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3 Modern-Day Spiritual Healers Who Embrace Sexuality

Sex

As spiritual woman and lightworker who was raised in a very strict Jehovah's Witness upbringing, it took a lot for me to undo the conditioning that repressed my sexuality outside of spirituality or religion as a whole. Things of a sexual nature were always considered a taboo topic in my household.


Now as a fully grown, and deeply spiritual woman, I have learned that embracing my femininity and my sexuality has no bearing on my ability to heal others, or channel divine information from truth and source. Being spiritual does not have to overshadow being sexy and glowing with the divine feminine energy.

I sat down with three different ethereally divine divas: the Hood Healer, the Trap Witch, and sexual liberation healer Ev'Yan Whitney to break down the spirituality of sexual ownership and healing, the skewed idea of modesty as a virtue, spiritual and religious biases in sexuality, and their own sexual affirmations.

The Trap Witch, @thetrapwitch

The Trap Witch, whose first name is Tatiana, has a very intriguing journey into spirituality, healing, and motivational speaking. Nicknamed the "Card B of consciousness" by her friends, Tatiana is someone who is relatable in an arena where mysticism is overplayed.

"I didn't know that I wanted to be a healer or a motivational speaker until everything I did the 'right way' in my life fell apart. My Master's program fell through, freelance photography and design wasn't going as I had planned, so I jumped into sex work (adult sensual massage) and made that my hustle until I could figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I did that for five years and in the midst of it, my spiritual awakening happened during that time. I found that I liked the healing aspect of massage, but I made the best of the work by actually talking to people. Sex work gets a bad reputation, but that's where I found my confidence to start speaking to people more and understanding more about psychology."

She continued, "After quitting the business with $1000 left to my name, I sat on the porch with my cellphone and some tarot cards and just started to channel my messages into motivational words."

How Sexuality and Spirituality is Linked

"Sexuality is linked to spirituality because we each have masculine and feminine energies within us. We have feminine energy, which is our creative side and how we love, and masculine energy, in how we do things and what we will for our lives. If your dual energies are in balance and you know yourself, then what you are capable of is limitless.

"In our lives, we have to break our own stigmas, that are imposed on us in order to come into our purpose in the world. Being born to a West Indian Christian mother, and then to go on to become a sex worker and then a proclaimed witch, was every stigma my mother was afraid of. My life didn't become fulfilled until I didn't care anymore what anyone thought and because I knew that although sex is often 'taboo,' it's what creates life. Nothing I did in my life worked out for me until I got into the sex industry and understood my raw power to manifest what I needed from nothing but the essence of myself."

What Sexual Healing Means To Her

"Sexuality can be used for healing in many ways. Libido is your sexual desire and is your energy, appetite, and a component of the life instinct. If you look at someone who has a high sex drive, they have a desire to have sex, which is technically used for reproduction and pleasure. Someone with a low libido will be very understimulated and has a lack of excitement. In life, there are some people who have a high drive to be able to reproduce fruits from their labor and creation and to receive pleasure from that, and some people who are the exact opposite. I think we need to look at sexuality as more as a desire to heal our life through creation and how we 'do it' and keeping up the drive to keep doing it over and over again."

Re-evaluating Modesty As Virtue

"Seldom do well-behaved women make history. Women like Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Cardi B are all very sexually expressive women and it doesn't take away from the things they do for people to either empower, or give back. I don't really condone anyone shrinking themselves in order to be accepted. To me, virtue is in the heart. I have big boobs, but also a big heart and if someone wants to judge me based on the fact I'm not modest enough for them, and they can't see my heart and actions, then they can kick rocks.

"I don't really condone anyone shrinking themselves in order to be accepted."

"I don't feel like you should have to be 'holier than thou' to do God's work. Your work from God is to fulfill your mission to serve yourself and people and maintaining good character while doing it. Sexuality is also not just revealing skin, it's a whole attitude. You can seduce someone with simply words or your mind. Either way, you don't need to be modest about something that is a power, even if others want to hold prejudice."

