

Being #teamsingle can be a very empowering time in a young woman's life, and most certainly absolutely necessary to really have space to discover who you are by yourself. But what happens when you feel like you have been long overdue for a relationship?
Take it from me, it can be extremely difficult to be single after a long period of flying solo and self-growth. I revealed in a piece about why my sex drive is so low and how it has resulted in me being celibate, but now I am ready to find someone who matches my vibration. It's even harder when many of your childhood friends are all married homeowners, working on baby number 3!
However, I for one still don't have it together, and after a recent brush with F-Boy buffoonery, and a recent rejection, I reached out to women in my boat who have some words of advice!
Some of them have never been in a real committed relationship, while others had only been in short-lived situationships. One woman even joked that she feels like she wastes her makeup sometimes when going out, and to be honest, I felt that! Another even said that she felt rage inside over her singleness, and I have been there! Read on to learn what long-term singleness looks like for these four incredible women and how they navigate in a world dominated by coupledom.
Ashley W. Gillett @ashleywgillett
I have been single for four years, real single no boo, no bae nothing.
I had so many toxic relationships in the past that I had to take a break to heal and work on me. When I decided to take a break, little did I know it would be for four years. During the break, I worked on my finances, my weight - just worked on me for peace of mind. During the initial break, I did not expect to be in a relationship and was not looking for one. I am now at the point where I do want a relationship, but for whatever reason, it is not happening for me. I actually started dating, but literally went on four dates this year, which have all been dead-end situations. They either turned out to be creeps or it just didn't work out.
Yes, I see all these amazing relationships on social media and also plan and design weddings where love is constantly in my face. I love seeing people in love, but I sometimes get to a point saying, "When will it be my turn?" When people hear my age, they automatically think I have a man or a kid, I have neither. I have yet to have a real relationship where a man was truly into me, and not what I could do for them financially.
I constantly hear you are not getting any younger, but I can't marry myself. I will not give up hope, but as of now, it has not happened for me.
[To counteract that] I honestly keep busy with things that matter and that make me happy. I have a full-time job, I am working on my second book (her first one is Red Flags Run), I sing, I take part in community activities with shelters, I host vision board parties, and so much more. Granted you can't occupy your entire time and life with doing things to avoid being single, but they absolutely help.
I take myself out to dinner, I go to the movies by myself, I travel a lot and meet people. Just about everyone in my circle both older and younger are either married or in long-term committed relationships. They often do relationship trips or dinners where I excuse myself because, who wants to be the odd ball when it's an intimate setting like that?!
Yes, I am single and living, not having a significant other doesn't mean life is over. It just gives you the opportunity to work on you and do the things you love.
Jasmine Hosni, @j_dot_rez
I am 35 years old and have been single since I was 29 (turning 36 in September.) Enjoy your friends, their kids, watch their love lives, learn from it, do all the things you want to do but think you don't have time for. If it intimidates you and you're attracted to it, it's likely something you will enjoy, it's just outside your comfort zone.
Become confident in yourself and take yourself out on dates and visit other countries. You get to realize your environment is just that: your present immediate environment! The world is so much bigger and filled with so many possibilities and beauty.
When you live a full life without someone, you learn that "Damn, whoever I end up with is going to have to be an amazing person" because life is pretty damn amazing, and I won't settle for anyone that will put a dent into my happiness because of societal timeline standards. No one will be allowed to interrupt your peace.
You learn to love yourself and everything that deserves love around you.
Boundaries become your friend. You learn to love your freedom and really understand what it means to have your own world and want your own space and life while possibly sharing some time with another person. You become alive. Enjoy it, because once you do settle down, you will want to have epic stories to share and laughs that will last a few lifetimes.
Sadé Solomon @SadeSolomon
I connected with this popular inspirational blogger on Instagram, and she had just written a blog post entitled, "Single: What's Wrong With Me," on her blog, Conversations Beyond.Here's a snapshot of what she wrote:
When loneliness creeps in, you may look at your watch, and say: " It's been 5 whole years I've been single, what's wrong with me?" I did! You too may get upset or frustrated with God, I am. I found myself on my knees begging God to answer these questions for me: "Why am I desiring a marriage this much?", "What's wrong with me?" and "Why are you taking so long to fix it and bring bae?"
After my relationship and dating event in D.C., I realized that I'd been idolizing marriage; something I knew nothing about.
I'd idolized the idea of being married; which SOCIAL MEDIA HELPS TO PERPETUATE. I'd looked at marriage as this fix-it-all situation, which it is not. I'm no expert in marriage (maybe singleness), but after years of studying it, I've learned that marriage doesn't fix your heart issues! Marriage doesn't fix those abandonment issues, your love issues, your depression issues, your financial issues, your loneliness issues, or your low self-worth issues; it exposes it.
We need to spend our singleness unpacking and uncovering those heart things before we carry that baggage into a marriage (if it's God's will).
Although I am frustrated waiting on God for a husband, I realize that I have a lot of Sade stuff to STILL work on. As much as I've prepared myself for marriage, I still have some heart things that need worked on. I mean, I just lost my dad; I have to heal from this.
Another person could never fix or heal you from the mess that you've repressed, only you and God can. So my message to US today is this: Yes, embrace where you are, but don't get comfortable and stop working on you. Do the self-work first! Don't get stuck waiting on a husband that you neglect to do purpose-driven things.
