As I write this, it is day 52 of sexlessness and your girl is still learning how to deal. In the past, I've gone into dry spells seeking refuge to reconnect with myself, to detox, and to reset. The difference between now and then? Then, I wasn't interested in having sex with anyone. Now? I'm hella interested in one someone in particular, and I'm counting down the days until our bodies meet. I'm refraining from pleasure for the delayed gratification that I know is coming for me (and cumming for me). And I know, it's going to be so delicious.
Why am I going into detail about any of this? Well xoTribe, let me tell you, the struggle is real.
Everything about sex is intriguing me more than it should. I find myself fantasizing about throwing that ass in a circle for just about anyone whose smile I can get lost in enough. And don't get me started on my late-night (and sometimes midday) vibrator rendezvous. My mind constantly wanders to sex, so much so, texts and talks with bae become X-rated extended foreplay sessions in 60 seconds or less. Plus, my sending nudes game is on lock.
In addition to thinking about the sex I'm not having and quelling a libido that could rival a teenager's inner war of hormones, I decided to think about the sex I want to have. On my quest to constantly try new and varied sex positions, I've done a little research. If you're looking for new ones to add to your must-hit list, look no further:
The Scissor
In case you weren't aware, the scissor sex position can be an amazing option for those of us with vaginas to achieve orgasm. (Don't believe me? Check out this article here.) Word on the street, it's quite the orgasmic experience for all parties involved. As its name suggests, you and your partner will create a "scissors" formation.
The receiving partner will lie on their side, with their other leg on top of that one. They will then raise their leg for the penetrative partner to gain access to the vagina or anus. The penetrative partner will lie down too but in the other direction with their head towards the receiving partner's feet. Their legs will end up inter-crossed between each other's bodies, and all the penetrative partner has to do is thrust.
The Amazon
The Amazon sex position turns the woman on top style up a notch. Recommended for more "fit" couples, this position can prove to be slightly difficult. But if you get it right, the dominance and penetration you feel on top is so worth it.
The penetrative partner will be on their back with their legs pulled toward their chest. The receiving partner will squat on top of the penetrative partner, resting on the back of their partner's legs. The receiving partner can either kneel or stand up, depending on where the penetrative partner is positioned.
The Three-Legged Dog
The Three-Legged Dog is a standing sex position that works well because it allows for shallow penetration and alleviates the penetrative partner from having to hold the receiving partner's full weight. That being said, it's perfect for both anal or vaginal penetration. It's also great if you want to switch up the routine couch- and bed-centric coitus.
In order to get into this position, the receiving partner will stand in front of the penetrative partner and lift their leg at their partner's waist. The penetrative partner will hold that leg with one hand and use the other to increase the receiving partner's stability as they position their penis or their dildo to make shallow thrusts into their vagina or anus.
The Banana Split
I'm not going to lie to you, I enjoy missionary and its many variations most, but there's something about hit-it-from-the-back positions that just, well, hit different. The Banana Split is the newest entry on my must-hit list, and with good reason.
While the receiving partner is on their belly with their head down, the penetrative partner will hold them up by the waist at their hips and and thrust them from behind. The position allows for deeper penetration during the sex act and, helps more easily facilitate butt play. If you're more on the flexible side, you can show off by putting your legs in spread eagle position, hence the tongue-in-cheek name "banana split." For those of us not so with it, bend your knees so that your feet (and toes) point toward the ceiling. Position accomplished.
Sidebar: If you're a G-spot orgasm enthusiast, this variation might also do wonders for your sex life.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- 8 Wild Ways To Do Doggy Style In Style - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- Sex Tips For Virgins For A Pleasurable Wedding Night - xoNecole ... ›
- Are You Ready To Amp Up Your Oral Sex Game? Try This ... ›
- 4 Hit It From The Back Moves That Are Bound To Get You To Orgasm ›
- Steamy Sex Positions To Try ASAP - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- How To Hit It From The Back, Sex Positions - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- The 8 Best Doggy Style Sex Positions - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- First Time Sex Wedding Night Tips - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- First Time Sex Wedding Night Tips - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 8 Sex Positions To Try In 2019 That Are Perfect For A "New Year ... ›
- New Sex Positions to Try in 2019 – SheKnows ›
- 21 Creative Sex Positions Guaranteed to Shake Things Up | Glamour ›
- The 5 Sex Positions Everyone Will Be Trying in 2020 | Health.com ›
- Different Sex Positions to Spice It Up: Pictures Of Different Sex ... ›
- The Best Sex Positions To Try In Spring 2018 ›
- 7 Best Sex Positions for Women - Fun Sex Positions to Try ›
- 36 Sex Positions Everyone Should Try In Their Lifetime | Women's ... ›
- 10 New Sex Positions to Help You Mix it Up in Bed | StyleCaster ›
Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Soul Brother/Soul B Photos/Shutterstock