In the early days of becoming acquainted with my body, I focused my attention primarily on my clitoris. I remember being young and curious and wondering why it was touches to that area left me wrought with spasms nothing short of euphoric. That bundle of nerves is responsible for over 7,000 nerve endings and because of its high nerve concentration, it can be easy to fixate one's attention on that part of the body, but other parts of the body shouldn't go overlooked.
Involving others to indulge in and engage with my body led me to exploring other erogenous zones of my body, parts of me that felt dormant until awakened by the tender love and care of a beau. The touch from a lover can ignite a trail of fire in parts of your body you didn't know desired that kind of feeling. Tapping into the pleasure principles of erogenous zones leads to optimal arousal during foreplay, which in turn leads to a heightened sexual experience.
Read on for examples of erogenous parts of the body you and your partner should explore during sex:
THE LIPS
“A good kisser really turns me on. I like it when they know how to kiss me just softly enough. I like sucking on one another's lips and then licking one another's lips. No tongue. Tease me with it." - Jean
The mouth is actually a very sensitive part of the body, which is why kissing can sometimes feel so damn good whenever we engage in the act with someone else. Increase how intensely you feel the sensation there by alternating in speed and depth of how you kiss your mouth. Go from soft and sensual to deep and passionate, tender and brief to purposeful with plenty of tongue.
THE NIPPLES - WOMEN
“I love it when my girlfriend takes one of her tits and puts it in my mouth and pushes my head against her while I suck on her nipple. I can hear her moans around me and feel it through her body while I'm taking her. It's the sexiest thing and I get super turned on." - Kathy
Breasts aren't just for grabbing – suck the tit, tantalize the tit. Caressing the breasts does create pleasure throughout the body, but it's nothing like having the attention front and center on the nipple. They are a vessel of sensitivity and deserve love and affection. Incorporate them during foreplay by having your lover suck on them, flicking them with his/her tongue, and if you're a little daring, have them nibble on it a bit. The amount of pressure you enjoy varies from person to person, but the reality is the same, playing with your nipples is an instant panty-soaker.
“For me, there's nothing like getting head from my guy while he touches my nipples at the same time. It's all I need to get hot." – Elle
MEN, TOO
“I like a lot of things during foreplay. I like positions that facilitate mutual oral like 69 or on our sides. What I really, really like is my nipples being sucked by the firm lips of a woman." - Matthew
Men can enjoy receiving attention on their nipples too. As mentioned above, nipples are a very sensitive part of the human body, but because they are sexualized more so on women due to our breasts, people sometimes overlook the fact that men have nipples with pleasure-receptive nerve endings too. Trace gentle circles around his nipples with your fingers or nails to tease him. Use your mouth to outline his nipple with your tongue, practice flicking against it, bringing it into your mouth to suck briefly, and then giving a little bite. He'll hiss in delicious, agonizing anticipation.
THE NAPE OF THE NECK
“I like biting, compliments of how I'm such a good girl, having my hair pulled, being made to beg for it, and his hand wrapped around my neck. Yes. Take it." – Leslie
I remember being cuddled once by my long distance ex. We were in the spoon position and he suddenly started to kiss the nape of my neck. I was surprised at the way my thighs rubbed together and the sensation it sent down my spine that made me writhe against him even though he was barely touching me at all. I was a waterfall that night and it was because the nape of your neck is a center of nerve endings. Have your lover kiss, caress, nibble, and maybe even breathe languidly against that area and watch how positively your body responds to just that touch.
Men are also very sensitive in the neck area, sometimes even more than women might be. Kiss or lick his neck by gliding your tongue all over the side of his neck as a means to stimulate him. Drive him even wilder by sucking on his neck. Purse your lips against a spot there and go as crazy as you want with how deeply you suck, as long as you aren't concerned about leaving a mark. My personal favorite is a deep bite against a man's neck or shoulder blade.
