7 Sex Positions That Are Too Hot To Handle
While many of us were excited to get a second go-round of our "Hot Girl Summer", the pandemic and the heat were the only things ablaze. Nonetheless, we survived summer and alas, Cuffing Season 2020 is closing in on us. While some of us are making last-minute recruits, the rest may already have someone on standby to keep things nice and hot during the fall and winter months. And yeah, cuddling is one way to make things uncomfortable and (if we're being real) unnecessarily hot, that's not the type of heat we had in mind. And because great minds think alike, neither did you!
We're looking for bonafide dick-downs all winter long. We're trying to figure out the best moves to keep things piping hot in the bedroom. We're bringing hot girl heat all year long! After all, we must compensate for the inability to bring the heat this summer. With that in mind, I reached out to a few Black and Brown sexperts to give you the gift of 7 'too hot to handle' sex positions. These positions are basic, making them simple to spice up and down. Keep reading to find out how each expert took a classic position and brought the flavor.
1.Sixty-Nine
"Although we normally think of sixy-nine as a way to introduce oral sex, the position also allows for other types of penetration, such as fingering (vaginally or anally). Maybe your partner and you decide to make this a wildcard alternating with some finger play! The nine or top, has a bit more flexibility in that they are able to penetrate their partner orally, digitally, or while using a toy. Meanwhile, the six (the bottom) is able to lie there and provide oral stimulation (also interchangeable with finger-play)--playfully and willfully submitting all power to the person on top.
"The top can also add to some breath play for the person lying down while adding pressure when sitting, smothering, and sliding back and forth."
*All acts of breath/choke play should be negotiated and consensually agreed by all partners.
- Amanda Cruz Gerena, MSW, M.Ed
2.Doggy Style
"There's something really sexy about this position! It likely has to do with how domineering this position is, while also providing intimacy through physical touch. But, it also has range allowing you to make it rough and fast or sensual, slow, and intimate. This position also allows for quick and easy transitions and the addition of toys, including butt plugs, clitoral clamps, and strap-ons."
- Kendra Cabrera, MSW, MEd
3.Girl on Top
"This is the perfect position for both penetration and clitoral stimulation. A big plus being that it reduces the stress placed on the legs, allowing you to focus your energy on pelvic thrusts which help with the contact pressure between the abdomen and clitoris. Being able to slide back and forth creates a wonderful clitoral friction. Not to mention, being on top can make space for other interaction between partners such as breast play, hair pulling, erotic asphyxiation. This position is great for either vaginal-penile, vaginal-dildo."
- Amanda Cruz Gerena, MS, M.Ed
4.Splitting Bamboo
"This position is a variation of missionary that allows for deeper penetration while still providing full body contact. With one leg lifted out of the way, the partner being penetrated has full access to their clitoris. Leaving room for the addition of a toy or manual stimulation. Also, the position works for those of all penis types to thrust deeper. The splitting bamboo can easily transition into other positions, such as elevated missionary and anal missionary."
- Janielle Bryan, MPH, CHES
5.Criss-Cross Missionary
"Another variety of missionary, this position is a crowd-pleaser and not simply because it [gives] much-needed breathing room. But also because of the change in sensations created as the top shifts their body weight on top of you from this angle. Furthermore, the sloped angle creates slight clitoral friction introducing yet another sensation.
"It also allows for some kinky fun, whether you grab a pair of cuffs or some rope--your partner can tie your ankles together while they're crossed (one lying on top of the other) or parallel to one another."
"This position also leaves your hands free to manually stimulate yourself, introduce a toy, or caress your partner. If you enjoyed some of the more kinky suggestions, you might also consider having your partner immobilize your arms with the help of a spreader bar."
- Kiarra, MSW, M.ED
6.Jackhammer
This position is simple enough to execute but what makes it so nice is that it gives you easy access to the gooch (for men) and the g-spot. In order to execute, you want to sit on a flat surface with your legs slightly bent while your partner stands over your head slightly crouching. You'll anchor them by grabbing their waist with one hand and gently hugging them. Use your free arm in order to caress or stroke the penis or clitoris. This position is for the pleaser in you that enjoys sitting with a smug face while your partner gets off. Now you get to do so with an all-access pass.
7.Downward Dog-Camel Ride Hybrid
"A mixture of downward dog and the camel ride. The bottom person lies on their stomach with their legs slightly bent and straddled. While the top or penis-person straddles their partner's legs, making a scissoring motion. This position is sexy and great for those who have mobility issues as there is no pressure on the knees in the way that positions such as cowgirl do."
- Sabrina B., MSW, M.Ed
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images