Struggling With Vaginal Hyperpigmentation? There Are All-Natural Remedies For That.
Recently, while getting my monthly waxing down below, my waxer was commenting on how healthy my vagina — well, technically it’s my vulva — looks for my age. Lawd, where has the time gone when I’m finally at the point and place where “for my age” is following more and more comments? LOL. Anyway, when I asked her to expound, she went on to say that as women get older, it’s not uncommon to notice more sagging (check out “Vaginas Age Just Like Everything Else. You Can Slow It Down, Though.” and “Keep Your Vagina Like A (Literal) Fountain Of Youth”) and some discoloration as well.
As I was on my back, legs open and looking up at the ceiling, waiting for her to finish, I first thanked her for the compliment. Then I let her know that, indirectly, she was gonna help me with my next writing check from this platform — because what she said about vaginal discoloration was going to inspire me to do some additional research. And I did.
That said, whether you glance at your vagina on a daily basis, you only do it while you’re in the process of doing a vaginal self-exam (which is always wise), or you’re someone who doesn’t give how your va-jay-jay looks much thought unless you’ve scheduled a professional maintenance appointment or you’re “prepping” for a really hot night (check out “12 Men Told Me What They Love So Much About Vaginas”) — although this is a topic that you may not have considered before, I think you might find a few of these tips to be quite beneficial. That is, if you want to keep your vagina — well, vulva — looking radiant and youthful for as long as you possibly can, anyway.
Check it out.
Vaginal Hyperpigmentation. What’s the Cause?
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Hyperpigmentation. When it comes to your vulva (the outer part of your vagina), whether you couldn’t care less about it or having some low-key irks you to no end, the first thing that you should know is that it’s pretty normal. Although it somewhat varies from person to person, it is important to always keep in mind that there are certain factors that can play a role in just how dark parts of your skin — again, in this case, your vulva — can get.
Factors like what? Well, for starters, your skin contains cells that are known as melanocytes; they are somewhat sensitive to your body’s natural hormones.
So, as your hormones shift (like during puberty, pregnancy, and the later stages of perimenopause), that can cause your skin to get darker when it comes to your vulva, nipples, and even your anus. Something else that can cause hyperpigmentation is constant friction (which is just one more reason to keep wearing super tight pants down to a minimum).
This is because friction can cause bodily inflammation (I just read that rosemary is the best herb for treating inflammation, by the way), and that can lead to discoloration. It should also go on record that sometimes skin experiences hyperpigmentation wherever “folds” in the skin happen (like your underarms or if your vaginal lips are “meaty”). Oh, and if you shave and get ingrown hairs or pimples, that can be a part of the culprit as well.
Are these the only things that can make vaginal hyperpigmentation happen? No. In fact, if your skin down there is super itchy or irritated (and you know that it’s not due to something like BV or ayeast infection), you should get your doctor to check it out. It could be because of an underlying condition like (possibly) diabetes, an STI/STD, or even PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).
However, the other causes that I mentioned tend to be the ones that are the most common. And for those, I have 10 all-natural things that you can do at home to 1) help to prevent vaginal hyperpigmentation from transpiring and/or 2) help to even out your vulva’s skin tone if some discoloration has already taken place.
10 All-Natural Things You Can Do At Home To Prevent Vaginal Hyperpigmentation
1. Make Sure Your Panties Are “Breathable”
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Okay, so for those of you who don’t wear any drawers (check out “10 Women Told Me Why They Stopped Wearing Panties (And They Don't Regret It)”), this first tip won’t apply. For the rest of us, though, just like tight jeans (for instance) can cause friction in your vaginal region, so can panties that won’t let your vagina breathe (whether it’s due to sizing or fabrics like spandex or nylon).
The method to the madness here is air carries oxygen andoxygen helps to give your skin the nutrients that it needs to remain healthy. Plus, looser underwear that’s made out of a breathable fabric also prevents chafing that could cause discoloration too. Now that you know this, if you’re not sure if you’re currently wearing the type of undies that are best for your vagina and vulva, I’ve got you covered (no pun intended). Check out “These Are The Kinds Of Panties Your Vagina Actually Prefers”.