THE INNER THIGH
“I like it when she's moving down my body to give me a blowjob and I get the sensation of her hair against my skin as she moves. I feel this intense anticipation because I know exactly where she's going and her hair acts as a tease." - Darryl
The inner thigh is an area of the body super packed with sensitive nerve endings as well. However, in order to really be affected, it's an erogenous zone that might require a little more pressure than others. Have your partner nibble, kiss, or lick the insides of your thighs. Alternate between hot and cool and add ice cubes to the mix. Have your partner trace a line along your skin with the ice and then blow behind it with their breath. The sensation plus the anticipation of your partner being so close to your center but not touching you there will drive you absolutely crazy.
THE PERINEUM
“I was on my knees the other day and he was in a chair. I was supposed to be paying attention to his balls, but I went a little lower this time, and watched him as he enjoyed the pleasure I gave him by licking that area. It really turned me on and I don't think he had any idea that that was there, wanting to be played with." - Amanda
The perineum is an area of the man's body that is highly sensitive to touch and can actually be another way to increase the intensity of his orgasm if done correctly. The perineum is the patch of skin between the balls and anus and can be most easily accessed while in the missionary position. When you see him about to orgasm, reach down between his legs and press your knuckle against that spot. It's also possible to stimulate that spot during other points of intercourse, like during foreplay while you're going down on him. Open up his senses by showing the extent of how sensitive that erogenous zone of his is.
THE EARS -- TALK DIRTY
“It's hard to find a woman who knows how to describe her sexuality in depth so I really love it when a woman can talk dirty to me. The nastier, the better." - Shawn
Ears are incredibly sensitive and are responsible for your auditory senses which in turn send signals of pleasure to your brain, heightening your experience. Trace the outside of his or her ear with your tongue or finger. Fuel desire and arousal even further by keeping your mouth close to their ear as you moan or breathe. Add dirty talk while you're there to intensify the moment even further. Watch and feel the way your body pulsates in response.
“I love it when he comes up behind me to nibble on my ear, especially when I least expect it. And then when he runs a hand up along my body to cup my breast? It is on!" - Dani
What are your favorite erogenous zones on your body? What are some of your favorite zones to explore on your partner's body? Share with us below.
- Erogenous Zones: Everything You Want to Know | Greatist ›
- The lesser known erogenous zones - and how to find them | The ... ›
- 9 Hottest Erogenous Zones for Women (Including Ones You're Not ... ›
- Women's Erogenous Zones, Ranked By Science | Time ›
- erogenous zones - Dictionary definition of erogenous zones ... ›
- Erogenous zone definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary ›
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
And even though I’m not personally a social media (account) user, I must say that two things that I find to be pretty sad about where TikTok is headed (should it truly and finally come to an end) are one, all of the money that it’s going to cost its creators (I actually read that it will be close to a whopping $1.3 billion in the first month of a ban) and two, the fact that when it comes to researching things to write about, TikTok is so much better and easier than Facebook or Instagram (Mark Zuckerberg is a real trip right now; keep checking up on him too…SMDH).
A great example of this: learning about the diaper rash face cream trend that everyone seems to be raving about these days; especially on TikTok. Yeah, it all might sound crazy on the surface, but I’ve actually got some intel, along with videos from Black women who don’t regret putting something that was made for a baby’s butt (relatively speaking) all over their face.
Are you ready to see if it’s something that just might work for you as well?
Video credit: @_nvrseeme via TikTok
Diaper Rash on Your Face Even Has a Name: Face Basting
GiphyYou learn something new every day, chile. Personally, I think a big reason is because something new is made up all of the time. LOL. Take skin or face basting, for example. Now, unless you are someone who already puts diaper rash cream on your face, I’d be close to shocked if you know what that term means. If you’re like me — someone who just found out while conducting research for this piece — and you’re curious, skin basting is what happens when you want to do an overnight treatment on your skin with the help of diaper rash cream (face basting is when you apply it to your face only).
