Quantcast

Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage

You'll never see a light wand the same way. Literally.

Sex

If you are a diehard fan of the movie Love Jones, I'm sure you can quickly recall the scene when Darius said that when people say that the romance is dead, what they're really saying is that they've exhausted the possibilities. Agreed. That's why, whenever someone tells me that their sex life has hit a wall, I basically think the same thing. If the attraction and connection are still intact (and yes, those two things are key), I firmly believe that a couple can maintain the kind of sex life that is as fresh and exciting as the first year that they started gettin' it in. The key is to make passion a priority, to state your sexual needs (and wants), and to not be afraid to try new things—not just at Christmas or for birthdays either. Do it as much as possible.

As far as trying something new goes, boy, do I have something for y'all. Well, for him. Actually, if you do it right, it will ultimately be for the both of you. It's called a lingam massage and, with the pun totally intended here, it's one of the easiest and sexiest ways to get—and keep—your man hard. And happy. And from being anything but bored in your sexual relationship.

What Exactly Is a Lingam Massage?

media.giphy.com

Ah, the lingam massage. So, let's start with what lingam even means. I wouldn't be shocked in the least if you've heard the word "yoni", at least once this week already.

You probably know that it's referring to your vagina, but did you know the origin of the word itself? It's actually a Sanskirt word, and just like vagina has its own term, so does the penis. A penis is a lingam which also means "wand of light".

In the world of tantra, a man is encouraged to see his member as a literal wand of light that is able to perform supernatural acts (sounds pretty reasonable to me). Well, when it comes to massaging a light wand, the ultimate objective is to relax, then stimulate, then encourage intense multiple orgasms from your male partner. Some sex experts refer to this as a form of foreplay while others see it as an edging technique. Either way, it's great when it comes to you becoming (even more) comfortable and familiar with your partner's lingam. It's also really effective if you want him to feel treasured, pampered, esteemed and desired. I'd venture to say that all good lovers want this for their partner, right?

First, a Refresher Course on (a Part of) a Man’s Anatomy

media.giphy.com

As far as we, the actual massagers go, performing a lingam massage can be an excellent way to refamiliarize ourselves with the lower part of a man's anatomy. Why is this necessary? In order to give the best kind of lingam massage, all parts of "the wand" need to be catered to. This includes the base of a man's penis, his shaft, the head and, if he is uncircumcised, his foreskin (which is considered to be highly-sensitive). His testicles are important too, although they tend not be the main focal point for this particular kind of massage. They have their own kind of massage. We'll get into that at another time.

The base is what's closest to a man's pubic bone and perineum (the front area of his anus which is closest to his scrotum which holds his testicles). If a man is circumcised, he will have something that is known as the corona; it's the small ridge that separates his shaft from the head of his penis (if a man is uncircumcised, this ridge will be covered up). A man's head (or glans) is the tip of his penis; it's also where his urethral opening is (where urine and also sperm come out). If you want to give your man a stellar lingam massage, all of these parts must be tended to.

How to Prep for a Lingam Massage

media.giphy.com

I think that all of us can agree that in order for mind-blowing sex to transpire, there needs to be trust between both individuals.

With that in mind, before hitting your man up with a "How 'bout a lingam massage?" text, it's important to never forget how vulnerable this type of massage can make a man feel; especially if he lets you explore his perineum. That's why it's essential to set the right kind of atmosphere on the front end.

In other words, asking him to strip in your brightly lit living room in the middle of a television show is probably not the best approach.

Instead, take him to the bedroom. Dim the lights or, even better, light some scented soy candles (some smells that are both calming as well as relaxing include lavender, bergamot, clary sage and jasmine). Put on some music that is soothing and/or sensual to him (there's nothing wrong with asking him what playlist he'd prefer). Put on something that he loves to see you in, even if that is absolutely nothing at all (the skin-to-skin approach can make things even more erotic). Make sure that he places his head on a comfortable pillow; one that you might want to sprinkle with a little lavender essential oil so that he's able to relax even more. And finally, make sure that you have some water-based lube and some warm massage oil—both are what will take a lingam massage to the very next level. If you'd prefer to make both (just so you can feel good about all of the ingredients you are using), click here for some DIY lube recipes and here, here and here for some DIY massage oil ones.