2. Exfoliate Your Pubic Mound
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You know how I mentioned my waxer in the intro? Sometimes, she has some pretty wild stories about what happens when she gives someone a Brazilian wax for the first time (yeah, y’all can keep that). Since she said that it can take a good 4-6 months for 1) it not to hurt as much as it initially does and 2) for a person’s skin to fully recover, something that she recommends doing (2-3 days following your hair removal appointment) is exfoliatingyour pubic mound (the fatty area that covers your pelvic region).
Exfoliation helps to remove dead skin cells and turn over new skin, which can ultimately help to even out discoloration on your pubic mound (if you happen to have any).
Since that part of your body is more sensitive than others, my two cents would be to DIY an exfoliant out of some brown sugar (recipehere) or coffee grinds (recipehere). Natural ingredients reduce the chance of (further) irritating your skin.
3. Massage Your Vulva with Some Vitamin E Oil
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If you want your skin to look fresh and radiant on any part of your body, you’ve absolutely got toinvest in some vitamin E oil. The properties in it help to deeply moisturize your skin, relieve any itching that may be associated with mild infections, allergic reactions to fabrics, or basic-level irritation; help to treat and heal eczema and psoriasis; minimize the appearance of scars over time, and it also can slow down your skin’s aging process — including when it comes to your vulva.
Also, sinceboth vitamin E and ginseng have been proven to boost sexual performance in women (which ultimately leads to more natural lubrication), you can’t miss by applying some of this to your vulva just as soon as you possibly can.
4. Apply Geranium Essential Oil
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As I learn more about the purpose and power of essential oils, I wish I had started studying more than the “common” ones much sooner than I did.Take geranium oil, for example. Did you know that it has the ability to soothe sore muscles, speed up the healing process of certain respiratory infections, reduce anxiety and depression-related symptoms, fight candida, and even decrease nerve pain that comes from things like shingles (pretty impressive, right?)
However, the reason why geranium oil is listed here is because it’s also awesome (and non-irritating) when it comes to skincare. What makes it so divine? It reduces wrinkles, contains antibacterial and soothing anti-inflammatory properties, and naturally deodorizes, too.
Also, since this oil also provides a hormone-balancing effect for women who are perimenopausal and menopausal, when it comes to adding to your own essential oil collection, how could you not want some geranium oil now?
5. Or Frankincense Essential Oil
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Personally, if frankincense oil had no real benefits, I’d still use it because I like how it smells. Kind of like woody-meets-musky-meets-sweet-meets feminine. The fact that it’s got somesolidantioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-aging properties in it makes it that much better.For instance, since it’s a stress-reducer, that’s always good to know if you’re doing your best to find holistic ways to keep your hormones as balanced as possible (because stress can put your hormones into influx). Some other notable things about this oil (as far as your vulva goes) are it fights off bacteria, helps to slow down aging signs, and actually balances hormones (and helps to improve fertility), too.
6. Soothe and Heal with Pure Aloe Vera Gel
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So, what if you recently took a look at your vulva and noticed that there is some discoloration due to things like nicking yourself while shaving or your skin getting over a couple of back-to-back yeast infections? One thing that you might want to try is applying some (and this is key) 100 percent pure aloe vera gel to the darker spots. For one thing, its high water content will help moisturize your skin.
Next, its anti-inflammatory, antibacterial, antiviral, and antiseptic will do wonders when it comes to helping to heal your skin.Another perk of the gel is it’s actually a natural source ofsalicylic acid, which means that it can help prevent future breakouts (if you happen to get pimples and acne scars down there). Plus, it also fades discoloration (over time) and slows down the aging process of your skin.
7. Take Vitamin C and D Supplements
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Did you know thatalmost every American in this country is not getting all of the nutrients that they need from their diet alone? Yeah, don’t get me started on what people’s health would look like if the United States actually covered healthcare costs (eye roll). ANYWAY, I’m just saying this to say that if you don’t already take a multivitamin, now is as good a time as ever to start. Or, if you’d prefer to take certain supplements that are specific to this article, vitamins C and D are your better bet.
Vitamin C is bomb because it’s great for skin health overall; it boosts collagen levels, helps to prevent infections, and speeds up the process of wound healing. Vitamin D is great because it helps to maintain your vagina’s pH levels, reduces the chances of vaginal infections, and if you happen to be on the other side of menopause, it can help with your libido and make arousal easier — and since vitamin D deficiency is so common among us (Black women) that is certainly something to especially keep in mind.
