Did you masturbate today?
This is my girlfriend's greeting for me almost every time she enters my home (because any other greeting would be in poor taste).
And because I sleep with my favorite vibrator under my pillow (small but mighty), the answer is always a solid "yes."
Arousal and pleasure achieved through masturbation is pertinent to maintaining our sexual health. Nonetheless, safe sex (equally pertinent) is always better and still applies when you're sexing yourself. That said, before going rabid with your favorite rabbit, bullet, or whatever you're packing, let's go deeper to understand what this mean. Really, it's simple:
Stop. Being. Cheap.
It can be all too easy to simply request the most powerful, inexpensive toy in the building. However, pleasure is not a luxury but a necessity. With that said, we should invest in our sex toys with the same candor and care that we invest in our bundles, flattering jeans, and time spent teaching ourselves how to please others.
However, bear in mind that your orgasm can only be bought to an extent, as the amount of money you spend on a toy holds little proof of pleasure. Take it from someone who has tested some of the prettiest, priciest, and somehow reputable sex toys (I suppose not everyone likes to be shooketh after masturbation). Conversely, there's certainly a reasonable starting price point that ensures you find a quality toy, and spoiler alert, it's probably not the bullets found in the fishbowl on top of the counter.
To aid you on your mission to investing in a quality sex toy, I've consulted with some of the most sought after sexperts to help you choose wisely.
1.Be Materialistic
Womanizer 2go Clitoral Stimulator in Chic Black Gold
When I say "be materialistic," I don't mean in the most literal sense but do be picky and research what your toys are made of. If you are what you eat, then you're probably also whatever enters the orifices of your body as well. Right?
Dr. Lenae Saint John, founder of the Mamasutra, recommends steering clear of any toys with a "harsh plastic smell," as she stresses the importance of quality materials. She explains that toys with this odor are presumably "off-gassing" and thus she doesn't want it near her body. Meaning you probably shouldn't either. "I won't purchase an item if it's not made with high quality medical grade silicone, for example. It feels very nice to touch and it's body-safe."
We also spoke with Dr. Jess O'Reilly, Astroglide's resident sexologist, to get her take on the material we should look for. Her recommendations include the "use [of] 100% silicone or borosilicate glass toys to reduce the risks associated with pores." She offers ABS plastic and stainless steel as additional options, adding that silicone and glass toys are examples of non-porous materials and only require soap and water for sanitizing.
Alex Fima, founder of the Velvet Co. pleasure collection, seconds the emphasis on silicone. "Body-safe silicone is best. Other materials can break or fray more easily. Cheap silicone will also gum up if used with a silicone-based lubricant," he writes.
However, should you continue to use toys with porous material including jelly, plastic, rubber, and PVC, Dr. O'Reilly recommends using a condom with these toys when possible due to the difficulty of conducting a deep clean, given their porosity. She notes: "Even if you clean the surface or purchase a so-called antibacterial sex toy cleaner, bacteria can live in the pores."
Want more stories like this? Check out these related xoNecole reads:
Using A Crystal Dildo Changed More Than My Sex Life
It's A Vibe: The One Vibrator Every Woman Needs
So Your Man's Not Feeling Your Sex Toys, Here's How to Change That
I Became A Dominatrix To Reclaim My Power After An Abusive Relationship
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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