I miscarried last year and it was one of the most devastating life occurrences I ever experienced. It surprised me how much it affected my day to day, my self-esteem, and my feelings of being capable of doing what I am supposed to be capable of doing as a woman. I did not even know I wanted a child until I realized one had been lost. The timing was more than wrong, so I deemed fate as a factor. But still, logic didn't counter the emotions I harbored about miscarrying. I felt broken to the point of no repair and the way I spoke to myself, looked at myself, and how I felt about myself mirrored that rupture.
I had no self-love to give to my self because I no longer vibed with the woman I was due to the overwhelming sense of failure I felt.
Self love is one of those things that you must learn and relearn every day and having a bevy of self care practices to help reinforce those lessons is one of the best things you can do for yourself. I am constantly on the hunt to find practices that help me connect with myself as a woman, and in turn, love myself more. When the opportunity to work with The Organic Blood Yoni Eggs company came into the picture, I deemed it as another act of fate. I had heard about yoni eggs especially amongst women who were more spiritually connected with their inner feminine spaces. I felt it was what I needed in my time of feeling less than and not feeling at all like a being of love.
Tiffany Janay, owner and founder of The Organic Blood Yoni Eggs company, assured me that Yoni Eggs are a tool to be used as a beacon of self love during the journey to connecting with your innermost you. That appealed to me.
“The womb space as a woman is our most powerful space. We are the creators of the world. It is our power that has brought all of this into fruition. That's why it's called Mother Earth because it is the feminine energy that gives birth to things."
Yoni is a Sanskrit word for “vagina," and the eggs are semi-precious stones that come directly from the earth, which is where they pull their magical and powerful energies from. Similar to the way you use herbs for their properties, these semi-precious stones possess similar properties. They are polished up and shaped for internal use and each one has different properties intended to heal us from within.
Yoni eggs are excellent “teachers" and can help you with strengthening your vaginal muscles through Kegel exercises and will result in your vagina tightening. It also assists with the strengthening of the uterine wall and assists women with bladder control and can make your sex life more fire. I was also informed that due to its energy, if you were to have sex with your partner while the egg was still inside of you, it'd feel something like a threesome between you, your bae, and another person. It was the aspect of energy I was drawn to.
I was looking forward to having the egg help me on my journey to love me better and feel like a woman again, since I no longer felt that bond with my womb, as I felt betrayed. It was fitting that the egg I used was Rose Quartz. It's known for its healing properties of love, self love, compassion, forgiveness, romance, and intimacy. Things I needed to work on since experiencing my loss. I needed help, I needed some sort of guidance that would help me with looking within for the self-love I used to refer to as abundant.
It was a little intimidating at first – I'm not going to lie – especially when you think about putting the larger part in first. As a woman, there are certain things you grant access to entry in your body and a semi-precious stone isn't one of them so I took my time with that part. I carried it around with me in my bra everyday for about a week to get acquainted with it and its energy as Janay suggested.
After cleansing it and charging it with my intention (“to love myself more"), I massaged it and myself with some coconut oil, and promptly inserted it into my yoni. In all honesty, it's difficult to put into words how using this egg makes me feel. I don't know if it's a power of thought or how I feel about spirituality in general, but I do think having this tool to channel my energetic efforts towards positive thought has helped me feel more connected to myself and talk to myself in a more forgiving manner.
I use it once a day for about half an hour and use a warm bath to help with channeling it out of my body. Some women use it all day, some use it during sex – I am not quite there yet lol, but I enjoy my twice a week nightly routine with it. Being touched by that good energy is something that radiates. It's in the glow of my skin, the strut of my step, how I relate to other people, but more importantly how I relate to Sheriden (me). I punished myself for far too long for something that is a part of life.
Of our feminine power, Janay says, “Being confident in yourself and getting to know yourself. I think a lot of us are lacking confidence because we don't have a strong foundation, history, and connection to our feminine power. Being born in the feminine, you already come from something powerful."
Learn more about Yoni Eggs here.
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