The first time I say "no" it's like I never said "yes" - Beyoncé
When it comes to being in a relationship today, there's an insane amount of pressure on women to do everything perfectly while looking perfect. Ideally, a woman is expected to have a slim waist with a big behind that she takes to the kitchen to slave away preparing home-cooked meals for her man better than his mama. She's also expected to take care of the kids, keep the house tidy, run his bathwater, be a boss and sexually please him every which way.
Exhausting, right?
So when it's time for some loving and a woman is too tired to perform in the bedroom, does that mean her boo is well within his rights to go get it elsewhere? Sevyn Streeter may think so.
The 28-year-old singer really believes in not killing the fun, as we learned from her Breakfast Club interview recently. Sharing her logic with the trio, Sevyn said a woman should never tell her man "no" when he's ready for some fun because she took him off the market, thereby cutting him off from other women willing to give up the goodies.
She explained:
I think when you're with somebody you love or trust or whatever, I think that it's important you don't kill the fun.Me and my friends have this conversation all the time. I think that when you commit to somebody and take them off the market, I think that it is your job, as a woman or a man, to--I don't think you should ever say, 'no.' Anal sex I'm not into, but I mean if you're tired--'Oh I'm tired, I don't feel like it.' No, because at the end of the day, you took that person off the market. They can't go and be with somebody else because they're with you. So, don't you ever say no.
We know for sure she's keeping her man and his eggplant happy.
Sevyn, who's currently dating B.o.B, also talked about her relationship with the rapper while throwing shade at her insecure ex-boyfriend who wanted her to "dim her light."
On B.o.BI take my life a day at a time. I think that's all that you can do. With me and B.o.B, we started out as friends. We were friends for a very long time. And I say this all the time and I mean it from the bottom of my heart -- if it ended tomorrow, he's still my friend. I never had anything start out that way before. In the past, I've had relationships with BANs [B*tch A** N*ggas]. My ex-boyfriend in my last situation, I feel like I had to dim my light. I feel like he didn't want me to shine. So it feels really good to be dating somebody who has his own light. He is comfortable in his own skin and supports me like, 'Alright, boo. Go shine.' And I think that's dope and important to me.
Catch the interview below!
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To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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