgive myself and others."
If you're anything like me, you probably find it easier to forgive others than yourself and that's saying something because I have been known to hold a grudge or two. But listen, it is so important to give yourself the grace that you so graciously extend to others. Some of us can be our own worst critics. You made a mistake. It's not the end of the world, no matter what it is. Learn from it, grow from it, forgive yourself, and release it.
As for forgiving others, it's indeed more for you than the person that needs forgiving. Holding anger and grudges in your heart isn't good for you. Forgive. Practice this intention until it becomes second nature.
2. "I intend to love myself unconditionally."
This may be cliche but self-love really is the best love. This intention is one I set for myself daily and sometimes multiple times a day as it can be easy to forget as we move throughout the day. Vowing to love yourself no matter what sets the tone for your life and your life's experiences. I once heard someone say that self-love is the bridge to where you want to go in life and how you show up, and I couldn't agree more.
3. "I intend to not let fear stop me from trying new things."
My good sis Beyonce said it best when she said that none of her fears can go where she is headed. So many amazing things are on the other side of fear. Last November, I decided to move to a new city. I had been in my previous city for almost 20 years. It was scary leaving the city that I was so familiar with and where all my friends lived to a city where I knew a total of about three people. This decision turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made in a long time. Set the intention to try a new thing every day and watch your life transform.
4. "I intend to practice gratitude."
I believe in this one so much. I feel that when you practice gratitude, it immediately puts you in a better mood because you are no longer focused on what you lack but instead focused on what you have. Also what better way to tell the universe that you are ready to receive more than to be thankful for what you already have.
5. "I intend to see the goodness around me."
It can be hard to see the goodness around you when there are so many things going on, especially this past year. We've had to deal with so much in 2020; COVID-19, death, sickness, quarantine, political unrest, inequality, and racism just to name a few. But despite all the negative things going on in the world, there is still so much goodness. You just have to look for it. I know that some days will be harder than others to see it but I promise it's there. Set this intention and begin to see all the good that is happening all around you.
6. "I intend to be happy."
Happiness is a choice. Tough times and not so great things are a part of life and often out of our control. It's how we choose to respond to them that is up to us. It is human to be down or sad about the things that happen in our lives. But it is up to us how long we stay in that place. When I am going through a tough time, I allow myself time to feel my feelings but then I set the intention to be happy regardless. I surround myself with the people, places, and things that make me happy. If you set the intention to be happy, you will be happy.
7. "I intend to listen better and not just react off of emotions."
This one right here. Pray for my strength, y'all. I have a bad habit of listening to respond instead of listening to understand. I know, I know, I'm working on it though. We all think that what we have to say is more important than what the other person has to say. But I have to admit that I have learned more by listening than by talking. Not to mention, setting this intention will make you a better friend, employee, employer, spouse, and/or partner.
8. "I intend to let go of the past and things that I cannot change."
It happened. You can't go back and change it no matter how much you wish that you could so you might as well make peace with it. Setting this intention will save you a lot of anxiety. Trust me. Learn from it and then release it.
9. "I intend to trust that I am where I am supposed to be."
The world can sometimes make you feel like you are behind but please trust that you are not. There is no magic age for getting married or having kids. Nor is there an age limit on finding your passion. Setting this intention is a beautiful and necessary reminder that what is meant for you won't ever miss you and will happen when it is supposed to happen.
10. "I intend to appreciate and enjoy life."
If I've learned nothing else in 2020, I've learned that life is precious. Set an intention to be appreciative of the life that you have and actually enjoy it. Too often we forget that life is meant to be enjoyed because we are so laser-focused on work and building empires. Don't get me wrong, those things are important too but you can't forget to live. I once read an article that talked about some of the regrets that people on their deathbed had. One of them was that they wish they hadn't spent so much time working. Enjoy yourself from time to time. Work will be there when you get back.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!Featured image by Shutterstock
- Gabrielle Union Learned This Life Lesson After Putting A Positive ... ›
- The Role Mindfulness & Intention Has Played In Her Life & Career ... ›
- Get Your Whole Life: Amplify Your Meditation Rituals With Crystals ... ›
- Daily Routine for Healthy Body and Mind for Successful Women - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
Not too long ago, while in a session with one of my clients, they were talking to me about having strong sex cravings that seemed to have come out of nowhere. After asking some questions for clarity’s sake, I got that the reason why they used the word “craving” is because it’s not like they are hornier than usual all of the time. Nah, it’s more like the urge creeps up at some pretty random and/or unexpected moments. What they wanted to know from me was if I thought that it was normal.
The short answer is “yes.”
Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy