

One of the best things about living in Music City (Nashville has that name due to the Fisk Jubilee Singers NOT country music, by the way) is you can’t help but have at least a few musician friends regardless of what you do for a living. Since I came from a music industry family and I worked in entertainment media for many years, that ups my count significantly. And one of the really fun things about hanging with music folks is you’re gonna find yourself talking about songs that you probably haven’t thought about in years.
For instance, an impromptu game that some of my peeps like to play is “What’s the best song?” for different topics. I’ll explain. Like infidelity? A top fave of mine is “Everything I Miss at Home” by Cherelle. A man who you can’t seem to get over? “How Can I Ease the Pain” by Lisa Fischer. Fellatio (yeah, I said it)? Yep — got one for that too; it’s by one of 615’s best Shannon Sanders and it’s off of a project he did way back in 1999 (fun fact: the original version of Heather Headley’s hit from back in the day, “In My Mind” is on it). The song? “Interstate.” Unfortunately, he never did a visual for it, so I’m gonna share another one that hits the mark: Usher’s “Good Kisser.”
Usher - Good Kisserwww.youtube.com
As I was rewatching it, I realized that aside from the cutie pie with the freckles (Black women with freckles look dope), I think what makes the video so visually appealing is all of the different lips that are showcased…wouldn’t you agree?
And that’s why I thought it would be a perfect way to intro this article. Because, thanks to it and a company called Bijoux Indiscrets that sells a product that they call Oral Pleasure · Oral Sex Lip Gloss, I’ve been inspired to share why, if you want to become an oral sex master yourself, there is something that you need; something that you’ve probably underestimated as being absolutely essential.
What could that be? You saw the title: lip gloss.
Lips Play a Bigger Role in Oral Pleasure than People Think
I’m not sure if this will surprise any of you or not yet are you aware that, reportedly, only 28 percent of women like to go down on men? For shame, for shame because, while I personally don’t think that it’s something that should be done randomly or casually (you can get an STI/STD from oral sex too, people), if you’re willing to participate in coitus, the experience can only be that much better if you’re both down to…get down (if you know what I mean).
Anyway, because a lot of my life consists of writing and talking about sex — and more specifically, how to make it more satisfying for all parties involved — I oftentimes interview people on various sexual topics. And when oral sex comes up, something that both men and women say is, that lips play just as much of a starring role as tongues do.
In fact, not too long ago, a guy told me, “Technique is important but what is even more important is a woman who’s enthusiastic about giving head and has really soft lips. That takes sh—t to another level.”
And you know something that can get you smooth lips that feel absolutely amazing? Lip gloss. Well, to be thorough, first you should exfoliate your lips with a lip scrub (or toothbrush) and then you should apply some lip gloss to them. Why? I’ll be more than happy to break it all down for you.
Lip Gloss Is Sexy AF
If there are two things that I have too much of, it’s sneakers and lip gloss. When it comes to the latter, I like it because it’s a low-maintenance way to make my very full lips (thanks Dad for giving me those) appear sexy as hell (because I don’t have to worry about the smudging or smearing of lipstick; more on that in a bit). How do I know? Because it’s rare that I’m out and someone doesn’t compliment me on my lips, the kind of lip gloss that I have on, or both. And since it’s been reported before that men are drawn to a woman’s lips more than any other facial feature that she has — why wouldn’t you want to apply something that will make yours appear wet, sultry, and super alluring? Lip gloss can make that happen.
Lip Gloss Reduces Dehydration
From a functional standpoint, lip gloss is bomb because it can help your lips to retain moisture. This is good to know if you’re going to be outdoors for hours on end; however, this article is about oral sex, and since we’re all grown — when you’re performing fellatio (if you’re doing it right anyway), quite a bit of saliva is going to be involved. And since spit contains enzymes that can actually dry out your lips and cause them to feel chapped…none of that works in the giver or receiver’s favor. So yeah, if you want to keep your lips in good shape during the umm, process, lip gloss should definitely be applied beforehand.
Lip Gloss Is More “Convenient” than Lipstick
Since I already told you in the intro that Shannon’s song is about a man getting head and the title of it is “Interstate,” I’m sure you can just about guess where it all went down at, right? You know, it’s interesting that when I talk to some of my female clients about why they are hesitant to be more spontaneous when it comes to sex (including oral sex), they usually say something along the lines of they don’t want everyone in their business. Well, when it comes to lips, specifically, one way to be (more) discreet is to apply lip gloss instead of lipstick.
Like I said earlier, there’s no smudging, no smearing and you can easily reapply it after all is said and done and no one will have to know anything that you don’t want them to know. In fact, another reason why I’m super fond of lip gloss is when I go out to eat, I don’t have to worry about how my lips look after the meal; they pretty much look the same as before and if I want a bit more sheen, I can just put another layer of gloss on without even the need of a mirror. Perfect.
