Gabrielle Union Learned This Life Lesson After Putting A Positive Pregnancy Test On Her Vision Board
It's no secret that going from internalizing our ideas to visualizing them increases the chances of our thoughts becoming things.
Cue in the power of vision boards — a crafty way of using pictures and objects pasted onto a board that you reflect on daily. The irony is, while vision boards are great at displaying and ingraining our dreams, many people are sleeping on 'em. But not Miss Union.
Recently, actress Gabrielle Union got honest about her more intimate goal initiatives when she revealed she keeps a pregnancy test on her own dream board. And not just any test, but a positive one. The author told Redbook:
"I make a vision board every year. Some of the pictures on my first one were of a haircare line, Kenya, and a Clearblue pregnancy test.... The only things that have not come to pass are a cosmetics line, Machu Picchu, and a baby."
But perhaps as important as the power of intention, is the necessity of specificity, something even Gabby is learning. Too often we are modest with our personal demands, as if we fear God or the universe will deem us greedy or ungrateful if we were to "ask for too much," in turn punishing us with absolutely nothing. So we can be very general in asking for our wants, versus being very specific about our desires.
"I've had the positive [pregnancy test] stick, but also a number of miscarriages, so maybe I just have to go more specific and show a woman with a human being traveling through her orifices. I'll put those things back on this year's board and see what happens."
Last year, the wife and stepmom opened up about coming down with a case of the (Clear)blues after suffering 8-9 miscarriages during her attempts at getting pregnant via IVF. However, despite the losses, Gabby doesn't discredit her wins, but instead, only reaffirms the power of being intentional when it comes to goal-setting and being very detailed and specific when it comes to the life you want.
Despite her strengths, Gabby also has her weaknesses when it comes to staying true to her intentions. Part of what contributes to this is a lack of self-compassion, something even Gabby was quick to admit she also struggles with. The 45-year-old later goes on to open up about the dangers of the self-doubt that settles in once you actually get what you want:
"Over the years, I'd been approached with ideas for things like my own clothing line, and I'd have those momentary feelings of, 'I got picked! Yay!' And then it was, 'Oh God, they're going to figure out that I have no value.' Part of that is I didn't have my own style. I was always looking to others for outside validation, so I would've basically been like,'Well, who's popular right now? Let's try to look like that person.' If you don't have your own style, how are you going to design a line?'"
"As goals manifest, I've been able to look at my boards and say, 'Damn, I put in a lot of work and deserve it.' That's helped me to stop feeling suspicious of joy. To not sabotage something before I've had a chance to do it because I assume I'll be rejected."
Okay, serious question ladies — when will we start accepting that when it comes to our own joy, and the wonderful things that we manifest into our lives, that we not only deserve it, we've earned it?
Unfortunately, Gabby's feelings of self-sabotage are all too familiar and common, especially in the ambitious woman. And while being a perfectionist may have its perks, self-condemnation is the curse of perfectionism, and perfectionism turns into punishment real quick when we fail to forgive our naturally flawed selves.
In the meantime, it's important to keep in mind that life is not about perfection, it's about perspective. Gabrielle Union doesn't simply use or view her vision board as a "wish list," so much as she does a "checklist." She's done this, so she deserves that! And quite frankly, so do you!
And while the 45-year-old star is still waiting and anticipating adding "mom" to her resume, she is making sure to count her blessings along the way. Word of advice, make a "happy list," folks:
"I started working with a life coach who asked me to list things that make me happy, and one of my top three was imitation crab! You're not on the right track if you say imitation crab. So the life coach started to ask questions: 'What don't you like? What annoys you? Have you ever experienced euphoria?' Examine those moments and you'll start to figure out who you really are."
Duly noted, Mrs. Union-Wade!
Read Gabrielle's full feature story for the March 2018 issue of Redbook here.
- 10 Intentions To Set For A Fuller Life - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Setting Intentions For The New Year, How To - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- The Reason Vision Boards Work and How to Make One | HuffPost ›
- Vision Board Ideas & How to Make Yours Better | Jack Canfield ›
- The Best Way to Make a Vision Board - wikiHow ›
- How To Make A Vision Board That Actually Works ⋆ Christie Inge ›
- Throw Away Your Vision Board | Psychology Today ›
- How to create a goal-setting vision board | Well+Good ›
- 10 Intentions To Set For Your Most Authentic Life - mindbodygreen ›
- 5 Steps to Setting Powerful Intentions | The Chopra Center ›
- Law of Attraction in Action: Start Your Day with Positive Intentions ... ›
- The Principle of Positive Intention ›
- 3 Steps to Setting a Positive Intention ›
- 25 Positive Intentions — Better Bones ›
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage