

Did you masturbate today?
This is my girlfriend's greeting for me almost every time she enters my home (because any other greeting would be in poor taste).
And because I sleep with my favorite vibrator under my pillow (small but mighty), the answer is always a solid "yes."
Arousal and pleasure achieved through masturbation is pertinent to maintaining our sexual health. Nonetheless, safe sex (equally pertinent) is always better and still applies when you're sexing yourself. That said, before going rabid with your favorite rabbit, bullet, or whatever you're packing, let's go deeper to understand what this mean. Really, it's simple:
Stop. Being. Cheap.
It can be all too easy to simply request the most powerful, inexpensive toy in the building. However, pleasure is not a luxury but a necessity. With that said, we should invest in our sex toys with the same candor and care that we invest in our bundles, flattering jeans, and time spent teaching ourselves how to please others.
However, bear in mind that your orgasm can only be bought to an extent, as the amount of money you spend on a toy holds little proof of pleasure. Take it from someone who has tested some of the prettiest, priciest, and somehow reputable sex toys (I suppose not everyone likes to be shooketh after masturbation). Conversely, there's certainly a reasonable starting price point that ensures you find a quality toy, and spoiler alert, it's probably not the bullets found in the fishbowl on top of the counter.
To aid you on your mission to investing in a quality sex toy, I've consulted with some of the most sought after sexperts to help you choose wisely.
1.Be Materialistic
Womanizer 2go Clitoral Stimulator in Chic Black Gold
When I say "be materialistic," I don't mean in the most literal sense but do be picky and research what your toys are made of. If you are what you eat, then you're probably also whatever enters the orifices of your body as well. Right?
Dr. Lenae Saint John, founder of the Mamasutra, recommends steering clear of any toys with a "harsh plastic smell," as she stresses the importance of quality materials. She explains that toys with this odor are presumably "off-gassing" and thus she doesn't want it near her body. Meaning you probably shouldn't either. "I won't purchase an item if it's not made with high quality medical grade silicone, for example. It feels very nice to touch and it's body-safe."
We also spoke with Dr. Jess O'Reilly, Astroglide's resident sexologist, to get her take on the material we should look for. Her recommendations include the "use [of] 100% silicone or borosilicate glass toys to reduce the risks associated with pores." She offers ABS plastic and stainless steel as additional options, adding that silicone and glass toys are examples of non-porous materials and only require soap and water for sanitizing.
Alex Fima, founder of the Velvet Co. pleasure collection, seconds the emphasis on silicone. "Body-safe silicone is best. Other materials can break or fray more easily. Cheap silicone will also gum up if used with a silicone-based lubricant," he writes.
However, should you continue to use toys with porous material including jelly, plastic, rubber, and PVC, Dr. O'Reilly recommends using a condom with these toys when possible due to the difficulty of conducting a deep clean, given their porosity. She notes: "Even if you clean the surface or purchase a so-called antibacterial sex toy cleaner, bacteria can live in the pores."
2.Stay On Ten
LELO MONA 2 Luxury G-Spot Vibrator
I've heard way too many women gasp when I mention my rechargeable batteries, totally oblivious to the fact that they exist in 2018. Unless, we're talking OG Hitachi, in which case we want the full throwback experience...maybe? Then there's no good reason you should still be fleeing to find batteries for your toys and worse, replacing an entire toy because you can't find those little pill looking batteries. You think I'm being dramatic? Fima, qualifies a rechargeable battery as "a standard of modern electrical sex toys."
With a rechargeable vibrator, the only thing I ever want for is the patience to let it catch a full charge or the expected level of logic and duty to self that just remembers to put the damn thing on the charger when it first starts shooting off LED smoke flares.
3.Squirt Gun Resistant
Tango by We-Vibe - Powerful Mini-Vibe
Aside from the obvious desire to use your toys in the bath or shower, I personally feel a certain level of concern that my continuous and uncontrollable transformation into a super soaker will send my toy to an early grave if it's not water resistant.
Furthermore, Fima ends any debate as he presents the health concerns being simply that: "Non-water resistant materials can absorb body fluids and become breeding grounds for bacteria."
4.Priority Pleasure
LELO LOKI Wave Dynamic Vibrating Prostate Massager
After you've ensured that your options are safe for your body, make sure it meets your sexual standard. What gets you off? O'Reilly says, "The type of toy you pick will also depend on the ways in which you experience sexual pleasure," and recommends that you reflect and consider the answers to questions like:
- Do you want something that vibrates or to you prefer to apply pressure manually?