And just why would you do something like this? Well, for one thing, diaper rash cream tends to have a good amount of an ingredient called zinc oxide in it. It’s beneficial for your skin in a myriad of ways including the fact that it 1) helps to create a protective barrier on it; 2) can shield your skin from damaging UV rays; 3) locks moisture into dry skin; 4) helps to heal damaged skin tissue; 5) can help to prevent bacterial infections from occurring (or spreading); 6) increases the production of collagen; 7) slows down the signs of skin aging, and 9) can even treat dandruff.
If you add to that the fact that the lanolin and dimethicone (which are also skin protectants) are also in many diaper rash creams — hell, why wouldn’t you consider putting at least a dab or two of the stuff onto your face to see if it helps at all? I mean, GOODNESS.
Video credit: @staria_brantley via TikTok
Why Face Basting Is Better than Face Slugging
GiphyAnd what if you’re reading all of this and you’re thinking that face basting sounds a lot like something else that you’ve casually come across: face slugging? If that is the case, you may be wondering if there is a difference between the two. There is.
Face basting is about letting diaper rash cream soak into your skin for a significant amount of time. Face slugging is when you substitute the cream for a thick ointment like Vaseline or Aquaphor.
The method behind the madness of “slugging” is it could possibly help to heal dry skin and keep it soft for a longer period of time — although, to me, it seems like a surefire way to clog up your pores (so please report back, if you’ve tried this before). Plus, I can only imagine what your pillowcases and sheets end up looking and feeling like the next morning. Yeah, on the slugging tip, I’ll pass.
Video credit: @that.calliegirl via TikTok
Who Shouldn’t Attempt to “Baste Their Face”
GiphyAs you can see from the TikTok videos that I’ve interwoven throughout this article, some women are real fans of face basting. Still, that doesn’t mean it should be the go-to remedy for everyone. For one thing, if diaper rash cream only had zinc oxide, lanolin, and dimethicone, you might be all good; however, that isn’t the case. Mineral oil, fragrance, and other ingredients that are oftentimes in diaper rash cream could potentially irritate your skin.
Another thing to keep in mind is because diaper rash cream is also thick (like Vaseline), there is a chance that your breakouts could get worse due to potential pore clogs. Same goes for if you have oily skin or super sensitive skin (because a baby’s bottom has “tougher” skin than the skin that is on your face).
In all of these instances, if you want to see if diaper rash cream could be the skin remedy that you’ve been looking for, avoid the full-on basting and just apply a bit on your face. Wait a few days to see if there are any unwanted side effects and go from there — although it’s also a good idea to keep in mind that you can always purchase some plain zinc oxide ointment or speak with a dermatologist about what would ultimately be best for you.
Other Practical Uses for Diaper Rash Cream
GiphyWhew, chile. Now that you know what diaper rash can do for your face, you’d be more than warranted to be curious about if it can benefit you in other ways. The answer is actually…yes. Hangnails. If you “baste your nail cuticles” with it a couple of nights a week, it will help to keep your cuticles well-moisturized (since hangnails pretty much come from dry cuticles).
Vulvovaginitis. Vulvovaginitis is a technical term for irritation of the vulva. So long as you apply the ointment to your vulva only, it can help to bring temporary relief to itchiness or irritation (it’s good for girls as well as women, by the way).
Thigh chafing. If thigh chafing is something that you deal with,the zinc oxide that’s in diaper rash cream can serve as a barrier for your skin, so that it’s not as much of an issue.
___
Personally, I’ve got a pretty good skin regimen going right now, so I’m not sure if I’ll be doing the face basting thing any time soon. Now nail basting? Diaper rash cream just might have me sold there. Because when you stop to think about the fact that you can get so much from a (roughly) $10 container or tube — why not?
Y’all, who knows if TikTok will be done this year. Just in case, let’s use this article as an opportunity to thank it for the hacks that sometimes do actually work.
Well done, TikTok. This time. LOL.
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