8. Use Lubrication During Sex
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The main reasons why your body naturally lubricates your vagina during sexual activity are so that 1) penetration will not be painful and 2) there won’t be a ton of unnecessary friction during sexual acts. Yep, and there goes that word again: friction. Whether you struggle with getting as wet as you’d like due to hormonal reasons (or foreplay challenges; check out “What If The Sex Is Good...But The Foreplay Isn't?”) or you’re simply someone who takes the saying “the wetter, the better” quite literally (check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant”), just remember that when it comes to preventing vaginal hyperpigmentation, all forms of lubricant will always be your friend.
9. Try Some Rose Bush Butter
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It really is amazing, the random things that you can find out on the World Wide Web. Take a product called Rose Bush, P-ssy Butter. I first stumbled upon it whilereading an article about it on Well + Good’s website. The reason why it sings the butter’s praises is that it can do so many things for your vaginal region, from moisturizing and preventing chafing to making it smell great and serving as an all-natural lubrication (if you’re someone who DOESN’T use condoms).
Word on the street is that it can even help to keepyour vagina’s pH where it’s supposed to be (which is always a bonus!). So, if you’re looking for something that can help, and heal your vulva, why not give some rose bush butter a shot? You can cop yourself some of ithere.
10. Sleep Naked
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Last one. Your vagina and vulva don’t want to experience friction, especially not 24 hours a day. That’s why it’s important to at least give them both a break during your sleeping hours. That will give them time to get more oxygen, regulate their temperature, prevent excess moisture from creating the perfect breeding ground for a yeast infection, and it will help to keep your hormones balanced, too. At the end of the day,sleeping naked is one of the best ways to be proactive when it comes to avoiding vaginal hyperpigmentation. No doubt about it, sis. So make sure to do it….tonight.
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Welp. There you have it: 10 all-natural ways to keep your vulva looking as good as (hopefully) it feels. Test some of the remedies out. Let me know how it goes. Especially that rose butter, aight? #wink
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
A Deep Dive Into 'Love Is Blind''s Tyler & Ashley's Kids Controversy
Love Is Blind season 7 has shaped up to be one of the franchise's most jaw-dropping seasons, and not because of anything that aired on Netflix. Instead, the latest season's most intriguing drama is what has unfolded on social media. Between Ramses and Marissa, Alex and Tim, and Hannah and Nick, there was controversy abound. And we peeped when the creator of the show responded to the controversy around the vetting process for contestants by saying, "We aren't the police." Netflix, this you?
From self-produced scenes to NDA-where? behavior, the season 7 cast has been all over social media, and probably not for the reasons they'd like. Two such cast members at the center of the social media discourse are Tyler Francis and his now-wife Ashley Adionsier.
For Love Is Blind fans, Tyler’s fixation on having kids throughout the season raised some eyebrows—but what he wasn’t saying turned out to be even more revealing. In an episode that aired on Oct. 2, Tyler dropped a major bombshell on Ashley outside the pods and after their engagement, confessing that he had fathered three children through a past sperm donation to a lesbian couple. What's the issue here? Well, in the pods, Tyler had previously told Ashley that he didn’t have any kids. Point blank.
This, plus other allegations about him spreading like wildfire while the season was airing, had social media giving the reality star some major side-eye.
"I'm not upset by you trying to help a couple have kids," Ashley says in the clip. "I think that's admirable in certain ways, but the issue comes in with me feeling like I was not getting the full picture of you. And once you're not given the full picture of something, it's hard to not question everything."
(L to R) Ashley Adionser, Tyler Francis in episode 709 of 'Love Is Blind'Courtesy of Netflix © 2024
She continued, "Me being a single woman before this, to come in this scenario, fall in love with a guy who has three sperm babies, sperm-donor babies is a lot to absorb. And the wedding is in like two weeks."
The revelation, paired with Ashley’s reaction—she referred to them as “sperm babies” in a clip now making the rounds on social media—left both Ashley and viewers shocked and questioning his honesty. They also wondered why he couldn't have just said that from the beginning versus waiting so close to their wedding day to make the big reveal and feared that he had blindsided Ashley by concealing "the truth" from her for so long.
Tyler Francis 'Love Is Blind' Kids Controversy, Explained.
