
‘Sistas’ Star Novi Brown On The Power Of Emotional Release & Spiritual Baths

In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
I hate to break it to you, sis, but you've been living a lie.
All these years, you've been taught that big girls don't cry so you've done it in private. You learned that the key to success is to act out of logic, not emotion so you've suppressed them. But Novi Brown of Tyler Perry's Sistaswants you to know that pretending to be unbothered is not only sabotaging your mental health, but it's blocking your bag.
Tyler Perry Studios/BET
Until my impassioned conversation with the 33-year-old actress, I believed that I was the weak one in my family. As an empath with some serious boundary issues, I can admit that I have let my feelings control my life in the past; but according to Novi, that's not always such a bad thing. She shared, "Ignoring things is what we were taught to do as human beings. And it's the most toxic trait we have. We've learned hide, to not express, to not emote, when honestly, emotions are just giving you information on how to move next."
"Ignoring things is what we were taught to do as human beings. And it's the most toxic trait we have. We've learned hide, to not express, to not emote, when honestly, emotions are just giving you information on how to move next."
Novi, who interprets her emotions as messages from God, explained that this pattern of internalized self-sabotage is more than a fleeting feeling, issa generational curse that needs to be broken expeditiously. She continued, "It's such a complex conversation because we've been taught by the white oppressor, honey. We've been taught how to deal with our emotions by people who don't fuck with us. But us breaking these generational curses means we're moving on from surviving and now we're moving into thriving. So what does thriving really look like [for you]?"
When asked how she stays positive in moments of frustration, Novi simply explained that she doesn't. The actress expressed that as a creative professional who literally thrives on emotion, she holds nothing back when it comes to feeling her feelings. "Baby girl, if I wasn't upset, if I wasn't enraged, if I wasn't sad, then I wouldn't do what I'm doing. If I was not able to cry this morning, I wouldn't be able to go on Sistas and cry. I wouldn't be able to do that shit if I don't do it in my own life." She then asked, "Do you have everything you want? What's the return on investment for not expressing how you actually truly feel? Who are you helping by not being honest today?"
In our conversation, Novi and I talked more about emotional release, spiritual baths, and other self-care practices that keep her all the way in alignment and it wasn't long before our interview turned into a certified soul searching session.
Keep reading for more:
xoNecole: With the pandemic and global protests underway, how are you handling everything?
Novi Brown: I know a lot of people are feeling sad or whatever, but the black community should really feel fucking liberated. We don't have to hide anymore now. It's not cool to be racist. Now, you will not be rewarded for that. Don't you think God stopped everything just so we can get our shit together? Like, don't you? This is probably bigger than we could even imagine. And look at the conversations, Taylor, at 27, that you're having––that parents' parents' parents' parents died never having. I feel fucking free.
"I feel fucking free."
What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
I love waking up early and then walking my dog, Castor Troy, who is my everything. The reason why I got a dog was obviously a spiritual reason but now that I've grown up and I've seen that what I need is to be outside every day. I need to touch the ground. I need the sun to touch my skin. Being outside and connecting with nature is really, really helpful for me, And then I spend a lot of my time researching and studying astrology. For me, astrology is God's first official language. It's the language of symbols and energy and it's super powerful.
And then for most of the day, I'm studying astrology, I am doing interviews, I am doing auditions. I'm also developing TV shows and then I'm going on with my life, just trying to teach people about self-confidence––specifically black women––encouraging and pouring back into the black female community. So that's how my day looks.
What is your nighttime routine?
I'm a cannabis lover, so that's part of my nighttime routine, as well as having conversations, and doing research. I'm a student of life, so I'm always reading some kind of book. Now that you got me thinking about it, I don't have a nighttime routine. I might need to get one, shit. I'm working myself.
"I need to touch the ground. I need the sun to touch my skin. Being outside and connecting with nature is really, really helpful for me, And then I spend a lot of my time researching and studying astrology. For me, astrology is God's first official language. It's the language of symbols and energy and it's super powerful."
When you have a busy week, what’s the most hectic part of it?
Organizing is really difficult. Like, I'm not writing down my schedule. A lot of people use their planner and all that other shit––I'm really bad at that. I just go day-to-day because I'm a Cancer rising. Some days are more hectic than others, some days aren't. This is essentially my first year in the business like hardcore and I'm trying to forgive myself and just allow myself to be who I am, which is just a person who just moves with vibes and things. I'm not a schedule-oriented person. And I feel like that's OK.
Do you practice any type of self-care? What does that look like for you?
