Recently, while getting my monthly waxing down below, my waxer was commenting on how healthy my vagina — well, technically it’s my vulva — looks for my age. Lawd, where has the time gone when I’m finally at the point and place where “for my age” is following more and more comments? LOL. Anyway, when I asked her to expound, she went on to say that as women get older, it’s not uncommon to notice more sagging (check out “Vaginas Age Just Like Everything Else. You Can Slow It Down, Though.” and “Keep Your Vagina Like A (Literal) Fountain Of Youth”) and some discoloration as well.
As I was on my back, legs open and looking up at the ceiling, waiting for her to finish, I first thanked her for the compliment. Then I let her know that, indirectly, she was gonna help me with my next writing check from this platform — because what she said about vaginal discoloration was going to inspire me to do some additional research. And I did.
That said, whether you glance at your vagina on a daily basis, you only do it while you’re in the process of doing a vaginal self-exam (which is always wise), or you’re someone who doesn’t give how your va-jay-jay looks much thought unless you’ve scheduled a professional maintenance appointment or you’re “prepping” for a really hot night (check out “12 Men Told Me What They Love So Much About Vaginas”) — although this is a topic that you may not have considered before, I think you might find a few of these tips to be quite beneficial. That is, if you want to keep your vagina — well, vulva — looking radiant and youthful for as long as you possibly can, anyway.
Check it out.
Vaginal Hyperpigmentation. What’s the Cause?
Getty Images
Hyperpigmentation. When it comes to your vulva (the outer part of your vagina), whether you couldn’t care less about it or having some low-key irks you to no end, the first thing that you should know is that it’s pretty normal. Although it somewhat varies from person to person, it is important to always keep in mind that there are certain factors that can play a role in just how dark parts of your skin — again, in this case, your vulva — can get.
Factors like what? Well, for starters, your skin contains cells that are known as melanocytes; they are somewhat sensitive to your body’s natural hormones.
So, as your hormones shift (like during puberty, pregnancy, and the later stages of perimenopause), that can cause your skin to get darker when it comes to your vulva, nipples, and even your anus. Something else that can cause hyperpigmentation is constant friction (which is just one more reason to keep wearing super tight pants down to a minimum).
This is because friction can cause bodily inflammation (I just read that rosemary is the best herb for treating inflammation, by the way), and that can lead to discoloration. It should also go on record that sometimes skin experiences hyperpigmentation wherever “folds” in the skin happen (like your underarms or if your vaginal lips are “meaty”). Oh, and if you shave and get ingrown hairs or pimples, that can be a part of the culprit as well.
Are these the only things that can make vaginal hyperpigmentation happen? No. In fact, if your skin down there is super itchy or irritated (and you know that it’s not due to something like BV or ayeast infection), you should get your doctor to check it out. It could be because of an underlying condition like (possibly) diabetes, an STI/STD, or even PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).
However, the other causes that I mentioned tend to be the ones that are the most common. And for those, I have 10 all-natural things that you can do at home to 1) help to prevent vaginal hyperpigmentation from transpiring and/or 2) help to even out your vulva’s skin tone if some discoloration has already taken place.
10 All-Natural Things You Can Do At Home To Prevent Vaginal Hyperpigmentation
1. Make Sure Your Panties Are “Breathable”
Getty Images
Okay, so for those of you who don’t wear any drawers (check out “10 Women Told Me Why They Stopped Wearing Panties (And They Don't Regret It)”), this first tip won’t apply. For the rest of us, though, just like tight jeans (for instance) can cause friction in your vaginal region, so can panties that won’t let your vagina breathe (whether it’s due to sizing or fabrics like spandex or nylon).
The method to the madness here is air carries oxygen andoxygen helps to give your skin the nutrients that it needs to remain healthy. Plus, looser underwear that’s made out of a breathable fabric also prevents chafing that could cause discoloration too. Now that you know this, if you’re not sure if you’re currently wearing the type of undies that are best for your vagina and vulva, I’ve got you covered (no pun intended). Check out “These Are The Kinds Of Panties Your Vagina Actually Prefers”.
