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Intensify His Pleasure With The Help Of These Sex Toys

These finds come in handy, pun intended.

Sex

Over here at xoNecole, we are all about prioritizing female pleasure, be it in the boardroom or the bedroom. It's the reason why articles like "Self-Pleasure Changed How I Experience Sex"and "I Tried Masturbating For 7 Days As An Act Of Self-Care" exist on our platform. By extension, we are also big fans of the male pleasure principle (peep "You Can Take Your Man's Orgasm To A Whole 'Nother Level" as an example). The bodies we've been given are truly an artform and the way they can be stroked and strummed like instruments on the journey to ecstasy is a wonder in and of itself.

As both a giver and receiver of sexual acts, I find myself constantly on the hunt for different ways to elevate the pleasure felt, as a couple and as a soloist. Lately, my fixation of choice has been on hand jobs and how to make it a more intense experience for my partner. It's no secret, most men will tell you that when it comes to hand jobs, their preferred hand putting in the work is their own. Poll any warm-blooded male on which job they prefer your help in performing in the bedroom, and chances are the "hand" variety is the absolute last thing on their mind (well below "blow" and "tit", my loves).

I liken it to how I mostly feel about fingering. No matter the touch, the instruction, or care, no one can touch me the way I touch myself. To be fair, we are all masters of our own sensual experiences, so it's no surprise that self-pleasure can provide electricity in different ways than partner sex can (different, not necessarily better just different). However, to help kick things up a notch in the approach to hand jobs, masturbation sleeves, or male pleasure sleeves, are stepping in with the assist!

What Is A Masturbation Sleeve & How Does It Work?

For those of you who aren't familiar with masturbation sleeves, they are male sex toys that are usually made out of silicone, Elastomer, or cyber skin. No matter the material, they usually have a "sleeve-like" appearance intended to envelop an erect penis. With the help of your lube of choice, it's heralded for being ideal when it comes to intensifying his pleasure. Although the sleeve can be used during masturbation, it can also come in handy (no pun intended) with hand jobs, as well as blowjobs, adding another layer of pleasure to sex acts, during both solo and couple play.

Ready to elevate your hand and your head game? In addition to masturbation sleeves, here are the best sex toys to take his pleasure to the next level.

The Best Sex Toys For His Pleasure

*Some of these links are affiliate links. If you decide to make a purchase, xoNecole may earn a small commission.

Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage

Amazon

Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage

$35

Trojan Tantrix Male Pleasure Sleeve

Trojan

Trojan Tantrix Male Pleasure Sleeve

Tenga Easy Beat Egg Male Masturbator

Amazon

Tenga Easy Beat Egg Male Masturbator

$32

Lelo Tor 2 Luxury Rechargeable Vibrating Cock Ring

Lelo

Lelo Tor 2 Luxury Rechargeable Vibrating Cock Ring

$140

TENGA Zero Flip Men Masturbation Device

Amazon

TENGA Zero Flip Men Masturbation Device

$80

Featured image by Shutterstock

When I was ten, my Sunday school teacher put on a brief performance in class that included some of the boys standing in front of the classroom while she stood in front of them holding a heart shaped box of chocolate. One by one, she tells each boy to come and bite a piece of candy and then place the remainder back into the box. After the last boy, she gave the box of now mangled chocolate over to the other Sunday school teacher — who happened to be her real husband — who made a comically puzzled face. She told us that the lesson to be gleaned from this was that if you give your heart away to too many people, once you find “the one,” that your heart would be too damaged. The lesson wasn’t explicitly about sex but the implication was clearly present.

That memory came back to me after a flier went viral last week, advertising an abstinence event titled The Close Your Legs Tour with the specific target demo of teen girls came across my Twitter timeline. The event was met with derision online. Writer, artist, and professor Ashon Crawley said: “We have to refuse shame. it is not yours to hold. legs open or not.” Writer and theologian Candice Marie Benbow said on her Twitter: “Any event where 12-17-year-old girls are being told to ‘keep their legs closed’ is a space where purity culture is being reinforced.”

“Purity culture,” as Benbow referenced, is a culture that teaches primarily girls and women that their value is to be found in their ability to stay chaste and “pure”–as in, non-sexual–for both God and their future husbands.

I grew up in an explicitly evangelical house and church, where I was taught virginity was the best gift a girl can hold on to until she got married. I fortunately never wore a purity ring or had a ceremony where I promised my father I wouldn’t have pre-marital sex. I certainly never even thought of having my hymen examined and the certificate handed over to my father on my wedding day as “proof” that I kept my promise. But the culture was always present. A few years after that chocolate-flavored indoctrination, I was introduced to the fabled car anecdote. “Boys don’t like girls who have been test-driven,” as it goes.

And I believed it for a long time. That to be loved and to be desired by men, it was only right for me to deny myself my own basic human desires, in the hopes of one day meeting a man that would fill all of my fantasies — romantically and sexually. Even if it meant denying my queerness, or even if it meant ignoring how being the only Black and fat girl in a predominantly white Christian space often had me watch all the white girls have their first boyfriends while I didn’t. Something they don’t tell you about purity culture – and that it took me years to learn and unlearn myself – is that there are bodies that are deemed inherently sinful and vulgar. That purity is about the desire to see girls and women shrink themselves, make themselves meek for men.

Purity culture isn’t unlike rape culture which tells young girls in so many ways that their worth can only be found through their bodies. Whether it be through promiscuity or chastity, young girls are instructed on what to do with their bodies before they’ve had time to figure themselves out, separate from a patriarchal lens. That their needs are secondary to that of the men and boys in their lives.

It took me a while —after leaving the church and unlearning the toxic ideals around purity culture rooted in anti-Blackness, fatphobia, heteropatriarchy, and queerphobia — to embrace my body, my sexuality, and my queerness as something that was not only not sinful or dirty, but actually in line with the vision God has over my life. Our bodies don't stop being our temples depending on who we do or who we don’t let in, and our worth isn’t dependent on the width of our legs at any given point.

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