Ahead of the season 7 reunion, the mother of the children, Brietta "Bri" Thomas, would break her silence on social media in a series of Instagram Reels detailing her side of the story "to attempt to protect them from a narrative that must end." In the now-deleted videos, which you can watch in full here, Bri describes Tyler as one of her best friends and the father of her "three beautiful children." She explains that Tyler was not supposed to act as a father figure to her son as that was understood to be a sperm donation dynamic for her and her now ex-wife.
During her separation from her ex-wife and while caring for her son as a newborn, Tyler was there for her as her best friend while she was going through an "extremely, extremely tough time in my life." Bri claims that Tyler reached out and asked if he could step up as a father to their son to which they had a deep conversation about what that would look like, and she later agreed. Since then, he has been both the bio dad and an active father to their son. Bri then clarifies that their twin girls were not at all in a situation like their son.
"The twins were simply unplanned. If that needs to be spelled out for some people [the twins] are the result of natural, unplanned intercourse with absolutely no complexities surrounding parentage. They were conceived before [their son] turned one. And I admit, fully admit, I have not always been the most comfortable with that truth due to the fact that I've lived the majority of my life as a lesbian. Nonetheless, it is exactly that: the truth."
For Bri, the issue wasn’t about jealousy—it was about Tyler abandoning his commitment to the children he helped bring into the world. After actively being in their lives for years, he suddenly distanced himself, only to mention them on a reality show in a dismissive way, reducing them to "sperm babies" to suit his own narrative. Bri was frustrated by his decision to frame their lives this way, despite the reality being much different. Hence, she decided to come forward with "the truth."
Social media called BS on Tyler's version of events then, and after Bri's statement, social media knew they'd clocked it.
In this deep dive, we’ll unpack the many ways social media has set the stage for what has turned out to be season 7's juiciest revelations, and thanks to Jessie Woo and TikTokers like StorytimewithRikkii, what Bri’s side of the story reveals about the truth of what happened behind the screen.
What Tyler Has Said About His Kids:
Tyler and Ashley would later appear in the season 7 reunion as a united front, with Ashley explaining that they felt the need to bring an off-camera discussion where she learned everything about his "sperm donation" on-camera as a way to be authentic, but that they also wanted to protect "those kids" by not going super in-depth about everything.
Tyler told host Vanessa Lachey, "Those kids, that family, they did not sign up for this. So what is happening now is I try to keep that from happening. Their birth certificates are online. Things that shouldn't be happening are now happening." Adding, "To get into the story, I did help a friend and her wife start a family, but her wife ended up leaving her and left her high and dry. This was my very close friend. So I stepped in, voluntarily stepped in and helped. So there are pictures of me around. You'll see me around."
He continued, "I've spent holidays with all my friends, you know, all their kids. And I played a part that became very shaky with a friend. And there's no rule books to this. There's no set lines to this. But I do wanna let people know Ashley knows all this. This is news to the world. This has never been news to us. And I'm giving this explanation now because I feel like the world is waiting for it. But I don't owe anyone an explanation but my wife. And if she's sitting here with me..."
(L to R) Ashley Adionser, Tyler Francis at the 'Love Is Blind' season 7 reunion
Courtesy of Netflix © 2024
What Ashley Has Said About Knowing About Tyler's Kids:
Ashley shared with hosts Vanessa and Nick Lachey that she had some things to say, "starting with... like, who do you think has better insight on what's going on, social media or me?" She would add that she felt it was "insulting to my intelligence" that viewers saw her as "blindsided" on the show by Tyler's confession and that she felt she needed to make the show an "authentic experience" by bringing an off-camera conversation he brought to her about the kids on-camera which is the scene the world saw.
"The very thing that we didn't want to happen happened," Ashley told Vanessa, referencing the online discourse and what we can assume is Bri's and Bri's mother's statements online. "And the thing with humanity is they have a hard time -- we have a hard time -- understanding anything that we don't get, anything that's taboo, anything that's out of our norm. And that's exactly what's happening. Instead of trying to rationalize, like maybe this was hard to navigate, right? And for me, I just know Tyler, in his heart, to know that it had to be hard to navigate with a friend. Way easier when you're removed.
"And with him growing up in a single-parent household, and in that scenario, when that happened with the divorce, it was very hard for him to remove himself and not be involved when this is now a single mom, right? So that was hard for him, and I just know that he is a good person who went in a little too deep and didn't know what to do."
