Dear Queen:
Congratulations! You've survived another year. You've had a handful of uncertainty in one hand and hope in the other. Last year, you stepped out on faith and decided to break generational curses to attend therapy. To finally get a taste of what healthy relationships mean, to set strong and firm boundaries that can be felt on the other side of the world, and to use your tests as your testimony. Before jumping into February with both feet, I would advise you to stop, sit down and take three long breaths. This is a memorable moment.
You can look back and be proud of the woman you are becoming. You will never feel this sense of relief ever again. You have now graduated to take life by the horns and control your destiny.
These next ten years will be the most fruitful. It's time to really start to think about our thoughts and the words that exit our lips. Affirmations of positivity and love will be spread this year and the next. How do I know this? I've been there. Approximately four years ago, I lived life with a broken spirit and a weak mind. I allowed others to dictate how I felt about myself and what dreams I wanted to follow. I let others' insecurities create doubt and negativity about how I felt about myself. My fear of speaking up for myself created such angst and resentment amongst family and friends that I became miserable.
I found myself repeating the same things others would say about themselves. I became addicted to feeling sorry for myself. It wasn't until a little prayer and encouragement from loved ones suggesting that therapy would become beneficial to me. Five months earlier, I read a quote that will forever change my outlook on life and about myself, "Old ways won't open new doors." This means changes are needed to get the results you want. What do you have to lose? So, thank your therapist for the glow-up.
If You Can't See It…Speak It
We've all become a victim of our eyes playing tricks on us. If we can't see it, then it can't be real. Wrong. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it isn't practical or obtainable. It just simply means you weren't ready or were never presented with the tools to accomplish this gift. You are bombarded with apps, books, journals, and websites like xoNecole that give you a jump start on affirmations and how they can come to fruition. When I was introduced to the word "affirmation", I was confused.
I was instructed to write thoughts or phrases that I can speak daily that would somehow lift my spirits. While stating these affirmations out loud, I didn't feel a burst of energy to tackle the world. I felt awkward and still confused, so I stopped. After about a week of self-sabotage, I had to remind myself that being uncomfortable is the first sign of change. I had nothing to lose. All I had to do is reach out to a different doorknob and turn it. I tried a variety of things.
My first attempt was the Being Mary Jane style of writing affirmations. I purchased extensive sticky notes and wrote what I thought I would want to hear repetitively and stuck them all over my room. Everywhere I turned, I had something to read. A week later, I found myself glancing at the bright yellow sticky notes and not reading them. The second method was to Google affirmations. I came across a sixty deck of affirmation cards through Amazon. I make it a point to read at least one card a day before I start my day. It sets the tone.
Use Your Imagination
You are never too old to daydream. If you aren't dreaming, then you aren't living. If affirmations aren't your forte, you can always dive deep into your thoughts. Your thoughts can be as powerful as your words. To obtain this 20/20 vision, you need to have clear and prestigious insight into your accomplishments. Can you see yourself landing that dream job? Can you see yourself on that solo vacation? Or see yourself starting that business? It's incredible how you can narrate your own story by simply just daydreaming it.
My main goal for this year was to have one of my articles featured on a website. All last year, I've been practicing different writing techniques. I didn't know exactly how that plan will be fulfilled, but deep down, I imagined my words being some inspiration for women of color. Here I am two months into the year, and I'm on xoNecole. As someone who used to be pessimistic, I can attest that a simple shift in our vision can open a road to endless possibilities.
It's time to lead with gratitude and not sorrow, it's time to shake off the insecurities and anxiety. The envisions will now become your visions. Keep shining, Queen.
Dear Queen is a series dedicated to letters from women written for themselves and other women. Have a "Dear Queen" letter? We want to read it! Email your letters to submissions@xonecole.com, subject: 'Dear Queen'.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Writer, Empath, Listener, Self Improver, and a motivational speaker to her homegirls Teisha LeShea currently resides in California who loves to add fifteen million items to her Amazon cart. She is passionate about wellness, spiritual improvement, leveling up, and setting up twice a month therapy appointments. She writes with you in mind. Her listicle and personal stories will inspire you to dig deep within yourself to be a better you. You can follow her on Instagram @teisha.leshea and & @tl_teisha.leshea
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
The reality is that you can catch a cold any time of the year. However, if you’ve ever wondered why it seems that you’re more susceptible to coming down with a cold or the flu during the fall and winter, things like cold air being able to weaken your immunity, you spending more time indoors in close proximity to other people and you even taking in more sugary foods during the holidays (that can increase your blood sugar levels, cause bodily inflammation and make it harder for your body’s cells to fight against bacteria) — they all play major roles.