Shima #IAmOyaCush @Shima.me.timbers
Shima has never been in a long-term committed relationship, and she shares why and how she has navigated this space.
An unfortunate stigma about being single is that people automatically slap the "She must be crazy" label on you.
No. I'm just very particular about who I want with me for the long haul.
There are many factors as to why I've never been in a committed relationship such as: immaturity, poor timing turning into a dodged bullet, ignorance, lack of self-love, spiritual growth, career/aligning with my path and purpose, anxiety and depression, healing from childhood trauma, red flags, getting caught up in the physical, not knowing what I wanted, fear of intimacy, liking people who don't like me back, or just outright being a bitch and f****** up potential. I'm a Caribbean woman on the other side of 30, so people look at me like something's wrong with me. I, supposedly, have to bring home some guy who will "give me a good future" and help me give my mom some grandbabies.
I've grown through the ups and down with the help of family and friends. I'm blessed to have a strong circle who always keep it 100 with me, and will support me whether I listen to them or not. I've allowed myself to cry and embrace the heartbreak. I got lost in physical connections, but inevitably cut that way of being off until I could truly appreciate the responsibility of using my creative (sexual) power. If the energy is off, I don't even bother going on the date.
Things got a lot easier once I tuned in to my power and began to embrace the divine within.
My connection with spirit and my ancestors pulls me back from sadness every time. Giving unconditional love to others and finding a place in a community that is here to heal the world gives me purpose and comfort. I know that when my romantic love comes, it'll be well worth the wait. I'll be attracting it from the way I love myself. Of course, I get pangs of loneliness, but I do my best not to dwell in those feelings because they only cause stress and prolong the love that I'm looking for.
Meditation and affirmations have definitely helped the wait for my person go by. I've also taken a lot of pressure off of myself by actively taking responsibility for where I am mentally and spiritually. I love to have Goddess spa days at home. I make spiritual baths and get all luxe (shoutout to Filthy Cosmetics) with my own homemade goodies. I write, mostly provocative poetry. I sing when no one is listening (except my friends), and I help people refocus on the things that make them better through my spiritual work.
The one thing I've learned is to not base your happiness on someone else's experience.
Whether it's fear of having abusive relationships like your friends, or wanting a parent to find love so they won't have time to worry about you, it's not fair to deliberately isolate, prolong, and avoid living your life your way.
Featured image courtesy of Sadé Solomon
- 5 Reasons You're Still Single - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Couples On Being Committed Relationship But Not Married - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, & Wellness ›
- Single, Blissful, Happy, Tips To Embrace Being Single | Cultivate ... ›
- The Art of Being Happily Single ›
- How to Be Single and Happy: 12 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow ›
- 15 Ways to Enjoy Being Single ›
- 8 Tips to Feeling Happily Single While You're Single ›
- Rock On, Girl! 10 Ways To LOVE The Heck Out Of Being Single ... ›
- If You Don't Like Being Single, You Need To Read This | HuffPost ›
- Dating Advice For Women, How To Enjoy Being Single Tips ›
- The DOs and DON'Ts of Being Single | Glamour ›
- Advice on Being Single | Dating Tips | eHarmony Advice ›
Fontaine Felisha Foxworth is a writer and creative entrepreneur from Brooklyn New York. She is currently on the West Coast working on creating a TV Pilot called "Finding Fontaine", that details the nomadic journey of her life so far. Keep up with her shenanigans @famoustaine on IG.
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Lizzo Talks Confidence: 'I Love The Person I've Become Through It All & I Think That's The Real Prize'
Lizzo is reflecting on her healing journey while giving the girls advice about confidence. The "Truth Hurts" singer has faced unfair criticism throughout her career for being a plus-size woman who embraces her curves. However, she recently went through a body transformation, which she calls a "weight release," and was criticized yet again.
But through it all, we've seen her hold her head high and continue to collect checks and awards. Lizzo stopped by The Breakfast Club recently and opened up about self-love, confidence, and healing.
When co-host Charlamagne Tha God asked Lizzo the difference between confidence and healing, The "Still Bad" artist replied, "I think people can fake confidence, but you can't fake healing. You can't be fake healed."
Lizzo explained how faking confidence can actually help you in the long run. "There's a lot of people who walk around and they can pretend to be confident and actually, I think that's what confidence's intention is, is to be used a little artificially. The fake it to you make," she said.
"Then, eventually you get there because my confidence, I had to force it. I had to fake it for a long time because I didn't grow up in a world where they were like, 'you're beautiful' and 'your body is beautiful' and 'we like you,' 'we like your personality.' 'Yeah, you watch anime and listen to rock music, we accept you.'
I was very like 'other' and I think I had to be like, 'no, you are good enough,' 'you are worthy of love,' 'your body is beautiful,' even when I didn't believe it. I think that eventually, if you say something enough, it can come true. You can manifest it, you can create your reality and I think I got there by faking it."
When it comes to dealing with negativity, Lizzo is learning to let the not so nice comments roll off her back and give grace. "People are as kind to others as they are to themselves and if somebody is throwing hatred or saying something mean-spirited about somebody, just for the sake of doing it, I can't imagine how you talk to yourself," she said. I can't imagine how you think about yourself and treat yourself when no one's watching and for that, Ive already won."
She added, "I love the person I've become through it all and I think that's the real prize. That's the real reward."
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