Although plums are not the first fruit that I will grab out of the produce section, I must admit that I can get down with some from time to time. As I was trying to figure out why this seems to be the time of year when they pique my interest the most, I realized that they are in season between July and October (which means I tend to see them more in the store). Ah, so maybe that’s also why I’m such a fan of plum cobbler, plum salsa (hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it!), and, as of this year, plum oil, too, right when the seasons are ready to…shift.
To tell you the truth, I’m not exactly sure how I got sold on plum oil — all I know is that since I’ve been using it (especially on my skin), I have been seeing a major difference. So, if you’re looking for a new oil to try as the weather prepares to get cooler in temperature, give me a minute (or two) to give you some solid reasons why you should definitely add plum oil to your natural beauty regimen.
What Is Plum Oil?
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Okay, so plum oil is pretty much what you think it is: it’s oil that derives from the kernels of plums. And since plums contain nutrients like vitamins A, multiple forms of B, C, and E, potassium, copper, and magnesium, along with fatty acids, anti-inflammatory, and hydration properties, it’s fast becoming a must-have oil for many popular beauty and cosmetic brands.
Not only that, but many also consider plum oil to be a “gourmet oil” for cooking and baking because it has virtually no flavor, contains zero trans fat, and it has a high-temperature point for frying. Believe it or not, some people even make homemade ice cream with plum oil (no joke). You can check out a recipe here.
As far as where to purchase plum oil, let me just say off the rip that it’s not the cheapest oil in the world. Oh, but it is so worth it! As far as the brand that I personally use, it’s called Liquid Gold, and merchants on Amazon tend to sell a four-ounce bottle of it for like ten bucks (or 128 ounces for a little under seventy bucks). Walmart claims to carry a different kind of plum oil online (here); I’ve never purchased the brands that they carry before, but I’m just putting that out there as an FYI. I can totally vouch for the brand that I use, though — it’s light, deeply penetrating, and gives my skin a healthy glow.
That being said, let’s get into why I think plum oil is the ultimate beauty oil for the fall season and beyond.
How Plum Oil Benefits Your Skin
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What first got me into plum oil was that I was looking for a sealant oil for my skin; meaning, I was looking for a lightweight oil that I could apply to my skin right when I got out of the shower so that I could “lock in” hydration and not have to apply any lotion (I haven’t used lotion in years at this point). What sold me on plum oil is what it did for my back. My skin is particularly dry back there, and so, between how moisturized my back felt along with how plum oil seemed to fade any discoloration I had without breaking out my skin in the process — yeah, that made it a fan favorite right out the gate.
I’m not alone. Plum oil is well-known for reducing oxidative skin stress, repairing damaged skin cells, balancing sebum production, and helping to heal acne and the marks it leaves behind. Plum oil also stimulates the production of collagen (so that your skin is able to look younger longer) and it doesn’t clog pores in the process. So, if you happen to have oily, combination, or acne-prone skin, this is the oil for you.
How Plum Oil Benefits Your Hair
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Since plum oil won’t clog up your pores, this means that it also won’t clog up your hair follicles, which makes it a great oil if you’re looking for one that will help to prevent dry scalp or if you want a base for a hot oil treatment (which are always awesome because they can increase blood circulation to your scalp, revive dry and brittle hair and help to strengthen the roots of your hair over time).
Other ways that plum oil does wonders for your hair is if you happen to have tresses that are color-treated or you tend to apply heat on a semi-regular basis, the linoleic acid and vitamin E that’s in plum oil can add hydration to your hair, protect it from thermal heat and even reduce your chances of encountering split ends. Personally, although I’ve just recently been using plum oil on my own locks, I have noticed that my ends feel softer when I put some plum oil on them at night.
I’ve also used it as an oil that I’ve applied to my hair before shampooing it, and it’s so much easier to detangle as a direct result. Yeah, more and more, plum oil and I are becoming the best of friends.
How Plum Oil Benefits Your Nails
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Something else that plums have in them is stearic acid. It’s a type of fatty acid that retains moisture, helps to reduce eczema-related symptoms, and reduces inflammation. On your nails, this all can be beneficial because the oil can help your nails from drying out, keep your cuticles soft (raggedy cuticles are the whole worst!), and help to keep your nails strong and flexible (so that they won’t be so prone to breakage). My recommendation would be to rub a bit of pure, warm plum oil on your nails and cuticles every other night before turning in.
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Now, I’m hoping that it goes without saying that if you’re allergic to plums, plum oil is something that you should take a pass on. For everyone else, though — if, like me, you can get down with snacking on a plum sometimes, why not take it up a notch and invest in some of this oil for the sake of your skin, hair, and nails? For the longest, my favorite beauty oil has been rosemary… Oh, but plum oil is gaining on it — and that is really saying something!
C’mon sis, try a bottle. If it doesn’t work out, hit me up, and I’ll let you know where to send it to me, chile (I’m not kidding either!). Something tells me that you’ll enjoy it, though. Just in time for fall.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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