Use Flavored Lip Gloss
Okay, so now that we’ve gotten some of the practical points about lip gloss out of the way, let me share a few ways that it can make the act itself so much more pleasurable for you both. As far as flavored gloss goes, if you’re someone who’s a bit shy when it comes to sperm/semen even in its pre-ejaculate stage if you apply a gloss that tastes like cherries, pineapple, or peach, that can mask some of the his “naturalness” so that it doesn’t wreck your flow — or his.
Add Some Cinnamon Oil to Your Lip Gloss
If you’re all about creating a surprising sensation, you’ve got to bring some cinnamon oil into the mix. If you go with a high-quality brand, it will be sweet to the taste to you while providing a warm and sensual tingling feel for him. I’m actually such a fan of it that I gave it a shout-out in the article, “10 Ways To Have An 'Extra Sweet' Vagina” that I also once penned for the platform because, if you apply it to your vulva (not vagina, please), it can be a sweet treat for him as well. Will it burn? Nah. Well, let me put a disclaimer on that: quality cinnamon oil means that a little bit goes a really long way. So, as long as you’re not dumping a ton of it on either set of your lips, you should be more than fine.
Play Around with Some Glow in the Dark Lip Gloss
You learn something new every day, right? What might trip you out today is one poll revealed that when men are in a relationship, they prefer to have sex in the dark while women prefer the lights to be turned up (hmph). For now, what I’ll say about that is although great sex should include all five senses in action when you remove one, that can amplify the others. That said, if you can relate to this and either you and/or your partner like the lights to be off (or dim), how about some glow-in-the-dark lip gloss? It’s fun. It’s sexy. And it’s something that I can almost guarantee that your partner won’t see coming (umm, no pun intended!).
Prevent Afterplay Discomfort with Lip Gloss
Because lip gloss adds moisture, enhances the appearance of your lips, maintains a smooth texture, and helps to keep your lips feeling nice and comfortable — it’s definitely something that you should keep by your nightstand for after you blow his mind (again, no pun intended). See it as a way of rewarding your lips for all of their good…service.
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All this from lip gloss. Yep…all of this from lip gloss. And now that I’ve hopefully hyped you up, how about sending your man a text with a pic of a tube of lip gloss? Ask him to guess why. Then surprise him with the answer the next time you see him.
I bet he’ll never see a tube of gloss the same way…ever again.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Tisha Campbell Shares Why She Got A Mommy Makeover & And We’re Here For The Transparency
Tisha Campbell is still here. Here. Here. Here. (If you know, you know.) The 56-year-old actress and singer is living her life loudly and without apology, all while keeping it real about the work she's had done.
While gracing the 2025 BET Awards red carpet last week, the My Wife & Kids alum let it be known that she has nothing to hide as she revealed to Entertainment Tonight that she recently had a mommy makeover. "I had extra skin from the baby and a little bit of droppage here and a little bit of droppage there," she shared with the outlet as an exclusive. "They tighten me together."
The mother of two shared that changing her body wasn't about anyone else; it was first and foremost about pleasing herself. "I'm a single mom, not ready for dating," she added. "But I just wanted to feel good for me."
Why Tisha Campbell Chose to Share About Her Plastic Surgery
Tisha isn't new to keeping it a buck and has always been transparent about subjects that others might shy away from, whether it's about her decision to walk away from the show that put her on the map as an actor or her decision to walk away from a 22-year marriage to ex-husband Duane Martin. Cosmetic surgery is simply another topic for the Tisha to be open about.
Even in a post-BBL era, cosmetic procedures are something that is still taboo to talk about, especially among women in Hollywood who have spent decades in the public eye, like Tisha. The self-proclaimed "open book" shared her why behind disclosing her surgery:
"I just think it's more important for people to know why one does it. If you wanna feel good about you. And I just wanted to be honest about it," she told ET. "I think it's more important, to be honest, to know that you know I didn't all this by myself. It's nice to be a little bit more snatched around that area."
Tisha Campbell is serving confidence and honesty about her mommy makeover 👶✨ #BETAwards #tishacampbell #kyliejenner #mommymakeover
So, What Is a Mommy Makeover?
For those who are unfamiliar, a "mommy makeover" refers to a combination of cosmetic procedures and can differ for every woman depending on her personal goals. While the overarching intention of a mommy makeover is often to "restore" their bodies to their "pre-baby" status, the procedures are customizable and ultimately based on what feels good to her personally.
This might look like a tummy tuck or liposuction, a breast lift, reduction, or augmentation, a labiaplasty, or any other nips and tucks that support how they feel in their bodies after giving birth.
What stood out in Tisha's clip wasn't just her transparency in action, but also the intention behind her decision to have surgery. She waited until her sons Xen, 23, and Ezekiel,15, were older to have her procedure and made it clear that she centered herself in her choice. In her new season life, this is how she is honoring herself.
"For me. It's not for everybody, it's for me."
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