- Which area do you want to stimulate? You can get toys for the base of the penis, the head of the penis, the perineum, the full penis, the anus, the nipples, the clitoris, the G-spot, the vagina, the vulva, etcetera, etc.
- Do you want to use the toy alone or with a partner (or both)?
- Do you want a toy that is app enabled so that you can play while you're apart?
- Do you prefer external or internal stimulation?
- Do you want a waterproof toy?
I can't emphasize this enough, as with anything else related to your body: food, clothes, and men - be choosy about what goes into it. Keep that same energy, sis.
Your health and your high vibrations will thank you for it later.
Want more stories like this? Check out these related xoNecole reads:
Using A Crystal Dildo Changed More Than My Sex Life
It's A Vibe: The One Vibrator Every Woman Needs
So Your Man's Not Feeling Your Sex Toys, Here's How to Change That
I Became A Dominatrix To Reclaim My Power After An Abusive Relationship
Featured image by Getty Images
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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How Your Rising Sign Is The Key To Unlocking More Financial Abundance In Your Life
Abundance is a mindset and it's one you can obtain more effortlessly by knowing your birth chart. Your birth chart in Astrology reflects your cosmic blueprint for this lifetime and maps out things for you like your purpose, destiny, and financial potential. There are key ways to earn income or increase your finances and Astrology helps you dive into that. By knowing your financial strengths, weaknesses, and gifts, you can enhance the abundance surrounding you and align yourself more with what resonates.
In Astrology, there are a few areas of your birth chart that signify what your financial world looks like and have the potential to look at as well. Your 2nd house, rules your finances, personal income, and values, your 8th house rules your shared finances and the money you receive from partnerships or through marriage, and your 11th house rules your hopes and dreams, manifestations, and what you have accumulated through your career or business. The sign Venus also represents finances and luxury, and the placement of this planet is key to understanding your financial purpose as well.
We each come into this life with specific skill sets and perspectives that have the potential to help us live the life of our dreams and fulfill our intentions. By understanding where you tend to naturally thrive in life, you open the door to financial freedom and empowerment. What the stars say about your financial potential is the inspiration you need to walk through that door.
Read for your rising sign below to see how to unlock your key to abundance.
How Your Rising Sign Unlocks Abundance
ARIES RISING
Your key to unlocking abundance involves creating concrete, long-term, financial plans. With Taurus in the 2nd house, you have a natural gift for money and you know how to build something from the ground up. You create beauty, love, and stability in the world, and your ability to make people feel comfortable will help you financially succeed. Taurus in the 2nd house are collectors as well, and you have a good eye.
With Scorpio in your 8th house, the partnerships and connections you form help you increase your income and earnings. It’s not about overly relying on others financially, but knowing there is support there for you when you need it. Your financial potential overall involves how much you are dedicating yourself to your dreams and doing things that will provide stability and security in your life.
TAURUS RISING
As a Taurus Rising, you have Gemini in the 2nd house, and there are a lot of different avenues in which you can earn an income. You will most likely have multiple streams of income in fact, and your capacity to learn, grow, and expand financially is endless.
You thrive in communication, publication, and collaborative worlds, and your networking abilities will help you succeed in life.
By educating yourself and expanding your mind, you can use this knowledge to help you connect, sell, and raise awareness to others. With Pisces in the 11th house, you have lucky Jupiter helping you make your dreams come true and creating miracles in your life. No one sees things the way you do, use this to your advantage when it comes to your finances and goals here.
GEMINI RISING
For you, you are more emotionally tied to your finances and sense of stability than most. With Cancer in your 2nd house, you have a strong intuition regarding money matters, but you may also feel like things fluctuate a lot for you here. Your key to unlocking your personal abundance comes by finding the things that you hold value in, thinking about your purpose and the legacy you want to leave behind, and owning your nurturing abilities.
You are a natural caregiver, creator, and protector, and can thrive in roles such as these. Cancer in the 2nd house also shows an ability to earn through real estate, antiques, or investments. With Capricorn in the 8th house, your logic will help you execute your plans and goals, and you are always thinking one step ahead. People may underestimate you often, use this to your advantage.
CANCER RISING
As a Cancer Rising, you thrive when you are able to take charge and lead your creative efforts. With Leo in the 2nd house, you are a charismatic soul and you are meant to take center stage in life. Your creativity, confidence, and courage will set you apart from others, and you will financially succeed in roles where you have some type of authority or can express yourself freely.
With Aquarius in the 8th house, you may also find your financial power when it comes to technology or social media. You are a natural influencer and people want to know what you think about things and what your current obsessions are. You are the star of the show, remembering that is your key to unlocking your abundance in this lifetime.