Bias Against Sexuality in Spiritual Communities

"There is definitely many biases in the spiritual community. I recently have found that with the goddess and divine feminine being trendy, women are embodying that energy, but women who have actually walked the path of sex work often don't get treated with the same respect. I've experienced a lot of hatred too for being an open sexual being from even people with the same spiritual practices as me, especially since I'm supposed to be a 'leader.' I've also found that sometimes, women hide their pain still in expressing sexuality. I used to be a woman who held a lot of pain from my sexuality and what I used it for. Sometimes we have to ask if it's solely attention seeking and that is directly rooted to self-love. I feel like where you channel it and what the intention behind it is, is very important."

Her Affirmation for Sexuality and Embodying The Divine Feminine

"A woman who knows the wealth of her love and power, along with the prosperity of her soul, not allowing anyone to take it for granted, is priceless. Overcome your stigmas and master your self-love, and you will unlock your biggest secret weapon ever."

*Featured Image: @evyan.whitney by @extracelestial

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When I was ten, my Sunday school teacher put on a brief performance in class that included some of the boys standing in front of the classroom while she stood in front of them holding a heart shaped box of chocolate. One by one, she tells each boy to come and bite a piece of candy and then place the remainder back into the box. After the last boy, she gave the box of now mangled chocolate over to the other Sunday school teacher — who happened to be her real husband — who made a comically puzzled face. She told us that the lesson to be gleaned from this was that if you give your heart away to too many people, once you find “the one,” that your heart would be too damaged. The lesson wasn’t explicitly about sex but the implication was clearly present.

That memory came back to me after a flier went viral last week, advertising an abstinence event titled The Close Your Legs Tour with the specific target demo of teen girls came across my Twitter timeline. The event was met with derision online. Writer, artist, and professor Ashon Crawley said: “We have to refuse shame. it is not yours to hold. legs open or not.” Writer and theologian Candice Marie Benbow said on her Twitter: “Any event where 12-17-year-old girls are being told to ‘keep their legs closed’ is a space where purity culture is being reinforced.”

“Purity culture,” as Benbow referenced, is a culture that teaches primarily girls and women that their value is to be found in their ability to stay chaste and “pure”–as in, non-sexual–for both God and their future husbands.

I grew up in an explicitly evangelical house and church, where I was taught virginity was the best gift a girl can hold on to until she got married. I fortunately never wore a purity ring or had a ceremony where I promised my father I wouldn’t have pre-marital sex. I certainly never even thought of having my hymen examined and the certificate handed over to my father on my wedding day as “proof” that I kept my promise. But the culture was always present. A few years after that chocolate-flavored indoctrination, I was introduced to the fabled car anecdote. “Boys don’t like girls who have been test-driven,” as it goes.

And I believed it for a long time. That to be loved and to be desired by men, it was only right for me to deny myself my own basic human desires, in the hopes of one day meeting a man that would fill all of my fantasies — romantically and sexually. Even if it meant denying my queerness, or even if it meant ignoring how being the only Black and fat girl in a predominantly white Christian space often had me watch all the white girls have their first boyfriends while I didn’t. Something they don’t tell you about purity culture – and that it took me years to learn and unlearn myself – is that there are bodies that are deemed inherently sinful and vulgar. That purity is about the desire to see girls and women shrink themselves, make themselves meek for men.

Purity culture isn’t unlike rape culture which tells young girls in so many ways that their worth can only be found through their bodies. Whether it be through promiscuity or chastity, young girls are instructed on what to do with their bodies before they’ve had time to figure themselves out, separate from a patriarchal lens. That their needs are secondary to that of the men and boys in their lives.

It took me a while —after leaving the church and unlearning the toxic ideals around purity culture rooted in anti-Blackness, fatphobia, heteropatriarchy, and queerphobia — to embrace my body, my sexuality, and my queerness as something that was not only not sinful or dirty, but actually in line with the vision God has over my life. Our bodies don't stop being our temples depending on who we do or who we don’t let in, and our worth isn’t dependent on the width of our legs at any given point.

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