What Ashley Said Recently on 'The Viall Files':
A week after the reunion episode aired, Nick Viall dropped a previously recorded episode of The Viall Files podcast featuring Ashley called "Going Deeper with Love Is Blind's Ashley" on Nov. 6. In the episode, Ashley doubled down on some things shared on the reunion, as well as anything she is trusting as truth from Tyler. Tyler was not there, but she and the hosts spoke a lot about Tyler's situation with the kids and Tyler's perspective, but most notably, why he's a "good guy" and not the deadbeat social media is trying to paint him as.
According to Ashley, Tyler let the kids call him "dad" and that they knew him as their "bio dad" but that it was a "mistake" on his behalf because it aided in blurring the lines of where they all actually stood. "And it’s very taboo and very odd to think about, but I don’t think there’s any rule book to how adoption, sperm donating, or egg donation should go. I do think that it was a mistake on his behalf to blur those lines so heavily because of the kids.
"Not even just the woman [Bri], but the kids. And I know she wanted him to mainly be a part [of the kids’ lives] for the boy. Main -- not even the girls -- you rarely ever see him with the girls here and there, it’s mainly the boy. And Tyler stepped up. He was like, 'Sure, I’ll be their dad.'"
Ashley said the situation was "awkward" for her to navigate and denied that the kids and Tyler were even that close since it was never a "daily, weekly, monthly basis" sort of relationship, just holidays. "He was never ever ever around on a daily basis, weekly basis, monthy basis." She shared with Nick Viall that Tyler wanted to back off long ago and alluded that he didn't because he wanted to keep Bri as a friend. "And so I think it’s hard for people to digest too because in a normal sperm donation situation, you can pick and choose your involvement, but most of the time you aren’t that involved unless it is like a sister or like a friend or whatever."
She would ultimately say that Tyler didn't feel like the three children and Bri were his family, and that was his breaking point. "He came to a point where he -- whenever she would get in a new relationship, you know with a new woman, she wants to have a family with a woman. And he would always be on the outside looking in. He has no rights, he can’t determine where they go to school, he can’t say anything. He can’t discipline. He can’t do anything.
"So to him, he’s like, ‘I pop up, and I’m an uncle and I play with them and I kiki. I wear these Dad t-shirts that your grandma-the grandma-her mom-is giving me, you know, and you know put on this face, but this is not my family. I’m on the outside looking in.’"
Ashley believes the world has it wrong and reiterates that Tyler is a good guy who just got caught up and that the issue between him and Bri is simply a difference in perspective. "And that’s why I tell people he was a good guy that got too deep and didn’t know what to do next. So when he finally decided to cut the situation off, of course, it’s awkward, and it hurts him as well to know about the kids, but he felt it was better to do it now than to wait any longer, and he’s like, ‘I want my own family. Like I want my own things.’ And she’s probably like, ‘Well damn, you were around, you know? Why this now?’
"They just have two different perspectives, I would say and I think that even Tyler’s friends and parents – and again, it’s kinda a little difficult for me to talk about this because I wasn’t there. I’m only going off of the things that I know, and things I’m trusting. And if anything ever comes out differently, I’ll do like a Reesa Teesa and give you guys the scoop," she told Nick.
Ashley also told the podcast hosts that Tyler had cut Bri and the kids off a year or more before going on the show.
Bri Breaks Down a Timeline of Events with Jessie Woo & Storytime w/ Rikki:
While Ashley and Tyler seem intent on upholding the narrative they've carefully crafted, media personality Jessie Woo and TikTok creator Storytime w/ Rikki, who goes by StorytimewithRikkii on the platform, gave Bri a safe space to speak her piece and respond to some of the things Ashley had detailed in her podcast appearance with Nick Viall.
There, she also provided a timeline of events, highlighting the facts and continues to emphasize her intention isn't to bash Tyler, it's merely to bring clarity to the fact that this is about him coming in and out of his children's lives and then trying to reduce them to certain terms as a means to distance himself from them. As a fan of the show Love Is Blind, she had no problem in the first batch of episodes where Tyler and Ashley spoke about kids. She said it was "hurtful" but she wasn't going to insert herself because her kids weren't mentioned specifically or her.
However, in the later episodes of the season, where the kids were referred to as "sperm babies," she felt compelled to come forward and make the truth clear, which is why she took to her IG to do so. "That’s a lie against me and my children specifically."