LEO RISING
You have Virgo in the 2nd house, and unlocking your key to abundance involves getting organized, sticking to a routine, and doing things that benefit others or society in some way. You are typically found in roles that involve being of service and you also have a gift with your words. Careers such as writing, speaking, publishing, health roles, and healing treatments all serve you well.
With Gemini in the 11th house as well, you have a gift for networking, communication, building a group or a team, and succeeding in your collaborative efforts. Don’t let your need for perfection take you away from your potential regarding your ability to connect with others and build something inspiring. Your vision, partnerships, selfless attitude, and creativity will help you financially succeed.
VIRGO RISING
As a Virgo Rising, you are a hard worker and have a lot of beauty and wisdom to share with the world. You have Libra in the 2nd house, signifying a creative soul and someone who can earn an income through art, interior design, fashion, or therapeutic and beauty practices.
You have a gift when it comes to creating things appealing to the eye, and you resonate with the more luxurious spheres of life.
Aries in the 8th house signifies a drive to succeed, and you financially move through a lot of transformations in this lifetime that lead you closer to your dreams. Creating a business that you are passionate about or being a part of a legacy that creates something beautiful for the world, helps you financially succeed in life.
LIBRA RISING
Financially, you evolve over time. The key here for you with Scorpio in the 2nd house, is to trust your intuition when it comes to what to invest in and what to spend your time and energy on. Know that with any setback you may encounter financially, you will rise above more abundantly and successfully. You have a unique way of understanding the undercurrents and concept of money, use this to your advantage.
With Leo in the 11th house, you succeed when you are confident, standing out from the crowd, and doing things that feel authentic and natural for you. You are meant to shine and inspire others through your charisma, personality, and strong intuition.
SCORPIO RISING
With a Scorpio Rising, you have Sagittarius in the 2nd, and financial freedom is very important to you in this lifetime. You are working towards building a legacy for yourself through your wisdom, knowledge, and quest for understanding. You inspire others in your own unique way, and this is a placement for many teachers or guides in this world.
Virgo in the 11th house reminds you to get clear on the things you want for yourself and the plans or dedication it will take to get there. Your intelligence and your capacity to see all perspectives and express yourself in a grounded way is what is going to unlock your key to abundance.
SAGITTARIUS RISING
Financially, you have a lot of potential to succeed in this lifetime. With Capricorn in your 2nd house of income, you are business-savvy and have a knack for money. You know what the world needs more of, and you are the one to provide it. Through your work ethic and need to succeed, you are someone who can be found in higher positions within a business or company.
Cancer in the 8th house also shows that you find financial empowerment by dedicating yourself to a cause or career that holds deep importance for you and your heart. The people you meet along the way are also key to recognizing your dreams and financial abundance.
CAPRICORN RISING
As a Capricorn Rising, you have Aquarius in the 2nd house which shows a gift in community, networking, and social media. You are a trendsetter and are ahead of time when it comes to trends, fashion, and ideals. You have a unique vision and ability to succeed in this lifetime through your manifestation potential.
With Scorpio in the 11th house, you can build a team or an organization and lead yourself and others to success. Your acquaintances and friendships throughout life will help you meet the right people and get the right opportunities. You always need to be thinking big when it comes to your finances, and know that you have what it takes to succeed.
AQUARIUS RISING
For you, financial success comes from your imagination and your hope for it all. With Pisces in the 2nd house, you view your financial world through a spiritual and creative lens, and the opportunities for you in this lifetime are vast. You need a lot of freedom within your career and you need to be doing things that allow you to express your creativity.
With Sagittarius in the 11th house of your hopes and dreams, you will succeed when you are stepping out of your comfort zone, traveling, and exploring new things. Your knowledge combined with lucky Jupiter, makes you someone who is more lucky than most when it comes to making your financial dreams come true. Remain positive and know your path to abundance won’t look like everyone else's.
PISCES RISING
You have Aries in the 2nd house, and financially you feel empowered when you are going after your individual dreams and intentions and are in leadership roles. Entrepreneurship inspires you, and you know how to lead a team. Taking initiative when it comes to your financial world is key here, and you need a certain sense of freedom when it comes to your career and working life.
Libra in the 8th house signifies abundance through your love life, marriage, business partnerships, or commitments and people are more willing to lend you a helping hand than most, use this to your advantage. Overall, your key to abundance is taking initiative, creating things never seen before, and using your charming personality to attract the support you need to succeed.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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Featured image by Igor Alecsander/Getty Images
Originally published on February 6, 2025