2. Exfoliate Your Pubic Mound
Getty Images
You know how I mentioned my waxer in the intro? Sometimes, she has some pretty wild stories about what happens when she gives someone a Brazilian wax for the first time (yeah, y’all can keep that). Since she said that it can take a good 4-6 months for 1) it not to hurt as much as it initially does and 2) for a person’s skin to fully recover, something that she recommends doing (2-3 days following your hair removal appointment) is exfoliatingyour pubic mound (the fatty area that covers your pelvic region).
Exfoliation helps to remove dead skin cells and turn over new skin, which can ultimately help to even out discoloration on your pubic mound (if you happen to have any).
Since that part of your body is more sensitive than others, my two cents would be to DIY an exfoliant out of some brown sugar (recipehere) or coffee grinds (recipehere). Natural ingredients reduce the chance of (further) irritating your skin.
3. Massage Your Vulva with Some Vitamin E Oil
Getty Images
If you want your skin to look fresh and radiant on any part of your body, you’ve absolutely got toinvest in some vitamin E oil. The properties in it help to deeply moisturize your skin, relieve any itching that may be associated with mild infections, allergic reactions to fabrics, or basic-level irritation; help to treat and heal eczema and psoriasis; minimize the appearance of scars over time, and it also can slow down your skin’s aging process — including when it comes to your vulva.
Also, sinceboth vitamin E and ginseng have been proven to boost sexual performance in women (which ultimately leads to more natural lubrication), you can’t miss by applying some of this to your vulva just as soon as you possibly can.
4. Apply Geranium Essential Oil
Getty Images
As I learn more about the purpose and power of essential oils, I wish I had started studying more than the “common” ones much sooner than I did.Take geranium oil, for example. Did you know that it has the ability to soothe sore muscles, speed up the healing process of certain respiratory infections, reduce anxiety and depression-related symptoms, fight candida, and even decrease nerve pain that comes from things like shingles (pretty impressive, right?)
However, the reason why geranium oil is listed here is because it’s also awesome (and non-irritating) when it comes to skincare. What makes it so divine? It reduces wrinkles, contains antibacterial and soothing anti-inflammatory properties, and naturally deodorizes, too.
Also, since this oil also provides a hormone-balancing effect for women who are perimenopausal and menopausal, when it comes to adding to your own essential oil collection, how could you not want some geranium oil now?
5. Or Frankincense Essential Oil
Getty Images
Personally, if frankincense oil had no real benefits, I’d still use it because I like how it smells. Kind of like woody-meets-musky-meets-sweet-meets feminine. The fact that it’s got somesolidantioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-aging properties in it makes it that much better.For instance, since it’s a stress-reducer, that’s always good to know if you’re doing your best to find holistic ways to keep your hormones as balanced as possible (because stress can put your hormones into influx). Some other notable things about this oil (as far as your vulva goes) are it fights off bacteria, helps to slow down aging signs, and actually balances hormones (and helps to improve fertility), too.
6. Soothe and Heal with Pure Aloe Vera Gel
Getty Images
So, what if you recently took a look at your vulva and noticed that there is some discoloration due to things like nicking yourself while shaving or your skin getting over a couple of back-to-back yeast infections? One thing that you might want to try is applying some (and this is key) 100 percent pure aloe vera gel to the darker spots. For one thing, its high water content will help moisturize your skin.
Next, its anti-inflammatory, antibacterial, antiviral, and antiseptic will do wonders when it comes to helping to heal your skin.Another perk of the gel is it’s actually a natural source ofsalicylic acid, which means that it can help prevent future breakouts (if you happen to get pimples and acne scars down there). Plus, it also fades discoloration (over time) and slows down the aging process of your skin.
7. Take Vitamin C and D Supplements
Getty Images
Did you know thatalmost every American in this country is not getting all of the nutrients that they need from their diet alone? Yeah, don’t get me started on what people’s health would look like if the United States actually covered healthcare costs (eye roll). ANYWAY, I’m just saying this to say that if you don’t already take a multivitamin, now is as good a time as ever to start. Or, if you’d prefer to take certain supplements that are specific to this article, vitamins C and D are your better bet.