The good news is if you’re someone who would prefer to take a more holistic approach to healing from the cold or flu (at least as much as you possibly can), there are some essential oils that are actually pretty effective. Since, at the end of the day, they are simply a concentrated form of plant extracts that contain antibiotic and antimicrobial properties and since they also can help to reduce inflammation, decrease stress, and so much more — before you feel a sore throat or a bout of the sniffles coming up, make sure that you have at least a couple of the following essential oils in your possession (to put into a diffuser, mix with a carrier oil to rub on your back or chest or even to sprinkle onto your pillowcases), please.
The Best Essential Oils for Colds and the Flu
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1. Cinnamon Oil for Colds and the Flu
Whenever I’ve shouted out cinnamon oil on this platform, it’s pretty much in the realm of sexual pleasure (check out “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious” and “10 Ways To Have An 'Extra Sweet' Vagina”); however, please believe that it can help you out in other departments too. If you want to boost your moods, improve your oral health, reduce your blood sugar levels, lower the effect that fatty meats have on your system, or even reduce the inflammation that is associated with breakouts or accelerate your hair growth, cinnamon oil is great.
Since cinnamon oil also has really powerful antibacterial, antifungal, and antioxidant properties, it’s a good ingredient if you like to make your own household cleaning products in order to keep germs at bay or if you want to put it into a diffuser in order to create an all-natural decongestant.
2. Thyme Essential Oil for Colds and the Flu
Thyme is an herb from the mint family that a lot of people like to cook with. It’s got properties in it that can do everything from help clear up acne and lower your blood pressure to speed up the healing process of yeast infections and other bacteria-related ones. Something else that’s impressive about thyme is studies reveal that it can help to decrease the volume of cancer tumors that are associated with colon cancer and it can help to slow down the growth of breast cancer cells as well.
And yes, thyme is excellent if you’re trying to treat a cold or the flu. One reason is that it’s packed with vitamins (including vitamin C) that will help to give your immune system a boost. Also, thyme can help to reduce the inflammation that can lead to coughing.
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3. Lemon Oil for Colds
Lemon oil is bomb; there’s simply no other way to put it. The properties in it have been proven to be able to ease morning sickness for pregnant women, reduce symptoms that are directly associated with depression and anxiety, kill the kind of bacteria that can lead to skin inflammation and cell damage, improve digestion issues (including relieving constipation), boost your brain power, get rid of bad breath, help to prevent cavities and so much more.
Because it is an antibacterial oil, you can use lemon oil as an all-natural disinfectant ingredient to clean your bathroom and doorknobs (you know, places that tend to carry a lot of germs), as well as wash your laundry. Lemon oil is also great for detoxing your system, strengthening your immunity, reducing cough, and soothing a sore throat.
4. Chamomile Oil for Colds and the Flu
Usually, when the subject of chamomile comes up (at least on this platform), it’s in the form of tea. Chamomile tea reduces stress. Chamomile tea soothes your scalp and helps to prevent split ends. Chamomile tea is even good for your vaginal health. Okay, but what about when it’s in the form of an essential oil? What are the ways that it can benefit you then? For starters, chamomile oil can help to reduce anxiety and depression, can bring relief if you’re dealing with something like carpal tunnel syndrome, and it can definitely help you to sleep better.
Since a good night’s rest actually helps you to prevent catching a cold or coming down with the flu in the first place (because sleep helps to keep your immune system in peak condition), that’s one reason why chamomile oil makes this list. Another is the fact that studies have proven that chamomile has a way of making the symptoms that are directly associated with the common cold easier to deal with.
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5. Peppermint Oil for Colds and the Flu
Peppermint oil is powerful. It increases blood circulation, reduces gas, eases nausea, helps to keep your skin from itching, soothes headaches, and can help to stimulate your scalp so that healthier hair is able to grow out of it. Something else that’s awesome about peppermint oil is its antimicrobial properties can help to destroy bacteria and yeast, which makes it ideal for treating things like athlete’s foot and something that I am susceptible to, tinea versicolor (a type of skin fungal infection).