I think the biggest part of my self-care routine is my spiritual work. For me, that is a foundation and a pinnacle, it's something that I can literally build something on top of. However, I love me a massage, now. I love getting my nails done. And I love getting my hair braided. I love sitting in the chair and having my hair braider do my hair. Or even if I want to do my own hairstyles, I love standing in the mirror for seven hours watching documentaries and braiding my hair. I find something really soothing about it and I can turn the whole world off and just really focus on watching what I want to watch and, and doing my hair and beautifying myself.
"So self-care is really me taking care of my body more and making sure that my body feels as good as my mind because of those things don't feel good––both of them––I can't be at full capacity."
I also do spiritual baths. February 2019, I did a spiritual bath for ultimate love and money. I met my man in April and I got a job in July. OK, look, ancestors don't play. They want us to win. We're just not doing what we need to do. We're doing it the human way. We're not doing it the spirit way. And that's why we feel like it takes so long. But if we're spirited, I'm telling you, your life will change very fast.
How do you find balance with:
Love/Relationships?
I'm very lucky right now because my partner does the same thing that I do. We're in the same business and really understand each other. So I'll be gone for a few months, he'll be gone for a few months and that's our relationship and we respect each other. I really feel like the number one thing is respect in a relationship and understanding that person you're with has their own purpose that is contracted between them and God. It has nothing to do with you. So sometimes we have to get out of our own way when it comes to relationships. I'm just very, very, very, very, very blessed in my partnership to have somebody who's in my field who sees me as an individual who sees me as a person here to fulfill a purpose and he gets to enjoy my company. That's how he sees it.
"I really feel like the number one thing is respect in a relationship and understanding that person you're with has their own purpose that is contracted between them and God. It has nothing to do with you. So sometimes we have to get out of our own way when it comes to relationships. I'm just very, very, very, very, very blessed in my partnership to have somebody who's in my field who sees me as an individual who sees me as a person here to fulfill a purpose and he gets to enjoy my company. That's how he sees it."
Friends?
I'm very blessed in my friendships. I've come to realize now, after my full first year [in the industry], my friends haven't changed at all. It's really just about getting a tribe who understands you and who understands your purpose will understand how you move in life and your methods. They mean everything to me. I want to see them succeed, but they are also very well aware that, OK, she's in this position now she has to make moves so that she can succeed. And then by default, they will succeed.
Exercise?
Honestly, I'm just glad I'm vegan. That helps me a lot by default. I makes sure I eat salad every day. But exercise, I mean, you just gotta be in the mood, shit. You just gotta be in the mood to want to work on your body. And lately, I have not been in the mood. For the last two years, I have not been in the mood to consistently work out. However, because I have a dog, I'm out every single day for hours. And sometimes in my life, I'm a little thicker and I got a FUPA and it's all good. And sometimes in life, I'm a little slimmer. So it's all good, man. It's all good. I'm not trying to stress myself. But I do say you have to move your body every day.
Do you find yourself cooking or eating out more?
When I first became vegan, I was cooking all the time, but I worked in restaurants for so long. I'm a bougie restaurant chick. Like I love being in a good, cute spot with food being delivered. I feel like people should just get paychecks to eat. I love to cook as well, but it is a lot of work. And it's not a passion of mine. It's just something I'm good at. I guess maybe I feel like I'm giving out so much all the time that the restaurant experience, I just feel like I'm receiving. So that's why I really enjoy going out.
When do you feel the most beautiful?
I feel the most beautiful in the morning, right when I wake up because I'm new and fresh and I'm not painted. I'm not dated. And I feel like I'm mad cute in the morning. I feel like our skin looks really good. Like the skin is nice and the lips might be a little more juicy and puffed up. Your stomach is flatter cause you done digested stuff. So yeah, I love the mornings. All that other stuff is great, but that takes a lot of energy. I like who I am when I wake up.
"I feel the most beautiful in the morning, right when I wake up because I'm new and fresh and I'm not painted. I'm not dated... All that other stuff is great, but that takes a lot of energy. I like who I am when I wake up."
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
I have to talk to my friends. I have to talk to somebody outside of my own mind so I could see things more clearly. I go through my emotions. I contact my friends. It's really important for me to get feedback from somebody else, to get another mind, because remember, again, that's God's child. And they might have a message for you that God is trying to tell you, but you're so busy trying not to tell anybody that you miss the message. I have people that I trust enough where I can tell them almost everything. And if I can't get anybody, because sometimes people are not available, I will go ahead and seek out a podcast. I will go ahead and seek out a YouTube video. I will seek out a story of an underdog just to remind you that people will sleep on you––that's just part of the game, but you have to be strong enough to talk yourself out of it like, 'OK girl, you ain't the only one.' This is part of the journey.
For more of Novi, follow her on Instagram @NoviBrown!
Featured image via Tyler Perry Studios/BET
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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