Bri doubled down on the fact that Tyler's proximity and responsibility towards their son was never supposed to be anything more than a sperm donor situation. At first, he was helping her and her now ex-wife out. That is the part of the story they both agree on. "He was not supposed to be a father to Cairo. I planned to have this child with a woman," she explained to Jessie and Rikki. Even after her ex-wife left her, she was prepared to be a single mom. "In my mind, I was going to now be a single mom to one child. Tyler reached out to me," she added.
Bri said that Tyler told her he didn't want their son to be raised by a single mom since he was raised by a single mom and didn't want that to be her situation. Bri continued, "If you are stepping up as his father, I would like help in regards to all of those things. And if you can’t do that, then that’s totally fine, like you don’t have to step up.’ He agreed. We both agreed. I said, ‘Let me think about it.’ It took me a couple of days... Ultimately, I agreed. ‘Yes, you are biologically his dad.’ To me at the time, this is admirable…" adding, "I never reached out and asked him for this, but I was grateful that he did want to step in."
Bri said that he had been acting as a father to their son from that moment on and that was back in 2017.
She also described how the twins came into the picture when Jessie asked if the twins were supposed to be a sperm donor situation. Bri confirmed that the twins weren’t planned. "I was never planning on having multiple kids with Tyler. We had sex, and I got pregnant. And there was never an agreement about parenting these children because I had sex and I got pregnant. You’re the dad, I’m the mom, we already have a son that we’re agreeing to and we were going to have three children." Tyler would even cut the cord and sign the birth certificate for the twins.
Shortly after, they transitioned into living together as they co-parent. While she was pregnant with the twins, they lived in the same apartment building, but she said Tyler would stay with her a lot because he was helping her with their son who was a newborn while she was pregnant with multiples, and they would also attend doctors' appointments together. At the time, they lived in the same building together, but he would stay with her a lot to help out during her pregnancy.
"As it got closer to the twins being born, we needed more space. We rented a house together to have a lot more space for these multiple children. And like I said in my other video, he stayed in the basement, I stayed in the main bedroom, we just lived in the house together to co-parent these three children together."
One of the hosts, Rikki, asked if they ever experienced a shift similar to the one they are in now as they were co-parenting and living together. Bri said that they stopped renting a house together in late 2019 because they were arguing a lot, but nothing as severe as this recent cut-off happened until 2021. "This time, it was about financials. And he stopped responding. Basically, cut me -- without telling me -- he just stopped responding. He cut me and the children off. This was March of 2021. We stopped living in this house together [in] late 2019 so he was still around after we moved out of this house for a good amount of time. But in late March 2021, he did cut ties with us and we didn’t hear from him until late March 2022."She went into further detail and explained it was over finances and his wanting to claim the kids on his taxes. Despite arguments and disagreements they sometimes had though, Bri says that they were always friends first and foremost. "That was my best friend. So he was around even though we had these disagreements often about how he could be doing more for the children. If I was going through stuff, I would reach out to Tyler. If he was going through stuff, we’re talking about it. We were friends."
Bri also shared that she saw him the day before he left to film Love Is Blind. She and Tyler had talked about her and the kids going to the wedding. She offered to take him to the airport, wished him good luck, and told him to make a genuine effort in finding true connection on the show. He didn’t think it would work, but as a friend who was “100% supportive,” she encouraged him to give it a real try.
In the back of her mind, she had a thought about him cutting them off again, potentially since he had done it before in March 2021. He reassured her and promised he would never do that to them again. "'Bri, I love you. I love these children. I would never do that to y’all again.' And I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe he would never do this again because if I thought he would do this again, I would [have] never allowed him back in my children’s lives."
Throughout the conversation with Jessie and Rikki, Bri provided proof in the form of texts and screenshots, and the receipts were receipt-ing. In them, Tyler went from texting her pretty regularly about what he was experiencing while filming, but eventually, a lull started to happen in their communication again, and Bri began to understand what was happening again.
Regardless of what Tyler and Ashley might claim, we won't get too deeply into what this looks like, but children aren’t just a "gray area" that disappears when you find your real family on TV. Bri made it clear she wasn’t about to let Tyler pull the disappearing act with their kids' lives whenever it suited him, which led her to take the legal route and the $30K he's now expected to pay in back child support.
So while the receipts have definitely been receipt-ing, this situation serves as a crucial reminder: fathers should take accountability for the homes they help create, regardless of how the family came together.
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Featured image courtesy of Netflix