If you want to heal from the flu as soon as possible, there are studies that reveal that peppermint oil contains antiviral properties, it can help to reduce any excessive mucus that may be in your system, and it can help to reduce your fever, too. As far as colds go, the menthol in peppermint oil can bring healing to a sore throat or an irritating cough.
6. Cajuput (White Samet) Essential Oils for Colds and the Flu
If you’ve never heard of cajuput essential oil before, don’t feel bad — I seriously doubt most folks have. Long story short, it’s a type of oil that’s made from the cajuput trees, which are popular in Southeast Asia and Australia. As far as its health benefits, your skin will like it because its strong antibacterial properties can help to prevent pimples. Your hair will like it because it can help to keep your scalp nice and healthy. Some people also say that it can be helpful when it comes to relieving the discomfort of a toothache or muscle and/or joint discomfort.
What particularly caught my interest about this oil is cajuput is not only used by individuals to speed up the healing process of the common cold, some studies are saying that its antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties may just slow down COVID too. Listen, since COVID is known for peaking during late fall and winter, it certainly couldn’t hurt to have some cajuput oil in your bathroom cabinet.
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7. Camphor Oil for Colds and the Flu
Camphor oil ain’t nothin’ to play with. The reason why I say that is because it’s a potent organic compound known as a terpene that comes from the wood of camphor trees. The benefits that come from applying camphor oil are it can help to relieve skin irritation, treat toenail fungus, reduce the discomfort that is associated with arthritis and migraine headaches, and if you’re someone who gets muscle cramps from working out, due to its antispasmodic and relaxant properties, it can help out in that department too.
And why would you want to consider using it if you have a cold or the flu? Well, thanks to its antibacterial, antifungal, and anti-inflammatory properties, camphor oil is a pretty effective decongestant; plus, it can help to decrease any coughing fits that you may have (especially during the night). Just make sure that, with this one especially, you use it with the “a little bit goes a very long way” approach.
8. Tea Tree Oil for Colds and the Flu
Wanna knock a zit out overnight? Unless it’s a blind pimple (because sometimes those are deeper beneath the surface than you might think), applying some tea tree oil to it will almost certainly get it done. What are some other ways that you can literally apply tea tree oil to your life? Since it has both antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties (ones that are hella potent, too), this is an oil that can help to reduce dandruff, heal eczema, treat nail fungus, fight gingivitis, heal wounds, and, because tea tree oil also contains antifungal properties, it can bring relief to irritated skin that is associated with a yeast infection (so long as you dilute it first).
You definitely need this type of oil around during cold and flu season because it can be a disinfectant that kills not only the germs that cause those viruses but the coronavirus as well. That’s actually why some people use it as a main ingredient in their DIY hand sanitizer (a recipe for how to make your own is here).
9. Bergamot Oil for Colds and the Flu
Bergamot is a type of citrus fruit that grows in southern Italy. As an essential oil, it’s good for you because it helps to decrease stress levels, lower your cholesterol levels, reduce bodily inflammation and pain, is a great spot treatment for zits, and can even destroy the bacteria that is associated with food poisoning. Aside from all of this, bergamot oil is also known for helping to soothe psoriasis and reduce abdominal fat, and it provides an all-natural alternative if you’re looking for a way to treat insomnia.
As far as the flu and even COVID goes, you definitely need some bergamot oil in your life. The potent antiviral properties that it contains can be therapeutic for when you inhale the vapors from the oil. Just make sure to keep in mind that since the oil is so powerful, you don’t need a ton of it. Thinking that less is more is wise.
10. Eucalyptus Oil for Colds and the Flu
And finally, eucalyptus. Eucalyptus oil smells like…the woods-meets mint-meets a medicine cabinet. That’s why I personally wouldn’t recommend it as a fragrance; however, if you want something that will kill bacteria, heal cold sores, level out your blood sugar levels, ease joint pain, or cause your breath to be fresher — this is the essential oil that you want.
And definitely, now that the cold and flu season is here,get some eucalyptus oil in case you need to break up congestion, decrease your cough, or simply don’t want to struggle so much to breathe out of your nose. It’s a signature oil that will make healing these types of viruses easier…so that you can enjoy all that fall and winter have to offer, y’all.
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