How to Perform a Lingam Massage

media.giphy.com

Now that the mood has been properly set, let's get into the steps of how to perform a successful lingam massage:

  • Have your partner sit in an upright position on the side of the bed. Then kneel down in front of him.
  • Pour some of the lubricant into your hand. Warm it up a bit by rubbing your hands together for about 30 seconds or so.
  • Gently take hold of his penis with one hand and apply the lubricant down his shaft with the other.
  • As you get closer to his actual pubic bone, make small circular motions.

As you both become more comfortable, you can:

  • Use one of your hands to caress the base of his penis and you use the other to stroke his shaft, up to his head and back down to the base again.
  • Massage the tip of his penis with your thumb and index finger.
  • Interlock your fingers (similar to when you're about to say a prayer) and stroke his shaft up and down.
  • Use your thumb and fingers to massage his frenulum which is the part of the penis that is right underneath the head.
  • Throughout all of these techniques, encourage your partner to take slow and deep breaths; this will help to intensify the sensations that he feels.
  • As he becomes even more comfortable and relaxed, ask if you can give him a gentle and surface perineal massage. All you need to do is use the tip of your fingers to very gently caress his perineum (make sure to keep your nails out of the way).
  • Either continue the massage until he climaxes or "edge him on" (bring him to that point) and then transition into intercourse.

Do these things while sharing with your partner what you find to be special and appealing about him as a whole. As you're speaking, make sure that you not only concentrate on his shaft, but all of the parts that we discussed earlier. It will remind you that a lingam massage is not about "jacking him off"; it's about celebrating him and his penis. It's about making him feel safe, desired and honored. How could a man not have, at least a couple of orgasms, in this type of setting?

The more research that I do on lingam massages, the more I see that it truly is an act that reminds partners of how sex is not just a sexual but a spiritual act as well; that our genitalia is sacred in every way—and should be treated as such.

Hmph. Something tells me that a few fellas are gonna be some happy campers tonight. No need to thank us. When it comes to making sure your sex life stays on-point, we've got you covered, sis. Always.

Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:

10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm

I Asked 10 Men What Turned Them On. This Is What They Said.

Do You Swallow? The Unexpected Health Benefits Of Sperm

More Single Men Are "Pulling Out" Than Ever. That's Why You Should Read This.

Feature image by Shutterstock

Did you know that xoNecole has a podcast? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to join us for weekly convos over cocktails (without the early morning hangover.)

On December 4th, the New Moon Total Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius will carry the energy of your typical New Moon - times 100. Fresh starts and new beginnings as they relate to the things that expand your consciousness are featured by this transit. Now is a great time to explore yoga, make long-distance travel plans, or to check things off of your bucket list that will lead to a deeper and more fully rounded you.

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

Rico Nasty received the opportunity of a lifetime to tour with Playboi Carti, however, it seems like that dream has turned into a nightmare. The rapper joined Playboi Carti’s King Vamp tour as the opener and she has experienced everything, but a warm reception from fans attending the concerts. She has been booed while performing and during their tour stop in Portland, Oregon, the “Magic” rapper confronted the crowd after someone threw a bottle at her.

Keep reading... Show less

Off the rip, some of you may wonder what prompted me to write on a topic like this. There are two main causes for the inspiration. One, I find myself having a lot of conversations with women who can't seem to figure out, for the life of them, why sometimes their sexual experiences are the peak of pleasure while others are more on the ho-hum side. Secondly, I've read before that reportedly 46 percent of women have stated that they've always or almost always (whatever that means) have had an orgasm before while only six percent professed to it happening for them all of the time.

Keep reading... Show less

Ciara one-two-stepped her way into our lives over two decades ago and she's been giving ever since. I remember wanting to be just like her as I entered high school. She was beautiful, talented and an all-around five-star chick. From her style to the way she just seems so effortless, she was all that I wanted to be. To this day, she is still goals. Ciara once said about style, "I believe a person's style is an expression of who you are - way more than dancing."

Keep reading... Show less

Micro trends make the world go around. Just kidding, but they are really fun and add a certain je ne sais quoi to one's wardrobe. As the seasons change, there's a short-lived fashion cycle of certain clothing and accessory trends that have a sudden boom in popularity which last at least 1-2 years. Thanks to the invention of fast fashion, in most cases, these seasonal items are loved by the masses just to be thrown to the back of our closets within the next few months.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

'David Makes Man' Star Arlen Escarpeta Believes Love And Accountability Go Hand In Hand

"While we are quick to judge others, we really have to look at ourselves and call out some of the things that we do."

Latest Posts