I'm Setting My Intentions To Lead A More Purposed & Fulfilled Year
For many of us, 2020 was the most intense year we've ever lived. Talk about the roller coaster of events: from the pandemic, losing loved ones, jobs, police brutality making headline news and continuous protesting, to an intense ass election year, and finally having a Black and South Asian woman Vice President! Just thinking it through now, 2020 has been a wild year to navigate everyone's emotions and mental headspace. So many people lost their professions that they've been practicing for years and had to learn to pursue other professions just to get by. If there is one thing 2020 has taught us is that we need to be flexible with how life goes; everything doesn't always happen on our clock, and that's OK – God has something better for us to pursue in the meantime.
Adaptability is a trait that everyone has had to pick up one way or another due to life's circumstances. This year has brought so many people together and finally open to reconciliation. If there is one thing 2020 has shown me is to be patient and be intentional. In lieu of this, I've decided to opt for intention-setting in 2021 versus goal-setting. While every goal might not be checked off, the intentionality behind the way I hope to navigate the year ahead will always remain, which in a lot of ways feels more impactful. Keep reading to learn more about the intentions I'm setting for mental health, career, and love in 2021.
Mental Health intentions for 2021
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I don't know about y'all, but my mental health was the most affected in 2020. It's such an odd feeling to have no real control of setting up your future because things keep changing, events keep canceling, and it's such a weird recession that some industries are thriving, and others are failing excessively. Our top tier intention this year is stabilizing our mental; however, that may look like.
If meditating or breathing techniques for 15 minutes a day relieves stress for you, make time for it, don't put it on the back burner. Journaling is a great way to organize and analyze your emotions, get that morning or evening workout in at home; I'm sure we've all set up a little home gym by now. If you haven't sought therapy prior, maybe now is a great time to start.
Mental health professions have recorded this year being a huge increase in anxiety and depression, and many insurances have lowered co-pays or made it free so more people can access therapy.
Career intentions for 2021
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I'm sure 2020 has equipped everyone with new skill sets and being more open-minded on their career intentions. This year has taught us not to put all of our eggs in one basket because we don't know how things will pan out, so you could be working one job, but how are you growing your wealth in other areas? Recessions are one of the best seasons to start boosting your financial literacy, flipping and buying homes, investing in stocks, bonds, paying off debt, etc. I know we would all love to have more social events in our lives right now, but this is a season of diligence, act smarter with less versus having more.
It's a great time for creatives of all areas to start that business they have been dreaming of; small businesses are thriving, especially in the Black market when society finally realized we don't have to just invest in one Black brand; we can invest in several other ones – after all, we aren't a monolith, we all have something different to offer. If you want that promotion, start seeking those online classes or resources to build your skill sets to perform at a higher level at your job.
Just cause life is out of whack right now, don't lose focus, set your intentions, and leave room for grace but stay disciplined with achieving your goals.
Love intentions for 2021
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Everyone, this is a season of reconciliation in every loving relationship, whether it's platonic or romantic. This is a time frame for all of us where we have to learn to forgive our loved ones and talk through things no matter how painful it is. If there is one thing COVID has taught us, no one knows their time, and life is very precious – give people their flowers while they're alive. We have to learn to meet each other where we are versus where we want people to be.
Love is everything but selfish; it's selfless. The more we set our intentions on healing, the more we can enjoy each other's company and the less stress we have from avoiding one another. Put your pride aside to work things out with your significant other, family member, or friends you haven't spoken to in months; it's not worth the fight.
None of us knows what 2021 has to offer us, but we have to stay present and focus on being grateful for what we have now because it could be so much worse. We're so used to having so much; it makes us unfortunate to be fulfilled with the little we do have. We still can't fill our entire year with plans, but we could take it day by day and appreciate what we can do to bring us happiness in the meantime. Life isn't supposed to be predictable, so we have to learn to keep adjusting to make the best of this season based on the doors opened to us now.
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Ajeé Buggam is a content writer and fashion designer from New York City and an alumna from the Fashion Institute of Technology. She specializes in writing about race, social injustice, relationships, feminism, entrepreneurship, and mental wellness. Check out her recent work at Notes To Self
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images