Vitamin C is bomb because it’s great for skin health overall; it boosts collagen levels, helps to prevent infections, and speeds up the process of wound healing. Vitamin D is great because it helps to maintain your vagina’s pH levels, reduces the chances of vaginal infections, and if you happen to be on the other side of menopause, it can help with your libido and make arousal easier — and since vitamin D deficiency is so common among us (Black women) that is certainly something to especially keep in mind.
8. Use Lubrication During Sex
Getty Images
The main reasons why your body naturally lubricates your vagina during sexual activity are so that 1) penetration will not be painful and 2) there won’t be a ton of unnecessary friction during sexual acts. Yep, and there goes that word again: friction. Whether you struggle with getting as wet as you’d like due to hormonal reasons (or foreplay challenges; check out “What If The Sex Is Good...But The Foreplay Isn't?”) or you’re simply someone who takes the saying “the wetter, the better” quite literally (check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant”), just remember that when it comes to preventing vaginal hyperpigmentation, all forms of lubricant will always be your friend.
9. Try Some Rose Bush Butter
Getty Images
It really is amazing, the random things that you can find out on the World Wide Web. Take a product called Rose Bush, P-ssy Butter. I first stumbled upon it whilereading an article about it on Well + Good’s website. The reason why it sings the butter’s praises is that it can do so many things for your vaginal region, from moisturizing and preventing chafing to making it smell great and serving as an all-natural lubrication (if you’re someone who DOESN’T use condoms).
Word on the street is that it can even help to keepyour vagina’s pH where it’s supposed to be (which is always a bonus!). So, if you’re looking for something that can help, and heal your vulva, why not give some rose bush butter a shot? You can cop yourself some of ithere.
10. Sleep Naked
Getty Images
Last one. Your vagina and vulva don’t want to experience friction, especially not 24 hours a day. That’s why it’s important to at least give them both a break during your sleeping hours. That will give them time to get more oxygen, regulate their temperature, prevent excess moisture from creating the perfect breeding ground for a yeast infection, and it will help to keep your hormones balanced, too. At the end of the day,sleeping naked is one of the best ways to be proactive when it comes to avoiding vaginal hyperpigmentation. No doubt about it, sis. So make sure to do it….tonight.
____
Welp. There you have it: 10 all-natural ways to keep your vulva looking as good as (hopefully) it feels. Test some of the remedies out. Let me know how it goes. Especially that rose butter, aight? #wink
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by TAGSTOCK1/Getty Images
RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
Riska/Getty Images
1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
Riska/Getty Images
19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by
While the movies and shows on this list vary in genre and style, they all have toe-curling elements that make them truly mind-blowing.
1. Love & Basketball
Now, Love & Basketballis a universally memorable movie in the Black community in its own right, but that sex scene was almost revolutionary. The raw, realistic portrayal of Monica’s first time as she loses her virginity to her childhood soulmate Quincy was an important moment for young Black women everywhere. For a scene that had no on-screen nudity, the chemistry between the characters was enough to have us all feeling a little hot under the collar!
2. Set It Off
This 1996 sex scene between Blair Underwood and Jada Pinkett-Smith’s characters Keith and Stony had all the elements that take a sex scene from good to great. And let’s not let the fact that Jada used a body double take away from how iconic this scene is. Attractive actors, focused foreplay, close-ups, tension-building music (shout out En Vogue!), and chemistry for days. When I rewatched this movie recently and noticed the way Keith moved his chain out of the way (IYKYK), I yelled! Those little details set this sex scene apart.
3. Out of Time
Denzel Washington has been fine his whole life. He’s intergenerational fine. And when this movie came out he was in his PRIME, okay?! The chemistry between Denzel and Sanaa Lathan in Out of Time is undeniable. So much so that when the movie came out, rumors began to circulate that the actors were romantically involved. And if you’ve seen the movie, I’m sure you’re not surprised.
The icing on the cake for me was that roleplay scene (peep the video above). You know, the one where Matthias pretends to be investigating a crime and Ann talks him through what the “intruder” did to her and he reenacts it? Turns out WE were the ones intruding on a crime - assault with a deadly weapon, if you will.
4. Scandal
Thursdays haven’t been the same since ABC’s TGIT. Shonda Rhimes was in her bag when she gave us back-to-back episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, AND How To Get Away With Murder. Lives were changed. Aside from nail-biting drama and salacious storylines, Shonda also consistently gave us an array of dangerously attractive characters and sexual tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.
