OK, so I'm gonna hit the ground running on today's topic by saying, any person who feels like their partner's sexual pleasure isn't a priority, I have to wonder how great of a sex life they've actually got. Because any couple who is, not only sexually happy, but extremely fulfilled, they will undoubtedly vouch for the fact that, one of the main keys to an off-the-charts sex life is when both partners get off on pleasing each other.
In a nutshell, that's why we write articles like these. It's because we truly believe that if your man is all about getting you off, while you're all about returning the favor, automatically the two of you are well on your way to experiencing some really amazing intimacy and hopefully, even a few super orgasms along the way.
Speaking of super orgasms, the more heightened you and yours are, the easier it is to achieve them. So, let's get into some "sexual stimulation hacks" that can get your man damn near climbing the walls as much as he's (hopefully) trying to get you to do the same. You ready to blow his mind tonight? Let's do this.
1. Put on a Sweet Scent
Man. It's like there is an organization for everything on the planet. Today, it's all about The Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. When it comes to what they discovered turns men on, apparently, it's scents that lean on the sweeter sides of things. Vanilla, black licorice, donuts, orange and chocolate are all smells that typically send men to new heights of sensual desire. Also, I've shared on this platform, more than once, that the combination of pumpkin and lavender can increase the blood flow to a guy's genital region by as much as 40 percent. So, while you may be out here thinking that you need to spend a mint on perfume—excuse me, parfum—to turn your man on, some sweet-smelling essential oil or even maybe putting a little bit of donut glaze on your neck (or other sexual pressure points) is really (probably) all that you'll ever need to get his sense of smell into the game.
2. Wear Red. Or Be Butt Naked.
It's no secret that men are stimulated visually; very much so. That's why, if you want to "visually edge" your partner, "dressing up the present" is a great way to do it. According to several psychological studies, a color that a vast majority of men are highly sexually stimulated by is red. It really does make sense when you think about the fact that red symbolizes things like passion, lust and love. Plus, I don't know one Black woman who is not ABSOLUTELY KILLIN' THE GAME when she's got red on (whew!).
Here's the thing, though. When I asked a few of my male friends, if they were put in the position to have to choose between lingerie and a woman being in her birthday suit, about 70 percent of them said buck naked was their preference, by far. When I asked one of them why, he candidly said, "Lingerie is a tease tactic. It's the kind of s—t that we want to see you just walking around in, just because, more than it being some kind of sign that sex is about to go down. Let us see what we could be getting while you're just chillin' with a teddy on. Then, when we get into the bedroom, just be naked. The build-up from hours before of just looking at you will already have us wanting you on a whole 'nother level." Duly noted, sir.
3. Offer More (Ashwagandha) Tea. Less Alcohol.
Something that I believe all of us should do more often is get our hormone levels checked. There is so much about our health that can sometimes feel compromised, simply because our hormones are a little "off". A good example of this is men who have a lower level of testosterone. Some signs of that include less hair (on the head and body), reduced muscle mass, mood swings, fatigue, erectile dysfunction and yep—a lower sex drive. If your partner has any of these issues, it's a good idea for him to set an appointment with his physician so that he can get tested and, perhaps, to look into hormone therapy. However, if there's nothing super drastic going on, but you'd simply like him to have a little more pep in his step in the bedroom, a good idea would be to 1) push the alcohol bottle back and 2) to serve him some ashwagandha tea.
Why? Well, as far as alcohol goes, since it's a depressant, that means it can actually tank your partner's drive (not to mention, put him in a pretty pissy mood). As far as the tea goes, I actually listed ashwagandha tea in the article, "Plantain Flour, Spirulina & Other Uncommon Foods To Add To Your Diet" a while back. It is proven to reduce depression-related symptoms, decrease fertility challenges in men and, because it significantly increases testosterone levels, it's a tea that can also elevate your partner's libido and intensify his orgasms too. Yeah, forget Patrón. Get your man some herbal tea instead. See what that thing do tho, once you do.
4. Invest in a Ball Stretcher
Speaking of natural ways to increase a man's testosterone levels, another technique is to cop a ball stretcher. What the heck is that? It's basically a metal ring that fits (comfortably) around a man's testicles. Why would a guy want one? Well, when he puts the stretcher and it gently tugs at his scrotum and stretches it out, the result is it keeps his testicles/balls from retracting whenever he climaxes; as a result, his orgasms are significantly stronger. An added bonus is, if the stretcher is put on during foreplay, it can make a man's scrotum so much more sensitive to the touch. Some women say that they enjoy ball stretchers during intercourse as well because the ring grazing their body is an additional stimulant for them too. If a ball stretcher is something that you want to add to your sex collection, you can read about how to select your very first one here.
