Quantcast
So Your Man’s Not Feeling Your Sex Toys, Here’s How To Change That
Sex

So Your Man’s Not Feeling Your Sex Toys, Here’s How To Change That


The other day, I was having a conversation with some of my girlfriends about the topic of sex toys, and somehow, we came across the fact that sometimes men aren't so into it. I was taken by surprise because every man I've been with has never objected to me whipping out my sex toy box and choosing what to play with for our evening of kinky fun. But, to hear that some guys have attested in the past for her piqued my interest quite a bit and I decided to take my curiosities to the street to speak to some random guys about their feelings on the subject at hand.

I got very mixed feedback.

The first guy blatantly and outright said, "Hell no." Another guy shared the same feeling and added the question of, “Why would she need me if she has that?"

One guy grew mildly interested when vibrators were introduced, and I noticed that pattern more and more as I talked to men closer to me in age. I came to a conclusion that, 1) yes, with age, some men are very set in their ways and sometimes irrevocably so, but that 2) it is not necessarily that guys aren't open to it, but instead that maybe they haven't been introduced to sex toys in the right way. So either way, it's worth exploring together to see which category your guy fits into.

Ease them into sex toy land the right way and ensure him that the toys are for mutual pleasure and you can have whatever you like. Always.

Feel the Vibe

“I feel everyone should be open-minded to incorporating sex toys in the bedroom. I know for men it can seem a bit taboo, as we often attach an ego to our sexual ability. But it does not take place of you, rather, it is a bonus or a helper. And I believe men should be open to some of the sex toys being used on them. My fiancé has a small vibrator and it can be used to stimulate both you and her. It all comes down to communication and willingness to try new things. When you're willing, it can benefit in not just the bedroom, but the relationship itself." – DaVion Lee, @daeizm

Sex toys are instruments meant to enhance and elevate, but unfortunately it often gets a bad rap because it suggests that they in some way you're currently not feeling the dick you're getting from your partner. This is not the case, but some men experience skepticism due to that feeling of inadequacy and redundancy. I suggest starting small with a vibrator that you use on just yourself and slowly but surely, allow your man to get his feet wet, so to speak.

“It's pleasing a woman, and you have to do whatever you have to do to please a woman. I like to use a Bullet on a girl. There are a lot of things you can do with it. It's small and to the point. (If you're man's not feeling it), you just gotta whip it out. Sometimes you just gotta let a dude know that it is what it is. We won't tell you no. Just whip it out and start playing with yourself with the vibrator like it's nothing, like how guys do with their dicks." – Xilla, @BlogXilla

Get 2 On

A c-ring is a great couple's version of the popular sex toy and can be used for mutual pleasure too. Shop together at an adult novelty store or online and pick out items that interests you both. He might be more interested in things to use on you like restraints or a whip, and that can be your “in" to introducing him to sex toy playland. Men are incredibly visual creatures, so watching you play with yourself is another way to get what you want. Entice him by giving him your own version of a Red Light Special featuring you and your sex toy.

He'll bite his lip and salivate at the way you're writhing against the sheets without him and immediately want to tap in to join in fulfilling your fantasy. Seductively say, “Come here," or express your lust for him in some other way: “I can't come without you daddy," in a breathy voice is a line that never fails, he'll come. Then you both will.

“Just like within any relationship, you have to condition your partner to certain things. If your man's not into it, try to find a compromise in the form of reciprocity. If you try this, I'll try that… If you try that, I'll try this. It might not even be a feeling of inadequacy on his part; he might not be something he's into. Warm him up to it. If you want to try a c-ring, condition him to it. I wasn't always into trying a c-ring; I had all of these thoughts about my dick exploding, but she coaxed me into it and I tried it." - Michael

Most men are down when you help them to see the light. Tell him, teach him, guide him to that waterfall girl. I'm certain he'll oblige.

Featured image by Getty Images

ALSO ON XONECOLE
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next

Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.

Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.

KEEP READINGShow less
Here's How To Host Your First Dinner Party, According To TikTok's Viral Dinner Host

If you haven’t scrolled upon Olivia McDowell's TikTok famous dinner parties, you may need to reconfigure your "For You Page."

What began as a passion for hosting aesthetically themed meals for her closest friends has quickly become a viral sensation. With an astonishing 12 million viewers, women describe Olivia’s picturesque dinner parties as the “dream girls' night,” complete with classy cocktails, beautiful table settings, elegant outfits, and, most importantly, food plated to perfection.

KEEP READINGShow less
LATEST POSTS