

'Tis the season of sensuality, pleasure, and self-indulgence with hella planets in Taurus right now, placing an emphasis on our physical, earthly experience. This energy encourages us to get embodied by enjoying the sensory experience of life like basking in mother nature, enjoying your favorite comfort foods and having a whole lot of sex (cues Megan Thee Stallion's Fever).
When most people think of sex, they likely imagine a passionate exchange between two people; however, we can't overlook the importance of practicing acts of self-pleasure, which can be equally beneficial as a shared experience with a partner.
As taboo as masturbation is, for whatever reason, there are many benefits to being more intentional about including this practice in your self-care routine. According to Planned Parenthood, "Masturbation can release sexual tension, reduce stress, help you sleep better, improve your self-esteem and body image, help treat sexual problems, relieve menstrual cramps, etc…" Not only is masturbation good for your physical health but it can also help you strengthen your relationship with self by giving you the chance to explore yourself, what you like, and don't like.
Developing greater body awareness can make it easier for you to communicate your needs with your sexual partner.
Now there are many ways to do the do—some like the old-fashioned finger or two, others are more into the bells and whistles that come with a five-speed vibrator, and then there's the exceptionally innovative cucumber crew. My personal preference is the traditional method but every now and then I may opt for my toy. After working with Yoni eggs for a couple of years and completing a coaching program last summer, I was gifted my first crystal wand—a girthy, 7-inch, spiraled Rose Quartz wand that I've infrequently referred to as "Mandingo".
Vanessa Cuccia, the mastermind behind the renowned Chakrubs, created her own line of crystal sex toys in hopes of dismantling the stigma around sexual expression. After spending time working in a Los Angeles sex toy shop, Cuccia knew that she had something else to offer the self-pleasure industry. In a 2018 interview with Refinery29, she said:
"I came up with the concept of Chakrubs in 2011 when I was working in an adult shop and living with a spiritual teacher who deepened my understanding of crystal healing. I wanted to create a mindful practice that sensitises you to subtle energetic vibrations, creating a more emotional connection. This is what I needed when I created the concept – a great orgasm, plus a way to connect to myself on a deeper level."
Read on to learn more about how to access the healing power of crystal dildos in your self-love, self-healing, and self-pleasure practices.
Types of Crystal Wands: Rose Quartz, Obsidian, and Amethyst—Oh My!
When it comes to investing in your first crystal, there are a few things to consider—the first being the energy you'd like to cultivate (or release).
Each crystal has its own special components that can offer a variety of experiences unique to the individual using it. As it pertains to crystal wands, the most popular go-to's include Rose Quartz, Black Obsidian, and Amethyst. If you're focused on amplifying self-love and soothing emotional distress, Rose Quartz is your best bet. Black Obsidian is more of a heavy hitter with its potential to unlock repressed sexual trauma and shame surrounding your sexuality. For those of you trying to get your third eye popping, Amethyst is your friend and this crystal is also good for alleviating anxiety.
There are a few other crystals to consider that may better suit your intentions so make sure to do your research prior to making your purchase. You may even wish to simply follow your intuition, as your spirit will be drawn to the energy that you can benefit from the most.
Crystal Wands: Length or Width?
Now it's time to get choosy. Crystal wands come in different sizes and shapes for those of you ladies that prefer the curve ;) A standard wand is about 7 inches long and 1 and a half inches wide. The slim wand is the same length but only a little over an inch wide. The curved wand featuring a bulbous end is perfect for stimulating your G-spot measuring about 6.75 inches long and 1.25 inches wide. Some wands feature enhancements such as the gentle ridges featured on the spiral wands.
It's also imperative that you purchase your crystal sex toy from an ethical source to keep your coochie safe and sound. A reputable provider will often have their crystals go through a gemstone report analysis by the GIA (Gemological Institute of America) and you're more than welcome to request this information prior to making your purchase. A very reputable brand to look into for crystal dildos and sex toys is called Chakrubs, a company founded by Vanessa Cuccia.
How to Clean Your Crystal Wand
So you finally made the leap and purchased your crystal wand. What next?
The first thing you want to do is energetically cleanse your wand just as you would for any any of your personal crystals. There are a few ways to go about this. My go-to method is burning a stick of Sage around my crystal wand while affirming that it be cleansed of any energies that came into contact with it prior to me receiving it. If you're not into Sage, you can burn your favorite incense or some Palo Santo.
Using the power of a Full Moon is also a great way to dispel unwanted energies from your crystal sex toy. On the night of the Full Moon, or during the waning phase, place your crystal wand in a glass container with fresh water and a little bit of salt. Avoid tap water unless you've boiled it and wait until the water cools down before you put your crystal in it. If you can, set your container out on the night of the Full Moon, as this energy is perfect for cleansing rituals. Keep in mind that your intention is powerful and even a simple prayer can do the job.
Now that you've energetically cleansed your crystal wand, it's time for a physical cleanse as well. I typically opt for a solution of warm water and Apple Cider Vinegar. You can also replace the ACV with Lemon instead. Mild soap or your favorite feminine wash can also be used. Check out the piece I wrote about Yoni eggs for a more detailed synopsis of the cleansing method.