I’ll forever be team #Olitz. Their steamy sex sessions were made even hotter because their relationship was taboo, scandalous, even.
Adultery aside, Olivia and Fitz’s sexy time scenes never left anything to be desired. Interestingly, my favorite Olitz sex scene is their very first time. After six episodes of build-up, they finally did the deed and alleviated all the sexual tension we’d all been feeling. I think we all developed a new level of respect for Fitz when he ordered Olivia to take her clothes off, and she did not disappoint because she served bawdy in that white lingerie (I see what you did there, Shonda). Olivia served at the pleasure of the President, and so did we. For all 6 seasons.
5. Bridgerton
Dearest Gentle Reader, this couple certainly set the Ton abuzz in Bridgerton season one. For a Duke who was once lost for words, the cat’s certainly no longer in possession of his tongue. And luckily, it seems the Duchess is more physical touch than words of affirmation.
The Hastings basked in newlywed bliss all over their new abode and that library ladder scene - you know the one - took the couple’s sex life to new heights. What made this scene with Simon going down on Daphne while she’s suspended on a ladder so incredibly hot is how it centered *female* pleasure. He a good man, Savannah!
6. Insecure
One thing we could always expect from Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore’s hit series - a jaw-dropping sex scene. What I loved about Insecure’s sex scenes is that they’re not only seriously hot, but alsoVERY relatable. From that incident with Daniel, to Issa and Lawrence’s freshly-broken-up-unfinished-business ex-sex.
The one that tops my list has got to be when Issa and Nathan joined their own version of the Mile High Club on the Ferris wheel at Coachella. Cinematically, the scene was gorgeous but it also felt truly organic, like it was the perfect first time for them. I feel like we all collectively exhaled because she finally chose a man we could actually root for. You know what that is? Growth.
Honorable mention: the we’ve-finally-reunited couch sex Lawrence and Issa have when they finally get back together.
7. Power
From gunplay to foreplay, Power held nothing back. Every sex scene was spicy in its own way from Tate and his staffer, to the pilot episode Ghost and Tasha, to Tommy and Keisha. So many to choose from! The one that stands out in my mind is when Ghost and Angela get it on against the window of his hotel room overlooking the New York cityscape. Their chemistry was undeniable and the yearning was palpable in every single one of their sex scenes. Now, that’s acting!
8. Love Jones
WhenLove Jones premiered in 1997, a Black romance about a couple of creatives living and loving in the city was unprecedented. Between the novelty of the story and the charming dynamic between Darius and Nina, Love Jones quickly became a cultural classic. And even with the plethora of Black stories that have since graced our screens, Love Jones is a movie the conversation always comes back to. I mean, with bars like “I’m the blues in your left thigh trying to become the funk in your right”? Yeah, I would’ve folded.
Nina and Darius having sex on the first date felt bold and spontaneous, but that’s only part of why that scene was so steamy. Music can make or break a moment on-screen - sex or otherwise - and Maxwell’s "Sumthin’ Sumthin’" playing in the background made it feel like they were truly making love. Romance is sexy too, right?
9. Queen & Slim
Finally, on-screen car sex that actually looks enjoyable! It’s a beautifully shot scene with long, slow closeups of the characters making intense eye contact (IYKYK!). And the passion between the two actors is so realistic that some people even questioned if the scene was real! The buildup that led to this spontaneous daylight, on-the-run hookup made it even sexier. 10/10, no notes.
For so long, we’ve been starved of seeing positive Black female sexuality on screen and the She’s Gotta Have It remake helped to change that. DeWanda Wise absolutely killed it in the Spike Lee remake as Nola Darling, a polyamorous pansexual woman living her best sexually liberated life, boldly approaching relationships in a way we usually see as taboo. Men, women…one, two, three on rotation, Nola’s pleasure was Nola’s priority (IKDR!).
While her sexual appetite meant her loving bed saw many visitors, I think her best sex scene came when she finally decided to give monogamy a try with her girlfriend Opal. While the scene was pretty graphic, just like the others, this one was different because it was special. It felt like Nola and Opal were two women passionately in love. And what’s sexier than sex with someone you love?
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image via Netflix