Quantcast

Dear Queen: To The Woman Whose Vision Hasn’t Come Into Fruition

New decade, new 2020 vision.

Dear Queen

Dear Queen:

Congratulations! You've survived another year. 2019 wasn't very promising on most days. You've had a handful of uncertainty in one hand and hope in the other. Last year, you stepped out on faith and decided to break generational curses to attend therapy. To finally get a taste of what healthy relationships mean, to set strong and firm boundaries that can be felt on the other side of the world and to use your tests as your testimony. Before jumping into February with both feet, I would advise you to stop, sit down and take three long breaths. This is a memorable moment.

You can look back in 2019 and be proud of the woman you are becoming. You will never feel this sense of relief ever again. You have now graduated to take life by the horns and control your destiny.

These next ten years will be the most fruitful. It's time to really start to think about our thoughts and the words that exit our lips. Affirmations of positivity and love will be spread this year and the next. How do I know this? I've been there. Approximately four years ago, I lived life with a broken spirit and a weak mind. I allowed others to dictate how I felt about myself and what dreams I wanted to follow. I let others' insecurities create doubt and negativity on how I felt about myself. My fear of speaking up for myself created such angst and resentment amongst family and friends that I became miserable.

I found myself repeating the same things others would say about themselves. I became addicted to feeling sorry for myself. It wasn't until a little prayer and encouragement from loved ones suggesting that therapy would become beneficial to me. Five months earlier, I read a quote that will forever change my outlook on life and about myself, "Old ways won't open new doors." This means changes are needed to get the results you want. What do you have to lose? So, thank your therapist for the glow up, which is 2020.

If You Can't See It…Speak It

Giphy

We've all become a victim of our eyes playing tricks on us. If we can't see it, then it can't be real. Wrong. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it isn't practical or obtainable. It just simply means you weren't ready or was never presented with the tools to accomplish this gift. You are bombarded with apps, books, journals, and websites like xoNecole that give you a jump start on affirmations and how they can come to fruition. When I was introduced to the word "affirmation", I was confused.

I was instructed to write thoughts or phrases that I can speak daily that would somehow lift my spirits. While stating these affirmations out loud, I didn't feel a burst of energy to tackle the world. I felt awkward and still confused, so I stopped. After about a week of self-sabotage, I had to remind myself that being uncomfortable is the first sign of change. I had nothing to lose. All I had to do is reach out to a different doorknob and turn it. I tried a variety of things.

My first attempt was the Being Mary Jane style of writing affirmations. I purchased extensive sticky notes and wrote what I thought I would want to hear repetitively and stuck them all over my room. Everywhere I turned, I had something to read. A week later, I found myself glancing at the bright yellow sticky notes and not reading them. The second method was to Google affirmations. I came across a sixty deck of affirmation cards through Amazon. I make it a point to read at least one card a day before I start my day. It sets the tone.

Use Your Imagination

Giphy

You are never too old to daydream. If you aren't dreaming, then you aren't living. If affirmations aren't your forte, you can always dive deep into your thoughts. Your thoughts can be as powerful as your words. To obtain this 20:20 vision for 2020, you need clear and prestigious insight of your accomplishments. Can you see yourself landing that dream job? Can you see yourself on that solo vacation? Or see yourself starting that business? It's incredible how you can narrate your own story by simply just daydreaming it.

My main goal for 2020 was to have one of my articles be featured on a website. All 2019, I've been practicing different writing techniques. I didn't know exactly how that plan will be fulfilled, but deep down, I've imagined my words being some inspiration for women of color. Here I am two months in 2020, and I'm on xoNecole. As someone who used to be pessimistic, I can attest that a simple shift of our vision can open a road to endless possibilities.

It's time to lead with gratitude and not sorrow, it's time to shake off the insecurities and anxiety. The envisions will now become your visions. Keep shining, Queen.

Dear Queen is a series dedicated to letters from women written for themselves and other women. Have a "Dear Queen" letter? We want to read it! Email your letters to submissions@xonecole.com, subject: 'Dear Queen'.

Featured image by Shutterstock

I’m sure a high percentage of people who chose to click this article either are fixers, former fixers, or maybe they want to understand why fixers feel the need to make it their responsibility to change everyone. Well, for one, barely anyone who fits the bill knows why they do what they do until it exhausts them—like myself. I have been a fixer for as long as I can remember. I’ve always loved fighting for the underdog. Something about being needed for the betterment of people’s lives has always felt very fulfilling to me. That is until I’d invested so much in many close relationships that it backfired on me. And like many fixers, I would question how I could have offered so much, yet people treated me anyhow in the end?

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

When I first heard about Harlem, the new Amazon series about four Black girlfriends in the city, I admit, I wasn't a fan. There, I said it. I'm a child of the golden era of Girlfriends, Living Single, Friends, Moesha, Sex and the City, and The L Word. My friends and I were real-life offspring of these constructs who had a lot in common with the women of those shows. Even after enjoying a season of the similar new Showtime series Run the World, I'd had enough of stories about friends "navigating their way through" their 20s, or 30s, or 40s. I loved these shows, but thought to myself, "Why do we need a Harlem? Can't we tell other stories?"

Keep reading... Show less

Nick Cannon is letting viewers in on a little secret about himself that is common with many people, yet surprising coming from the actor. On his self-titled talk show, the TV host along with a group of other men got vulnerable about their insecurities in the bedroom. Nick kicked it off by revealing his insecurity first.

Keep reading... Show less

As someone who has always considered themselves beautiful at any size, I can't say that I have always loved my body. Sure, there have been moments where I thought I was the sexiest thing walking. But for the most part, all I saw when I looked in the mirror were flaws. My thighs were always too big. Butt full of dimples from cellulite. Boobs always in the way. And my arms too jiggly.

Keep reading... Show less

The NAACP Image Awards have released their nominations for 2022 and some of our favorites have been nominated. From television series like Insecure to films like The Harder They Fall and music artists like Saweetie and Jazmine Sullivan, the annual show, which is known for Black excellence is sure to blow us away this year with the amount of talent nominated in the various categories.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

Boris Kodjoe And Nicole Ari Parker Know “When To Bring Work Home” For Their New Film 'Safe Room'

The husband-and-wife dream team have found their sweet spot.

Latest Posts