Using Crystal Wands: The Initiation
After I energetically and physically cleanse my crystal wand, I like to partake in a self-care ritual to initiate it. I've been big on spiritual baths for the past few years as they're perfect for energetic clearing and enhancing sensuality. Have fun and use your intuition when it comes to what you include in your bath. Before preparing your bath, make sure you have an intention in mind. This will be different for each person and may include something along the lines of "getting over an ex", "enhancing self-esteem", "healing sexual shame/trauma", "attracting new love", etc.
After you've spent some time reflecting on this, it's time to brew your spiritual bath. Sea salt is an absolute must for me in every single bath that I take due to my work as a spiritual practitioner (but you don't have to be a Tarot reader to benefit from a salt bath). We come into contact with so many energies throughout our day making the aura muddled and discordant. Not only does the salt help remove toxins from your body but it also dispels foreign energies that may latch onto you throughout your day. Relax, sis. You're not hosting dark forces but you may be carrying around your bestie's break up blues or your boss's irritability.
Soaking in a salt bath can actually neutralize your aura back to its home state by clearing out the energy that is not yours.
As you prepare your bath, you may like to play some music that gets you in the mood or some self-love affirmations. The element of water has the ability to take on the energy of anything around it and the effects of sound can actually alter the frequency of the water you'll be bathing in. If you've got a Singing Bowl or Bells, you can use those as well. So we've got the water and earth elements taken care of for the spiritual bath and now all we're missing is air and fire. Burning pink, red, or white candles can add to the ambiance while also helping you focus on the intention you set for your spiritual bath.
Now that your bath is intricately and lovingly prepared, it's time to actually enjoy it. Give yourself a minimum of 30 minutes to one hour maximum to soak in the water. It's during this time that I initiate my crystal wand. During my first go-around with this, I was hella apprehensive given the size of my crystal wand. If you're a bit scary like myself, that's totally okay. There's no need to rush right into insertion (which I mistakenly assumed was the right way to go about it). Instead of going all the way, I found myself seductively gliding my crystal wand across my body as I soaked in my bath. Before I knew it, my wand had found a hot spot that it wanted to give extra attention to, which resulted in me gliding the crystal in a circular motion around my womb area for about 10-15 minutes.
The primary focus of both my Yoni egg and crystal wand practices has been about healing childhood sexual trauma, which is often stored in the womb so I was pleased to witness how my spirit was guiding this whole process, knowing exactly what I needed. As I continued with the foreplay process, I slowly began feeling ready to go all the way by starting off with just the tip for a few minutes. At this point, all inhibition went out the door, I drained my bath water, and went to my bedroom to finish the deed (you can definitely do this in the bathtub, if that's your preference).
Afterwards, I felt a rush of euphoria and an expansiveness in my heart that wasn't quite there before. Whenever I use Rose Quartz, I feel a sense of innocence restored, which is necessary for the inner child work that I've been doing the past few years. And to think, this was just my first time using my crystal wand and it was already proving to be another integral, cathartic tool for my healing journey.
10/10, would definitely recommend.
Featured image by Giphy
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Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Lizzo Talks Confidence: 'I Love The Person I've Become Through It All & I Think That's The Real Prize'
Lizzo is reflecting on her healing journey while giving the girls advice about confidence. The "Truth Hurts" singer has faced unfair criticism throughout her career for being a plus-size woman who embraces her curves. However, she recently went through a body transformation, which she calls a "weight release," and was criticized yet again.
But through it all, we've seen her hold her head high and continue to collect checks and awards. Lizzo stopped by The Breakfast Club recently and opened up about self-love, confidence, and healing.
When co-host Charlamagne Tha God asked Lizzo the difference between confidence and healing, The "Still Bad" artist replied, "I think people can fake confidence, but you can't fake healing. You can't be fake healed."
Lizzo explained how faking confidence can actually help you in the long run. "There's a lot of people who walk around and they can pretend to be confident and actually, I think that's what confidence's intention is, is to be used a little artificially. The fake it to you make," she said.
"Then, eventually you get there because my confidence, I had to force it. I had to fake it for a long time because I didn't grow up in a world where they were like, 'you're beautiful' and 'your body is beautiful' and 'we like you,' 'we like your personality.' 'Yeah, you watch anime and listen to rock music, we accept you.'
I was very like 'other' and I think I had to be like, 'no, you are good enough,' 'you are worthy of love,' 'your body is beautiful,' even when I didn't believe it. I think that eventually, if you say something enough, it can come true. You can manifest it, you can create your reality and I think I got there by faking it."
When it comes to dealing with negativity, Lizzo is learning to let the not so nice comments roll off her back and give grace. "People are as kind to others as they are to themselves and if somebody is throwing hatred or saying something mean-spirited about somebody, just for the sake of doing it, I can't imagine how you talk to yourself," she said. I can't imagine how you think about yourself and treat yourself when no one's watching and for that, Ive already won."
She added, "I love the person I've become through it all and I think that's the real prize. That's the real reward."
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