5. Give Him a Foot Massage
Quite possibly, this might be your something new for the day. Did you know that, while all of us have literally thousands of nerve endings in our feet, men have many more of them than women do? Now here's the trick.
If you offer to give your partner a foot massage and you specifically aim for his third toe and you go about one-third of the way down it, you will hit a pressure point that will encourage more blood to rush through his body, including his genitalia. When blood circulation increases, orgasms intensify.
And what if feet are sooooo not your thing? Thumbs are mad sensitive (due to all of the nerve endings in them) as well so, gently sucking on one of his (especially during sex) is a great alternative. Try it. I'd be shocked if you both didn't like it. A LOT.
6. Do Variations of the Cowgirl
While checking out an article on Women's Health Mag's site, it stated that they surveyed 800 men about what their favorite sexual position was. Can you guess what the results were? If your immediate thought is doggy style, you'd actually be correct (LOL)! Yet, what I found to be interesting, is the position that men wished women would get into more often is the cowgirl. When I asked some of my own male friends what they thought about that, they shared that the cowgirl is dope (to them) because the view is amazing, they like their partner being able to fully control her movements and, they noticed that she is able to have more multiple orgasms that way which, for them, meant they were able to get off a lot more. I don't know a lot of women who frown at riding, so…if you want to help your partner go to new heights, it's a win/win for you both if you get on top.
7. Get Out of the Bed(room)
While doggy style and the cowgirl sexual positions are fan favorites among the fellas, I conducted my own unofficial study to see what a lot of them wished would happen more often in the bedroom. You know what they said? They wanted to get out of it. When I then asked them to share some of their favorite places to have sex—the living room floor, the kitchen counter, the stairs, their deck in their backyard and in a chair, all topped their list. When I then asked them to expound on why, one answer, in particular, stayed with me. "Different places in the house makes sex more spontaneous. And, when you feel like your lady has just got to have you and she can't wait until you're in the bed, that already makes you wanna nut." Yep. That's a direct quote. (Oh, if you'd like a little more thinking-outside-of-the-box inspiration, check out Paired Life's offering, "200 Best Places Ever to Have Sex" and get inspired!)
8. Fondle His Frenulum
Be honest (with yourself). How much do you really know about the penis? If it's not much, I first recommend that you check out, "15 Pretty Tripped Out Things You May Not Know About Penises" because, the reality is, the more you educate yourself on something, the better you can be at "excelling" at it. Once you're a little more knowledgeable, then consider doing some frenulum fondling. The frenulum is the part of the skin that's on the underside of your partner's penis where the shaft and head of his penis connect. Because it's extremely sensitive, the frenulum can actually trigger more orgasms in a man than any other part of his penis. In walks, "Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage". #wink
9. Touch the Back of His Neck During Intercourse
Not too long ago, a male friend of mine and I were discussing a tweet that said something along the lines of, you're not a real freak unless you're into choking. My male friend was baffled by that because, as a self-professed freak (what man isn't, chile?), he had never done it before and wanted to understand the allure. If you're in the same boat as he is, the technical term for it is erotic asphyxiation; its "nickname" is breath play. The theory is that, by restricting a certain amount of oxygen to the brain, it intensifies climaxes. But even if you ain't that "freaky", something that you should definitely consider is touching the back of your partner's neck; especially during intercourse. It's another part of the body that is loaded with nerve endings so, slightly grazing it while you're dirty talking in the process, can increase his arousal and deepen his penetration which means…double the pleasure for you both!
10. Edge Him…to LIFE!
In the article, "Want A More Intense Orgasm? These Tips Are Sure To Make You Cream" that I wrote for xoNecole, something that I shouted out is edging. It's the practice of getting someone right to the brink of an orgasm and then pulling back so that, eventually, the orgasm is way stronger. Oftentimes, edging is mentioned in the context of intensifying our orgasms, but best believe, it works for men too. During intercourse, wait for him to let you know when he's at his point of climax and then…pause. Change positions. Kiss more. Touch an erogenous zone or two. Then start back up all over again. If you do this three times or so, when he is finally ready to blow, it'll be so powerful that it'll probably get you off in the process too! Yeah, edging really is one of the unsung heroes of intensified orgasms. Plus, it never ever gets old. That's why I'm always on the tip of—don't edge your man "to death"…edge him to life! He'll adore you all the more if/when you do. I guarantee it!
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