

While many of us were excited to get a second go-round of our "Hot Girl Summer", the pandemic and the heat were the only things ablaze. Nonetheless, we survived summer and alas, Cuffing Season 2020 is closing in on us. While some of us are making last-minute recruits, the rest may already have someone on standby to keep things nice and hot during the fall and winter months. And yeah, cuddling is one way to make things uncomfortable and (if we're being real) unnecessarily hot, that's not the type of heat we had in mind. And because great minds think alike, neither did you!
We're looking for bonafide dick-downs all winter long. We're trying to figure out the best moves to keep things piping hot in the bedroom. We're bringing hot girl heat all year long! After all, we must compensate for the inability to bring the heat this summer. With that in mind, I reached out to a few Black and Brown sexperts to give you the gift of 7 'too hot to handle' sex positions. These positions are basic, making them simple to spice up and down. Keep reading to find out how each expert took a classic position and brought the flavor.
1.Sixty-Nine
"Although we normally think of sixy-nine as a way to introduce oral sex, the position also allows for other types of penetration, such as fingering (vaginally or anally). Maybe your partner and you decide to make this a wildcard alternating with some finger play! The nine or top, has a bit more flexibility in that they are able to penetrate their partner orally, digitally, or while using a toy. Meanwhile, the six (the bottom) is able to lie there and provide oral stimulation (also interchangeable with finger-play)--playfully and willfully submitting all power to the person on top.
"The top can also add to some breath play for the person lying down while adding pressure when sitting, smothering, and sliding back and forth."
*All acts of breath/choke play should be negotiated and consensually agreed by all partners.
- Amanda Cruz Gerena, MSW, M.Ed
2.Doggy Style
"There's something really sexy about this position! It likely has to do with how domineering this position is, while also providing intimacy through physical touch. But, it also has range allowing you to make it rough and fast or sensual, slow, and intimate. This position also allows for quick and easy transitions and the addition of toys, including butt plugs, clitoral clamps, and strap-ons."
- Kendra Cabrera, MSW, MEd
3.Girl on Top
"This is the perfect position for both penetration and clitoral stimulation. A big plus being that it reduces the stress placed on the legs, allowing you to focus your energy on pelvic thrusts which help with the contact pressure between the abdomen and clitoris. Being able to slide back and forth creates a wonderful clitoral friction. Not to mention, being on top can make space for other interaction between partners such as breast play, hair pulling, erotic asphyxiation. This position is great for either vaginal-penile, vaginal-dildo."
- Amanda Cruz Gerena, MS, M.Ed
4.Splitting Bamboo
"This position is a variation of missionary that allows for deeper penetration while still providing full body contact. With one leg lifted out of the way, the partner being penetrated has full access to their clitoris. Leaving room for the addition of a toy or manual stimulation. Also, the position works for those of all penis types to thrust deeper. The splitting bamboo can easily transition into other positions, such as elevated missionary and anal missionary."
- Janielle Bryan, MPH, CHES
5.Criss-Cross Missionary
"Another variety of missionary, this position is a crowd-pleaser and not simply because it [gives] much-needed breathing room. But also because of the change in sensations created as the top shifts their body weight on top of you from this angle. Furthermore, the sloped angle creates slight clitoral friction introducing yet another sensation.
"It also allows for some kinky fun, whether you grab a pair of cuffs or some rope--your partner can tie your ankles together while they're crossed (one lying on top of the other) or parallel to one another."
"This position also leaves your hands free to manually stimulate yourself, introduce a toy, or caress your partner. If you enjoyed some of the more kinky suggestions, you might also consider having your partner immobilize your arms with the help of a spreader bar."
- Kiarra, MSW, M.ED
6.Jackhammer
This position is simple enough to execute but what makes it so nice is that it gives you easy access to the gooch (for men) and the g-spot. In order to execute, you want to sit on a flat surface with your legs slightly bent while your partner stands over your head slightly crouching. You'll anchor them by grabbing their waist with one hand and gently hugging them. Use your free arm in order to caress or stroke the penis or clitoris. This position is for the pleaser in you that enjoys sitting with a smug face while your partner gets off. Now you get to do so with an all-access pass.
7.Downward Dog-Camel Ride Hybrid
"A mixture of downward dog and the camel ride. The bottom person lies on their stomach with their legs slightly bent and straddled. While the top or penis-person straddles their partner's legs, making a scissoring motion. This position is sexy and great for those who have mobility issues as there is no pressure on the knees in the way that positions such as cowgirl do."
- Sabrina B., MSW, M.Ed
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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After Decades-Long Career, Terri J. Vaughn Is Finally The Main Character: Exclusive
Terri J. Vaughn first captured our attention in the late ‘90s as Lovita Alizay Jenkins on The Steve Harvey Show. Decades later, she is starring in her very own series, She The People, which is now available to stream on Netflix.
The political sitcom, which she co-created with Niya Palmer and later teamed up with Tyler Perry Studios, is about a Black woman named Antoinette Dunkerson who runs for lieutenant governor of Mississippi. She wins and becomes the state’s first Black lieutenant governor. Now, she’s forced to balance working with a racist and sexist governor while also trying to keep her family from running amok.
According to the beloved actress, this project was a long time coming. “I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff,” she says in an exclusive interview with xoNecole.
“But just keep going, because this is what I do. This is what I love, and I know how important it is for us to continue to show up and make sure that we are seen, make sure that our voices are heard. For several reasons. I just never give up. So here I am, 20 years later, finally sold my show.”
She The People is inspired by the true story of London Breed, who became the first Black female mayor of San Francisco, Terri’s hometown. And to help make the show more authentic, the Cherish the Day actress tapped former Atlanta mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms to come on as a producer.'“I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff."
After bringing the former mayor aboard, it was time to pitch again. And this time, the companies were pitching them. Ultimately, Terri decided to work with Tyler Perry on the series.
“We decided to do it with Tyler for several reasons. I love that. Well, most of the companies we met with were Black-owned companies, but he was the only studio,” she explains. “Tyler is like Walt Disney. That's literally what he is. He has the studio, he has the content. He operates just like Walt Disney.”
And thanks to the cast, the show is nothing short of laughs. The series also stars social media creator Jade Novah as Antoinette’s crazy cousin/ assistant, Shamika, Family Mattersstar Jo Marie Payton as Anotinette’s mom, Cleo, and Terri’s husband, Karon Riley, who plays Michael, her driver and love interest.
While we’ve watched Terri’s career blossom in various ways. From directing to producing, and playing diverse characters, the mom of two says her The Steve Harvey Show character will always be her favorite.
“Well, Lovita was definitely my favorite, especially for my time, the age and everything that I was. Now as a grown ass woman over 50, Antoinette Dunkerson is everything that I've wanted to play. She's everything. She's a mother of two teenagers. She's divorced, so she's co-parenting with her ex-husband. She has to wrangle in a very eclectic family,” she says.
“So I like playing characters that are really flawed and trying to figure it out and doing their best to try to figure it. And she's very flawed and she is trying to figure it out, and she fucks up sometimes. But her heart and what she's trying to do and what her vision is and purpose, it's all for the people. I mean, she the people. She’s for the people, she is the people.”
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