Got A Foot Fetish? It's More Common Than You Think.
So, there's this guy I went to college with who had the biggest foot fetish I've ever personally known of, to date. He stared at feet. He constantly critiqued feet. And when he spoke of them, he described feet with the same type of lust and affinity that other guys talk about our T&A. I truly had never seen anything like it. To take things over the top, his favorite kind of feet were pedicured ones that—wait for it—were sweaty (What. In. The. World?!). Yeah, I feel like a lot of you are staring at your monitor (or cell phone) and thinking to yourself, "I already know this is some white dude." But nope. He was very much so Black. A proud Nupe who was very active in Black organizations on the yard, in fact. As a wise person once said, "There are all kinds of ways to be Black."
Anyway, I'm not sure why I didn't inquire more about his borderline obsession with feet at the time. It's not that I have a natural aversion to them or anything. It's just that, other than when it's time to get a pedicure of my own, I don't really give feet much thought. Plus, it wasn't until I worked with a porn ministry and learned more about all of the fetishes that are out here in the world (if you're curious about what the current most common ones are, click here) that I ever got why people have fetishes in the first place. While some folks have them due to being on the spectrum of some sort of mental illness or their fetish is PTSD-related to some form of trauma, others dabble in fetishism as a coping mechanism (for instance, as a way to deal with stress).
Still, there are those who simply have a very strong preference for things that might seem "odd" when it comes to what sexually arouses them. Believe it or not, one of the most popular "arousals" is feet. Here's why.
So, What’s the Foot Fetish Thing All About, Anyway?
Let's begin with what a foot fetish is (the technical term is podophilia, by the way) by definition. It's when someone is sexually interested in feet. It can be the entire foot or a part of it like the ankles or toes. While some people are drawn to feet in their completely natural state, others' interest are piqued when a person's toes are polished or they notice someone who has a toe ring or ankle bracelet on. Then there are those who can literally get off while massaging a person's feet or even licking or sucking on them.
As far as how common foot fetishes are, it's kind of hard to tell. Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at The Kinsey Institute, once said in an interview for Men's Health, that 14 percent of the 4,000 individuals he surveyed claimed to have one. Another study that featured approximately 5,000 people revealed that almost half of the individuals who were asked about their "favorite fetish" had feet on the top of the list. So clearly, even if it's not spoken about openly or regularly, foot fetishes are pretty common out in these streets.
And just what is the fascination with feet, especially in a sexual sense? Those reasons run the gamut too. Some therapists say that it pulls in a submission aspect to sex. Because a lot of people find feet to literally be "below them", when the person with the fetish is able to subdue their partner in some way via feet play, it makes them feel more dominant and powerful. From a medical perspective, because there are well over 7,000 nerve endings in each of our feet, incorporating feet into sexual activity can potentially intensify orgasms (although, there are also studies that say it's easier to have orgasms with socks on so…there's that). Still, another theory is, because feet are covered up a lot of the time, those who have a foot fetish feel as if they are closer to their partner when both individuals have their feet exposed in each other's presence. Then there are the folks who don't have a clue why they like feet as much as they do.
Back in my sexually active days, I was definitely down for giving foot rubs. A few men did do some pretty impressive toe-sucking too (shout out to Aquariuses and my fellow Geminis on that one). But again, if feet never came into play in the bedroom, I definitely wouldn't have lost any sleep—or orgasms—over it. But after reading another fascinating reason why some people have this kind of fetish, I might just consider bringing more foot action into the equation, whenever I decide to hop back on the, umm, horse.
Have You Ever Had a Footgasm Before?
Out of all the reasons why people would be into feet, there is really only one that has me sold. It wasn't until several months ago that I was even aware that something like what I'm about to share even existed too. Have you ever heard of a footgasm before? It's literally when your feet are stimulated to the point where you climax. From what I've read, it's rarer than most other kinds of orgasms, but if you want to try to have one, this is what you do:
Have your partner put some warm massage oil in their hands. Then they should take one of your feet and, with the oil on their fingertips, they should gently-yet-deeply massage the soft part of your skin that is right beneath your toes and right above the arch of your foot. As they rub that area, it will not only help to relax your body, but it will send signals to your brain that will stimulate your genital region.
If they do this for about 10 minutes or so, while you might not experience a full-blown orgasm, what you do stand a great chance of is becoming so aroused that when you do have sex, your orgasms will be more intense and last longer. Feet are a reigning sexual pressure point, after all.
To me, what all of this boils down to is if you've got a foot fetish, it's nothing to be bashful about. It is quite evident that you are among friends. Oh, and if you're seeing someone who has one, try and keep an open mind. For those of us who aren't into feet in this way, it might seem a little odd, but if you can get a foot massage or possibly even an orgasm out of it, heck girl…why not?
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- Foot Fetish: How Common Is It? What Causes It? An Expert Explains. ›
- Why Some People Are Turned on By Feet - VICE ›
- What Is a Foot Fetish? We Asked Experts to Explain | Health.com ›
- Everything You Want to Know About Foot Fetishes, Explained | Allure ›
- Foot Fetishes: 8 FAQs About Why It Happens, Ways to Play, More ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Halle Berry On Aging Like Fine Wine: 'I've Always Known That I've Been More Than This Face'
If "aging like a fine wine" was a person, it'd be Halle Berry.
The 58-year-old Never Let Go star recently donned the cover of Marie Claire magazine and she let it be known that though people have highly regarded her beauty and her body throughout much of her career, she is happy to be at an age now where "people will focus on the other aspects of me that I think are way more interesting."
"I’ve always known that I’ve been more than this face and more than this body," she shares with Marie Claire.
The actress and wellness founder has never felt as defined by her looks as she does by the aspects of herself and her nature that she has carefully cultivated through lived experience, knowledge and wisdom gained, her craft and accolades, her motherhood-- she insists that those are the things about herself that move her the most. "I do take ownership over those things that I’ve worked really hard at, and if somebody finds value in those things that lights me up," she tells them.
With physically demanding roles like her directorial turn in Bruised (where she also played double duty as the film's star) and John Wick 3: Parabellum and the recently-released The Union, it's clear Halle isn't letting age slow her career down or stop her from taking on the types of roles that excite her inner child. She told Marie Claire age ain't nothin but a number:
"Age is just a number that they stick on us at birth. As women, we get defined by it way more than men do and sometimes it can debilitate us. It can trick us into thinking what we’re supposed to do. We have to kick that in the face and say, 'No, I’m going to do what I can do as long as I feel good doing it!' And that will be whatever I want it to be. I get to define that."
For Halle, doing what she can do looks like prioritizing her health which was never for aesthetic reasons as it was for longevity reasons. The actress received a diabetes diagnosis in her 20s and has managed to stay off insulin by staying away from sugar. She tells Marie Claire, "Sugar is the enemy. You couldn’t put anything sweet in front of me right now and pay me to eat it. I’m just not interested."
Halle attributes being at what she calls "the pinnacle" of her life and "feeling better and stronger than I did when I was in my 20s" to a regimen that centers on her health and wellness. This includes non-negotiables like daily workouts, red light therapy, progesterone, and hot and cold therapy, to name a few.
Read more of her Marie Claire cover story here.
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