Dear Queen: An Open Letter To Passionate Women Who Find Themselves Dimming Their Light

Dear Queen

Everything I do receives all of me.

I put my heart, mind, and soul into anything with my name attached to it. Believe it or not, I consider this a lot easier than half-assing things. In love and in my career, I am driven by passion and am sometimes caught off guard when that same passion is not reciprocated. From jobs to men, it's important to me to feel as though every last bit of me is desired and needed.


I've come across men whose only ties with love are spelling it correctly. They knew nothing about passion because their emotions knew nothing beyond the surface. I've come across jobs that didn't even require my mind, let alone my heart. They only required that I show up on time and be the placeholder who did everything the boss felt was beneath him/her.

Being a woman driven by passion, it is important that I only tend to things that will bring that passion out of me. It is also important that I don't let anything or anyone make me feel bad for having a fire burning inside of me.

Here's an open letter to all of the women who try to hide that fire in fear of what others may think:

Dear Queen:

Be yourself and be yourself without an apology to follow.

Be who you were born to be unapologetically.

Instead of feeling like it's a curse, know that it's a blessing that you're able to use your heart time and time again.

Don't be ashamed for wearing your heart on your sleeve.

Don't feel weak for not being able to do others how they've done you.

That's strength, not a weakness.

I pray that you don't water yourself down to allow others to simply float in your presence.

I pray that you don't partake in anything that doesn't require or even want all of you.

Because all of you is all you know.

All of you is all you know how to give.

Demand that they take everything that comes with you or leave you where you stand.

You're not crazy.

Not for loving hard and not for chasing everything you've ever dreamed of.

You're passionate.

And if you've ever felt bad about that, forgive yourself.

If someone was able to convince you that you're "too much," forgive yourself.

Unlearn the notion that only part of you is good enough.

Always remember that the world needs you.

Passion has the ability to heal and whether you know it or not, your passion has healed someone's wounds.

Your passion has given someone courage to keep fighting.

Your passion has changed the world in one way or another.

Your passion has kept everything from a person to a company above water.

Dear Queen, the women who's on the verge of putting out her fire, I pray that you choose more fuel instead.

Dear Queen is a series dedicated to letters from women written for themselves and other women. Have a “Dear Queen" letter? We want to read it! E-mail your letters to editor@xonecole.com. Subject: 'Dear Queen'

Candice McCoy is a writer and Howard University Alumna who think she can change the world with words. You can find her spilling real thoughts on real topics on her blog Life In A Pile.

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