Just days away from the new year, I sat and fought back tears after being dumped by a man that I had been seeing for a couple of months. Although the split was amicable, I was still very angry over the idea that once again, I was ending the old year and beginning the New Year single.
With hot tears beginning to stream down my face, I angrily asked God why he kept sending me men that were not worthy of my heart or time. Luckily within that same thought I quickly apologized and realized that He makes no mistakes. Still pint up with frustration and sorrow I decided that the most therapeutic thing for me to do was to write an open letter to any woman who was feeling distraught over why Mr. Right hadn't come into her life yet.
Dear Queen,
I am penning this open letter to you and any individual who is sad, upset, or angry over the idea of being single.
Two words: DON'T BE.
Always remember that what is for you, will ALWAYS be for you my Queen.
When the timing is right and the chemistry is real, there will never be a single doubt that this is the right man for you.
Period.
Now remember, a love so great will take time, Queen, but just know that YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH.
The man that God has prepared for you will never judge you from your past or previous mistakes. He will not "nit-pick" or break down your character in an attempt to change you into something that you are not. Lastly, He will not manipulate you into thinking that your love will never be good enough. Instead, He will be your light in a world full of darkness. He will be your shield during the moments when you cannot even shield yourself. He will be the warmth you have always needed when your heart had felt so cold and empty after so many let downs and disappointments.
You see, my Queen, this type of man will not devalue you as a woman when you express your feelings by labeling you a "drama queen" "argumentative" "crazy" or "emotional.” In contrast, he will value your feelings and will also appreciate your expression for you both share the common end goal of having a beautiful, peaceful, long lasting relationship.
So as you prepare to achieve your goals and elevate your standards in the New Year continue to radiate your beauty, intelligence, cunningness and kindness for your King will naturally gravitate towards you with an open heart, mind and spirit.
Dear Queen is a weekly series dedicated to letters from women written for themselves and other women. Have a "Dear Queen" letter? We want to read it! E-mail your letters to editor@xonecole.com. Subject: 'Dear Queen'
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
Courtesy
When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
Courtesy
Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
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The Beauty Practices Tia Mowry Swears By For Managing Eczema In Her 40s
Whether it's about the growing pains of major life transitions or her health and wellness journey, Tia Mowry isn't one to shy away from keeping it real. In a recent interview with The Zoe Report, the actor opened up about living with eczema—a condition that has challenged her since childhood.
Partnering with AbbVie for the Eczema Experience, Tia shed light on her experience with the chronic skin condition affecting over 31 million people in the U.S. alone. She revealed that her symptoms were often dismissed and minimized, referred to as mere "sunspots" until she was formally diagnosed with eczema, also known as atopic dermatitis, in her late 20s. "I wasn't diagnosed until I was like 26 or 27 years old, so I suffered in silence," Tia told the publication.
Reflecting on the "embarrassing flare-ups" she endured well into her 30s, Tia, now 46, emphasized that her approach to managing eczema is rooted in a harmonious blend of wellness, self-care, and mindful beauty practices. Keep reading to learn her holistic approach to beauty that keeps her eczema flare-ups at bay.
Healthy Lifestyle = Healthy Skin
Tia admitted to TZR that she used to feel like the answer to healthier skin was all about her product line-up. Over the years, she's changed her tune and realized the importance of great skin being an inside job with a side of mindfulness practices.
"Stress and certain foods are triggers for me, so I’m doing things like meditating, journaling, and being mindful of what I eat — I think sometimes these things get overlooked," she shared. Another way she manages her stress levels is by "constantly listening to positive affirmations."
Drinking Her Water, Minding Her Biz
Water is the elixir of life and Tia swears by it to keep her skin on 10. "Drinking water to help flush out toxins has also been extremely beneficial for my skin," the reality star revealed.
Breaking Up With Harmful Personal Care Products
Tia has walked us through her 10-step everyday skincare routine in a 2023 Reel she shared on her Instagram. In her interview with The Zoe Report, the beauty founder touched on the importance of gravitating towards "less toxic" ingredient lists for the products that make it into her beauty routine when managing her eczema.
"Leaning more towards products, whether for my hair, body, or face, that are less toxic has been helpful for me."
Treating Her Skin to the Red Light Special
When it comes to at-home beauty treatments, red light therapy has become that girl. Celebs like Kelly Rowland and Halle Berry have sung its praises, and with good reason. In addition to benefits like boosting collagen and reducing inflammation, The Game alum is a fan of red light therapy because "it helps soothe my skin, leaving my complexion looking more even and radiant."
Lift, Sculpt, and Repeat
Flawless skin aside, the actor has let it be known that she likes to embrace aging. In her 40s, she is all about keeping things as natural as possible but did share a couple of her skin tightening and sculpting techniques. Tia told the publication that she loves to ice her face with DIY green tea ice cubes and that she does gua sha too.
Read more of her interview with TZR here.
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Featured image by Chris Haston/WBTV via Getty Images